Why I can’t empathise with the shattered dreams of footballers

by .


Had a relapse last night guys. Beer called, I picked up,  but look… I didn’t speak to her for long. It started to get heated, then I said, look babe… we know how this ends. It’s about as predictable as the career of a 15 year old signing from Haiti. Let’s call it a day.

I tapped out of a night early…


Not much…

Dinamo Zagreb have said we’re in for Brozovic. What do I know about this guy bar him being tall? Not a lot. He sounds like a playmaker. I think that means there’s a good chance this story is nonsense. He apparently replaced a player who replaced Modric. I like that we’re attacking the Eastern European market, just think we might be better placed buying a player that we need…

… that said. Arsene knows. When you need a striker, he’ll give you a number 10. When you need a centre back, he’ll give you a winger. He moves in mysterious, illogical ways… but as long as he grins, we’ll forgive him. Why? Because that grin looks like he has a plan.

Injury news has Arteta on the continued pile up. Let’s face it people, he’s that Ford Fiesta you’ve had since you were a kid… he’s done 112,000 miles and the cost of insuring him is more than the value he offers. He’ll be off in the summer, no doubt. Diaby should follow him.

The papers keep alluding to Wenger wanting players. My question is this. Why have we not done any business yet? Shouldn’t we be making sure deals are happening on Jan 1st? I find it staggering we’re in Jan and it seems no clearer what the plans are. Wenger seem, once again, to be shooting for the last week of the window to land a bargain. I know they spoke to clubs in December… why nothing happened is beyond me.

It’s a shambles. Wenger dithers. Like my Grandma does when I give her a choice of Peruvian dark roast or Colombian medium roast. Difference is, Wenger dithers for the whole month. Then makes a car crash mistake. Thing is, I thought this might happen… our good players come back, then Wenger starts pondering… could we have enough? Then we’ll have a couple more injuries and a spanking against City… then we’ll hit panic mode.

‘Who is available!’


‘Some guy with a broken back’


‘Arsene, he has a broken back’


‘Arsene, where are your clothes?’


.. still, at least we’re close to landing a 17 year old defensive midfielder. Sweet, young blood. There’s an interesting article by Ducker in The Times today. You won’t be able to read it because you’re not an elite subscription payer like me. So I’m not going to tell you what it’s about. Ok, it’s about football kids getting fucked up  by the system when they don’t make it as players. Only 2% of 16 year olds are still playing pro football at 21.

‘More than half of young British footballers whose dreams of a professional career are shattered prematurely suffer clinical levels of psychological distress’

See, this type of situation, though sad, does really hit me as a bit of a first world problem. What about all those kids who wanted to be rock stars, actors and artists? I wanted to work in marketing… ended up working in a cardboard box factory organising deliveries for 5 years. Was it sad? For me, yeah. Did it depress me? No. Have you ever had a 24 stone dispatch manager rub your shoulders post mistakes and say…

‘Pete. Beautiful Pete. It’s not the size of the tack. It’s the power behind the hammer that’s smashing it in’

It’s not nice. But you know what, you get on with it, because that’s life. You don’t have a right to your dreams.

I guess a lot of it comes from a society that treats good footballers like heroes before they’ve achieved anything of note. Schools treated the good sportsmen differently. Parents treat good sportsmen differently. They don’t have to work on their soft skills, because they can kick a ball. They don’t need to worry about being smart or polite, because they might be the next Mesut Ozil. The harsh reality is that at 16 that you might have to slum it on £22k a year working is probably quite harsh. No one cares that you’re a good footballer when you make a typo in a spreadsheet. No one gives you preferential treatment when you’re making the tea…

But that’s life. Deal with it.

I think La Masia is a great way to educate kids because it’s about more than being a footballer. It’s life skills learnt through art (I work in marketing now, so I call sport art…). Being grounded. Learning to work hard. Educating yourself. It’s the same in Germany. No flashy cars. No superstar status. Football is important, but it’s not the be all and end all.

Simple fact is anyone who has a dream is going to be affected when that dream isn’t realised. Dreams wouldn’t be dreams if you weren’t disappointed when they failed to come to something.

Don’t fret though, Paul from dispatch is always there for you, open arms…

That’s me done for the day. Big love x

P.S. There is no picture online of Dick Law. Man of mystery. Yet every January, there’s always a story that leaks of him heading off to a land far away to land a teenager. WHO LEAKS THESE STORIES. I’m barely sure he’s a real person. He’s like Keyser Soze. Or my imaginary girlfriend who is ignoring me again.


514 Responses to “Why I can’t empathise with the shattered dreams of footballers”

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  1. Emiratesstroller

    Arsenal will not buy Cech. Chelsea will never sell him to us. The same applies
    to Lloris. Spurs would not sell him to us.

    Realistically there are few goalkeepers in the market who are a significant upgrade on what we have got.

    Szczesny will not be offloaded in the next two transfer windows.Arsenal will not invest in new goalkeeper There are more important changes needed than our current crop of goalkeepers..

  2. London gunner

    Lol those Swedish women are outrageous.

    But you gotta realise you will have serious competition from the 6ft2 blonde haired bronze skinned blue eyed ripped square jawed Viking dudes.

    Either way dem swedes got serious genes.

  3. Dimitri

    Swedish guys are emasculated anorexic skinny jean wearing fags. If you have a pulse you already have more personality and charm and if you lift weights once in a while you should be okay.

  4. Cesc Appeal


    Your reputation led me to believe I was about to set eyes on some buxom Swedish beauty.

    Not some broke back Swedish horror.

  5. the_real_andy

    I really start to believe that grimandi just lists about 100 names of under 18 players and wenger just points on a name with his eyes closed. in all honesty it worked out once or twice but mostly … not.

    did anyone notice pardew’s comments about sanono? a striker does not have to score goals as long as he has ” THE CHAOS FACTOR”. did you ever wonder why pardew never got a job at a big club? that’s the answer

  6. reality check

    Just thought our new DM would get alot more air time, comments and analysis.

    He’s our new DM we’ve been crying out for.

    Sanit/Ozil, ramsey, jack, Sanchez/Welbz



    CM fill ins


    Can someone correct this please.

  7. Highbury Daze

    It’s good to know nothing changes at AFC a guy on the wrong side of 30 is out for 3 months, wont play again this season, but is set to get a 12 month extension on his contract, what I don’t get is why 60,000 Arsenal fans are not marching right into this french fucks office and demanding an explanation, this manager is past the senile stage

  8. Highbury Daze

    Wenger being the manager should pull Wilshere to one side and say, listen Jack you haf been injured too many times in your short career, knee and ankle injuries, you haf to change the vay you play the game if you vant to extend your time in ze game

    Stay on your feet, do not dive into tackles like a madman, I do not vant to keep paying you 90k a week to be always injured, I haf far too many doing that now, Arteta, Ozil Giroud Debuchy, Gnabry,Gibbs,Kos,Welbeck,Walcott, just to name a few who haf been out for months at a time injured

    Oh, and Diaby as well

  9. GuNZ

    Thank you HIghbury Daze for reinforcing the point I made the other day. Wenger is a German wannabe what with being born on the France/German border and all that – although that accent you describe makes him sound as if he’s about to bury his fangs in Jack’s jugular any second.

    P.S. Where do I sign up for being one of the 60,000 to march into his office and give him a good old-fashioned kicking. They used to take the laces out of my DMs when I was a young man going over the Arsenal so we have to avoid the old bill at the gates.

  10. peanuts&monkeys

    “why 60,000 Arsenal fans are not marching right into this french fucks ”

    Good point @Daze, but i believe English behaviour does not allow such reactions. Had Arsenal been a club in such shambles somewhere in Italy/Spain/germany, anywhere in LatAm, we would have got a new manager by 2010.

    Arsenal fans are becoming increasingly responsible for the state of the club.

  11. Dark Hei

    NYC Gooner got it spot on.

    When filtering through the junk that is on Newsnow, the Schneiderlin in Summer rumour stands out. There is something to it which is more than just wind. Like the Sanchez and Higuain rumors.

    Which means he is right. We need Kim K to fill in the numbers quick. I won’t mind seeing him once more but Wenger usually does not go back to the same routine. Benayoun was an instrumental loanee and we passed up the chance the bring him back the following season.

    I doubt a CB will be available. The likes of which we have been linked to are not moving in January. Celtic is playing for competitions so that Dutch guy is needed there. Same for Winston Reid and Hector Moreno hasn’t played much games. Issac Hayden will just have to stand up and be counted. Unless we sign someone in the last minute of the transfer window whom nobody initially figured, Monreal style.

  12. GuNZ

    Wenger should hire Dr. Frankenstein to create a hybrid player out of all the body bits that still work from his injury listed players. Or do some dodgy cloning on Sanchez and call the result a ‘discovery’ from a minor Latvian sunday-school league. Either of the two options above are beginning to look more likely than Wenger actually signing anyone up within the next two weeks.

  13. GuNZ

    The three ‘latest’ stories on the AFC website: (1) Arteta has successful surgery on ankle, (2) Arsenal Ladies’ pre-season schedule (3) Wenger: We want ‘one or two players’.

    Now, don’t get me wrong, I am all for being kept up to date on injured players (although AFC is maddeningly erratic and inexact about actual return dates from injury) and am a great fan of promoting female sport (I am lucky enough to live in a country where female athletes are held in as much reverence as their male counterparts) but shouldn’t the Arsenal fan base, at this crucial point in the season and with new injuries balancing out returns from the physio’s ministrations, be kept abreast of, and made confident in, the clubs proactivity in looking for solutions? I read more about it on Le Grove than I do on the AFC website. Wenger’s platitudes at this juncture in the window are sounding exactly like last year’s.

  14. Gregg

    I’ve got a funny feeling that Wenger is going to throw a curve ball here. My guess is he will buy a left back and use Monreal as his utility player, covering CB and seeing out games in the last ten minutes

  15. peanuts&monkeys

    ArsenalRuiner: “We work really hard morning until late night to try to get one or two players in.”

    Oh..my heart goes out for you, Mr 8 million cunt. You are putting up so much effort trying to save a few hundred pounds for your lord Kroenke. Keep it up, motherfucker.

  16. peanuts&monkeys

    @Gunz…”but shouldn’t the Arsenal fan base, at this crucial point in the season and with new injuries balancing out returns from the physio’s ministrations, ”

    And, you thought Arsenal gives a pigoen’s fuck about its fanbase. Anyways, the benign, laid-back and indifferent fanbase doesn’t deserve anything better, especially after all those paeans they have composed for the motherfucking cunt called Wenger.

  17. GuNZ

    Are modern so-called ‘professional’ sportsmen too finely tuned? Is the cost of operating at maximum stamina levels for 90 odd minutes at a time detrimental to the capacity to be able to ‘take a knock’? It certainly seems that way. We need pies, gentlemen. Pies and half-time cigarettes, and a can of ralgex spayed all over the hurty bit so that you can’t feel the pain anymore because your leg’s on fire. There’s not an ounce of fat on those Arsenal boys at the moment but no cushion means bruising. So, pies, half-time cigarettes, and ralgex or get more of those cereal packets that Sanchez came out of.

  18. GuNZ

    Thanks Peanuts&Monkeys

    You reminded me. I almost forgot to repeat my daily mantra like that little girl (Arya?) in Game of Thrones who has alist of people she wants to shaft. I have a list up whose arse I want to shove a can of ralgex with the dispenser button taped down: Giroud, Wenger . . .. . Giroud, Wenger .. . . Giroud, Wenger

  19. ADKB

    We all want AW out ASAP and see a young, dynami, modern manager take over. Klopp, Simeone, even Pep, are being salivated over here.

    I’m a bit worried about when the change comes. Most of the people at Arsenal aren’t used to thinking for themesleves and have been under AW’s dictatorship for so long they’d be lost in the early days of the new regime.

    The new manager says let’s go shop at Waitrose, the people won’t know the way to the nearest branch and suggest Aldi and Lidl instead. Some will faint at the sight of the shopping list in the first place.

  20. Leedsgunner

    ArsenalRuiner: “We work really hard morning until late night to try to get one or two players in.”

    Please Arsene, no more broken backs.

    How you managed to keep your job after bringing the club into disrepute after the Kallstrom fiasco I’ll never know. Better to have nobody rather more broken bodies — we have enough of those.

  21. Thank you and goodnight


    Unbelievable isn’t it. We have a so called ‘world class’ manager who signs a player who’s injured to replace a player who’s injured…….and yet still he has the backing of the fans. Unfuckingbelievable. After all i thought they’d stopped making carry on films, but it seems to me that ‘carry on the Arsenal’ is still running.

  22. Rocky Pires

    Loan deal for Sagna anyone? he is about to be chopped from their Champions League squad to make space for Bony.

  23. Leedsgunner


    He’s only considered “world class” because he’s in his “own little world” most of the time. He is a legend in his own mind.

    He was world class once, that is not in doubt, now.

    Furthermore, what’s the point saying you’re working hard now? The hard work should have gone in before the transfer window opened so that once the window opens you can be ready with the contract to the targets identified.

    Wenger might be holding on to the last minute to get the best deal but since our needs are so apparent, no self respecting opponent is going to give us a discount for a position that we need. The truth is because we are so badly affected by injuries and so lacking in ready squad depth — the selling club has us under a barrel. They don’t need us as much as we need them.

    Dithering, making excuses and complaining about how unfair itis are the only things that this manager is world class at now.

    I’m so looking forward to the post Wengazidas-Kronke era.

  24. R.S.P.C.Arsenal

    This window is typical wenger …
    Don’t get upset anymore..
    Did in jan 2009 an jan 2012

    Because with the right signings we could have won the lesgue..,
    Weak strategy manager .

    That’s what he is ,

  25. Highbury Daze

    Under strength squads, loses to top teams constantly, didn’t see the incident, they were accidents, the list is endless of pathetic fucking excuses for his incompetent negligent unchecked useless fucking actions

  26. leon

    sorry i have no interest in the new signing 17 old boy who may or may not make it in the next 4-5 years.

    I have lost all hope for wenger

  27. Bamford10

    Atletico spend roughly a third of what Arsenal do on wages and have a net positive transfer spend yet compete with and beat the likes of Madrid and Barcelona regularly.

    See their dismissal of Madrid yesterday, for example.

    Wenger on the other hand cannot compete against the best, cannot lead his team to victory against the top teams.

    Simeone is a great manager;Wenger is a relic who produces also-ran sides year after year after year.

  28. tenerife gooner

    Newcastle,when Managers complain about giving away bad goals,no credit given to the attackers.I have not read any reviews,but for me Newcastle gave Southampton 2 goals,the long haired guy, Coc,should have been going back not forward,Point of my post.I,am always cautious to be critical of you guys who go regular,been there got the shirt.What i disagree with and do not understand,is the comments on Monreal not tackling early.He as probably ,in his early days been trained to fall back.I do not want my defenders tackling,only as a last resort.The foot Soldiers should do the s—