Tis the season to be jolly. Yes it is. So jolly and happy. It’s also the season to demand presents. Trouble is I’m too old to play those games anymore. The sort of presents I want can’t be purchased on a a Primark gift card these days.
So here’s the top 5 Christmas every Gooner wants this season.
1. I want a brand spanking new centre back. No. I want two. Smart, technical and fast. Let’s put the emphasis on a ball player. I want two though. Give me a seasoned 28 year old and throw in a young one like Tyrone Mings. Make this happen Santa. Save our season.
2. An Arsene Wenger zipper coat please. That’d be sweet. I want to have a jacket that can double as a sleeping bag, a tent and a fancy dress caterpillar. I want it.
3. Some good spirit in the ground. Look, I know I’m one to talk, but maybe we need to start relaxing a bit. If you crunch the data, the hope we build every season is misplaced. Groundhog Day is a repeat of continuous situations… we know how it ends, so why not reframe how we react to it? Let’s be like the Dortmund fans. It’s way more pleasurable than going to the the ground for 2 hours to be upset.
4. I’d like a DM who is older than 16, but younger than 28. A fast mobile terrier who’ll shake things up. Needs to be mean. Needs to be able to pass. Needs to be the fire we lack in the belly of the team.
5. Arsene Wenger to get some self help books. For him to realise not having all the answers is fine. Address the knowledge shortage with experts, not a heavy dose of ‘more of the same’
That’s my list. How does yours look?
Ho ho ho!