This Arsenal April fools went too far…

by .

Not even funny

Not even funny

Sorry to interrupt your morning of pure April Fools bantz.

But we have things to talk about.

Arsenal. That’s what’s on the agenda.

But jeez, there’s no fricking news again!

Well, Santi has said he’s happy at Arsenal. So that’s good news. Well, kind of. I think it’d be good to replace him this summer. Move him on at the peak of his powers and bring in a younger model. Not that I’d be sad to see him go. I just don’t want to be in another Arteta like situation where we keep a player on for too long.

Be interesting to see what happens to Per this summer. Obviously a huge personality behind the scenes. He’s not having a great season, but you’d hope he stays on. I don’t know whether he’ll be first team next season. I’d imagine Gabriel and Kos will start owning the middle of defence.

Rumours on the inside forward type player have been nothing short of exquisite. Sterling, Reus or Dybala. That’s exciting. Any of those will do. I remember the days when those rumours would have been N’Zogbia, Hoilett and a Nik Bendtner position shift. How times change.

Petr Cech wants out of Chelsea.

“I don’t know what the club’s idea will be. It looks like it works well with me and Thibaut as a duo. But that can work for one season only. I don’t want another one like this.”

Word on the street is that they’ll let him go to Arsenal.  I think this would be a very strong signing and it’d put us in a very strong position defensively next season. Winner experience, a leader and a very good goalkeeper.

Wenger talks team selection

“I always have eight or nine players of my team in my head the day before the game, but there’s always a doubt on one or two,” the boss told the Arsenal Magazine.

“You try to make it as scientific as much as you can, but it’s intuitive as well because you have to think if the balance of the team is right or if one player was a bit better in the last training session.

“Has one player got a bit of a cold maybe? When two players are together in your mind, competing for one position, every single detail can go for one of them – experience, confidence under pressure – everything can make a difference.

“I always have a final chat with the medical people to make my mind up and make sure that everybody is alright. I do that on the morning of every game. Then I make my decision.

I like that there’s always a doubt. Good old Arsenal!

I have to say, I’m really enjoying the improved content on the Arsenal website of late. Feels like they’ve recruited some new people.

I’d love to see a bit more edge in some of the content. For the club to act like more of a magazine. Creating documentaries or mini series that focus on the more serious side. Maybe a step too far, but it’d be cool. I guess the balance is giving fans enough insight without giving away the secrets.

Right, that’s me done.

I’ve posted the below video. This is a great example of a piece of agency work that had this in the brief…

‘We want to have fun, but we don’t want to upset anyone. If the dimmest person on the internet wouldn’t get that it’s a joke, we’re not signing it off.’


383 Responses to “This Arsenal April fools went too far…”

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  1. Nasri's Mouth


    It’s a fine line isn’t it, and it’s impossible for us to know what the truth really is.

    Either he’s actually upset about the stories being made up about his wage demands, and what he wants is to play for a team with a better chance of winning things,


    He’s actually upset about the stories coming out about his wage demands and what he wants is to be seen as the good guy while securing himself a massive new deal.

    I honestly have no idea. I’m edging towards the former because his last deal wasn’t particularly money grabbing, but then maybe this one is a (over)reaction to that, so meh, who knows what his motivation is.

    Either way, it’s bad news for Liverpool which is a little funny I guess

  2. Dan Ahern

    Leeds — Why do you say cocky? I think he’s just being smart. By not signing a contract right now he stands to either earn much more money or play for a title contender. Or both.

  3. karim

    I didn’t know all of them so …
    Well done anyway, winning both the philosophy + footie quizz.
    Is Socrates your favourite Brazilian player lol ?

  4. Nasri's Mouth


    but it shows how important he currently is to them, and I guess IF it is all down to money why they should pay him more than any other player

  5. Nasri's Mouth

    A quick snapshot of reaction from Liverpool supporters on twitter isn’t favourable to Sterling

    Their club can do no wrong apparently

  6. mysticleaves

    Thank God for ur bro. Wish him Theo Walcott recovery

    Sorry to hear about your sis in laws father. Hopefully he’s enjoying everyday the most he can…

  7. MidwestGun

    Mystic –
    Thanks. I appreciate that…… ya thank God . he has a big family and is young. So really glad. He is just really sore and one ball short of a load. .. if you know what I’m saying. I can joke a little now. Lol. But was scary news.

  8. Cesc Appeal

    Who do we think will be the flavour of the summer then for Fadrid?

    Bale couple of summers ago, James last summer…push for Hazard? Can’t see Sterling really. Pogba?

  9. salparadisenyc

    Find this Spanish striker debate pretty comedic considering Spain have won 3 of the last 4 major tournaments. Looks like there into a rebuilding phase now, but that was always inevitable with such a talented generation. You could see it in the 2006 world cup, they were going to be a force. And they certainly were.

    Torres and Villa were magic, not many countries can boast such talented partnerships. Could play together or lead the line solo depending on Aragones or Del Bosques’s formation choice.

  10. Dan Ahern

    CA — Probably Pogba I guess? I think with Modric beginning to age he’d be their ideal. Then again they just spend €30.5m on a position they have covered.

  11. Ozy

    There wasn’t a Spanish striker debate. Like Eagle said, Spain are not known for producing top strikers.

    The World Cup and Euros winning side can be largely attributed to their incredible midfield and the style they played (the very height of tiki taka)

    To paint such a broad stroke that Spanish strikers are class because the Spain national team won those tournaments is to completely ignore how they won it and how they played. They beat Portugal 1-0. They beat Paraguay 1-0. They beat Germany 1-0. They beat the Netherlands 1-0. The German national team won the 2014 WC with only one recognized striker. The Germans have also had something of a striker drought these last few years.

    Wasn’t that Spanish team that won the world cup the least scoring side to win a World Cup in a very long time, if not ever? Villa and Torres were a good partnership and both players were very good in their prime but Spain is hardly known for producing great strikers. They’re known for their technically gifted midfielders. That’s the basis of the entire argument.

  12. Cesc Appeal


    They can keep their grubby mitts off of Cech, he’s ours!

    I think Pogba, shame though, would like to see him in the Premier League, obviously only if he were playing for us.

    Hummels, yeah good shout, though, I do think he’s a bit overrated, not sure if anyone would agree with that but…


    They are a weird side. They bought that Silva as well didn’t they to play central midfield? Still have Kroos and Modric, Isco as well…

    Madrid are like the 5th season on Fifa when you were a kid and your team is just epic and you end up buying people just for the sake of it because you’re bored. Do feel sometimes they need to focus on bringing through their own talent more to make the Madrid side feel more together, often feel that they are quite commercial and plastic, bit clinical, cold and faddy.

  13. Dan Ahern

    CA — I get the same feeling. I feel like they almost have the opposite problem of Arsenal in regards to how the club is run. Whereas we give AW a full dictatorship, their top execs seem to constantly be meddling without concern for what the manager wants or needs. The Galacticos policy produces some entertaining sides, but nowadays it’s almost more entertaining for how silly it can be.

  14. kwik fit

    valerie goonerSeptember 20, 2012 22:43:05

    Totally agree but can’t see Wenger biting if i’m honest, hope i’m wrong though.

  15. salparadisenyc


    Having a hard time seeing where Pogba fits into this squad with Isco on the bench. Khedira and Illaramendi are likely gone.

    Kroos Modric
    Bale Benz Cr7

    James is the one that makes no sense to me… A truimvirate of Modric Kroos and Pogba with that front three is pretty nasty stuff.

  16. Cesc Appeal


    Yeah I agree.

    They always seem to have to be for the top talent in Europe every single summer as well, and I don’t always think it’s conducive for a team like that to go on a progress.

    But yeah, their set up isn’t right, as you say it’s unhealthy in the opposite way to ours being unhealthy.

  17. Cesc Appeal


    Yeah that would be nasty stuff.

    A lot of what Madrid does doesn’t make sense I think. They sort of collect all this talent and then don’t seem to know what to do with it.

    You say Illaramendi, how much did he cost them, £30 Million was it? They’ve gone and bought that Silva kid now as well, you just look for the point behind what they do sometimes outside of ‘we’re Real Madrid we need to buy someone.’

  18. Cesc Appeal


    Yeah, after his display against Chelsea though I have a feeling Mourinho might go in for him this summer. Maybe sell Ramires and buy him.

    A Matic, Veratti base with Fabregas beyond them is a pretty nice centre.

  19. salparadisenyc

    Last thing we need is Modic, even though it would be so glorious in light of his previous club.

  20. Cesc Appeal

    Modric is 28 I think?

    But then we’d be back onto buying two CM’s, one CM (Modric) and then a CDM as well and selling Wilshere, or something along those lines anyway.

    Actually just thinking, maybe Chelsea would go in for Modric, be able to dictate play a bit more, takes a bit of the creative burden off of Fabregas and would probably partner up with Matic well.

    Matic, Modric
    Sterling, Fabregas, Hazard

    Pretty nice midfield I think.

  21. WengerEagle

    Modric is Real’s second most important player after Ronaldo but I’d argue that James has been a massive loss for them, he’s a top player and was one of their best players before his injury.

  22. Cesc Appeal

    “That’s what I’m saying, we should get him to irritate the crap out of Cesc Appeal’s family”

    I’m so much on board with this, get Bale and Lloris as well while we are at it!

    With all that money we have sat in the bank offer Spurs £50 Million a season in sponsorship money to name their new ground, Anal Fistula Stadium.

  23. Nasri's Mouth


    Walcott is not a no.10 or an AM….ever

    England’s midfield was really poor until Carrick came on

    Italy played well defensively and played deep

    And yet, you don’t think there are any extenuating circumstances as to why Walcott didn’t have a good game?

    Yeah, I called you out for being OTT.

    Get over it

  24. WengerEagle

    Real are bad enough when they’re winning trophies for spending more money on new players but when they are shown to be inferior to Barca/Atletico Madrid as they have been in 2015 all bets are off.

    If they fail to retain the Champions League I could easily see the great Ancelotti sacked which would be insane but this is Real we’re talking about.

    Danilo and Gaya will just be the start if they fail to win a trophy this season.

  25. salparadisenyc

    Kane is currently wearing a clock around his neck, wristwatch and texting big game as he rounds the Vauxhall green… about to ask poor Carts what time it is.

  26. salparadisenyc

    Illara Pogba
    Bale Modric CR7

    I’d go with that!

    With Isco, James and Kroos as options.


  27. WengerEagle


    Illaramendi over Kroos, really?

    I’d just move Modric back into Illara’s spot and play James as the CAM, alternate Bale and Isco depending on the opposition.

  28. Cesc Appeal

    Maybe Cash for Gold as well?

    Taking your most precious items, giving you quick cash for them for you to then spend on absolute shite.

  29. Cesc Appeal


    I just love the abundance of material that Spurs give you to play with in taking the piss out of them.

  30. Cesc Appeal

    Oooo, people are kicking off about this Sterling thing now! Saying he’s ‘quite flattered’ to be linked with Arsenal.

    Will he play on Saturday do you think?

  31. salparadisenyc


    Ya my best mate here is hard core Merseysider… whom luckily escaped at a relatively young age….. he’s pissed. Just text me : “Over Sterling doesn’t understand gravity of shirt.”


  32. Cesc Appeal


    Be nice if the Arsenal fans could get together in a wind up.

    ‘He’s one of our own, Raheem Sterling, he’s one of our own…Sterling is a gooner, Sterling is a gooner.’

    Alter the Sanchez song a bit, ‘he came to us from Merseyside Raheem, Raheem, he hates the scum from the Lane of shite Raheem, Raheem, he chose the guns of London town and turned the fucking scousers down, Raheem Sterling, forty million plus-a pound.’

  33. qna

    Bellerin Kosielny Gabriel Gaya

    Int: Ospina Debuchy Giroud Ramsey Oxlaide Coquelin Welbeck

    Sell/release: Schezeny, Gibbs, Walcott, Jenkinson, Podolski, Campbell, Arteta, Diaby, Flamini, Sonogo,

  34. Wallace

    imagine – a win on Saturday, followed by the Ox & Ozil jumping Sterling and pulling an Arsenal top over him. all three leave the field together laughing and joking….in the stands 48 Liverpool fans spontaneously combust.

  35. Wallace

    watching the Sterling interview again and Liverpool are going to be furious. all the questions about is he happy being stuck at right wing back, what does he think about them losing another world class player(Gerrard), the admission he would have signed a new deal last season…it comes across as a subtler, but still dynamite, version of RVPs infamous ‘letter to the fans’.

  36. Dark Hei

    Dybala – I don’t think we have put a bid for this boy. He is good. But he isn’t 40M euros.
    Sterling – Liverpool won’t be selling to us. Sterling is just taking the opportunity to ramp up interest.
    Reus – Injury prone and not in the best of form. Don’t think anyone will put in big $$ as he is too big a risk.

    Honestly if we do get anyone, it could well be another elite reject like Pedro.

  37. Dark Hei


    I think we will beat the current Liverpool. If they go all guns blazing like against United, we will just pick their 3-4-3 apart when they stretch their formation to hunt down the ball.

    Sterling is a nice talent. But under Rodgers, he seems very individualistic. He might struggle playing our team game, so I do not really fancy him. We have seen how Sanchez struggles when our team game becomes fluid and how he shines when the team fails to gell and depends on him.

  38. qna

    Had a look at Youtube of Gaya again today – I know, youtube… enough said… but he does look pretty good in his highlights package. At 19, he looks already mature.

    Would love us to buy him and sell Gibbs to City for a huge fee with HG premium. We could have Spain’s two first choice left and right full backs for the next 10 years.

    I would love to see us pair Debuchy and Gaya and Bellerin and Monreal. Alternate them for depending on the wide strengths of the opposition. We would have a dynamite exciting youngster on one side and a more experienced quality full back on the other.

  39. Emiratesstroller

    We keep on talking about ‘wish list’ of players that we would like to see come to Arsenal without any thought whether these are actually players who will improve our team or are actually affordable.

    Arsenal are building a decent squad although in certain positions we have an over supply of players available e.g. right wing whilst in others we appear to be short and in need of some improvement.

    The other consideration is that the club does not have a bottomless pit of money and it is highly unlikely that we are going to spend this summer more than £50-60 million on new players unless we are able to offload some existing
    players realising a sizeable transfer fee.

    Looking first at our squad there are three positions where we should be looking at improvement. These are:
    Defensive Midfield
    Left Wing.

    If we are buying the best players available in those positions it is highly probable that it will eat up all our likely budget.

    This brings me onto offloads. I think that it is highly likely that we will let go of
    all the players out on loan apart from Martinez and Akpom. They are surplus
    to requirements. The only other player I am minded to keep would be Jenkinson, because I have seen enough this season to believe that he would be an asset to squad.

    Other players who should be offloaded are Arteta,Flamini,Rosicky and Diaby
    either because of age, past their sell by date or because they are at end of contract.

    If we want to sell players to realise some transfer fees then Szczesny and Walcott would be prime candidates. Walcott has just 15 months left on current contract. My personal view is that he should be sold. Szczesny should be sold
    only if we are able to bring in a top class goalkeeper. There are at moment very few outstanding players available.

    Finally the only other question to ask is do we need or want Sterling? His main
    value is that he is undoubtedly one of the best young Home Grown players available in the market. However, is that justification for buying him?

    Sterling is not a prolific goalscorer and if you wanted to play him within our
    team the most likely position would be as a right wing. For the reasons suggested above for offloading Walcott this is one position where we are not short of talented players with Sanchez,Ox, Welbeck and Gnabry all able to
    play the position.

    If we bring him in then we might need to offload not just one but maybe two
    home grown players and I don’t think that would be a good idea. Frankly I see some mileage in both Ox and Gnabry. They are both very talented players.

  40. @snoekrats

    Yeah agree

    We have so many options

    even with OX and Welbz and Gnabry injured we still have walcott on the bench with Rosicky.

    So we will have to do some serious selling before buying

  41. Nasri's Mouth


    Seems so,

    was pretty definite about the fact we haven’t bid, and denied any interest

    But then dodged the equivalent question on Sterling.

    Seems a marked contrast between the two.

  42. Goondawg

    There’s another reason we should buy Sterling. We are categorically weakening one of our rivals. Liverpool remind me of how we used to be, getting absolutely bullied in the transfer market. Chatted to some scousers, they try putting on a brave face and saying “we have Jordan Ibe” LOL

  43. Goondawg

    Wenger and press conferences you have to take with a pinch of salt. I wouldn’t be surprised if the opposite was true, and it’s Dybala we looking at.

    Who can remember Wenger Saying “I don’t know this guy” mere hours before we bought him. Guys a master troll

  44. N5

    Cheers NM. He is the master of deception though so we’ll see. Sterling and Arsenal have been making eyes at each other, Walcott and Liverpool have been too, so it’s all very possible.

  45. Nasri's Mouth


    When he said that there was a cheeky grin that let you know something was up

    Added to that, the idea that Wenger didn’t know Cazorla was pretty unbelievable.