Arsenal vs Monaco preview. Favourite commentary moment?

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Morning pals, Alex here.

So last night Barcelona turned City over quite beautifully. I only saw the highlights but it seems they got taught a bit of a lesson in the first half. It’s strange when you consider the pedigree and experience of the City players and manager that they just can’t stop bottling it in the Champions League, especially considering how good they’ve been in the league. Is it a psychological thing? Is Kompany really as big a fraud as everyone says or is it just that Barcelona have Lionel Messi?

Speaking of Barcelona, as fantastic as they are, and as much as I love Messi, they are such a despicably dirty team it makes them so hard to watch. The play acting and diving and whining over every single challenge. Clichy should never have been sent off but this isn’t the first time Barca have had a ridiculously generous referee to help smooth things along for them. Cough cough FIX.

Tonight we welcome the sort-of-mighty-but-not-really Monaco to the Ems. They are missing six first team players including a couple of defenders. As their whole game is defined by defensive solidity (or so I read) then this is a boost for us. We have a near fully fit squad and a first 11 in fine form. We should be turning them over easily at home. The absolute key will be not to concede, which we tend to do, in order to give us an excellent chance in the away leg.

What would be your starting XI for tomorrow? Mine would be:

Szcz (come in from the cold smokey joe)
Chambers (unless El Bell is fit)

That’s a front five that would scare the piss out of any team. Ramsey and Jack on the bench, only because none of the starting XI deserve to be dropped based on recent performances.

Finally some feedback from the ‘who is the worst pundit/commentator’ competition. It seems Owen is pretty much rated the most diabolical for managing to be boring and infuriating at the same time. I was called out for not mentioning Robbie Savage but that’s just because I barely rate him as a person let alone a pundit. Some hate for Motson too which is surprising, I always found his commentary reassuring, like bovril on a cold day.

Shouts for favourite commentator, mine would have to be Martin Tyler simply for producing the two most memorable moments of arsenal-based commentary:

‘Adams put through by Bould. Would you believe it! That… sums it all up’


‘Arshaaaaaaavinnnnn!’ v Barcelona

Goosebumps every time. Do you have any bits of commentary which make you come over all gooey? (Stick to football please, let’s keep it clean). If so let me know below.

Anyway that’s me done. You can follow me on Twitter @aldo_doel

Have a lovely day x

P.S. Remember to tune in to Sky Sports at 1015 for the Invincibles Documentary… if you’re at the game, set that planner to record!

1,147 Responses to “Arsenal vs Monaco preview. Favourite commentary moment?”

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  1. Frank Mc

    What a load of shit that was, not too many plating Wenger’s sphincter on here…
    GuNZ u think I saw Daze with Prince Albert rolling a fat one as their third goal went in!
    Car crash football at its best, still we’ve got a lovely stadium….Wenger needs to do the right thing, enough is enough!

  2. peanuts&monkeys

    No sooner Sanchez stopped firing, Arsenal’s scoring and rhythm (even if there waas a little) went to dogs. All these started slightly before the spurs game.

    Last year Ramsey got injured and lost his form, then the Arsenal slide kicked off. This year its Alexis…no prizes for guessing where Arsenal is heading.

  3. Frank Mc

    Someone will try and massage some statistics about that dire performance the bottom line is Wenger can’t motivate the majority of these over paid cunts, football has moved on shame Wenger didn’t!

  4. Alan

    Hey frank mc, don’t you believe wenger s repetitive bollocks about spirit and character ? Maybe he watched that programme on his invincibles and forgot it was 10 years old. Dementia setting in , as it has ages ago with our decrepid and inept board . Fizsman has every right to turn in his grave . Gazidis should piss off back to his dad s kebab shop in Atlanta . Even his dad wouldn’t hire him to run that .

  5. peanuts&monkeys

    I am so glad that Berbatiov had his ounces of flesh from Wenger. Berb was offered as swap++ whn WickedWenger was gifting RvP to ManU. He refused thinking Giroud will be better than Berb. Today Berb made his statement on Arsenal. Fucking coool shit on wenger’s face.

  6. Leedsgunner

    Nope. It really did happen. We were humiliated by Monaco.

    It wasn’t a nightmare.

    Although as sure as day follows night, Wenger will be hoping we will forget all about it with the next win. Instead of learning from it and ensuring it never happens again… It does. Again and again.

    Funny that at pretty much at every milestone game lately Wenger has been humiliated.

    Time to go. Wenger. No more excuses.

    A new stadium doesn’t give you the right to a job for life or to hold the club hostage.

    We owe you nothing.

    You owe the club everything – have the decency to resign.

  7. peanuts&monkeys

    Arsenal fans, you are cowards that you keep up with Wicked coach’s shit for 19 years. You deserve every heartbreak. AKBs secretly rejoice and cherish such moments when in spite of Wenger’s failure Arsenal; cannot sack him. AKBs are actually a band of Arsene supporters; not Arsenal fans. I am quite sure if Arsene wenger doesn’t ever die and actually choses to coach another team, these AKBs will follow him there.

    How i wish Arsene is appointed the manager of ManU!!

  8. tunnygriffboy

    I blame Wenger for letting this happen again and again. Don’t believe he sent the message for everyone to hbomb forward leaving us exposed at the back. Worries me that he’s two soft as it happens too often. I would mske changes for Sunday

    I don’t blame him for Mertesacker diving in and not going for the man he should have followed. I don’t blame him for Giroud missing five good chances.

    nAt 2-1 I felt we had a chance of ovrr turning it. The third hoal killed us

  9. SpanishDave

    Leedsgunner nicely put spot on.
    Look at Mertsakers feeble attempt to catch up the player for the third goal.
    This will keep happening until Wenger goes, overpaid manager and overpaid average joes

  10. peanuts&monkeys


    “I don’t blame him for Giroud missing five good chances.”. Hell yes…u got to blame WickedWenger. Cud RvP/ Cavani or even Higuain missed all the five?????

    You got to blame the manager for having a championship level striker play for EPL and pretend he can score.

  11. tunnygriffboy

    That team if played anywhere near it’s potential beats Monaco. We just didn’t show up

    We need more power in midfield for these big games. We chased the game too much. Should have been ahead before they scored.

  12. Emiratesstroller

    The biggest problem with this team/squad is that they only play well when they are in their own comfort zone.

    The minute that an opposing team raises the tempo,closes them down and plays a counterattacking game we seem to disintegrate.

    Every player in Monaco team worked extremely hard in packs. More importantly they had ‘team leaders’ in defence and midfield. In latter Moutinho had
    an outstanding game.

    This is the quality of player that Arsenal needs to start buying. We devote too
    much time looking at technical quality of players and not enough on what they offer in physicality and mental strength.

    Moreover we need for once to be investing properly in the right sort of defenders needed. I have maintained this all season, because realistically there
    is no point in having a technically gifted team if all the work is undone by poor

  13. Wallace

    didn’t see the game, and a bit fearful of watching the highlights…sounds like i might have been wrong with my ‘ i have a feeling we’ll play well tonight’ feeling.

    also, london gunner & bamford really are unbearable at times.

  14. GuNZ

    It is now getting on for 9 pm here in NZ and I am getting fairly ruined. I have had many thoughts this day and have decided that if Wenger can do it, I can do it. I have contacted everyone I do business with and told them that when I turn up – IF I turn up – to do a job, I will give no gaurantee whatsoever about the quality of my work. I may send in some French cunt who will go nowhere near your problem but fuck all your female employees and make you feel like a sack of shit all day. I may send in this huge fuck off German guy I’ve got but he may not make the bus if he has to run for it. I may send in his mate, another, smaller German bloke who costs me a fucking fortune to employ and is never going to be a return for the wages I pay him. I may even, if I can, send in this bunch of blokes with no fingers, legs, or fucking heads, but I can’t gaurantee how long they’ll be able to spend on your site to get the job done before their bits fall off again. But I’ll guarantee you one thing. I’m going to charge you the fucking earth for it. And you know what? You can’t get out of the fucking contract because you signed up at fucking birth! Fuck, why was I born a fucking Gooner?

  15. tunnygriffboy


    just think manager and players need to look at themselves. I don’t believe the instruction eas to throw nine men forwatd with 40 minutes togo. SSomething is wrong . We lack leaders.

    Despite everyone saying we need to strengthen in midfield theu are surprised when two top quality midfieldets dominate ours. Santi can’t play deep against the physicaliy of nig teams

    After that performance wouldn’t be surprised to see a CB and a CF coming in the summer as well as the midfielders we need.

    Six clear chances, five fell to Giroud and there were 2 easy ones. At 2-1 we had a chance in the second leg

    Expect some changes on Sunday. GK and Per need to be dropped along with a couple of others. They need a kick up the arse

  16. Frank Mc

    Mertsacker, I’ve seen milk turn quicker than that German cunt!
    Bottom line is we can talk about adding player A or player B to the squad but with Wenger in charge it’ll make no difference…. his time is up!

  17. Frank Mc

    When the surgeon removes their heads from Arsene’s arse I’m sure we’ll all hear….. got a lovely stadium though!

  18. tunnygriffboy

    Frank mac

    Our defencevdoesn’t get exposed, we have a beast of a specimen and an experienced leader who would organise thimgs. We would be far more effective even with our manager. Priority to strengthen in the summer.

  19. GuNZ

    Frank Mc

    I read on a Whiskas Pet Food promotion site that 9 out of 10 cat owners think Giroud’s a cunt. Is that any good to you?

  20. Leedsgunner

    Monaco players looked that much better because we looked that more pathetic — the whole team was poor. In my opinion the worst game this season.

  21. Leedsgunner

    Put kondogbia and Moutinho in our midfield and we win that game…

    The point is even without them we should have won. To say otherwise is to make another excuse. It doesn’t matter who we buy… We had Cazorla Özil and Sanchez FFS! Wenger is the problem!

  22. Frank Mc

    The best strengthening we can do is fuck Wenger off and start again…
    GuNZ 10/10 where I’m sitting.. but they’ll be some wank Giroud statistic thrown back at us…. bottom line is he wouldn’t lead the line at a top club but people think he’s fine at Arsenal! How our expectations have been lowered…
    Lovely stadium though.

  23. GuNZ

    ‘Out thought and out fought yet again….’

    Far out, I like that! Some kind of zeugma, but not. Whatever it is, it’s fucking good.

  24. Thank you and goodnight

    @Frank Mc

    Ha ha ha ha. Every natural disaster from here on in can be explained away at the end with the line ” lovely stadium though”

    “Hurricane bob has displaced thousands of people in the filipines with millions of pounds worth of damage caused, but on the plus side the Emirates is a lovely stadium”

  25. GuNZ


    Arsene rarely turns up in body to Arsenal games. Several times I have caught him out lounging on a bar stool at the Raglan Hotel sipping Central Otago pinot noir. In fact, I can now reveal that he wasn’t at the game last night. I have the cunt spread-legged and strapped naked, face-forward to my study wall. I caught a sting ray this afternoon and I have coated its barb with ultra-concentrated habenero juice and positioned it strategically between Wenger’s legs. Every ten seconds I ask him the same question: ‘Arsene, are you a piss-taking cunt?’ Every time he denies it, I send a charge up the ray’s cock so that it whips its barb into Arsene’s dangling penis hole. I do not feel that I am taking things too far.

  26. Frank Mc

    If the “lovely stadium” doesn’t work throw the “qualified for the Champion’s League for the past trillion years!” in….. a competition we’ll never win with Wenger at the helm!

  27. Alan

    That was the most unprofessional performance you are ever likely to see.

    So number 1, Wenger failed to motivate his players and guard against complacency.

    Number 2, tactically Wenger was out-thought. Monaco’s problems at full back were clear for everyone to see. Yet, as Souness said at FT, our wide players made life easy on them.

    How Welbeck gets into this side of ahead of Walcott, I will never know. Walcott came on and his out to in movement caused them all sorts of problems.

    What is puzzling is how long it took for Wenger to change it and who he takes off. Walcott, Oxlade Chamberlain and to a lesser extent Rosicky should all have come on a lot earlier. Yet he takes off Giroud instead of Welbeck. Yes, Giroud missed chances but he was at least involved. All this did was destroy his confidence. Ozil remains on ahead of Cazorla despite being poor. Not as poor as Neville implied but poor nonetheless.

  28. tunnygriffboy


    if you read my earlier posts I saidvthat had the yeam played anywhere near their potential then we would win. We didn’t.

    My point re kondogbia and moutinho was that in the summer we need two playets of that quality and even with our manager our team becomes more effective.


    Six clear cut chances , five of which fell to Giroud. Two sitters. We just went gung ho at 1 nil down. We were creating chances and needed to be patient. 1 each would have been ok, even 2-1 I would have fancied our chances as we couldn’t play worse over there. No leadrship or game management

    would expect GK and Mertesackrr and Giroud to be on bench on weekend.

  29. Emiratesstroller

    Let’s be clear you cannot buy wholesale new players. There is going to be a budget this summer.

    You can increase the budget if you can sell some of our players. The question is which ones would you choose to offload and how much additional cash would it produce.

    Players like Flamini and Diaby [end of contract],Arteta and Rosicky would realise nothing.

    There are quite a few others on big salaries such a Podolski turning 30 who will also fetch very small transfer fees if any.

    One group of players which perhaps needs some culling are those with British
    Passports eg Gibbs,Ox,Ramsey,Wilshire,Walcott and Welbeck. Of these the only one whom I consider does have potential is Ox. The others are average but because of their British status should get a decent fee.

    Selling a couple of these would in my view be worth considering.

    However, the one issue above all else which does need to be addressed is the
    management and coaching structure of club. It is not just about the first team.
    It percolates through the whole system. Frankly we need new blood, ideas, but
    above all fresh impetus.

  30. Zementalstrength

    Tactical masterclass from Jardim last night, congratulations to Monaco!!

    Wenger unable to adapt his team tactically when we are in trouble.
    And unable to adapt his team when the oponent is so well organized.

    80% possession for Arsenal, but no one to score of course.
    Panic changes at 0-2 with Theo and Ox lol

    Oooooh Ohhhhh Ohhhhh to be a Gooner…

  31. GuNZ

    I’m going to bed. Had enough of today. One thing I haven’t said today through my fug of disgust at our boys is ‘Well played Monaco, you did your homework and dicked us.’ For a man who shares his epithet with a pierced cock I expect Prince Albert is not finding it hard to get laid at present.

    Night all.

  32. tunnygriffboy


    We all know where we need to strengthen in the summer but people are angry that when we come up against a top midfield we struggle.

    We created enough good chances to score at lesdt 3 goals last night but got too impatient towait for the goal. I”m sure throwing eeveryone forward was the instruction given to the players

    After that performance I wouldn’t be surprised that ad well as midfielders he may be looking at a CB and CF as well

    Schesser, Gabriel, Monreal, Wilshere all have to come in on Sunday

  33. Bamford10


    Right. I’m annoying, because I have a fucking clue.

    Keep being “baffled,” mate.

    What’s genuinely annoying is Arsenal’s perennial mediocrity — indeed, shabbiness — under Wenger, along with your ilk’s idiotic over-estimations of manager and squad.

  34. Ishola

    Claude is a big fan of Gibbs so he says. Ja ja ja ja,

    What a daft move by Wenger to drop Monreal and bring back Gibbs.

  35. Bamford10

    Wenger’s photo above cannot but remind me of an infamous troll — “Nameless” — who used to terrorize the ESPN boards years ago. This guy despised Wenger with a Highbury-Dazean fury, and he always referred to Wenger as “Big Bird”.

    I never fully understood that nickname for Wenger until I saw the photo above. So Big Bird.

    Here’s to you, Nameless.

  36. Wallace


    we bottle a huge game. it’s very fuckin’ disappointing. surely the last thing most Arsenal fans want is some clown skipping around afterwards shouting ‘I TOLD YOU SO!!’ at the top of his voice.

  37. shad


    We don’t play well not when we are pressed or matched tempo-for-tempo, but when we go a goal down. Then it becomes a headless chicken coop.
    Gash leadership on and off the pitch.

  38. MuddyGooner

    Any experienced manager would have prepared his team to keep calm in case they went a goal down. Making sure not to lose they’re head otherwise more damage could become irreparable.
    Well, our glorious leader did no such thing.
    It was panic stations, the moment we let in that deflected 1st goal. The desperate need to rectify the error.
    How many times have seen teams like Utd and Liverpool grind out a result after going a goal down ?
    I know its easier to say in hindsight but a 1-0 loss would not have been the end of the world. It’s a 180 min tie FSS !
    Thought we were back in it when the ox scored that lovely goal, only to fuck it up again moments later !!!
    This is not a one off. We do this season after season ! We all sensed a déjà vu.
    Last night’s game was a carbon copy of the Dortmund at home game, a while back.
    We went down 2-0, fought back to make it 2-1 and went on an all out attack for the equaliser, only to be shafted by Lewandowski at the death to lose 3-1.

    Wenger is NOT going to change and the same thing, I promise you, WILL happen again!

  39. El Patron

    So we’re blaming wenger for what exactly?

    – A ball deflecting off Per and wrong footing Ospina?
    – Giroud missing 3 point blank chances?
    – Theo missing a point blank chance?
    -Welbeck missing a point blank chance?
    – Kamikaze defending by an experienced BFC… wont tell u what the C stands for.
    – Kos not watching the runner?
    -Gibbs no where to be scene defending?
    – Oxlade giving a simple ball away?

    Last night night was the embodiment of Sods law.

    Only thing I can blame wenger for is buying those useless tramps and dont get me started on Ozil… I cant stand that man. Never have…never will

  40. Zementalstrength

    “Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah……etc…”

    Do you know what it is ??
    It is the Real Madrid’s financial director , who still laughing about the price we paid for Ozil.

  41. Jim Lahey

    What made last night tough was the fact that it wasn’t a Barca or a Bayern, sure Monaco are a good organised side, but they will be a walk over for any team that gets them in the quarters. Mind you so would we.

    What was going on last night? Mert and Kos were shocking, we would have been better off with Gab and Chambers!

    Giroud…… We could have had the Toff playing for us last night.

    What an awful display!

  42. Bamford10


    Please. What you should be annoyed with is the manager and squad that gave you that shambolic performance. And not for the first time.

    That I pointed out — once, by the way — that I had said yesterday AM that our central midfield would probably be overrun is really not what you should be annoyed with.

    As for that Skysports commentary, nothing there that posters here haven’t been saying for years. Years. The difference is, we don’t revert to praising Wenger in weeks where his team performs adequately or plays inferior opposition. We continue saying that he is a disaster.

    His apologists, along with apologists for Giroud, need to accept that they are wrong and that they have long been wrong.

  43. Zementalstrength

    “Yeah but we’ve got a lovely stadium.”

    And its always full!!
    Very surpsrising, considering the ratio ticket prices/team performances lol

  44. London gunner

    A few key takeaways

    Girouds true level was exposed

    Welbeck will never be clinical/prolific

    Ozil is a spineless lazy coward who will always let you down in big games

    Merts is the biggest liability

    Gibbs is not the answer to our left back woes

    Walcott seems to come back half the player he was

    Ox might have a dribble in him, but he has a donkey heavy touch which I was always saying

    Are central midfield needs quality additions, but I bet you any money Wenger relies on wikshere and Ramsey

  45. London gunner


    Instead of hating on me.

    Why not apologise for being so utterly wrong.

    I am sick of all the knee jerk fans giroud scores against boro and crystal palace and suddenly his a baller.

    I told you guys with your heads in the sand that he would fail us in the CL. What happened?