Transfer Gossip

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Happy new year one and all! @aldo_doel here fresh from 2014 to massage your eyes with some soothing words and that.

Transfer Gossip
So now we are into the new year and January, it’s silly season in terms of news. A cursory glance across Newsnow reveals a rich tapestry of clickbait shite written by desperate hacks whose dreams of becoming an intrepid reporter for a respected broadsheet are slowly crushed every time their sub editor asks them to rewrite an article about a Felipe Melo tweet until it is completely unreadable just so that they can slap the headline on it: “Melo ‘in heaven’ about Gunners move”.

No sympathy from me because I’ve just opened three of said articles and discovered we may (or may not) be signing Krystian Bielik (who?); we are set to beat Manchester United in the race for William Carvalho (who no one wanted in the summer) and we are DEFINITELY signing Loic Perrin after he told some journalists that.


Sorry I shouldn’t be so disparaging about transfer rumours. I love transfer rumours. It’s one of the great things about football; imagining how this or that player could improve your team (I mean imagine Georgios Samaras, IMAGINE!)

Also people who dismiss transfer gossip as infantile or “not supporting the team” are dreadful humans – slightly worse than people who stand on the left on the Tube escalators in the ‘Doel Hierarchy of Bastardry’.

The despondency about all this transfer tomfoolery comes from the fact that rather than guessing on January 7 who may be on their way, we should have had this locked down weeks ago. New DM and CB Bang! Where’s Cabaye, Schniederlin or Khedira? Where’s Mings or Reid? These guys don’t have £100m buyout clauses. We have a desperate need for players in these positions, the Manager and our own players have acknowledged it. We could sign any one of them if we showed some ambition. Instead we are looking to make do with another Ligue 1 journeyman – Squillaci or Kallstrom Mark II. Balls.

Even if you are going to shop in the bargain bucket at least get it done early so we don’t have to struggle though the rest of January with Waddle the Dog and a Charlton loanee anchoring our midfield.

In other news nobody’s flavour of the month Wojciech Chezknee has been caught smoking in the shower. Why? Who knows, maybe it’s a new craze, like snorting ket in the bath; but as Pete covered yesterday it’s pretty much the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard a footballer do given where he was and how he knows Arsene would react about it. Zero chill.

Unlike Pedro I still think SZCZ has something to offer. He bailed us out a fair few times last season and had serious skillz when he was young. My view is – as with our last 4 keepers – any talent he has is being slowly coached out of him by Gerry Peyton and his team of clumsy waiters. I mean seriously which was the last Arsenal Keeper to improve during his time with us? Lehman about 10 years ago. It’s a madness.

Finally the football. Well to be honest I’ve missed a lot of it what with being on holiday in Costa Rica over Xmas (LOL), but it seems all the goodwill built up from the QPR and West Ham games was undone by another away day horror show at Southampton. Another game we should be winning if we are serious about competing for the title (which I understand we are). Still at least the Hull game was good. I really hope we kick on in the second half of the season as the first half has been quite frankly appalling.

Our next game is at home on Sunday against Stoke. Ah Stoke, like an evening in Weatherspoon’s with Jim Davidson. Needless to say it won’t be a pretty game and we will have to tolerate some of their fans hilarious “banter” which includes booing Aaron Ramsey for breaking his leg and making barely legible signs about Arsene Wenger. If anything makes me an AKB it’s the thought of him winning League at the Britannia and lifting the trophy in front of all their confused, ghoulish faces. That’d be sweet.

More analysis of that game nearer the time. Anyway that’s me done for the day.

Enjoy your breakfasts x

348 Responses to “Transfer Gossip”

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  1. carts

    I’m certain Yames was just as much a “necessary signing” as he is an attempt to tap into Colombia’s football market

  2. Goondawg

    Atletico madrid of late always sticks it in them. They should have won the CL final as well. Diego Simeone top manager, epitomises tactical nous and defensive cohesion in a way Wenger never could grasp

  3. london gunner

    We need Diego his the antithesis of Wenger Ball.

    He just comfortably contained and beat the most WC squad in the world.

    Also I think his style of football is actually fairly attractive, they manage to look like sharks on the counter despite the lack of pace through out the squad.

    Also bonus points for being great at set pieces and keeping a unified defensive response.

  4. Jeff


    Are you confusing “The Rise and Fall of Reginald Perrin” with “Rising Damp”? Leonard Rossiter was brilliant in both.

  5. Radio Raheem

    The only reason Atletico won today is because Jesus Gil put them in debt yonks ago. You flanks wanking over Atletico know nothing. Simeone is a shit manager the main main you should congratulating is Gil, Jesus Gil – this is all his work

  6. london gunner


    I’d rather the guy whose currently joint second in the league 2 points behind the leaders.

    Than a manager whose in the relegation zone.

  7. Highbury Daze

    A shit manager, beat both Barca and Real to the title, in debt ,big deal, everyone is in debt, credit where it’s due

  8. Highbury Daze

    That is one of the stupidest posts I read in a long time, did you read in some rag that gil went into debt, how do you think the world operates son, we all owe

  9. Highbury Daze

    So according to that theory SAF klopp and the rest of the managers are shit because someone higher up the chain put them in debt, hahaha, you take the biscuit son

  10. John T.

    A week plus into the transfer window and NOTHING out of Wenger. Not surprised here across the Pond. WENGER OUT!!!!!!

  11. Highbury Daze

    Alex, I thought by now you would realize we are not competing for the title, it has been obvious long before now

  12. Highbury Daze

    We are 13 points of the top 2 and have been for ages, we are competing for the usual 4th spot, and are every season

    Honestly, we have 2 CB and a total of 6 registered defenders in the 1st team squad and you think that is challenging material, sorry sport, not even close

  13. Highbury Daze

    Well you know what to expect from Wenger, Per Arteta Santos I think were all signed lat in the window, Ozil same last day

    Wenger needs time to find the right qualitee, not just any plank, he needs to add something to the squad, if he finds one he will sign him, we hear that bollocks over and over, it’s trash, this termite’s idea of Qualiteee is Sanogo, Chamakh, this is this numb skulls idea free fucking transfers, fuck he is a aggravating mother fucking manager

  14. Highbury Daze

    When you read that tripe that he is after a 17 year old boy, you know he is not interested in winning football matches, but instead buy cheap and selling later on for profit,this club is calling out for defensive options and this parasite is after kids so he can make the club more money, they forget it’s a football club, these cuntz think its a business like a sweets shop

  15. Dark Hei

    I am referring to Bielik of course.

    Look if Wenger is being cheap again………he is not going to buy a “proper” deep lying midfielder or CB. Bielik or no Bielik.

    Unless you mean that Wenger is personally conducting all the calls to agents himself since he is too cheap to get a PA. Thus if he is trying hard to sign Bielik, he is not able to sign he first team players we need because he is too busy. Which then is a another problem altogether!

  16. GuNZ

    I’ve cracked it. We sign Manu Tuilagi, Ma’a Nonu, Julian Savea and a few others of the same ilk who will be cheap because they are switching from Rugby Union and the fact they don’t kow how to play soccer doesn’t disadvantage them because neither do our current back four appear to either, and we play them against the teams above us with the instruction to cripple the attacking players out of the season. We will lose those games anyway so if they get sent off one game at a time it won’t matter because we’ll have another big, dirty, crunching tackler to cover the 3 match ban as they rotate around. Then we beat the teams below us and the Premiership’s ours for the taking. Brilliant! Why didn’t I think of that before. With any luck they’ll punch some sense into Wenger as well.

  17. Highbury Daze

    I completely disagree if we are short in certain areas wht’s the point of buy a 17 year old, buy CB and CDM and if you want to penny pinch on babies of 17 go right ahead but not at the expense of a first team position for fuck sake

  18. Highbury Daze

    Most of these kids Wenger bought over the last 10 years, where are they only a couple are playing the rest were sold for profit, it is his game Ox and Walcott, nicked from Saints, rest are moved on for the pounds, just like Sanogo, what was the point in getting Sanogo in, so he could be pissed off in a few years for the money that is what these parasites live for money not glory honour or silverware, the cuntz are millionaires and billionaires and still want more greedy fucks

  19. GuNZ

    And another thing while I’m about it and can still type before the red wine attacks my finger-tips, what’s all this with the ‘And it’s Ar-se-nal . . . blah blah blah’ song being the only one I ever hear being chanted when I watch games. There’s no ‘Come and have a go if you think you’re ‘ard enough’ no ‘They’re turning White Hart Lane into a Public lavatory’ no ‘You dirty northern bastards’ no ‘Brady, Brady born is the king of HIghbury’ no ‘We’ve got Georgie Armstrong on the wing …. we’ve got the best team in the land’ etc. etc. – well maybe not the last two nowadays – that we used to have when I used to pay my 3 quid to go stand on the North Bank or less for the Clock End. No wonder the team don’t don’t perform anymore. Some idiots even shout out la-la-la Giroud or some such shit when the concorde-nosed git somehow manages to mis-hit the ball into the net instead of hacking it off into the stands. And as for ‘There’s only one Arsene Wenger’ well thank fuck there is because if there’s another past-their-sell-by-date one like him out there, we don’t want him.

  20. Le Prof


    ‘ the fact they don’t kow how to play soccer doesn’t disadvantage’

    You’ve just used the word ‘soccer’. Your opinion doesn’t count anymore.