RED ZONE FOR ALL | Mario rumours hotting up?

by .

You might need one of these at some point during this post

You might need one of these at some point during this post

MORNING! Shocker eh? So early…

Yet more high profile spankings dished out yesterday, this time, Germany took down Portugal… the England of the latino countries. They beat them 4-0. Quite embarrassing how easily they delivered the defeat. Thomas Mueller stealing the show. The scruffiest footballer of them all. He literally looks like he’s rolled out of bed, had his football gear thrown at him… and then he bags a few goals without ever looking like he’s stepped out of second gear.


Rapha Honigstein said he doesn’t score goals, he steals them. I like that line. What I’d do to have him in our side.

I’d eat a live chicken. That’s what I’d do for Mueller.

So what else do I have to bitch about today?

Injuries. How about all those injuries. Proper sad moment when we lost the precocious talent of Jose Altidore to a hamstring injury, we lost Rues in the training camp, Ronaldo picked up a knock, Hummels, Hulk, Eto’o, Toure… GARY LEWIN FOR PETE’S SAKE.

What’s going on?

I have no idea. However, I’d guess that a seasons load on a player, plus the travel, plus the fatigue inducing heat is having a bad affect on players. It’s all part of being a football player I guess, but these World Cups are going to leave a lot of players in bad shape for next season. Not that FIFA will care, they’ve put on a great show. The only people who will care are clubs… because their assets will be ruined for the start of the year.

In other news, John Cross is suggesting that Arsenal are going to propose a swap deal with Cleverley.

Do. Me. A. Favour.

Quite possibly the most horrendous story of the summer. It’s almost spiteful. Surely, just surely, if Arsenal were in for a player like Cleverley, they’d have gone for Cesc. If we opt for Cleverley, it’ll prove once an for all that Arsene has lost his mind. A totally ridiculous suggestion. One so appalling, I think I’ve just messed myself in my plane seat sat next to a random. He’s not happy, but I’ve explained the deal and I think he too has messed himself… he doesn’t even like football apparently.

Anyway, hopefully that’s a crock of pony.

There are light whisperings of Mario to Arsenal. I can’t say I’ve heard anything about that. Which is a real shame. I wish I’d been told we were in for the Italian. That’d make my damn week. No, it’d make my damn year. We deserve that man in our side. He’d be perfect in a totally mental kind of way… you know, like when you’re walking down the road and a crazy homeless person rides past on a stolen bicycle singing Bob Marley – No Woman No Cry  (happened two days ago).

I need that crazy moment. Not Tom Cleverley. That’s like the time you grab the handrail on the tube and you feel instantly that someone has sneezed on it.

Right, short post today because I’m in Cannes acting the big shot marketing melt in a messed pair of cream chinos. Just got to remember to say ‘real time marketing’ or ‘the share economy is where it’s heading’ whenever someone says hello.

Have a mighty fine day! x

971 Responses to “RED ZONE FOR ALL | Mario rumours hotting up?”

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  1. MidwestGun

    Carts –
    Hahaha ya probably. Like him better than Griezemann tho and more versatile. Doesn’t everyone jack the price on us? Course AW only bids half anyhow. Lol.

  2. Bamford13

    Yes Alfie, he is an asterisk.

    Technical, skillful, and clever, but entirely without pace or athleticism and thus at times ineffective to useless.

    Thanks for showing the usefulness of the “asterisk” designation.

  3. karim

    Alfie
    Cheers
    Actually, I’ve been going up and down the Arsenal rollercoaster for about 20 yrs now but I’ve only been on le grove for a couple of years.

  4. Alfie

    Karim,

    LOL! Arsenal have been around longer than 2 years. If you think the FA cup was a success than you should look back over your new clubs history. We went unbeaten in one season. That means we didn’t lose a game.

    Its pretty costly to go to games nowadays but its amazing.

    There are just so many things, I don’t have enough time! Wiki ‘Arsenal FC’ and see for yourself.

    Welcome to the club!

  5. Bamford13

    Alfie sucks dick.

    You literally just “welcomed” someone to the “Arsenal family” who has been a supporter for twenty years.

    How long have you been stinking up Le Grove? I’ve been on here every day for the past couple of years and have been fortunate not to read your inanities.

    Now you’re here and we’re the poorer for it.

    You haven’t contributed a single valuable or noteworthy comment yet.

    You’re a knob, mate. Please go away.

  6. MidwestGun

    Lol I missed the asterisk debate yesterday.
    *likes Sonic underwear
    *only scores crap goals
    *slower than a herd of turtles
    *exceptional hair
    *makes a face when he misses 😮

  7. Nasri's Mouth

    @Karim

    Do you know what happened with happened with Deschamps suing Nasri’s girlfriend? Did he go ahead with it?

  8. karim

    Santos
    Alive and kicking ! Hope everything’s fine for you
    I think / hope we’ll beat Switzerland, which will logically lead to Bosnia in the last 16, which should be ok
    Germany in the last 8 should be a step too high but it would be a good start for this young team
    Euro 2016 at home is the ultimate goal

  9. Bamford13

    Midwest

    I would gladly accept some gentle ribbing for my asterisk designation (though I do think it’s apt). But this Alfie is a complete dipshit.

    Will not accept anything from him.

    Can’t wait till you say something that attempts to be substantive, Alfie. I’m going to enjoy demolishing it.

  10. Alfie

    Bamford,

    Firstly, your handle is crap. Bamford is a womens clothing company, a village in Derbyshire or some douche bags ‘cool nickname’.

    On the minimalistic times I have posted on here its been things that draw conversation and debate and have meaning. You make up meanings of words.

    ASTERISK DOESNT MEAN ANYTHING OTHER THAN THAT CRAPPY STAR AFTER A WORD!!!

    We are not mates and I will not go away.

    You cant bully people on here anymore.

  11. Bamford13

    azed

    I love the idea of Ken doing the post, but I’m afraid it would only be seven or eight words long. 😉

  12. Alfie

    “bhenChode June 18, 2014 13:36:49

    Alfie you prick shut up”

    Actual LOL – Didn’t you make the racist comment yesterday regarding Asians being superior to the Western civilisation?

    Bender.

  13. Bamford13

    “You cant bully people on here anymore.”

    I don’t bully, Alfie, but it would be lovely if you left for Arseblog or some such site. I haven’t seen you a single intelligent or interesting thing yet.

    But I’m open-minded. I’ll wait.

    Let me ask you something, though: Do you believe in Arsene Wenger?

  14. Bamford13

    * by “believe” I mean “support”, “trust”, “have faith”.

    I know you struggle with anything but a strictly literal and mechanistic use of our language.

  15. Nasri's Mouth

    So I’ve come back to casual racism, homophobia, comparisons to Hitler, and people thinking they’re hard on the internet is something to aspire to.

  16. Ashwin Gunner

    “Actual LOL – Didn’t you make the racist comment yesterday regarding Asians being superior to the Western civilisation? ”

    Yea he did.. I was actually surprised no one replied to him.

  17. MidwestGun

    Speaking from experience I think Bamford brings his A game most days. And I enjoy his debates.
    Dont really know you Alfie, except you made N5 a little angry. And N5 is usually pretty easy to get along with, unless your a tool. Just sayin.

  18. Ashwin Gunner

    Bamford

    “Do you believe in Arsene Wenger?”

    You are waking up the devil inside………. 🙂

  19. Bamford13

    “da Clash”!

    What a knob.

    It’s “The Clash”. Only someone trying to sound cool would say, “da Clash”.

    “When they kick at your front door/
    How you gonna come?”

  20. N5

    “Alfie. . . . what kind of bitch-ass name is that?”

    My son’s name 🙁

    Midwest, Keyser has been here longer than me and gambon and I think Nasri’s mouth. I’m a sperm compared to those old timers 😀

  21. Ashwin Gunner

    Yea

    N5 is pretty easy going. but if you keep picking on him he turns into “Maximus Decimus Meridius”

    🙂 🙂

  22. Alfie

    “Let me ask you something, though: Do you believe in Arsene Wenger?”

    No. I used to, for so long until I began to see through him. I love the concept of what he is trying to achieve I just think that he is ‘stuck in the dark ages’ so to speak. Trying to create talent.

    I have never condoned the verbal abuse he gets on here but after a while it begins to get your back up. He has no problems accepting contracts with bigger financial gains whist failing to award some of our best players in order to keep them. This reeks of hypocrisy.

    How can someone mould a team around Cesc and than sell him despite how many years he had left. On the cheap.

    I could literally rant all day but what irks me the most and what makes me so mad is the excitement and passion I think he has taken out of Arsenal.

    Look to Chelsea/Man Utd/Liverpool – all going in hard in the transfer window, big names being talked about and the bar being set and we paddle along to the last day of the transfer window and sign 1-2 mediocre players.

    We start well and always limp to 4th.

    Im bored of it ultimately.

  23. Alfie

    ““da Clash”!

    What a knob.

    It’s “The Clash”. Only someone trying to sound cool would say, “da Clash”.”

    I think irony may be lost on you.

  24. Bamford13

    Alfie

    Again, do you rate Arsene Wenger? Would love to know your assessment. Would be enlightening, for all of us.

  25. MidwestGun

    I just figured gambon was here the longest. But Keyser says he remembers female posters. Imagine that? Lol. We could use a few if you ask me. Straighten TY&GN out!! 😀

  26. Nasri's Mouth

    @MidwestGun

    I think Keyser’s been here longer than me.

    I’m impressed he keeps going to be honest.

    I’m an argumentative sod, but I do occasionally get people to agree with me, (or at least see my point of view) whichever side of the fence they’re chucking burning torches from, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone agree with Keyser

  27. Nasri's Mouth

    MidwestGun: But Keyser says he remembers female posters.

    I think he means he imagines them…

    …desperately and furtively

  28. N5

    Keyser is held captive in a Iraqi torture camp and Le Grove has been his punishment since the first Gulf War. He is forced at gunpoint to come on here and say things like L’Oreal is great 😀

  29. Ashwin Gunner

    “But Keyser says he remembers female posters.”

    That would had been Pedro, posting with a different name to tease Keyser… LOL

  30. MidwestGun

    NM-
    Hahaha ya Keyser does have an active imagination. I think I agreed with Keyser once about sonething but I don’t remember what it was. Probably, that I’m an idiot. 😀

  31. Alfie

    “Bamford13 June 18, 2014 13:56:39
    Alfie

    Again, do you rate Arsene Wenger? Would love to know your assessment. Would be enlightening, for all of us.”

    Ive already replied you plank.

  32. azed

    “I just figured gambon was here the longest. But Keyser says he remembers female posters”

    There used to be a few here… the only name i can remember is Qos.. Queen of Surbia(sp?)

  33. Gunner2301

    Where’s the F&@£$#€ Post?

    Alright lads

    Midwest if you’ve agreed with Keyser on something make sure he hasn’t started stalking you 🙂 lol he might have cut a key to your house already.

  34. MidwestGun

    TY&GN –
    Hahaha ya, straightened out, probably the wrong word. On your best behavior? Lol. …….. actually ya nevermind…… your hopeless. 🙁

  35. Goonergirl

    Hey guys this is my first post all the way from South Africa and admittedly it won’t be as good as Oswalds(I think that’s his name if I remember correctly). I’ve been reading Le Grove for a while now but never got down to posting. But I’d just like to say this blog is highly entertaining and also keep up the good work Pedro.

  36. salparadisenyc

    Pedders takin the day off.

    You and me both buddy… no bar action for me today. The Belge did me in with their 14% and supermodels trolling about. That match may of been shit but the scene was epic.

  37. N5

    Ashwin, not only do I not think EmmaGunner is a girl but the “fella” who posts under that name is a plank as well! 😀

  38. azed

    Did anyone of you aside Keyser meet the poster on here who’s moniker is banned but the moniker is an Animal and also the name of a British car maker?

  39. Bamford13

    Alfie

    “No. I used to, for so long until I began to see through him. I love the concept of what he is trying to achieve I just think that he is ‘stuck in the dark ages’ so to speak. Trying to create talent.”

    Fair enough response. Glad you’re not a blinkered Wenger supporter.

    I will play nice. For now. 😉