Morning all! Alex here, drafted in at the last minute with the mother of all hangovers to try and put enough words in the right order to create something legible and interesting. Let’s see how we get on…
So how was your Halloween? Did you trick or did you treat? Did you set a firework off in a pensioners face or did you end up at a house party being sick off a balcony? Whatever you did, I hope you stayed safe.
So onto football and Arsenal. God it feels like a long time doesn’t it? Well it’s not been really but the fact is I’ve missed our last two games. In fact, I haven’t even had time to watch the highlights. However I did get a flavour of the respective performances we put in by following the games on twitter (the home of reasoned and balanced analysis). For what its worth, here’s my two cents:
Anderlecht – like getting a lapdance off your nan for 85 minutes, only for Rachel Riley to show up at the end in a bikini with a bottle of champagne
Sunderland – like watching golf in a Volvo with Michael Owen
Nonetheless, two wins is two wins, we must look forward not back etc etc. Today we face recently promoted Burnley who come from somewhere up north. I know very little about them, other than the fact that Alistair Campbell is a fan and their manager always sounds like he needs to clear his throat. So little to analyse tactically here, however to be fair this is probably one of those games where Arsene’s ‘we play our own style, balls to your team and your “tactics”’ philosophy can actually work. We are good enough to beat Burnley at home. Scrap that; we should be thrashing them.
The big news, for me anyway, is that Theo is getting closer to a return to the first team. It may be an uncontroversial thing to say but it can’t come soon enough. We have been pretty woeful this season and, before he got injured, I would say he was on the cusp of becoming a world class player. The kind of guy who can win games for you on his own. Let’s hope his lengthy lay-off hasn’t hindered his progress and his return will be the fillip the team needs to get the season back on track.
Amazingly according to Squawka and Physio Room, Arsenal have had 73 injuries in the time Theo has been out; with Gibbs and Wilshere picking up 6 separate injuries each. Bonkers if true. But don’t worry guys, Arsenal are on to their third internal review, so I’m pretty sure they’ll have figured out what the problem is by January (ps it wont be the manager).
The only other team news to note is that Wilshere is out, but Gibbs might play leaving us with one fit defender or something (I can’t keep track to be honest).
Ok that’s your lot from me today, hopefully there’s enough get you through the morning, prep you for today’s game and bring about the end of capitalist society as we know it. (If you want to know where Russell Brand got the idea for his revolution from; it was here, the ONLY anarcho-syndicalist Arsenal blog worth reading.)
I might be back tomorrow with a match report which will be better than this, I promise. In the meantime please follow me on twitter @aldo_doel – this is a cynical appeal for numbers. I need more numbers.
Ps If you are going to the game today remember, if you don’t sing, then it’s your fault if we don’t win and you should probably kill yourself for not being a real fan.
Pps only joking, please don’t do that x