Worst pundits in the game, name them

by .


Hello it’s Alex here, it’s Saturday and I’m drunk. Well it’s actually Thursday night as I’m writing but you’re reading it on Saturday. Weird huh?

So I thought I’d better have my two cents on this racism nonsense. I mean let’s just get this out early doors – those Chelsea fans on the Paris metro, what a bunch of unbelievable pricks.

Chelsea are a despicable club generally, their captain is a ‘Grade A Dick’ and they have such a hateful manager that it makes my eyes cry vinegar. They’ve also had more than their fair share of unpleasant incidents involving fans. But let’s not pretend this type of arsehole behaviour is exclusive to them.

I’ve heard Arsenal fans at the Emirates do that hissing sound when we played Tottenham (as a Jew it is forever to my shame that I did not report them, but next time I will). I even heard some Middlesborough fans make similar comments before last Sunday’s game.

So what’s it all about? It isn’t just a football problem, it IS a societal one. But there’s something about the atmosphere of a football match that nurtures this kind of behaviour. That carriage on the Paris metro packed full of inebriated mammals was like a petri dish of ignorance, watch the idiocy multiply and swarm.

Rather than a love of football being the cause of this behaviour, the common denominator is a need to conform with the behaviour of the pack – a situation football fans, by their very essence, are forced into – and which makes men,who would never usually act like that in everyday life, behave like overgrown, racist toddlers.

How do you stop it? Absolutely ban them, name and shame them. But the most effective way to stamp out racist or homophobic behaviour is for fans themselves to have the balls to condemn it when they hear it because it has NO place in the modern game. Having said that I totally agree with Pedro. It’s all well and good preaching the Good Samaritan from the safety of a keyboard. When it’s you on your own in the stadium challenging 10 blokes who you’re still going to have to sit next to for the rest of the season it’s a different story.

In other news the great gig in the sky has dictated that Arsenal are to play United in the FA cup at 13 o’clock on the 59th of Fourcember. Don’t worry if you’re struggling with the journey home, the FA have arranged a rickety rope bridge back to London over a gorge full of radioactive, horny crocodiles. Who says the magic of cup is dead??

Today we face the mighty Crystal Palace. Thankfuckfully Sanogo should be ineligible or this could have been a real blood bath. I’m not sure of our starting line up but presume we are still without Arteta and Debuchy. It would be nice to see some key players rested with one eye on the Monaco game on Wednesday. Let’s hope we can pick up where we left off against Borough because that was a very good performance.

Finally a quick survey to lighten the mood. Who do you rate as the top 5 worst football pundits/commentators? My top 5 to start you off:

1) Clive Tyldesly – cliches so laboured they belong in siberia
2) Michael Owen – like watching paint dry
3) Andy Townsend – why does someone who was dogshit as a player think he has the right to tell me anything about football
4) Alan Shearer – I’m going to use crayons to explain the thing you have literally just seen with your eyes
5) Steve Mcmanaman – learn the rules of the game, get a hair cut and stop shopping at topman, you’re 40.

Let me know your thoughts!

You can follow me on Twitter @aldo_doel enjoy your Saturdays.

510 Responses to “Worst pundits in the game, name them”

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  1. karim


    Yeah, though Rosicky s experience, drive and vision would be a plus imo.

    Yep, most of the time they re slow as hell and lose the ball quite often so you get quickly frustrated. They have some talent though so let s be cautious as they usually step up on big nights.

  2. Cesc Appeal


    Yeah, should have tucked that one away without a doubt, you never feel safe though


    It would be nice to finish them off on Wednesday to be able to play people like Rosicky, Wilshere, Oxlade and Walcott in the return leg and rest some players

  3. karim

    Their 2 wins vs Leverkusen were 2 miracles with 1 shot on target when the Germans should have scored 4 in each game.

    This being said, I never thought they would survive their group stage let alone top it.

  4. MidwestGun

    Ooooooooospina. Not exactly building confidence, starting to miss punches and giving up rebounds. Every year with the Keeper situation….. gets old. I do like that he seems calm but now he gets hurt every match it seems too.

    I would like to see a back 4 of Bell, Gabriel, Kos, Gibbs at some point also to see how that works over a few matches. Maybe not CL.

    Everytime I see Monaco play it’s either 0-0 or 1 -0. Usually a snoozer.

  5. Goondawg

    Yh what’s up with that. Ospina always takes a knock on every single game I’ve seen him play. wasn’t he injured as well during the start of his time here?

    We sure know how to pick ’em

  6. Cesc Appeal

    Allegedly we’re interested in Leno, the Leverkusen keeper.

    No idea about him, but it seems we are shopping for a keeper.

  7. Goondawg

    Ronald Koeman has warned his #saintsfc players to think twice about leaving in the summer and cited the example of Calum Chambers at #afc

    Don’t like this at all. Hope Chambers uses this as fuel to ensure koeman eats his words. He will turn out to be top notch CB for us one day I’m sure. *gulp*

  8. karim

    Lol Mid

    Exciting ain t it ?
    Hope we help them end that run.

    Funny you mention him, I just saw him on tv concede a late goal by the opposite …keeper

  9. MidwestGun

    Leeds –
    Wasn’t really at fault per se. Was more of a scramble and some almost clearances. But he did rebound it. Also he came out and missed some punches. And on one freekick he basically never moved, luckily it was just wide. But was he unsighted? Anyhow, just not what I would call a solid performance from him.

  10. Relieable sauce

    Palace had 22 attempts on goal & 10 corners to our 1. Seems we were a bit lucky.
    Saying the foul on Welbeck was outside the box is petty though. Totally inconclusive even after replays (& some people are calling for a referal system!??) & the assistant ref gave the attacker the benefit of the doubt. Seen pens given for fouls further out than that.

  11. Relieable sauce

    Shiiit! Alexis looks like a piece of twisted rope.
    If I was as buffed as that I’d never buy another shirt again.

  12. Emiratesstroller

    Yesterday we were by all accounts a ‘little lucky’ in getting a result out of our game against Palace. Sometimes in sport you make your own luck to achieve success.

    However, my concern when watching Arsenal remains always the same and that is that the team shows its weakness whenever it plays in a ‘high intensity’ game against teams who pressurise us.

    Arsenal does have technically gifted players in its team and at the moment we
    we are not short of creativity, pace and goals.

    However, noone is going to tell me that our team is well equipped in defence.
    This is not just about ‘talent’ but rather organisation and discipline. Wenger
    and the coaches seem to neglect that side of the game and whenever the team come under pressure they seem to buckle.

    Yesterday we saw just such a situation with the back line not coping particularly well under pressure and there appeared to be elements of ‘panic’ towards
    the end of the game.

    In far too many games recently e.g. yesterday against Crystal Palace and previously against Leicester we were winning fairly comfortably 2-0 and then the
    team started to ‘shut down’ and performance declined in second half. On both
    occasions we conceded a goal and were then lucky to survive.

    Wenger’s solution is too often to aggravate the situation by bringing on more
    defenders as he did yesterday. That resulted in more pressure rather than alleviating it.

    As a side issue I don’t think after watching Chambers on many occasions this
    season that he is good enough to play full back in the first team. Our right back
    position in absence of Debuchy is ‘an achilles heel’ just like ‘defensive midfield’
    in absence of Coquelin.

    A lot of opposition teams seem to now focus on that weakness. Spurs certainly did.

  13. Wallace

    we weren’t able to kill the game off in the second half but i thought we were very resilient defensively. both full backs got a stern examination, but Mertesacker, Koscielny and Ospina were dealing with everything that came into the box. lots of pressure from Palace but hardly any clear cut chances. we got lucky with Murray’s header at the end, and Ospina defeinitelt got away with it, but it was a peach of a cross from Soares(?).

  14. peanuts&monkeys

    It was shambolic display of football by Arsenal yesterday. Possession and deliveries upward from 2nd Quarter towards up the middle was absent. As usual there was no right wing yesterday. Again, the absence of a central midfield enforcer and distributor was shamefully obvious. Wenger’s lack of ideas and arsenal’s lack of a leader on the ground was crying for attention from Arsenal’s board. Wenger OUT!!!

  15. Rosicky@Arsenal


    You are right that v look shaky in defence and conceed too often when sailing comfartably.we lost from winning position against spurs and Liverpool this season though both were away games and decent oppositions.

    but it can happen to even the meanest defences like last night chelsea did an Arsenal against minnows Burnley and at home too. SILLY enough. Wasnt it?

  16. useroz

    Reflecting on yesterday’s game …

    We took our chances albeit very few. Foul outside box? Reall? Marginal at best. Was Welbeck offside? C’mon. The pundits seem to forget Ozil was WELL onside when flagged in first 10 mins…

    Palace’s statslooked good with 20 shots, 10 corners, high % possession etc but lacked quality.

    Until Wenger mugged up our shape/ balance with late subs (all defenders) we were comfy dealing with Palace.

    Sanchez could have made it 3 (Ozil assist; Giroud could have passed to Ozil (then 1 on 1) instead of falling flat on the pitch, etc. We countered well but not good enough.

    Ozil should have played better; Cazorla could have kept the ball even better; Chambers should have blocked those crosses; Giroud should have been replaced last summer, …

    But we won. Looks like our new style of play away fr Emirates. Call it tactics whatever. If we won don’t care (Spuds derby loss aside).

    Other than Ramsey need an alternative to play with Coq behind Cazorla to shore things up more. We wouldn’t get away with stronger opponents with Ozil and Cazorla ahead of Coq. Not Wilshere though; not good.

    We should be able to beat Monaco. Giroud should feel ‘at home’ playing a French team….

    Btw, it seems strange we are getting so much transfer rumours at this stage though none sounded particularly appealing/ credible.

  17. Emiratesstroller

    I have compiled some very interesting statistics in last 10/20 games played by
    the top seven teams in ALL competitions.

    LAST 10 games
    Arsenal W8 D0 L2 F22 A8
    Chelsea W4 D5 L1 F15 A11
    Man C W4 D2 L2 F19 A13
    Man U W6 D2 L2 F18 A7
    South W5 D3 L2 F11 A8
    Spurs W5 D2 L3 F19 A14
    Liverpool W6 D3 L1 F13 A6

    LAST 20 Games
    Arsenal W15 D1 L4 F42 A19
    Chelsea W11 D6 L3 F37 A19
    Man City W13 D5 L2 F43 A20
    Man Utd W13 D5 L2 F36 A13
    South W9 D5 L6 F22 A15
    Spurs W10 D5 L5 F35 A22
    Liverpool W11 D7 L2 F29 A14

    What it shows is that we have won more games than anyone else and we do not do draws. On the other hand we have lost more games than anyone else
    apart from Spurs. We have also scored more goals than anyone else apart from City.

    Looking forward at remaining fixtures in EPL I think that we have on paper the
    easiest run in of teams competing for 3/4th places. We have only 3 games left
    against our main opposition with only game against Man Utd away.

    Spurs have also a relatively easy run in with similar number of games but two
    are away from home.

    Man Utd and Liverpool have got still 5 games each against top 7 ranked teams.

    My gut feeling is that Arsenal have a realistic chance of finishing in top 4 providing that we rotate properly our squad and do not suffer too many injuries.
    We have also played 2 less home games than away from home, which is at
    this stage of season an advantage.

  18. nasri's mouth

    Yesterday showed up Coqs limitations in his passing game. We struggled to get out when we had the ball. But defensively he did well. Ospina needs to be dropped. He’s had some experience of the PL, now he needs a breather, before he does a full Almunia in a game. Decent keeper, but he punches when he should catch, he has a habit of pushing balls back out into the danger area when he should be palming them round the sides of the goal, and yesterday’s charge out the box was scary.

  19. Wallace


    fascinating stats. shame we started the season so abysmally. 15 wins in the last 20 games is title challenging form.

  20. Emiratesstroller

    Three of our defeats were against Man Utd,Southampton and Spurs.

    However, I should also point out that we have still got a very tough fixture list for rest of season since we are still in EPL,CL and FAC. None of the other teams will
    have that commitment once League Cup is completed next weekend.

  21. Wallace

    lots of fixtures but lots of options now almost everyone is fit –


    that’s a handy and long bench.

  22. Emiratesstroller

    The one position which does need to be beefed up is RB. How many weeks is
    Debuchy still out? My concern is that many teams are targeting Chambers and
    Bellerin as the weak link in our team.

  23. El Tel 1

    Would rather Ospina all day long than Chesney. Seen some pictures of the Players after the game and Ospina is one of the lads.

    I have also noticed both Per and Kosser giving him support especially when he threw the ball out early the other week and we scored from it.

    Chesney for me is another Bendtner. So full of himself and a total ego.

    Ospina may not be exactly what we need but at the moment he is the best we have.

  24. El Tel 1

    Good comment from Motty last night during the match.

    He said Ospina always seems to be in the right place.

    This is probably the most important part of goalkeeping. Positional sense is key.

  25. nasri's mouth

    He’s played at LB (even though he’s right footed), so possibly, but playing CBs at full back takes away from our attacking game. Remember when we played TV5 at LB, even though he’s a pretty athletic player we suffered

  26. Wallace

    El Tel

    i also saw that Mert/Kos/Ospina pic. definite sense that they get on better with him than Szcz. don’t think it’s vital to get on with your colleagues, but it surely helps.

  27. SpanishDave

    Steve Bould is on the bench to take the money and is Wengers lacky. He will hang around until Wenger goes, god help us if he vecomes the next manager.
    I wonder if Henry fancies his chances as manager when Wonga goes.

  28. Marc

    Wow Mourinho’s on Goals on Sunday, now I know a lot of managers like to create at siege mentality but this guys paranoia is off the scale.

  29. Al

    Mourinhos performance on GOS Is embarrassing. I hope he gets fined and ridiculed for his performance because the platform he has been giving to try influence future Refs in his matches is ridiculous.

    Hopefully the referees get together and screw Chelsea out the Title and Cup

  30. Wallace

    worst –

    1 – Michael Owen
    2 – Michael Owen
    3 – Garth Crooks

    best –

    1 – Gary Neville
    2 – Andy Gray
    3 – Lee Dixon

  31. karim


    Sorry for the morning reply. He’s worth the hype in that he plays well every week and for a first season, that s quite telling imo.
    Is he up to Arsenal expectations already ? Don’t know, might be wiser to wait another year or two but his value may rise in the meantime and it may be too late for us.
    Worth the gamble imo.

  32. Cesc Appeal

    Think Arseblog makes a good point today, lots of people bash Welbeck for his low numbers.

    But look yesterday, first goal was his harrying of their LB, stealing the ball getting past his man and drawing a penalty.

    Second goal was a poke in for Giroud but only because of Welbeck’s surge into the box, clever movement, good strike, keepers has to parry it away where Giroud is waiting.

    Won’t get credit stat wise for either.

    I really like Welbeck. Tall, athletic player, loads of pace, when he turns a surge on its beautiful to behold (ask Danny Rose) and he is a team player as well, committed to defending and tracking back.

    I think he must be our tough away day, big game wide man now. Gets a lot of flak does Welbeck, but I think what he brings is extremely valuable.

  33. kwik fit

    Disappointed that Kammy and Shepard didn’t give Mourinho a harder time on Goals on Sunday. Mourinho says that his team should be at least 7 points better of and have on received one dodgy decision this year. Both Kammy and Shepard were petrified to argue against him.

  34. Cesc Appeal


    I do agree about the TV refs though, football needs to catch up with its officiating.

    3 video refs, always watching, majority decision on things. Still won’t ensure ever perfect decisions, but they will be able to spot a dive/handball/offside goal etc a lot better than officials who only have that split second.

    I would take a 30 second-1 minute break in play if it meant a Van Der Vaart handball in the box to bring the ball down and give Spurs the lead against Arsenal was ruled out rightfully.

    Or Bale diving over Schez to land Spurs a penalty after Saha had opened the scoring for them was quite rightfully ruled a Tom Daley.

    Wouldn’t mind 10 minute sin bins as well for diving and persistent fouling, save red cards for the most serious incidences of reckless challenges, fighting etc

  35. kwik fit


    Absolutely we must move with the times but Mourinho is so blinkered it make’s one sick. Just wish Kammy had the balls to tell him how it really is but I suppose he just doesn’t want to rock the boat..

  36. WengerEagle

    Best pundits:

    1) Eamo ’16 pints’ Dunphy by a country mile.
    2) Ronnie Whelan/Graeme Souness
    3) Didi Hamann
    4) Wrighty
    5) Gary Neville (don’t like his nasally girly voice though)

    Worst pundits:

    2) Tony Cascarino
    3) Kenny Cunningham
    4) Niall Quinn
    5) David James/Robbie Savage/Leroy Rosenior/Garth Crooks(he is hilarious though)/Martin Keown/Steve Mcmanaman

    Best commentators:

    1) ANDY GRAY
    2) Jim Beglin
    3) Ray Houghton
    4) Jonathan Pearce
    5) Ray Hudson for the similes and entertainment value

    Worst commentators:

    1) Michael Owen again by a country mile. Would turn the sanest man into a killer given enough time listening to his ramblings.
    2) Phil Neville- again just awful. Feel for his wife having to listen to that boring twat day in day out.
    3) Lawro- Haha just mind numbingly dull but slightly funny as he doesn’t even try to make an effort.
    4) Andy Townsend- A dangerous combination of clueless, boring and biased all in one horrific package. Still remember him screaming out ‘get in’ when Marseille nearly scored at the Emirates last season.
    5) Martin Tyler- Have never liked him tbh, he doesn’t get as excited as he ought to which kills the buzz a bit, when City won the title in the last second he barely mustered up a scream, if it were Jonathan Pearce or Andy Gray they would have blown the roof off of the stadium.

  37. Cesc Appeal


    Oh of course, yeah he does love a good long moan.

    I think it’s all psychological, might force the next referee to think ‘I don’t want him to moan about me, to be in all the papers as being crap’ etc