Cheerio to Lukas!

by .



Well how are we today?


Nothing says summer quite like sitting next to a guy on the train and you can taste his body odour so acutely, it’s akin to biting into an raw onion.

Sweet times.

Today, we can talk about departures. Lukas Podolski is heading to the scrap yard of Europe that is the Turkish league. Galatasaray are picking up the expensive German for a whopping €3.2m in a deal that works out very well for Arsenal in the sense that we remove a hefty wage from our bill.

You have to say, in the grand scheme of things, Lukas was a massive fail. He didn’t have the pace to make it in the Premier League and I think it’s fair to say, he didn’t really have the drive to slot into the team outwide. He was also quite technically deficient for an Arsene Wenger player. He couldn’t play with his back to goal and he lacked the physical presence to get by in the central role. Outwide he had some success. His delivery was excellent and when presented with a chance, he’d hit it, like, proper hard.

Weird to say, but he was mostly good for goals… which is fine when you’re an Everton player, not so fine when your club has bigger expectations.

It was hard not to love Lukas. But we’ve all worked with people who have Bantersaur traits in the office, but they never contribute to the tea run and they always palm work off with charm.

F*ck those people and f*ck you Lukas. You never made the damn tea.

Moving on. Some Chelsea fans made some crass remarks on Twitter to Petr Cech. Sorry people, feels like a bit of a non-news story. If you’re shocked there are idiots on Twitter, well, I’d suggest you haven’t hung out in the cesspool that is the football community.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s some beautiful folk on there, but there are also some really disgusting people on there. Pretty sure Petr gives zero f*cks…

I find it interesting that Chelsea is a totally elite part of London, yet their fans are pretty unelite. What happened there? Was Chelsea ever a dump? I bet when Roman bought it he thought he’d bought a slice of Premiership Luxury. Poor guy.

In other news, Sweden won the U21 Championships. Pretty special for such a small nation. It’ll be interesting to see how those players span out into Europe’s elite clubs. Also a bit sad that William Carvahlo missed the penalty that lost the game. Bad times.

Nigel Pearson has been sacked by Leicester. Really not that surprising, When your son releases his first porno of a Thai girl licking his rectum with a twist of racism thrown in for extra ‘banter’… you have to wonder how long your Thai overlords are going to let you go on for. Difficult thing for them now is that he did a really good job keeping them up. Anyone coming in there now, well, you’d have to fear for them.

Anyway, that’s all I’ve got for you today. Busy, busy, busy!



423 Responses to “Cheerio to Lukas!”

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  1. DUIFG

    We replaced them with Podolski, Giroud and Cazorla for about the same price, and the same return.We stayed in the top 4 another year. The only problem was having to sell players to begin with.

    So we bought 3 players in to replace 1 mans goal output, in what way is that well played? with podolski is never about goals anyway, his lack of input in general play meant he was a liability and dont even get me started on his defensive play.

    We thought he was going to get us 15+goals at least each year, he pretty much played as a striker anyway and only got 11 in that first year.

  2. paddywhack

    what’s the big deal about Vidal drinking. Big Tony Adams turned out and played well despite the fact that he was pissed the night before. It’s in his book.

  3. salparadisenyc

    I think Vidal ends up at Madrid with Khedira gone and Illaramendi on the market.

    They need a ball winner in the mix, a physical presence. Stop gap until they come in for Ramsay.

  4. Keyser

    Where do people get these ideas about equivalency.

    Drink-Driving carries legal implications, maybe even jail time.

    Jack or Sczcesny smoking the odd Cigerette ?

    Even then these players are actually at the club.

  5. Keyser

    Of course it’s well played, the problem was having to sell players to begin with, the markets inefficient, Van Persie forced his way out, and on the back of the previous summer you’re left scrambling.

    We replaced his and Songs contribution pretty cleanly.

    If we mess that up, the massive bank balance we supposedly have has to instantly do without 30-40 million out of the Champions League.

  6. bennydevito

    Thanks N5, chat later.

    I think whoever we sign will be a good indication as to Wenger’s long-term intentions of retirement or contract extension. Signing Cech and Vidal will mean going out with a bang, whereas signing Cech and nobody would probably indicate he’s sticking around.

  7. Jim Lahey

    @WE – He doesn’t really seem like a Stoke type of player though! Plus why would he want to move from Milan to Stoke!! Why not take your chances somewhere in Spain, Germany or France! Christ I would go and play for LA or NY over Stoke!!

  8. WengerEagle


    While I’m not a fan of Stoke or Mark Hughes it has to be said that they are actually playing some decent football now.

    Bojan and Arnautovic are both excellent ballers and play for Stoke, the former a Barcelona graduate and first teamer and the latter an ex-Inter Milan player.

    Wouldn’t be the worst move for Shaqiri, guaranteed game time in a decent mid-table club, fat wages presumably and if he plays well enough I’d imagine that a big club will go back in for him.

    Living in Stoke would be the obvious catch.

  9. Crusaderrabbit

    There’s no way Wenger will be buying anyone of note now Cech’s done (unless someone major leaves). He’ll be more than happy to stick with this squad so forget about transfers, relax and enjoy your summer

  10. WengerEagle

    Haha sounds like you were a baller that slipped through the net mate, were you small as a kid?

    Pirlo would have struggled to make it in England as a kid.

  11. qna

    Shaquiri to Stoke has to be one of the best pieces of business you will see. He is top 6 starter material. How the hell did they convince him to go to Stoke. Nice work. I am glad he is not strengthening pool or spurs.

  12. gunnergetyou

    Tbf the last time we went up to Stoke they completely played us off the park, didn’t even have to bully us.

    Not to mention the complete annihilation of Liverpool.

  13. WengerEagle

    Chavs are paying a £4 million loan fee and £180.000 a week wages for Falcao.

    Bizarre move. He can barely run anymore and couldn’t finish in between Rihanna’s legs.

  14. qna

    Hope Andy Mitten is ITK and Wenger is looking for a bigger name than Schneiderlin. Surely that also rules out Carvalho. Not sure who fits the description though. Vidal yes. Not sure who else.

  15. Carts

    “Why do people think Walcott is asking for £150k ?”

    After deductions he’ll earn around £80k net, me thinks

  16. qna

    WE. I heard is was £130000 per week. Loan fee a bit steep though. But if he comes good they will have the second best striker in the league, right up there with Kun.

  17. Relieable sauce

    I’d buy a Muscled Cunt t shirt, maybe Keyser could model it on the site.

    I’d also have one with an image of a camel chasing a coconut down the stairs.

  18. Keyser

    I dunno about small, we always played with the older lot, even in Sunday League, you had to be tough, always annoys me when footballers turn their backs, we were always told to keep your eye on the ball. Used to cycle loads to.

    I think inactivity has a lot to do with depression nowadays in children especially.

  19. WengerEagle


    He’s not coming good mate, he’s been absolutely shocking post-injury and at 29 he’s not getting any younger.

    Could barely believe how poor he was in the Copa America.

  20. Carts

    “Chavs are paying a £4 million loan fee and £180.000 a week wages for Falcao.”

    I suspect both figure to be less..

  21. gambon

    The only exercise Keyser gets is climing the stairs from his mothers basement, and opening 30 Dairylea lunchables every day.

  22. blsany

    “Bizarre move. He can barely run anymore and couldn’t finish in between Rihanna’s legs.”

    Fucking hell no he’s gay too.Man obviously lost all his mojo in more ways than one.

  23. WengerEagle

    Maybe Keyser, social networking sites, Nintendos’, Playstations, etc play their part too.

    The average 10 year old nowadays is probably on Facebook, plays a fair amount of playstation/Xbox and has an Iphone.

    I didn’t have a phone until I was 11 or 12 and when I got one pretty sure it was just a shitty Nokia, used to just play footy from morning to night as a youngster.

  24. qna

    Falcao did ok in the emirates cup friendly. I think he still has a couple of good years in him. Teaming up with Costa again will be familiar as well. The guy know to score goals. But I dont know if Chelsea is the team for him. Thinking Torres.

  25. Hitchy

    Thanks for this bit Pedro.

    “When your son releases his first porno of a Thai girl licking his rectum with a twist of racism thrown in for extra ‘banter’…”

    I live with a Leicester fan, and we never got to the bottom (excuse the pun) of what the video was actually showing! He’s gutted Nigel Pearson is leaving, as the only managers they are likely to attract are not going to be very good…

  26. WengerEagle

    Copa America has been fairly disappointing to watch in all fairness, has also been a nightmare to bet on for me.

    Argentina would win 6-1 the one night I don’t place a 20 on a -1.0 handicap.

  27. salparadisenyc

    Come on Keyser post up a pic of them “Abs”.

    Tight LG shirt bit of fleshy mid drift coming out, “Muscular Cunt” on the back and “Moronic Cunt” on the front.

    Oh dear we should put LG and Bam into a cage and see whom comes out the other side.

  28. Carts

    “Teaming up with Costa again will be familiar as well”

    I’d be very surprised if we saw them start simultaneously..

  29. salparadisenyc

    James Horncastle ‏@JamesHorncastle 1m1 minute ago
    What a January window that was for Inter…

    Think there may be some heat to those Shaqiri to Stoke rumors.

  30. LeMassiveCoq

    Didn’t Podolski have a better goals to minutes played ratio than anyone else in the team?

    Shaqiri to Stoke eh? Looks like the Spuds and Pool may have more competition for 5th/6th place next season :))

  31. salparadisenyc

    Could be interesting, the way West Ham going there certainly going to give some sides trouble.

  32. Relieable sauce

    I imagine Keyser lying on a bed of nails or levitating, when he is in one of his deep & meaningfuls.

  33. Keyser

    You should try watching South American football, I know it’s a continent, but you used to be able to discern certain traits to specific countries or teams, it’s all a bit of a mess now. Copa Liberdores games seem very unpredictable.

    Teams don’t really play with flair, it’s like Mourinho and his style has infected all areas of football.

  34. salparadisenyc

    Watching Uruguay go all Mourinho on Chile was the final nail for me… gave the missus all TV rights. Those will be claimed back come mid August.

    Were onto season 2 of the Bridge, much more entertaining than this Copa.

  35. Keyser

    Question for the Muricans.

    Christopher Hitchens was quality, Bill Maher’s alright.

    Stephen Colbert’s gone to the Late Show, Jon Stewarts leaving, John Olivers decent but on one night a week.

    Is Political Satire dead in America ? Who should I follow ? Will Trevor Noah be any good ?!

  36. Kiyoshi Ito

    Maybe we can design a shirt for Nasri Mouth..

    On the will read..


    Could be?


    Might be?

    On the will have Arsene bent over with an arrow pointing to his posterior, with the caption..

    “Most certainly”

  37. Relieable sauce

    Ashes very soon, sound of willow on leather & all that.

    England with a fighting chance of beating the Aussies over the long days of English summer is the perfect distraction from the TW sagas for me.

  38. Nasri's Mouth

    @Kiyoshi Ito

    Oh dear, you’ve forgotten what you were told. Don’t start fantasising about me in your favourite tee shirt again. Especially in this heat. You’ll go all red and blotchy again.

  39. Nasri's Mouth

    Relieable Sauce: England with a fighting chance of beating the Aussies

    Really ? They look pretty bloody strong at the moment. Fingers crossed though

  40. SpanishDave

    Wengers finished for the summer. He’s promised Walley Walcott to become our striker. Welbeck and Giroud up front. What a total bunch of losers.
    Wenger will start with one dm who will get injured in the first few games then he will roll out Arteta, loose some games and then say it’s back luck.
    Same old crap every year.

  41. salparadisenyc

    Isn’t Colbert’s show keeping format, just moving to better time slot,
    the one Stewart has given up?

  42. Marko

    So inter paid 16 million for Shaqiri and 6 months later sell him for 12 million. No wonder they’re a bit of a joke these days

  43. Relieable sauce


    PMA for now at least. Australia are strong & we will need some old & new players to step up if we are to have any chance. So long as its not a whitewash i’ll enjoy the experience as a whole.
    You have too admire the Aussie cricket team as well, usually up there with the best National teams globally from any sport.

  44. blsany

    “So inter paid 16 million for Shaqiri and 6 months later sell him for 12 million. No wonder they’re a bit of a joke these days”

    Yeah Marko i call that Podolski syndrome.

  45. Nasri's Mouth

    The strength of the PL is that now Stoke can afford to buy players like Shaqiri.

    However, they can’t do anything about what it’s like to actually live in Stoke, which is why Shaqiri isn’t keen on the move

  46. Carts

    “The strength of the PL is that now Stoke can afford to buy players like Shaqiri.

    However, they can’t do anything about what it’s like to actually live in Stoke, which is why Shaqiri isn’t keen on the move”

    LOLOL… How far is Sutton Colfield from Stoke? I think that’ll be his best best

  47. Nasri's Mouth

    @Relieable Sauce

    Yeah, I’m not a cricket fan, but I like a bit of Ashes. The whole competitiveness ‘its like a derby’ atmosphere makes it excellent

  48. MidwestGun

    Wow… Rhys has taken stalker….. nutter…. to a whole new level.
    Pedro ‘s not a drunk American spy. ….. that’s my gig.
    Hahaha dude is batshit crazy… now he’s turning a bit vindictive. Watch your back Pedro. You think those rats were bad.

  49. salparadisenyc

    But Nasri’s right w/ this new TV money you see Stoke bidding for Shaqiri, West Ham have landed Payet and the Swansea’s signage of Ayew.

    All good players.

  50. MidwestGun

    Nasri –
    Interesting article. Can you see Kroenke signing an agreement to voluntarily spend some of his own money to try and win things? Hahaha. Hell would freeze over first.

    Looks like Chelsea and United are in a prime position to spend money like crazy tho. Get an exception for trying to build their global brand or some such wording.

  51. Nasri's Mouth


    Kroenke wont add in a penny.

    He’s much more likely to take a few million out though. Maybe next season

  52. SpanishDave

    Diary finally gone.
    They are thinking of putting up a statue up in the medical room for him, but it fell down.

  53. MidwestGun

    Also, t-shirts. .. yes do it! Pedro can donate the money to a charitable cause or something if he wants.

    I want the Salparadise
    # GoldenGod model….. with Le Grove and the Arsenal badge on the front.

  54. Nasri's Mouth


    Chelsea seem to be aiming for self sustainability finally. They’ve been talking about it for a decade and look like they’ve finally got there.

    It’ll be interesting to see what happens in 2-3 seasons when ManU are steamrollering the league ala Bayern though. That might make Roman reach back into his deep pockets. The other issue might be the CL. With teams like Stoke (or Everton) signing players like Shaqiri, it’s going to be harder and harder for English sides to save themselves to compete in the CL, so maybe another year of failure for them might also make the difference

  55. MidwestGun

    Nasri –
    Ya…. could see that. What with his new LA stadium deal… and the stock market tanking a bit. Sure he could justify it somehow.
    Altho, he probably uses Arsenal’s financial position to secure financing for his other projects so he might want to keep it looking good.
    Can’t tell you how much people in this area can’t stand the man. Looking more and more likely he’s moving the Rams in a few years time despite the City basically offering him to build a free stadium.

  56. Mo

    Rhys, I know it’s a very hot day today, so you’re probably suffering from sun stroke. Which is the only excuse I can think of for your lunatic post. If you were completely compos mentis when posting, you should (a) be ashamed of yourself, and (b) get some professional help right away.

  57. MidwestGun

    Nasri –
    Ffp seems like trying to solve a problem by writing a complicated tax code type system with exemptions and loopholes, and a deciding committee rather then a set of rules. It’s so convoluted with legal challenges to come, hard to predict. Especially if they keep moving the goalposts.

  58. salparadisenyc


    Golden God T’s should be ordered!

    Rhys certainly went a bit off piste there, lost me around the Black and Decker bit.

    The man sounds like a bitter washed up former something that never really went as far as he thought and now realizes that middle ground he’s tackled is the peak of the ziggurat for him.

    At least the fall won’t be that far. He should buy a white Porsche.

    Growing up in both countries I always encountered many snobbish types (father to son) whom considered anything American as gauche. He reminds me of those guys, sad sort. This site has a few.

    Take the best from both and meld them into a kind of one was my motto.

    My favorite Rhys post was a couple summers back he gave his two cents on MLB and how nothing is grass roots in America. Think I typed back “Little League”.

  59. MidwestGun

    Blsany –
    Not 100% sure… Something to do with competing blogs and Rhys taking shots at Pedro as a guest commenter. Pedro posted one of his e-mails as a blog here and it’s been downhill ever since. He’s always been on the edge of reason but seems to be slipping more and more. Used to have a bit of thoughtful incite into football in an interesting manner but now it’s just weird.

  60. gary

    crusaderrabit,, i think the opposite.. i think AW would have told him of his plans and cech was obviously accepting that .. meaning i think he’s told cech their will be more signings.. he said he will only buy if better then we have and so far so good

  61. MidwestGun

    Sal –
    Lol…. grassroots is what we do. Friday night lights in Texas, And1 basketball in NYC,little league pretty much in every small town. Our problem is turning grassroots(soccer moms) into a productive endeavor when it comes to footie.

  62. salparadisenyc

    Interweb buzzing with rumors of a Man City bid for €100m for Pogba, coming on the heals of Barca doing €80m in an attempt to set up transfer for next summer.

    Wenger care to counter?

  63. PetrCechYourself

    How do people here feel about Lacazette?

    Would you take a punt on him given the few striking options available. £21m isn’t a a huge fee for someone so young with great potential.

  64. Cesc Appeal

    £71 Million for Pogba is too much in my opinion right now, funny all the press about ‘kick in the teeth for City’ with FFP…

    Not sure how credible the Pogba stuff is, but £120 Million on Pogba on Sterling, with FFP…can’t see it

  65. qna

    RIP Diaby my friend. I wish you all the best in the football afterlife. I will finally today forgive you for your selfish ego-driven stupidity in that 4-4 against Netwcastle amd remember you for the pure class that you sometimrs oozed when fit. All the best. Your well worth a punt for any PL club on a pay as you play deal.

  66. MidwestGun

    Jack Jebb, Austin Lipman, Brandon Ormonde-Ottewill and Josh Vickers, are leaving Arsenal, having reached the end of their contracts along with Diaby.

    As Pink Floyd would
    Goodbye all you people,
    your leaving today,
    there is nothing you can do to change my mind.

  67. Cesc Appeal

    Equally don’t believe the stuff about Juventus agreeing a price for Pogba now with Barcelona for next summer, why would they?

  68. Nasri's Mouth

    Cesc Appeal: Not sure how credible the Pogba stuff is, but £120 Million on Pogba on Sterling, with FFP…can’t see it

    Me neither

    …Unless they’re selling Aguero for £80m to Real Madrid

    Juventus are basically saying they’re selling Pogba at all, and why should they. His value isn’t going to go down in the next 2 seasons.

  69. salparadisenyc


    James Horncastle ‏put this out there:
    Marotta asked by GdS to comment on meeting Barca in Milan. “Yes, we’ve received an offer for €80m but I can confirm we aren’t selling Pogba”

    At a certain point Raiola is going to get Pogba a massive wage.

  70. London gunner


    I find it interesting how people verbally attack me by insulting me and calling me names.

    Whilst all I do is explain my point, argument or position.. And I rarely get personal unless provoked.

    So what’s more mature? Calling names and levelling personal insults or actually just debating the point at hand?

    I think I might just know 😉

  71. qna

    “His value isn’t going to go down in the next 2 seasons.”

    Usually a 22 year olds value will not gobdown. But from €100m it definately can go down. If he gets injured or even if he has a poor season next year. Remember also he wont have Pirlo nor probably Vidal sitting next to him this season. Juventus should take offers over €100m. I persinally dont think he is worth that much. He is very good. One of the worlds best. But there is a lot of hype attached. He is yet to prove he is worth €100m IMO.

  72. MidwestGun

    Blsany –
    Shhhh we don’t mention Messi around Red anymore. Sets him into fits of apoplexy. Lol…. he was ridiculously good literally like a point guard in the nba, drive or dish the ball. Unplayable.

    Has Yaya Toure been linked anywhere? Seems like a temporary Pirlo replacement in a trade deal, maybe.

  73. Nasri's Mouth


    Toure’s agent regularly makes statements about whether his client is staying or leaving during the summer.

    I think the last one was that he was staying. Issue with him leaving is wages, even with his latest contract.

    He’s more a Vidal replacement than a Pirlo

  74. blsany

    Yeah pretty much what NM just said there.Last i heard he was happy to stay but he’ll probably mention again how 300k is not enough to feed,clothe his family.Top player but so fucking money driven.

  75. Nasri's Mouth


    Indeed. But they wont. They just need to keep him for another season, (or 2 if he re-signs with a release clause for more money next summer) and flog him to Barca for 80m euros

  76. MidwestGun

    Nasri/Blsany –
    Ok, thanks. .. ya guess he is more like Vidal but was thinking agewise moreso with the Pirlo replace. Yaya slowed down to a slow jog at times. Anyhow, thinking about it now Juventus would have to offer stupid ammount of wages, anyhow.

  77. prvhc

    The Champion’s League is peddled as the pinnacle of competitive football.Juventus just met Barcelona in the final,and Barca are trying to poach their star player.It was the same with Bayern-Dortmund.Atletico too was ripped off after their defeat in the final.What it means is that the likes of Barca,Real and Bayern will be facing progressively weaker teams,because the best players from those teams will be sucked into one of the three.Even the likes of Chelsea and PSG are not immune to this.The only achievement is one of them beating the other two.They should just have a mini league among the three of them and give them the trophy.

  78. Mayank

    Shaqiri to Stoke! Probably the first example of the new TV deal muscle being flexed. Other European Leagues were right to be afraid, probably why FFP got relaxed for smaller teams.

  79. MidwestGun

    Not sure what City’s plan is other then buy up expensive dudes.
    Zabaleta, Kompany,Demichelis,Clichy
    Pogba, Silva, De Bruyne
    Navas,Aguero, Sterling

  80. blsany

    Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting
    Those kicks were fast as lightning
    In fact, it was a little bit frightening
    But they fought with expert timing

  81. blsany

    Yeah..LOl come to think of it’s extremely rude to chinese folks as well.Hence i only posted that bit.Stuck in traffic blasting this tune over and my car.Let them fucking have it.

  82. Cesc Appeal

    Sal NM

    Yeah, I just think it’s smart for them to hold onto him and ask for massive money next year, that’s why I think Vidal might be sacrificed, not saying to us but to someone.

    Got Khedira in on a free, Dybala, Mandzukic and someone said they are looking at Witsel as well, sell on 28 year old Vidal and you’ve got the foundations of a good midfield with Khedira, Witsel and Pogba.

    It’s also ready to take the blow when you have to sell Pogba, and all that cash can be reinvested in a non Spurs/Liverpool fashion.

  83. Cesc Appeal

    Who else thinks we might make a Kallstromesque signing in January with Diaby? Got a feeling…I just cannot believe Wenger would actually let him go

  84. Nasri's Mouth

    @RSPC Arsenal

    Podolski has practically left too.

    I’d imagine players like Sanogo, Gnabry and Akpom will go on loan

    Maitland Niles too

  85. Cesc Appeal

    I like how the media works, Vargas plays well for Chile…wait…Sanchez plays for Chile…Sanchez also plays for Arsenal…Vargas to Arsenal!

  86. MidwestGun

    Cesc –
    Vargas is the Chilean Altidore. .. can’t stop scoring for his country, total rubbish for a decent Club team. That said… let’s just buy the entire Chilean team. Lol.
    # ChileanMafia

  87. salparadisenyc

    Thanks for the service Abou D, do think we can use the salary more wisely.
    Thats 60k and Poldi’s 100k or whatever type deal is worked.

    Room for a class player in there.

    Curious to see which way this keeper thing goes, is it Chesser or Ooospina?