IAN WRIGHT GNOME | Keeper deal nearing?

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A local golf club gave my old man a battered Ian Wright garden gnome, so he painted it (smart paint job). In my opinion, Arsenal are missing a trick not selling these. Ivan, drop me an e-mail, my Dad will do you a deal.

Anyway, feels quiet outside. Like something is brewing. Maybe it’s a transfer?

Who knows. Don’t get too excited about the silence. Embrace it and hope for the best.

So, what’s on today?

Well, Puma have a kit launch event on Monday. I’m guessing they’re going to showcase the new kit… and a £30m defensive midfeilder with Petr Cech?

No? Maybe not?

Ok, but whatever. We all love a kit launch. Amazing how much more interested Puma are in engaging fans over Nike. They’re like a new girlfriend after a souless 10 year marriage. So much attention for us. They’re making it an event, and in exchange, we must buy their products… which, to be honest, are way nicer than the items Nike offered. Far more fashion oriented.

I’ve been invited to their event where I’m going to tell them that football kits ARE NOT FOR ADULTS. They’ll soon realise why my marriage to Nike was soulless.

What else is going off?

OMG. Arsenal are being charged with bad things for messing about in the transfer of Calum Chambers. We’ve breached the rules. We could be in trouble. Someone quipped that Wenger would love a transfer ban… the total pervert.


Arsene, calm down, it’ll be a fine at worst. A bit embarrassing either way!

I’m writing this with Jeremy Kyle on in the background (A poverty Jerry Springer) and I’m wondering how these people get laid so frequently? Currently listening to a woman complain her Napoleon Dynamite lookalike boyfriend dealt with her pal when she walked the dog… plaaaaaya.

Anyway, Jack Wilshere doesn’t want to go to Manchester City.

“I wouldn’t go somewhere just because I’m a home-grown player,”

“I’d want to be wanted by a club; I want to be wanted by Arsenal.”

Jeez, it’s like listening to Mike Skinner song after a heavy weekend. I’m welling up over here. Don’t sell him Arsene, he’s up for an open relationship if that’ll make things work? This is the second time he’s come out about this, so there must be a worry / fear that something might be brewing.

He’s a major talent, he’s just not shown it. So from a brutalist viewpoint, if you can get £30m for him, you’d be inclined to take it… IF HE WAS FOREIGN. But he’s not, he’s English, so I’d imagine we’ll hold on to him. Hopefully watch him blossom into Xavi.

Wenger is apparently pushing through the Cech deal. That’d be a seriously brilliant signing. One of the best since Sanchez. We’re also going to sign up Theo Walcott. Which is nice. Not sure about him through the middle, but he’s a good option through the forward line. He’s also the best finisher at the club.

Right, that’s all I can muster. Let’s chat later. Like, maybe tomorrow? x

328 Responses to “IAN WRIGHT GNOME | Keeper deal nearing?”

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  1. Marko

    The idea that Coquelin is just a tackler and his passing is poor us really nonsense. The idea that we need a DM with incredible passing stats is again silly. Considering all the DM’s we’ve been linked to Schneiderlin is probably the better passer but Krychowiak and Kondogbia are the better DM’s though

  2. kwik fit

    Everyone’s talking these days about coq’s tackle and justifiably so. It’s as good a tackle as there is in the modern game. Just ask the girls 😉

  3. Keyser

    MTLM – We have competition, we need efficiency, it isn’t about whether the team improves in a specific way or not, it’s how it improves to challenge.

    Who knows what the summer holds, I’m really thinking about going back to ‘We buy no-one’ as my default position, the more we talk about Vidal.

  4. Marko

    Bam you gotta look at the people who tend to agree with you tend to be on the more aggressive negative side of the argument. A lot of people get on well withNM here. I’ve only seen him called a prick once

  5. Nasri's Mouth

    MTML: He’s in his prime. It is the age of players we should be looking at to kick us on..

    No,no no!

    This is exactly what we shouldn’t be doing.

    Ultimately we want to compete with Barca and RM etc.

    They can outspend us, they make more money, they can afford to buy ready made stars, and replace them when they get too old.

    If we try to match them with that strategy we’ll lose.

    If however we try to bring in younger players who are just about to peak, and have plenty of playing time ahead of them, it means we wont have to replace them in 3 or 4 seasons, and therefore the money we save can be used to buy better players in other positions.

  6. Nasri's Mouth

    Marko: The idea that Coquelin is just a tackler and his passing is poor us really nonsense.

    Well, it IS the weaker side of his game though, not just the passing, but the whole possession side of his game, going from defence to attack.

  7. Nasri's Mouth


    He was, and I referenced that in an earlier post. Not only his passing, but going past players, quick transitions, and knowing when to just hold the ball…

    but I don’t think we’ve seen enough of that side of his game to make a judgement yet.

  8. Dan Ahern

    True, Coq’s passing did look awesome in the final. But counting on it to stay that way is like counting on Wilshere to go a full season uninjured.

  9. Dan Ahern

    And speaking of full seasons, is that what you want to do again, hope a player can play every single game? We know Arteta doesn’t quite have the legs to fill in in certain games, so buying zero midfielders seems peril

  10. Keyser

    Flamini, Rosicky, Arteta, didn’t play that much.

    Ramsey, Ozil, Wilshere all spent time out.

    No Gnabry, Ox and Welbeck spent time injured.

    Podolski, Campbell, the chaos factor all on loan

    No World Cup.

  11. MadeToLoveMagic


    So are you saying we can’t ever sign a player entering his prime? surely its about balance? YOung and up coming and experienced..

    Vidal wouldnt cost that much anyway . I reckon he’d go for 25 mil. So not a HUGE risk

  12. Redtruth

    Steady as she goes will see Arsenal fighting for a top 4 finish.

    Wenger says Arsenal are only interested in signing top quality players so why does he buy mediocrity like Cech and Schneiderlin.

  13. Quagmire

    The best thing so far in this tw is that we aren’t linked with crap players……. so far. I see you Kalou. 🙂 Even agents of crap players can’t use the club to up their negotiations advantage with other clubs.

  14. Nasri's Mouth

    MTLM: So are you saying we can’t ever sign a player entering his prime?

    Vidal isn’t entering his prime though. He’s been in his prime for a few seasons now. It’s highly unlikely he’ll get any better.

  15. salparadisenyc

    Pretty convinced Wenger sticks with Coq… If you’d of told any of us that a year ago laughter would of followed.

    Game changing season for him.

    Radio Raheem always said he had it him. Your a bad man Radio!

    Point for me in a Javi type is that he does what Coq does but more, better on the ball can maraude foward and deputise at CB if needed, such a well rounded baller. Efficiency…. I dear I said it.

  16. Redtruth


    “Pretty convinced Wenger sticks with Coq… If you’d of told any of us that a year ago laughter would of followed.”

    That shows how ignorant you all are

  17. MadeToLoveMagic


    Yeah. I have to admit the more i ponder the CM/CDM/DM debate. The not sign anyone idea does have it’s appeal.

    I still think though for such reasons as cesc was advocating earlier, ie potential fitness lapses of Wilshere/ ramsey, plus the diaby shaped gap now in the squad I still think we could fit in a CM of some kind.

    You keep talking about a new signing adding something to the development of the team. Even just in terms of attitude, influence, energy, tackling and creativity, don’t you think vidal or another primarily defensively minded mid would increase the development of the team as a unit? as opposed to not signing anyone.

    Who are our main don’t move out of position Tacklers? Flamini? Coq? Struggling to think of anymore ( i don’t include Arteta in this as his legs were going even before taking nearly a year out, plus being a tactical defender not a physical one).

    Saying that the team, if all fit for a whole season the team as it is can compete for the title. If wenger wants increase his probabilities of a big success in his last two years then weather we decide to push for another WC addition to the squad impacts that.

    Imo a WC pure Dm or WC versatile CDM would drastically improve our odds of beating the bigger teams we face, weather that be in europe of the top 5 in the prem. I think for example against Chelsea or United we could have 2 Quality defensive inclined mids playing we would be far more dominant. Vidal gives us that quality plus being fantastic ball player and great going forward in games when we are more comfortable. Ive watched him a fair bit and i think he shows enough discipline to be effective in both roles

  18. MadeToLoveMagic


    Statistically only players who rely on their pace peak before 28.

    Vidal relies on his engine and tenacity yes but there is no reason why that should start to fade before 32 or 33.. To boot players in that position start to use their heads more as they age. Vidal I think is an intelligent player..

    Im not advocating spending 40 mil on him , i think 25 to 28 would be reasonable considering how much he would add in solidity to our game. That solidity to me is more important than more goals in the team

  19. Nasri's Mouth

    MTLM: Who are our main don’t move out of position Tacklers? Flamini? Coq?

    IMO, I’d keep Arteta ahead of Flamini.

  20. salparadisenyc

    Red may of contributed something worthwhile although it does contradict his previous post and throw him in with the rest of us “ignorants.”

    Vidal not coming, United perhaps.

  21. MadeToLoveMagic


    Arteta isn’t remotely as reliable fitness wise as flamini though……


    Whether we will actually sign Vidal or not was hardly the point of the exercise. It was more about what kind of player we need. Vidal was mainly just being used as an example of a type of player.

    As i said there are logical reasons to assume that vidal will be sold, so talking about it is hardly total hot air anyway

  22. Nasri's Mouth


    I’d rather not have Flamini at all though. I think with Arteta the issues he had last season were down to an underlying problem, which is why he had to have the operation.

    Of course, if that hasn’t cured the problem, then I’d rather not have either of them.

  23. Redtruth

    @MTLMI’d rather not have Flamini at all though. I think with Arteta the issues he had last season were down to an underlying problem, which is why he had to have the operation.Of course, if that hasn’t cured the problem, then I’d rather not have either of them.”

    Like i said, idle chatter

  24. SomeRandomGunner

    If Vidal is to be signed one or 2 of Wilshere/ Caz/Ramsey have to leave. Ramsey has a very good all round play , people may have forgotten his tackling numbers were very very good.

  25. Nasri's Mouth

    MTLM: Do you know how long he has been back in training?

    Dunno if this is rhetorical or not, but I get your point, hence why I said if he’s not going to be able to play, I’d rather lose both of them.

  26. MadeToLoveMagic


    haha no it was a straight question. I think he has been training for a while though as they reported we had a full team training for the first time in 10 years, and didnt hear of any breakdown after that. Don’t know if was even in any match day squads though

  27. Nasri's Mouth


    Ahh, no worries, he was in training for a while. No reports of any relapses, though that doesn’t mean too much I guess.
    There was a quote from him a while back where he basically said the contract was all done and dusted and he’d be signing it as long as he was happy that he could still perform.

  28. Keyser

    MTLM – Look at Sanchez, he’s basically replaced Podolski, that’s a quick seemless transition, it’s efficient, but at 35 million for us to compete with the teams above, he needs to work on his weaknesses.

    There’s is no direct position for Vidal, he’s also older and would cost a similar amount, plus he’s moving from Serie A to the Premiership, so I’d doubt your 32-33 year old Vidal running around with the same energy.

    I’d say Sanchez has answeredggggggggggggg

  29. Keyser

    I’d say Sanchez has answered all questions over any transition, and even if he loses his legs in a couple of years time he still has those two years to work ways around it.

    The way Cazorla has, fine if you think Vidals worth it, I don’t really mind, it’s more the idea people think there’s little risk attached or fail to realise the significance of his price.

  30. karim

    Albania 1/0 France

    That’s now 3 losses in 4 games aka how to lose the WC momentum…

    Alright, 1 more year of stupid friendlies, roll on 2016…

  31. Nasri's Mouth


    I don’t understand having multiple friendlies without a qualifier at the end of it, esp. at the end of a season, doesn’t really help anyone

  32. MidwestGun

    Eagle –
    What up? Jamaica isn’t as terrible as some think. They have improved a lot over the last 3 years or so. Very speedy side with lots of tall athletic pkayers. But ya, Uruguay just aren’t a top top side without him. Cavani being marked out of the match. Uruguay no fluidity to their play at all. Forlan retired, also. But on balance of what I’ve seen doubt they will threaten for the Cup title.

  33. WengerEagle


    Yeah have been impressed with Jamaica, they’ve done themselves proud so far today although the lack of quality is there to see.

    Uruguay have been woeful, only Lodeiro in CM has looked half decent, Cavani having yet another mare.

  34. Rustygunner

    Jackson Martinez failing the Arsenal entry test by availing himself to WHOEVER will take him away from Porto! Are we really interested? I doubt.

  35. MidwestGun

    Eagle –
    Ya. … Lodeiro played well when given space. Like the nickname “the onion” for Christian Rodriguez but he hasn’t done much. Supposedly, he makes people cry. Lol.

  36. Lee


    Look nasris mouth has a point
    There is no point wasting money on a central midfielder who does the same job as Ramsey or wilshire
    We already have 4 perfectly capable box to box midfielders and Vidal isn’t a defensive shield. He doesn’t possess te discipline and has a propensity like song, to venture forward thus leaving holes.
    Now don’t get me wrong coquelin is more than capable of plugging those holes (alone frequently) but we already have four midfielders who can do that. Why waste £30-40m?
    If Ramsey, jack or the ox can improve their positional reading them we already have the answers internally. Just like we did with le coq.
    Ramsey already proved in 13-14 he can be defensivley sound as his tackle/game ratio was the highest in the Orem for a midfielder before his injury and in the top 3 at the end of the season if I remember correctly.
    If we go for a midfielder I’d like to see a ready made def midfielder. Someone who can teach te other guys tactical and posttional discipline
    De Rossi would be great shouts

  37. Rustygunner

    Cavani is overated. He is no where near Suarez, or Diego Forlan. It seems his agent is anxious to flog him as quick as possible and for as high as possible on the back of other Uruguayans. PSG could be in the ruse as they also want to recover. Just like Monaco re Falcao.

  38. Lee


    Was well dissappointed with the end.
    I mean they run with a scientifically accurate type theme throughout and then just abandon any realism and turn it into a cartoon:
    I’m crushed
    Was such a JP fan as a kid.
    I’ve seen more carefully thought out cartoons

  39. roaaary

    A player like kondogbia could play at dm and also fill in for santis position if we ever have a raft of injuries.

    I think its essential to get 1 more body in for the dm role though

  40. Zeus

    Really surprised with Jamaica. Still in it at this point. Safe to say Uruguay will not be repeating Copa winner.

    Jamaica should be 2-1 up with that empty goal chance. 1-1 at least

  41. MidwestGun

    People are discounting Vidal too much if they think he can only play a btob or defensive mid. He would be good value for money because he can play every single midfield position including attacking mid and. Cam.
    He also has an incredible chemistry with our best player Sanchez. And Chile plays a similar style to Arsenal. Probably wouldn’t take him much time to adjust. And he is a vocal leader and has title winning experience and CL experience. Would be a great player for us.

    Not sure why people wouldn’t want a top notch player. By himself he wouldn’t be the magic bullet but he would make the team better.
    That said he will probably go to RM.
    The biggest drawback is he wouldn’t be available for a few months like Sanchez due to rest.

  42. MidwestGun

    Ggy –
    Ya…. 2 teams from Concacaf are invited so there are 12 teams. This time it’s Mexico and Jamaica . Not sure about dual nationality but lots of Jamaica’s players play in the Championship, Leeds, Reading, Derby and whatnot and a lot in the MLS.

  43. gunnergetyou

    Other than a new GK I can’t see much business being done this summer.

    A new DM could arrive, but it’s more likely to be a backup option to Coq rather than a replacement. Our only hope is that we continue to improve as a group. It also means we’re relying on players staying fit which hasn’t been successful in the past.

  44. gunnergetyou

    Cheers Midwest

    That’s real good news from a Jamaican POV. I haven’t seen them in action since the reggae boys back in the day. I seem to remember that team had quite a few British players at the time.

  45. MidwestGun

    Ggy –
    Ya.., I think it was Romford said they were the worst team he had ever seen in 2011 or so. Lol. But they have improved a lot since then I think because of better coaching and game time in better Leagues then a domestic league. That said they are still behind teams like Panama, Costa Rica, Honduras.

  46. gunnergetyou


    Yeah it makes sense. The league over there must be pretty much non existent. So it’s always a bit of a shock whenever they pop up in major tournament.

  47. MidwestGun

    Ggy –
    My understanding was other teams turned down invitation to play in Copa America. Altho, you know it’s Fifa so who knows? Jamaica did finish decently in last world Cup qualifier but realistically they are just msking up numbers. Like to see the underdogs play well tho, good showing today.

  48. gunnergetyou


    Seems strange that others would turn down invitations to play in such a big tournament, but yeah who knows with fifa. Especially with the likes of Jack Warner and Co.

  49. MidwestGun

    US supposedly turned it down because Mls is mid season and the Gold Cup Concacaf tournament is in July, so teams will have to turn around and play again next month. Mexico is playing a youth team basically. But I’m a little surprised Jamaica is playing.

  50. WengerEagle

    Identical to me Mid, got 4-0 correct score at 17/1.

    Would be icing on the cake, blew 30 quid on Uruguay earlier because of that silly wanker Stuani! 😀

  51. MidwestGun

    Lol ok Troll ya it’s just the bookies who think Argentina is better. I ve never seen somebody so excited about a draw in a group stage. Just think if they lose how much you can troll.

  52. Thank you and goodnight

    Love the fact Wenger is trying to take credit for Coquelin’s emergence. Ha ha ha. But for arteta and flamini’s injuries, le coq would of been sold by now.

  53. Rosicky@Arsenal

    My most sucessful period of Arsenal career was between 2007 to 2013 when i was fighting with billionaires.

    Arsene Wenger.
    This shows the character of this great man.

    While media and the trolls here criticise wenger for a 9 year trophy drought for all those barren years the great man himself believes that it was his most succesful period.

    What a contrast.

  54. Wallace

    Bamford calling someone an arrogant prick, london gunner accusing someone of acting like they’re ‘the font of all wisdom’…self-awareness takes a back seat once again on le grove.

  55. Emiratesstroller

    There is always a lot of criticism about Arsenal with negativity about a lot of players in our current squad. I include myself in that category.

    However, if we had got the balance of squad/team right from start of season with fewer injuries we might have won the league title this season. Here are the statistics of the second half of season to prove how we progressed and performed.

    Arsenal P19 W13 D3 L3 F37 A13 GD24 PTS42
    Chelsea P19 W12 D5 L2 F35 A14 GD21 PTS41
    Man City P19 W11 D3 L5 F42 A24 GD18 PTS36
    Man Utd P19 W10 D4 L5 F29 A18 GD21 PTS34
    Liverpool P19 W10 D4 L5 F26 A22 GD4 PTS34
    Spurs P19 W10 D3 L6 F34 A29 GD5 PTS33

    The lessons to be learned were:
    1. Defensively we were very solid in second half of season
    2.We lack still a cutting edge to our attack, which became apparent in latter
    stages of season when several of our opponents like Swansea and
    Sunderland packed everyone behind ball. There needs to be greater fluidity
    in attack.
    3. Arsenal maintained a stable team in second half of season with very few
    changes. Sometimes it is better to have a smaller but better but fitter squad.

  56. N5

    Jesus Rosicky, I’m not part of the Wenger out crew but if you can’t see why a man on 8million a year is saying that then you need your head tested.

    If that’s what he said then he’s just doing the slight of hand diverting that all managers do! “it wasn’t me that changed, it was them!”. Christ, get your head out of Wengers ass as you are just as bad as the ones you keep coming here to attack, in fact worse because at least they don’t keep going onto your favourite website to talk shit about you before running back to here!!

  57. Nasri's Mouth

    Wallace: Bamford calling someone an arrogant prick, london gunner accusing someone of acting like they’re ‘the font of all wisdom’…

    someone ? SOMEONE !!!!

    I’m just fecking SOMEONE now am I ?

    Jesus, I go out of my way to wind people up on here, and people can’t even remember my name!!!

    Wankers the lot of you!

  58. Thank you and goodnight

    @Nasri’s mouth

    (Putting arm up) erm…….Nasris mouth, can I be a CUNT as opposed to a wanker please? I think I’m definitely more of a CUNT than a wanker

  59. Nasri's Mouth


    I think one question you’d have to answer is whether we could have maintained that run over an entire season.

    Chelsea started off at a sprint, and ended up huffing and puffing and knackered.

    Had we had everyone fit, we too might have started better, but could we have maintained it right till the end? I think you also have to add in Mert and Ozil suffering from WC-itis, and the way Wenger was working out how to get the players to fit together on the pitch.
    I’d like to think that if we radically improve our fitness levels for next season, then we’d score considerably more points with the same players though

  60. N5

    NM, my issue isn’t with Wenger at all with what he says. I constantly big myself up during my end of year appraisals, who doesn’t. What gets on my nerves is those posters that are either lovers or haters that hang on to every word the man says to take snippets from to abuse each other with!!

    It’s so pathetic to idiolise/despise a man because he manages your club. It’s fine to admire or wish for better, but I really don’t see the difference between what posters like Rosicky post and posters like Peanuts!!

  61. Nasri's Mouth

    N5: I really don’t see the difference between what posters like Rosicky post and posters like Peanuts!!

    Both at the end of a Normal distribution curve, just opposite ends.

    I don’t agree with either. Only difference being I don’t bother reading the lovers posts, and I find the haters posts offensive.

  62. N5

    “I don’t agree with either. Only difference being I don’t bother reading the lovers posts, and I find the haters posts offensive.”

    I find them all offensive and I’m writing a stern letter to Pedro.

  63. Dream10

    Nasri & Emiratesstroller

    Agreed. Don’t think we could have maintained form for 30 matches. Also, would AW have stumbled upon a Coquelin-Cazorla partnership if Wilshere did not get injured? We had a below average record with Jack at the heart of the XI

  64. tunnygriffboy

    Assuming we will sign a DM

    Is it possible we have a list of targets. Assume Kondogbia is number 1 then Gundogan and Schneiderlin.

    Kondogbia is a wanted man and will have a number of teams chasing him, even Madrid apparently. He will have to think about things before he commits. Will we wait for this to happen and if he decides against us then move on to the next target

    This may take time so it’s possible we will have tohave patience.

  65. Nasri's Mouth


    Wenger doesn’t see Wilshere as a DM,(*) so I doubt he’d have considered using him and Ramsey in the middle. Coq coming in was down to Arteta and Flamini being injured, specifically Arteta being out long term I imagine.

    * He’s referred to him as someone who could play the deep lying playmaker role, but that’s not the same thing at all.

  66. tunnygriffboy


    To be fair to jack his games coincided with a lot of our players being out injured and our team being patched up

    Also we don’t know how our team would have fared over 30 games. It’s possible performance could have been maintained or dropped off.

    I do have a concerns with Giroud being played week after week. When he came back sfter Christmas he was sharp and a real handful to play against. His goal scoring was tremendous. However last 4/5 weeks of the season he looked knackered. He’s a big unit to be playing every game and he gets fatigued. We need to give him rest and keep him sharp. That way he remains really effective.

  67. Dream10


    If we bought a Schneiderlin or a Bender last summer, do you think we would have played a 4-1-4-1 like we did earlier in season?

  68. Dream10


    yep. Giroud has struggled in the last few weeks of season. He’s been shocking in France’s last two friendlies.

    Do you think we can compete for a PL title with Giroud and Sanchez as our top two scorers?

  69. Wallace

    “Do you think we can compete for a PL title with Giroud and Sanchez as our top two scorers?”

    i think Giroud, Sanchez & Walcott will score as many goals as any 3 players from Chelsea, City or Utd.

  70. Rosicky@Arsenal

    If you are not on the wenger out train and still thinks he is defending his lack of trophy during 2007 2013 by expressing his feelings you may have your own view of it. But for me this is what is correct and true.

    Wenger had been cash strapped during that stadium building prriod and he had done a commendable job by keeping Arsenal in the CL by spending bare minimum rather had to sell his top players who wanted to win silverware.

    Its a pity that people here constantly abuse me for defending wenger and writing abusing language for me.

    Anyways if you dont agree to my comments fair enough .I wont abuse you.

  71. N5

    Rosicky and I won’t abuse you, but I do think it’s a bit rich to keep saying how much you hate it on here yet you keep posting?

  72. Rosicky@Arsenal

    Tks but you abused me in your earlier post.

    What ia the problem if i dont agree with most of the bloggera here and express views in a decent language.

    May be some day you realise that my views were correct and you were a bit harsh on wenger.

    Time will tell.