Oh deary me, I hit peak wanker yesterday, I went to a food festival. What have I become? I don’t mean to be a total killjoy, but there’s something incredibly vulgar about heading into an event that sells £9 Kobe beef burgers that are so small, they’d look like half pounders in Santi Cazorla’s hands.
I couldn’t get involved in the fanfare. What did make me laugh is that the biggest queue was for Meat Mission (dirty burgers), basically the pot noodle of the event. Something else that made me laugh? They had a food stand in association with action for hunger… SELLING WELL EXPENSIVE WRAPS.
‘Guys, I feel really good about this £9 duck tongue wrap, because, you know, poor people in Croydon get free rice and stuff’
I guess, at the heart of it, I don’t give a shit about the latest artisan twist on beans on toast and I have no interest in queuing for a ‘the best cheese toastie’ in London.
Anyway, I enjoyed the beer… Waaaahhhhhwyyyy! Lad, lad, lad! TOP BOY!
So what can I serve you up that’s delicious, overpriced and probably endangered?
Well, ol’ Del Boy Dangote has been back in the press talking about buying Arsenal.
‘When we get this refinery on track, I will have enough time and enough resources to pay what they are asking for,’
Sounds like me when I’m talking about getting the kitchen back on track. This guy might be mega, but he’s not more mega than Alisher. The Uzbek doesn’t need to save to buy a football club. If anyone is buying, it’s him. Has Dangote even landed one share? Joker. Come back when you’re serious. I have more shares than him (my dad does, but when I take him out this Christmas, it’s mine).
He even managed to balls up what’s going on.
“They are doing well, but they need another strategic direction. They need more direction than the current situation, where they just develop players and sell them.”
So 2011. He clearly doesn’t tune in here religously to land the latest news, views and opinions. That’s upsetting.
There are a few rumours floating around that our Puma Away shirt is going to be gold. Thierry said that was his favourite. He also noted we never lost in it. Maybe he dropped that because he was playing the PR game!
No Thierry? Say it ain’t so?
Anyway, I like gold kits. Wonder if the inspo (yeah, I said inspo) came from this from last year?
Doubtful, but why not snipe at Puma’s creative integrity on a downtime for real football news?
So, the news is in… fixtures.
- West Ham (H)
- Palace (A)
- Liverpool (H)
- Newcastle (A)
Bit of a weird one, because right now, it’s easy to say those are easy games, but all those teams are capable of turning us over if they have a positive summer. The start is of such high importance for us.
Other games worth mentioning… Boxing Day is away at Southampton. First game of the new year is Newcastle. We have Chelsea mid-September, United start of October and Spurs at the start of November.
March, April and May are pretty damn easy. So if we have a strong start and we get to March in with a shout… we really could do something special (WIN THE DAMN LEAGUE MAN).
Right, that’s enough from these finger tips. On that note, the old phrase was the pen is mightier than the sword? Bit dated. What’s the score now? I don’t even think I could write with a pen these days? The digits are mightier than the semi automatic?
P.S. I wrote something for The Daily Mail about Jack Wilshere. Oh shhhh, save your boos.