Would you take a veteran striker? | Wenger signs, hooray!

by .

Brave. The Jack Wilshere of goats.

Brave. The Jack Wilshere of goats.

Hey, happy Friday you absolute darlings.

On the menu today is something well seasoned, expensive and useful.

Who’s that? Eto’o.

He’s leaving Chelsea because they think he’s useless, but he’s not having it.

I said he’s not facking having it.

He wants to stay in London and prove he’s not an past it African superstar with a date of birth that is questionable.

I’d love him at Arsenal. He’s a name. He’s a legend. He’s a perfect option from the bench. He’s so outrageously rich, I’m sure we could pick him up on a pretty good deal. If he could contribute 10 goals to next season, that’s ten more goals than Sanogo offered this season. You also have the benefit of his experience filtering into our ‘fingers crossed’ superstar signing as well as teaching Sanogo where that damn goal is…

‘No Yaya, not there, and pull your shorts up you silly boy!’

I’d be bang up for a move like that. It adds a bit of seriousness to our squad. Even though he’s old, he’s still an exciting name. You don’t forget how to finish… do you?

No you don’t.

In other news, Wenger has signed on for three more years. Here’s a shocker, Bob Wilson is pleased.

‘This is a guy who works 24 hours a day all year around’

‘He hates to lose and revolutionised the game in the country. Some say he has too much power but a guy who dedicates himself to it like he does, you cherish.’

I don’t cherish his control or power. Nor do I care that he gives it his all. I earn about half of what he does and I’m working the weekend. Plenty of people work jobs they hate 7 days a week.

No doubt this deal will have no stipulations, no KPIs, no ‘look, if you don’t improve, let’s part waves’… just three years of ‘one or two players, we’re nearly there’.

Facepalm. I’ll have to reset my two year counter to three  years. Arsene Wenger, the never ending manager.

Another short one. So how about you do some work and tell me who our back up striker should be this season?

404 Responses to “Would you take a veteran striker? | Wenger signs, hooray!”

Jump to comment form ↓

  1. Dan Ahern

    sal — I’m not even going to bother reading whatever he’s commented. Let me take a wild guess:

    the stadium, the oligarch, the oilies. the stadium, the oligarch, the oilies. the stadium, the oligarch, the oilies. the stadium, the oligarch, the oilies. the stadium, the oligarch, the oilies. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz……..

  2. Phil

    i could say the same thing about you salpa …what with still living in an era where it was between us and united or still living in an era where we had multiple serious world cup winners in the squad ….things have changed in the epl…do we blame wenger for that too? ….

  3. N5

    “the peasants and the savages and the revisionist arseholes with their sense of entitlement and chip on their shoulders COULD NOT accept that arsenal was pisspoor ( trophies, money, reputation, status) before wenger and if we are to become big its through this genius manager’s thinking working and vision. ”

    “i do not note anything of importance before wenger that would suggest arsenal was knocking on the doors of barcelonas milans and bayerns…….”

    Lol, plastic cunt.

  4. Phil

    N5 poor boy ..youve been going for an hour about other people on other sites and you complain when i ask you for the lotto numbers? 🙂

    you know everything dude !!!!

    come on …just 6..only 6 numbers from 1 to 49..you can do it!

  5. N5

    Phil don’t play like you’re not hunter13 you silly fool, you even mentioned the other day about meeting me at Che’s. Pretending you’re not him now just makes you look schizophrenic.

  6. Arsene's Nurse

    N5 May 30, 2014 19:11:22

    Nurse, he’s from Positively Arsenal, he posts under Hunter13 there, he’s been here before under the name eyemsick. You should read the shit he comes out with over there about how he schooled us all.

    Pathetic mug.
    ——————————–
    Didn’t realise he was eyemsick or hunter13. Says it all really. It’s pretty sad going onto a site and trying to get a rise out of the regulars. That goes for anyone or any site really – I couldn’t think of anything sadder. Even registering on a spurs blog just to troll them is rather desperate.

    I’m wondering if Wilshere will get a run out tonight. He’s been given the #7 shirt which is somewhat cursed.

    I’d like to see him on the pitch. He copped it a bit from Scholes, but to his credit actually got hold of Scholes’ number and spoke to him about it. I’d like Jack to use his noodle a bit more than heart.

  7. luke

    Seriously how hard is it to sort us out? It is so obvious what we need: replace Flappy and Sagna, add a class DM, LW, and CF. How difficult can this be?

    -Looks like Aurier is our RB – if not Piczech (sp?) is a great option. So is Coleman.
    -Plenty of GKs out there.
    -DM: Javi Martinez, Blaise Matuidi, Luis Gustavo, Lars Bender, Gonzalons, Khedira, Schneiderlin, Id even take a punt on a cut price Fellaini.
    -LW: Di Maria, Reus, Konopolyaka, Cuadrado, Sanchez, Shaqiri, Draxler, Vela
    -ST/CF: Cavani, Benzema, Costa, Benteke/Lukaku, Remy (ugh)

  8. Phil

    dude…. you sound you have issues so ill leave you alone to sort yourself out…in the meantime dont forget to give us those 6 numbers ….. 🙂

    plus what salpa said in previous page describes you to the T

    “What can you do?
    Somebody taking the time to dig through a bag of old tweets… now that depressing. And getting the names wrong too. What a fool.”

    prophet salpa!

  9. N5

    Lol Phil, how about you leave everyone alone and fuck off back to your own pathetic site so pathetic troll.

    You’re a grown man for Christ Sake.

  10. salparadisenyc

    Phil

    You silly cunt I was actually describing you.. and if your going to quote me at least get it right.

  11. Phil

    guns of brixton..whats with the tone..??.” answer me!”…lol…sit the fuck down you cunt….getting aggressive cause you cant explain your “reasonable arguements” hehe….

  12. Phil

    salparadisenycMay 30, 2014 19:36:42

    well you actually described N5 there ..even without knowing it at the time..dont sweat..it was spot on actually. he did exactly as you described within minutes.

  13. MidwestGun

    Don’t know why he doesn’t go by Hunter13 everywhere? Scared I guess. But there is literally nobody who could possibly copy his ranting style of bad grammer, misspellings and ………dots…..and same subject matter rants……bruuhaha.

    To be fair, his mutual masterbation blog is very boring.

  14. Arsene's Nurse

    kwik fit May 30, 2014 19:19:13

    I wonder what phil celebrated more. Arsenal winning their first trophy in nine years or Wenger getting a three year extension. I suggest the latter.
    —————————————————————
    Phil’s Mum: Philip, Philly dear, dinners ready!

    [silence]

    Phil’s Mum: Come on down darling, I’ve made your favourite and I’ve put it on your favourite Arsene Wenger plate.

    Phil’s Dad: I fear for that lad. It’s great being a gooner, but his bedroom only has Wenger posters in it.

    Phil’s Mum: I’ll take him up a cup of tea.

    [she climbs the stairs and as she nears Phil’s door she can hear strange noises]

    [cue muffled groans]

    [Phil’s mum knocks on the door – no answer – she walks in]

    Phil’s Mum: Oh god! [the tea cup crashes to the floor and she rushes from the scene]

    The camera cuts to the face of a blissfully unaware Phil, a pleasurable grimace on his face, the words “mental strength” and “hand brake” can be heard from his headphones.

    Phil’s Dad: What’s wrong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost!

    Phil’s Mum: [shaking] He, he, he’s got a fleshlight. Oh god I caught him masturbating using a fleshlight with a cardboard cut out of Wenger’s face slipped over it.

    Phils’ Dad: Right that’s it, I’m going to use the parental internet controls and ban him from Positively Arsenal and Untold.

  15. Guns of brixton

    Show me your number?

    pull your tounge out my arsehole Phil! dogs do that!

    I owned you, a man walks away , a dog starts sucking up mate? lol!

    times up mate, time to fuck off.

  16. Cesc Appeal

    MidWest

    Have you seen Positively Arsenal?

    It gets about 20 comments a day or something. Just wish people would stop indulging this loony.

    He’s not even smart enough to try to change up his writing or grammatical style when he’s pretending to be someone else. Phil, Savage, Eyemsick they all have exactly the same writing styles and the same pathetically childish retorts.

    Just ignore it, and it can scuttle off to it’s loser friends who’ll then slap each other on the back and say he schooled everyone, or had everyone on the Le Grove “rattled.” Casually ignoring the fact that everyone is just taking the piss out of him.

  17. andy1886

    Mid, be fair to the guy, English as a second language is a difficult one to master. Trouble is no-one speaks his first language, Cuntish, on here.

  18. Arsene's Nurse

    kwik fit May 30, 2014 19:58:43

    LOL AN 🙂

    phil have you got the fleshlight in you one hand and togger in the other ATM 🙂
    ————————————————-
    I think he’s probably putting the finishing touches to his “Leave Wenger alone!” you tube vid.

  19. MidwestGun

    Cesc-
    Ya, when I need to read a bunch of comments congratulating themselves about how clever they are in their undying support of AW. And how only they are the true fans. I amuse myself by reading all 25 of their comments. 10 of them are Hunter13’s drivel.

    They don’t like you much over there. Apparently, you have turned to the darkside. Whatever, that means. Lol.

  20. kwik fit

    Ángel di María: “It hurts when you’re always doing your best for your club and then you hear that you might be going to Tottenham.”

    Legend

  21. Arsene's Nurse

    Guns of brixton May 30, 2014 20:02:48

    Good.
    His pissed off.
    somebody email pedders to ban him
    ———————————————————-
    I’m happy to see people post here with alternative views if they are concise, to the point, and well argued. There is nothing wrong with taking a positive position with regard to Wenger and producing a decent argument.

    In fact it might be a good exercise for everyone and the blog if we had a “Wenger Day” seeing as he has signed a new 3 year contract. No Arsenal fan can handwave away the achievements that Wenger has or the impact that he had, not only on Arsenal, but the game in general.

    In debating, it’s often the case that someone who does not agree with a stance is given the task of defending it. I don’t wish to single anyone out, but it might be interesting to have a poster actually try and make a case.

  22. Arsene's Nurse

    kwik fit May 30, 2014 20:06:18

    I bet he wears the big long duvet coat any time he leaves the house.
    ———————
    Velcro or zipped?

  23. Cesc Appeal

    MidWest

    I have previous with one of the head douches over there from years back. Still spouting the same drivel he did back then.

  24. Arsene's Nurse

    Would love to see Wilshere have a great WC. I’m not his biggest fan as I think he has a number of flaws to his game some of which lead him into contact injuries.

    There’s no doubt he’s got talent, but I often think he’s too slow to release the ball. That tends toward him running with it too long and often losing control and then having to regain it in a challenge.

    I wish he’d use his head rather than be a slave to his heart more-often.

  25. Mike adamski

    Three years . Wow.

    Well the monkeys off our back thanks to the FA cup .
    Stadium debt looking healthy
    Puma deal kicking in
    £100m to spend

    No excuses now arsene .
    Show us your ambition and let’s challenge for the league .

    Need a back up GK
    a RB
    a DM
    A LW
    A WC striker vital

    If we start the season with jenko at right back , arteta playing as DM and a loan deal for Solomon kalou I will scream

  26. Rockypires

    You know what I enjoy watching England and I think ye guys will actually go far this time. A lot depends on Sturbridge Hoyt the net but if Rooney shows up Ye have good solid team besides an depth too. Milner or wel beck won’t win ballon dor but credit they are solid pros and do a great job. Ye will take beating.

    Ox for me before Barkley

  27. Marko

    Boo hiss 3 more years? What happened to the 2? As long as they take away the transfer policy and way in which we recruit I don’t mind. Also I think it was Kwik who said Sturridge was another gem missed by Wenger. To be fair Kwik you superb human it was City and Chelsea who really dropped the ball with regards to Sturridge.

  28. MidwestGun

    Wow, there really is some serious kool-aid drinking going on in the blogosphere today. People guaranteeing AW will win a CL in the next 3 years.
    Umm ya. Need to rein that in people. A penalty shootout win over Wigan and a come back win over Hull City for an FA Cup win is great. But we aren’t in the realm of a CL winning side.
    Giroud and Sanogoal are still the sum total of our strike force right now, last time I checked. How bout we wait and see what we do in the TW. Not exactly encouraged so far. So far AW has signed himself and sold our starting RB.

  29. rollen

    Phil’s Mum: Philip, Philly dear, dinners ready!

    [silence]

    Phil’s Mum: Come on down darling, I’ve made your favourite and I’ve put it on your favourite Arsene Wenger plate.

    Phil’s Dad: I fear for that lad. It’s great being a gooner, but his bedroom only has Wenger posters in it.

    Phil’s Mum: I’ll take him up a cup of tea.

    [she climbs the stairs and as she nears Phil’s door she can hear strange noises]

    [cue muffled groans]

    [Phil’s mum knocks on the door – no answer – she walks in]

    Phil’s Mum: Oh god! [the tea cup crashes to the floor and she rushes from the scene]

    The camera cuts to the face of a blissfully unaware Phil, a pleasurable grimace on his face, the words “mental strength” and “hand brake” can be heard from his headphones.

    Phil’s Dad: What’s wrong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost!

    Phil’s Mum: [shaking] He, he, he’s got a fleshlight. Oh god I caught him masturbating using a fleshlight with a cardboard cut out of Wenger’s face slipped over it.

    Phils’ Dad: Right that’s it, I’m going to use the parental internet controls and ban him from Positively Arsenal and Untold.

    10/10

  30. tunnygriffboy

    Wenger asked ‘should the fans expect a big summer ? ‘ ‘Yes they should expect that’. Surely that has to be good news? He’s sounding more bullish than he has in ages in my opinion.

  31. Cesc Appeal

    tunny

    He went on to his classic, “if we can find super, super quality and can get it we’ll add to the squad.”

  32. tunnygriffboy

    Cesc

    Not seen that quote tbh. It just seems to me that he is more aware of the need to strengthen the squad. I know we’ve heard this before but it just feels different this time. Who knows he may surprise us.

    Hope exams finished well. Feet up and enjoy WC looooool

  33. Cesc Appeal

    tunny

    I doubt it – how many years has Gazidis banged on about our “massive resources” or his obsession with “dry powder.”

    Wenger always, always makes sure his comments are double edged, like a politician. So, should fans expect a big summer? Yes they should.

    That sounds amazing. But…

    “What I can promise is that we work very hard in a market that is very, very congested with many people who have a lot of money. But we have a big advantage, players want to join us and if we find the right quality I’m sure we can strengthen the team.”

    That’s same old same old. We work hard. Market is congested. If we can find right quality. Heard it all before.

    Cheers on the exams, last one done yesterday…soon as i heard the invigilator say ‘pens down’ I could almost hear the cracking of beer cans and smell of the BBQ’s 😉

  34. Cesc Appeal

    Lambert, Moreno and Lallana look Liverpool bound. Liverpool starting off early. Still feel they need a CDM and a CB or two.

  35. tunnygriffboy

    Be interesting how lpool get on next season. That defence as it is will struggle in CL. Llallana 25 mill Moreno 16 mill. That’s a lot of dosh. Mad thing is we’re capable of that and more. I hope we get it right.

  36. MidwestGun

    We should be linked to every RB in the world right now and have one signed by end of next week. Sagna leaving is not exactly a shocker. Heard it all before, want to see actions.

  37. Cesc Appeal

    Moreno is a good buy, he’s got a lot of fans on here and a lot of people seem to think he could be a great player, only 21.

    Liverpool are showing though, get stuck in, straight in, no messing about.

    Is Lallana overpriced? Probably. But Liverpool want him, and Saints want £25 Million, so Liverpool have met it…that’s what you have to do sometimes. If that was us we’d have walked away.

  38. Cesc Appeal

    MidWest

    What’s worrying me is that Juanfran, who Madrid value at £15 Million we offered £9 Million for…it’s same old same old.

    We cannot carry on like that any more. And if Gazidis and Kroenke are so cowardly and inept to have not reined Wenger in with this new deal – then they deserve everything coming their way. Wenger should have zero input with negotiations and price.

  39. MidwestGun

    Cesc-
    Ya, it’s the most frustrating thing. We always hear about almost signings but never end up with anyone. And then fans defend the actions after the fact like its ok to not have a legitimate striker on the team.
    Pay the asking price. Job done. If they up the price move on.
    Oh well. Lol. Glad to hear your exams are going well.

  40. Cesc Appeal

    MidWest

    All done now thank goodness. Time for Jack and Daniels to assault the brain cells holding everything I learnt this year! Ha!

    Yeah. Thing is, we have an embarrassing strike force, loads of cash, so our needs are great and resources bountiful. We are going to HAVE to pay over market price because the selling club will know both facts.

    Just nobody carries on like we do, it’s utter craziness to allow Wenger to dictate the way he does – never works out.

  41. andy1886

    From the BBC: Liverpool have made a final offer of £25m for Southampton midfielder Adam Lallana.

    The Reds want to complete the deal swiftly or they will consider moving on to alternative transfer targets.

    The key point isn’t the amount, it’s the desire to do business early, not muck about until August 31st to save £2m. The very opposite of Wenger.

  42. Dannyboy

    So this bird that I was seeing has just told me she’s getting back with her ex..

    And here’s the punchline..

    HE’S A FUCKING GERMAN!!!

    Pedro – send me that little Fraulein’s number pronto so I can exact my revenge!!!

  43. Joe

    Phil’s mates on 7am are right wound up with my comments today.

    They are a touchy bunch. He wouldn’t of had more than 15 comments today if it wasn’t for me commenting and adding to the chatter.

    Telling me you can’t be an arsenal supporter and hate wenger. And that the 200,000 supporters that showed up at the FA cup parade showed how many people still want wenger haha

    It goes on and on

  44. Jeff

    I also occasionally go to these “other sites” but to be honest they have for the most part a one track mind. It ranges from the absolute delusional to the point of being almost demonic, to mild criticism tinged with hope that it’s all for a good cause – there is a grand plan – and that Arsene will do the right thing – eventually, whatever that may be. Most of these sites declare their undying allegiance to the manager with unshakeable faith and loyalty and will not hear or tolerate a bad word said about him, deserved or otherwise. That of course makes them very boring and any thinking fan will switch off or avoid.

    I liken the average AKB to Su Li, one of the students from the old sitcom “Mind Your Language”. If you remember, she carries Chairman Mao’s little red book everywhere and every utterance of hers sings his praises. Is it any wonder they get so little attention and comments? Even they must tire of the endless rhetoric that clearly puts Wenger above the club itself?

  45. N5

    Fuck off back to it then J. Why feel the need to write such a stupid fucking comment. If you don’t like it here then why are you here?

  46. Guns of brixton

    Then fuck off to Arseblog then mate, what kind of mug takes the time to comment on a blog just to say its crap? doesnt speak volumes bout the guy who wrote the comment at all.

  47. azed

    Wenger asked ‘should the fans expect a big summer ? ‘ ‘Yes they should expect that’. Surely that has to be good news? He’s sounding more bullish than he has in ages in my opinion.

    The last time Wenger tried to ‘surprise’ the fans we ended up with Slyvestre (sp).