Arsenal 2-0 Middlesborough. Carzözilanchez roasts the Teessiders

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via Instagram @Arsenal

You da best bae

Morning all happy Mondays!! It’s Alex here, blogging to you from the Northern line. The horrible, claustrophobic Northern line.

So I was promised – through a friend of a friend – a seat in the diamond club for yesterday’s game. All week I had been prepping myself for it; conserving my appetite for oysters and gold plated hotdogs, dreaming up witty anecdotes that I would regale to Bobby and Thierry over our vienettas, and relentlessly practicing my smug face for when I took AN ACTUAL ESCALATOR to my seat.

So imagine my horror when I arrived at l’Emirates to discover that rather than the Director’s box, I would be in the away end with a thousand tanked-up Geordies (are they Geordies or Macam or Teesidees?)

To say I was nervous was a slight understatement, especially when I went to use the toilet and found every one of the sinks being used as a urinal. Who would have thought football fans could behave in such a boorish way?

Sitting in the away end did give me a different perspective on the game however. The Borough fans, who were all actually really nice and good fun, REALLY rate Alexis. All their chants are pretty much identical to ours (apparently we aren’t the only fans who think we have by far the greatest team in the world).

However what else I realised is how totally and utterly dominant Arsenal were. You have to feel sorry for Borough. They are a good team, but their current league position means they have no way near the resources to deal with a threat as potent as Alexis, Cazorla and Ozil.

Those guys were on another planet yesterday, almost unplayable. Apparently Ozil created 7 goal scoring chances. Meanwhile Alexis just didn’t stop running and Santi ran the show – his pass to Gibbs for the first goal was something else. In fact the movement from the whole team for that goal was pretty f***ing spectacular.

I like that there is talk of Santi getting player of the year. After a strong debut season he kind of faded away last year and there was even talk of selling him by controversial bloggers like Le Grove. It’s great that he’s now showing exactly how good he is and how wrong Le Grove was. God I hate Le Grove.

Other honourable mentions go to Olivier – who did what a striker needs to do – get in the right place and put the ball in the net. The second finish in particular, was not as easy as he made it look. I do love Oli. He prances around a lot and is quite slow but there’s something very honest about the way he plays. He’s like a friendly shire horse. Or the big gangly kid in your school team who looks rubbish but always ends up top scorer without anyone knowing how or why.

Despite bringing the handsome quotient of our team down quite hard, Gabriel looked very assured, even his booking was probably the smart move. He also slotted in well alongside Kos which is great for the run in.

Dishonourable mention goes to Flamini. I didn’t really get what everyone’s beef was with him, but after watching Coquelin’s recent performance you realise he is NEVER where he needs to be. That’s usually because he is pointing at others telling them where they need to be. It’s great to have a leader on the pitch and all that but you have to kind of lead by example as well. Just pointing at where others should be running rather than running yourself is the ultimate pub footballer move.

FA Cup gonna mess you up
Anyway onwards and upwards. Though I did say earlier you have to feel for Borough, it’s worth remembering they did knock out City in the last round so the fact we roasted them like a Bolivian peanut is nothing to be sniffed at. This feels like our year again (for the Cup). Let’s hope Liverpool and United draw each other in the next round and they both lose.

Player Ratings

Szcz – 7 – played fine, didnt have much to do

Chambers – 7 – defensively solid and made some great runs forward

Gibbs – 7.5 – likewise but created a goal

Kos – 7 – solid

Paul -7 – likewise

Flam – 5 – chill with the pointing fam

Cazorla – 9 – Holly Willoughby

Ozil – 8 – I love you

Alexis – 8 – Dont ever leave

Welbz – 7 – Loves to run

Giroud – 8.5 – Loves to score

Walcott – 7 – had a great opportunity (his reception of the ball WAS world class), but scuffed the finish

Rosicky – 7 – worked his nuts off as usual

Chuba – 6 – fine

That’s your lot from me. Follow me at @aldo_doel

Love you x

621 Responses to “Arsenal 2-0 Middlesborough. Carzözilanchez roasts the Teessiders”

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  1. Emiratesstroller

    For the record we played against them in the home fixture a fairly weak team.

    Szczesny, Chambers, Mertesacker,Monreal [at cb],Gibbs, Arteta,Wilshire,Ramsey,Ox,Sanchez,Welbeck.

    Missing were Koscielny, Cazorla,Ozil and Giroud.

  2. Wallace

    we have to beat them again at some point. many of our current players have never experienced playing against a good Utd side, so hopefully that’ll help. if we can go there in good form and with something close to a first choice 11 it’d be pretty disappointing if they did beat us.

  3. Shaun Wilson

    The Manchester United game result will be down to which team turns up at Old Trafford – the one against Manchester City or the one against Tottenham. Could anyone predict which will be the one?

  4. tunnygriffboy

    Man u have been playing with a stutter this season. They’ve won a few games recently but to be honest they’ve had some winnable fixtyres over the last 6 weeks. The most difficult games have been Stoke and West Ham which they’ve drawn. Their next 3 fixtures are Swansea (a), Sunderland (h), Newcastle (a).

    The run of fixtures after that will define their season. Arsenal (h. Fa cup), Tottenham (h) Liverpool (a), City (h), Villa (h), Chelsea (a), Everton (a).
    That’s a tough run of fixtures. We need to be close to them when that run starts.

  5. tunnygriffboy


    Not only were we missing Kosceilny, Santi, Ozil, Giroud, you can also add Coquelin and Bellerin.

    Re the Qpr game if we get Ox and Wilshere back we have enough options to rotate the team and put out a team that can beat Qpr. Ramsey may be back as well. Man u have Newcastle away the day we play Qpr.

    If Van Gaal decides to play Rvp, Falcao and Fellaini up front with Rooney in midfield we could play Gabriel and really squeeze and press them. Those front forwards won’t run in behind Paulista, Kos and Bellerin.

  6. Wallace

    they’ve got two outfield players – Rooney, who is slowly on the way down, and Di Maria. the rest are either average or in decline. how can you spend 220m and still have such a threadbare squad?

  7. Emiratesstroller


    What will be key to our results is player management. We are playing Everton [H],QPR [A] and Man Utd [A] all in the space of a week.

    None of these games is likely to be easy. Let us hope that we will have a complete squad apart from Debuchy match fit, because we will need them.

    Several posters highlight our results against Man Utd, but most of these were
    against a significantly better team than we are likely to play. They are no longer the physical side that we used to play and Rooney and Van Persie are in
    my view now in decline and I have seen absolutely nothing in Falcao which suggests that he is a game winner.

    We beat Man City recently and they had also a good record against us. On paper we are more than capable of beating Man Utd but whether we do so will be down to how we play on day.

  8. tunnygriffboy


    As I say they’ve had a good run of fixtures against a lot of the bottom sides bar Newcastle who they beat 3-1 at home. They drew Stoke and West Ham away. Their fixtures in March and April are like the block we had last season

    We should have beaten them as should Southampton in Southampton. Burnley had a load of chances last week but somehow they keep winning. Surely it can’t keep happening. It is though the most expensive team ever assembled.

  9. tunnygriffboy


    Player rotation will be vital. We play Everton after they play a Europa league game. Some players will probably have to play in all of them but with Giroud, Welbeck, Sanchez, Ox, Theo we have options. With Santi, Jack, Ozil, Rosicky and Ramsey we can rotate in midfield and we have Coquelin and Flamini. The defence that played Sunday is , bar Kos our second choice. If we’re clever we can rotate sensibly and give most players one game off.

  10. vicky

    It would be fitting for a potential FA cup winner to beat the big teams on the way to lifting the trophy. Last year, we beat 3 top sides. This year If we were to win it, we would be beating ,at most, 2 top sides : United and Liverpool. So, I am not at all disappointed by the draw.

    Surely , a Liverpool vs United showdown in the QF would have been the best proposition for us but we should win against this United side. They have been pathetic this season , although they have managed to win most of their games due to sheer luck.

  11. ArseneWonga

    With Wenger in charge i do not hold out any hope of winning at OT
    The City game was a blip …look at the Spurs game as a bench mark

    With Wenger in charge NO trophies will be won ever again

    Wenger out!

  12. tunnygriffboy


    Surely the luck has to change for them. Degea has kept them in numerous matches this season. I still have nightmares about that Wilshere miss. Emirates posted our side that played that day. If you take our current eleven we had 7 players missing from that match

    Welbeck said that the plan v Middlesbrough was to press them and win the ball high up the pitch. It’s something we can now do if we’re prepared to play Gabriel. Pace is not one of man u strength this season.

  13. vicky


    I hope we have Ozil, Cazorla , Sanchez,OX and Rosicky all fit for the United game . I think we need all five of them making telling contribution. Would not want to see Jack in there, at least not starting the game.

    Le Coq———– Cazorla

  14. Emiratesstroller

    We are in a much better situation than when we last played Man Utd. We don’t have to play now Debuchy or Monreal as a CB.

    Coquelin on current form is a significantly better DMF than either Arteta or

    Ozil and Cazorla are a class above Ramsey or Wilshire in midfield and Giroud is a better Striker than Welbeck. We are also not over dependent on Sanchez
    as we were before Christmas and Man Utd will have a lot more to worry about
    than they had in last fixture.

    Finally we should have decent bench options to come on and freshen up team.
    Providing that we don’t have 9 players out injured that will also be of some help!

  15. Uwot?

    The problems we have are as follows:rarely do we ever have a full strength squad available when we go to old toilet often resulting in a makeshift back 4 & midfield resulting in some humiliating results.secondly we have a manager who is tactically inept resulting in said humiliations.thirdly we have a mental block & lack of character to go toe to toe when the going gets tough there & last but not least the fa will ensure as always that a dodgy ref will get the game.look no further than mike “I hate arsenal”dean for this one,you read it here first!bar a miracle we’re out….