I hate Man Utd

by .

Hi all, Alex here back again for a second day running.

So it happened. A draw with the bastards of bastardry. Anyone who has followed Arsenal these last 15 years will know that Chelsea, Tottenham and Stoke are an irrelevance when it comes to football rivalry. Man Utd are the real enemy.

So many years of pain playing them when they were, frankly too good. The abiding memory was the defeat to end our unbeaten run or as it’s also known ‘the most rigged game in the history of the premier league’. It finished Reyes’s career with us, triggered the start of Arsenal’s ‘top 4 years’ and ensured Mike Riley – to this day – still gets called a wanker by any Arsenal fan that sees his stupid gimpy face. How he was ever allowed to referee again after that game is a conspiracy mystery.

Much like that game, United needed dodgy refereeing decisions and a blatant Rooney dive to win last night. Except this time they were playing Preston North End. An indicator of how far they have fallen despite the talent in their squad.

However to say we have a hoodoo against them would be a massive understatement. In the last two seasons when they have been nothing less than absolute pony, we have still failed to rack up a win or even a half decent performance. This is a failure I lay at Arsene’s door and is one of the main reasons why I don’t think he can cut it at the top anymore.

For years Fergie knew the gameplan to beat Arsenal. Sit back, let them prance around for a bit then destroy them on the counter. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. It’s what led to our humiliation in the Champions League semi final in 2008. And it was so ingrained in the United players’ psyches that even after the red nosed one left, they were still able to put it into effect with startling ease.

The fact Arsene never thought or wanted to counteract this tactic is one of his biggest failings and is why we have consistently failed to win against big teams.

This season might be different however. We have beaten City away, using a different, smarter gameplan. We have the best squad we have had in 10 years littered with match winning superstars. This could be our year.

So let’s look forward to this cup tie and imagine that we are finally going to overcome our United hoodoo and best them at Old Trafford. We will see Robin get subbed off on 55 mins, Wayne crying into Rafael’s shoulder and Rio Ferdinand tweet some utter pish about baseball caps for men going through midlife crises.

I have seen the promised land. And Darren Fletcher doesn’t live there.

You can follow me on Twitter @aldo_doel

339 Responses to “I hate Man Utd”

Jump to comment form ↓

  1. Leedsgunner

    Northern G

    Keep going, it’s the consistency that will bring you long term gains. I’ve been going for three years now 3x a week and honestly I feel great — 20 years younger!

  2. Cesc Appeal


    Interesting. If he can be adaptable he certainly fits the Wenger billing by the sounds of him.

    Priority is that CDM in the summer first, glad to hear we’re looking at GK’s as well. I’m hoping Paulista turns into a great CB for us over the course of the rest of the season, we certainly need an upgrade on Mert otherwise.

  3. Leedsgunner

    Unless Giroud or Welbeck gets sold I cannot see another striker being brought in; especially with our midfielders full of goals.

    Our priority in the summer has to be the rebuilding our midfield. A powerhouse DM and an all action CM has to be our focus. Arteta and Flamini has to replaced per haste…

  4. Cesc Appeal



    Forgot how much I like Matuidi, such an athlete in that midfield.

    Schneiderlin, Matuidi
    Oxlade, Ozil, Sanchez

    That’s nice I think. Not so much Ozil, but the rest make that an all action midfield.

  5. MidwestGun

    Cesc –
    Ya… a cdm, btb, cf/striker, keeper. This summer would be good business. Get 2 starters. Need to progress because you know if City don’t catch Chelsea and Man. U keep with there current level of subpar play they won’t stand still.

  6. Cesc Appeal


    For sure, but no doubt we will persist with what we have and it will be the all too familiar story of ‘if only…’


    Yeah he was, I was calling for us to make a move last year when his contract was close to expiry. Love Matuidi, just a great all round player. He’s only 5ft 9 apparently, but he looks so much bigger on TV

  7. Cesc Appeal

    That Mars One mission, crazy stuff. They had a couple of the British applicants who have made the last 100 on the news a minute ago…brave. Estimated they will live 68 days IF they survive the seven month trip and landing.

    Got to have some stones. Whatever way you slice it it’s a one way trip, not sure I could do that.

  8. salparadisenyc

    I wouldn’t say ‘mental ‘ options should Dybala come.

    We’d have options, which is a nice change from last season and Giroud being our sole CF. Dybala’s having a good season in a sub-par Serie A, if you look at the numbers he’s highly untested. I’ve watched Palermo twice this season and he scored in each with a pretty Eduardo esque left foot.

    Watching Cavani tonight… that dude’s could be immense played solely through the middle. Zlatan, Cavani and Lavezzi. Mental options.

  9. Cesc Appeal


    Being an unimaginable distant from home, cold, desolate planet, the slightest malfunction, death, run out supplies, death, get ill, death, run out of oxygen, death, Martians get pissed off, death.

    You have to be so committed.

  10. Cesc Appeal

    Right, compared to Eduardo, in love with him now.

    One of my favourite players of the shit Wenger era. Such a shame his career was ruined by a complete oaf…but of course a non malicious oaf.

  11. tunnygriffboy


    You bloody miserable pedant 🙂 🙂 🙂

    Last season we had Giroud and an injured Walcott and Ox. This season we have a fit Theo, Ox, Welbeck, Sanchez as well as Giroud. Ok I agree compared to Zlatan and Cavani they not that mental but for us considering the limited options we’ve had over last few seasons it is bloody mental 🙂 🙂 🙂

  12. MidwestGun

    Cesc –
    Actually it Sounds a lot like my last marriage, only instead of death, I just wanted to kill myself. So ya.. I’m way short on the commitment front.

    But in my mind I have the vision of a Star Trek like space colony with hot green babes everywhere.

  13. salparadisenyc

    I know Tunny i’m being an utter slag, fully agreed having options key.

    But with our high octane combo of Sanchez, Ozil, Caz I can only imagine what a truly WC striker would do atm.

  14. Cesc Appeal


    Your too late! For Mars anyway.

    Personally I’m holding out for the mission to Uranus. Mainly to see how many puns I can come up with with the daily mission updates.

    Finally get to mission update 17/3/2056 and the bloke back on Earth goes “AH HA!!! You used that one 4/3/2037.”

    “Dammit!!!. Well, at least having spent £50 Billion we all learned something, there are roughly 20 years worth of daily Uranus puns…”

  15. MidwestGun

    Sal –
    On your application just put Golden God.

    Cesc –
    Just think of the sympathy sex before you leave too. That’s right ladies I’m about to go on a dangerous death mission to Uranus. 😀

  16. Cesc Appeal


    Haha! “No, no Mars One people you don’t understand, my missus is doing my fucking nut, need some distance, some like, intergalactic distance.”


    Can I not use that line and then NOT go on a space suicide mission…or is it a package thing? In which case the male trait to think with your ball bag is probably going to land me in shit, deep in Uranus…I will get my coat

  17. Wallace

    Dietmar Hamann reckons Lewandowski might be gettable –

    “I think the same goes for Lewandowski because the way the team plays under Guardiola I don’t think it suits him.

    “He was tailor-made for Dortmund and I think he’s tailor-made for two or three English teams where he can play on the counter attack on big pitches where he can run in behind.

    He needs to be involved in the game. In Bayern Munich he simply doesn’t get enough balls with the way they play. You need a poacher in Bayern Munich, somebody who scores his goals in the box, rather than a Lewandowski who does everything.

    “I can only imagine his head is not in the right place at the moment because if you go to Shakhtar in a knockout game he’s the only recognised striker in the team and you sit on the bench,”

  18. Leedsgunner

    “Being an unimaginable distant from home, cold, desolate planet, the slightest malfunction, death, run out supplies, death, get ill, death, run out of oxygen, death, Martians get pissed off, death.”

    A pretty accurate description of Old Trafford if there ever was one 😉

  19. Adam Hamdani

    Haha, really good/funny article. I think if we go into this game with a fit squad and pacey players in form, then it’s a winnable game. Manchester United’s frail defence won’t be able to handle players like the Ox, Walcott, Sanchez & Welbeck once they get running at them. Of course, not all 4 can play at the same time, but if we go there with the right mindset, not ‘it’s United away, impossible task’ then we can get something.

    Like for like, our team is better in majority of positions on the pitch. Coquelin sitting with a fit Ramsey/Wilshere in the box to box role will allow freedom for our more attacking players.

    A winnable game, if Wenger is clever about the approach.

  20. gambon

    “One of my favourite players of the shit Wenger era. Such a shame his career was ruined by a complete oaf…but of course a non malicious oaf.”

    Eduardo is possibly the most overrated player in PL history.

  21. Alfie

    “Eduardo is possibly the most overrated player in PL history”

    Hardly. I don’t think he is rated that highly, just gets a warm reception because of the leg break.

    No one ever pulls out his stats or memories of clinical finishes.

  22. Nasri's Mouth

    Alfie: Hardly. I don’t think he is rated that highly, just gets a warm reception because of the leg break.

    Exactly. There might some viewing through red and white tinted glasses, but no-one has suggested he was the next Messi

  23. peanuts&monkeys

    Rocking post, Alex. Simply incredible. ManU IS the real enemy. Not bein g able to better ManU even when they are grovelling is the biggest shame for Arsenal fans. The blame for this shame lies on WengerBastard.

    And, to think of it, he sold our best player to our bitterest rivals….??? Absolute treachery!