I wish I had a sofa to hide behind…

by .

‘Mate, you sold my ticket?’

‘Alex, you kidding me?’


‘Who wants to level out £40 to watch a mauling?’

Now the above conversation happened this morning, and it’s a bit in jest… but really, it’s exactly what I’m thinking. It’s a late kick off, but I’m meeting a few pals nice and early so we can drink our way to a good day.

‘Pint of Gin please sir’

I’m jealous of the people who are watching at home. At least they have a sofa to hide behind.

Today, simply put, could be absolute carnage.

But, on the flip side, sometimes when a game is so against you, great things can happen.

I have many concerns about today, here they are.

Thomas Vermaelen:

The guy has hardly played a game this year. He’s rusty. Lacking in confidence. And he’s just had a bad game against Swansea. He’ll be targeted today by City because he’s a liability. It could be a disaster. Koscielny will be missed.


We’re so one paced at the moment. All over the park, we struggle to break at speed, we don’t get in behind a defence and no one overlaps. This makes us easy to defend against and make the pressing game pretty simple for City.

Strike force:

Giroud is dead on his feet and he’s not even doing the basics right at the moment. No tearing about the park, no holding up the ball and no fancy lay offs. Without top class up front, we’ll struggle to make anything happen.


Oxlade Chamberlain and Arteta versus Fernandinho and Yaya Toure. I mean, honestly, how are you seeing this one working out? They’ll have to have an absolute shocker to not win that battle.


City know what we’ll do. Why? Because we do the same thing every game. We’re predictable. There’s nothing Arsene can offer that they won’t know about. When you’re playing world class players, that’s a bad start.


We’ve taken spanking from the top four this season. We’re playing a form City off the back of a defeat and a last minute draw. The players will be playing their 3rd game in a week. We all know Arteta can’t do that. We know Giroud can’t do that at the moment. It’s going to be painful. We’re playing City for the second time this season with no energy.

What could work for us?

Wigan beat them.

That’s all I’ve got. They have inconsistencies in their game. Maybe, just maybe, they’ll be as complacent as I’ve just been. Maybe Arsene will send the boys out with a rocket up their arse. Maybe, we’ll get out title challenge back on track.

I just don’t hold out much hope.

Arsene, surprise me.

Please, dear Arsene, surprise me.

1,321 Responses to “I wish I had a sofa to hide behind…”

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  1. Inter YourGran

    Funny how every person pipping up expected us to get thumped but now because we haven’t won instead they’re still fucked off.

    You sad sacks need to get over yourselves. Must be quite draining being a miserable cunt all the time I swear.

  2. london gunner

    Wenger Eagle

    Yeah very odd season this year often times City and Chelsea have both looked like they can’t be arsed to win. They have a couple hot performances then they stroll in against certain teams and have a waltz about.

  3. Inter YourGran

    Drmic would be a great alternate option to a wc striker. Maybe wenger has seen enough to know giroud isn’t the answer.

    More likely he’ll probably get a new contract now 😆

  4. MidwestGun

    Kind of feels like I almost scored with the hot chick and woke up with her overweight friend. 🙁 again.

  5. london gunner

    Jamie redknapp strikes me as a guy who takes allot of coke

    the way he speaks very quickly and shoutily and loves the sound of his own voice.

    when ever someone else has an opinion/statement or just says a general comment he takes it as if they are agreeing with him and it always leads back to him droning on and on.

  6. Josip Skoblar

    Just back from the Emirates. Good atmosphere and we were the better side in the second half. A shame Wenger didn’t field Oxo earlier and didn’t substitute Arteta. Best Arsenal players: Roszicky and Flamini. Sagna had a good game too. I’ve lost patience with Chesney and Arteta. Gibbs so often out of position in the first half.

  7. zeus

    I would be quite amused if the guy that coined the phrase “specialist in failure” ends up with back 2 back seasons without a trophy.

  8. Adam A. Carbarundum

    HoeZay says they lost the chance to finish first based on this weekend’s performance. This guy honestly needs fitting for clown shoes. Master of semantics and purveyor of the absurd. Can anyone honestly take this guy seriously?

    Hey, my mother is Portuguese and even she says that Jose is a very little man, typical of mainland Portugal (all bravado and no substance – Mom is from Sao Miguel).

    So what to believe? I believe that Chelsea will be there come the final Sunday. What a season!!!

  9. MidwestGun

    London –
    You have no idea. 😕 The hot girls on Bourbon street in New Orleans arent always girls. Thats all I can say about that. Lol.

  10. kwik fit

    Wenger just said for the upteenth time ‘ the team has a very special mental quality’ uuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

  11. follow the money

    IYG for the record I never said I expected us to get thumped. HOWEVER, the fact is todays result does NOTHING to improve our record against the top teams. Genuine title contenders would have won today no matter the opponent. It was at home, and City obviously had a hangover from thumping Man U at Old Toilet–something we failed to do

  12. Carts

    Mildly surpises only 2 goal were scored tonight. I had 3-3, of some sort, in mind coupled with visions of an absolute mauling.

    1-1 is respectable; much needed result. Everton will be up fit it as they know a win pulls them into the mix

  13. Adam A. Carbarundum

    Hey, I’ll be the first to admit that I thought there would be a bloodbath today. Had I known that ManCity would show up disguised as a football team today, I’d have changed my opinion before hand. As I have said already, ManCity blew this one rather than Arsenal got a result. Arsenal played for a draw, ManCity played for???? If I’m a Citeh supporter, I have a lot of questions to ask.

  14. Bero

    At least that’s the last top side we have to go up against. Now, if we hold true to our flat track bully reputation and avoid banana skins, we’re a good shout for forth and the fa cup. Knowing us if we do have a banana skin it’ll be the cup and mean another trophy less year!

    Is that good enough compared to what could have been? No. If we’d bought what we needed in the summer or even January could it have been very different? Hell yes. Does Wenger have to go? Yes, but he won’t. Will it be claimed as progress? Yep.

    I do really want the fa cup and I do like champions league nights though. So it wouldn’t be all bad. The fa cup would be a great excuse to party it up with gooner friends and have something to celebrate for once about our club.

  15. MidwestGun

    As I said earlier how can you be mad at a draw if you were expecting a smashing? But still we had to beat either Chelsea or City to have a shot at the title and we didnt. So maybe 3rd? Who knows. Still doesnt change my opinion of AW tho. Or Giroud. Lol.

  16. Hitman

    Our next Manager will win us a shed load of trophies. IMO.
    Wenger is the obstacle to success.

    So why prolong the agony for everyone by giving him a 2 year ext?
    There should be no place for sentimentality in football.
    Gazidis is a fake CEO who is just as bad as Wenger for failing to take the tough decisions when required.

  17. gnarleygeorge9

    I see where John Terry was so determined to be involved in the Crystal Palace celebrations, he scored the goal for them 😆

  18. jwl

    I was expecting us to be mullered so a draw is acceptable.

    Nice to be able to download motd tonight, haven’thad reason to watch in a few weeks and I miss watching weekend’s highlights.

  19. kwik fit

    Jan Aage Fjortoft ‏@JanAageFjortoft 3 hrs
    My #sky colleague Lothar Matthäus just said on Sky: -Drmic’s wife has been looking for an appartment in London. Drmic will be Arsenal-player

    I wonder what she looks like. Can;t wait 😉

  20. Musketeer

    Adam A. Carbarundum
    March 29, 2014 19:40:17
    Wenger should not take many positives from this match. ManCity underwhelmed, Arsenal simply survived. Anyone care to dispute?

    City were tired throughout that 2nd half and were there for the taking, AW should have gambled sooner, I actually thought he was playing it safe for 4th then he made subs around the 75th minute.

  21. Wengers Plastic Bottle

    kwik fitMarch 29, 2014 20:06:32
    Jan Aage Fjortoft ‏@JanAageFjortoft 3 hrs
    My #sky colleague Lothar Matthäus just said on Sky: -Drmic’s wife has been looking for an appartment in London. Drmic will be Arsenal-player

    Shush don’t tell Giroud

  22. Hunter

    After a terrible first half the boys at least showed up for the second half.Good performances from BFG,Rosicky,Santiago,Poldi,Flamini and Sagna,I thought Chezza was woefull as was Gibbs and Vermalen but the two worst players by far we’re Arteta and that complete waste of space OG,that has to be one of the worst performances by an Arsenal Centre Forward I have ever witnessed.To say he was useless was a compliment and why did that madman of a Manager keep him on the pitch so long?To me they were important points dropped which only gives Everton the chance to grap fourth.To be honest the team we have got at the moment don’t deserve to be in the champions league at all,we won’t win it and will do our usual by going out in the quarter finals!

  23. WengerEagle

    Drmic would be a step in the right direction only if he was our 2nd choice ST next season and was Bendtner’s replacement. I’d be all in favour of it then as he looks a very decent player on Youtube and actually has pace.

    We still desperately need a Costa calibre striker to replace Zoolander.

  24. salparadisenyc

    Please tell me that Girouds replacement, this Drmić bloke will be the 2nd striker to our main signing. Benzema my choice, I know he’s on a blinder for Madrid, but something tells me that mentalist Perez is going all in for Suarez.

  25. Thank you and goodnight

    No worries, I’ve plenty of porn and alcohol so hopefully might raise a little smile if nothing else☺

  26. Childish Gambino

    Forget ‘hold up play’ we lack pace up front. All we need is sb with a decent first touch, blistering pace, ok dribbling and good finishing. Giroud can no longer be our first team striker. Utter madness

  27. Thomas

    WengerEagle March 29, 2014 20:15:02

    Wenger’s recent striker signings have actually been shocking when you look at them:



    Absolutely terrible. We went from Wright, Bergkamp, Henry and RvP to this shit. *smh*

  28. WengerEagle

    ‘Please tell me that Girouds replacement, this Drmić bloke will be the 2nd striker to our main signing. Benzema my choice, I know he’s on a blinder for Madrid, but something tells me that mentalist Perez is going all in for Suarez.’

    We definitely seem to have like minds alright mate, I also love Benzema and think he’ll be a possibility this summer.

    If Benzema and Drmic replaced Giroud and Bendtner I’d be fucking ecstatic.

  29. jwl


    Spot on about Drmic, if he’s coming he should be second choice, or third behind Giroud. Buying world class striker who will score 30+ goals season has to be priority. Liverpool punching above their weight this season and it due to their strikers.

    I also wonder about Puma deal. Strikers sell most shirts, I wonder if Puma puts pressure on club to sign proper striker who excite fans enough to buy shirts.

  30. bazza

    Just got back from the game. I thought the boys gave it their all. The two little men were superb as well as Flamini.
    Tactically Wenger got it right this time. Despite some of the comments Arteta played well as did most of the team (except Giroud).
    I’m beginning to think that some of you are so blinded by your hatred of Wenger that you’ve lost all sense of balance.

  31. bergkamplegend

    Just come home and saw the result, pretty good surprise actually.

    Wenger say we are mentaly strong, well with results like 3-6, 1-5 or 0-6 you can hardly prove him wrong on this point.

    Gazidis will made the anounce soon, it would be a huge mistake to get rid of such an amazing manager.

    We are trully fucked, but that is not a scoop anymore.

  32. kwik fit

    Nothing blind about us Bazza its just years and years of failure that cements our opinions. The guys did well today , just a pity the Manager couldn’t have got us a striker with pace.

  33. Childish Gambino

    All we need to do is buy a DM, another CM to replace Kim K, a RW, two CFs (one world class and one average) and two CBs. Then we can compete.

    I dont mind such a team next season.

    Micah Richards– Mert– Kos- – Gibbs
    Mikel Obi— Ramsey
    Walcott— Ozil—Draxler

    2nd team:

    New GK
    Corchia–New CB–New CB—Monreal

    Others: Gnabry, Giroud, Arterta, Sanogo,

  34. WengerEagle

    Childish Gambino

    Lol mate Micah Richards has been gash for years. Would be a significant downgrade on Sagna.

    Agree with Costa and Draxler but why Obi Mikel for CDM?

    We should be aspiring for better than a Chelsea squad player as our starting CDM.

  35. bazza

    You’ve missed my point. Like you, I also think it’s time for Wenger to go, but I also enjoy supporting my team. There’s something pathetic following a game like tonight when virtually all of the comments here just slag off Vermaelen, Gibbs, Arteta, Giroud, Chezza and Wenger. Hence my comment about keeping a sense of balance.

  36. WengerEagle

    ‘For those of you who have Bein Sports, who is the annoying little voice that is on the La Liga matches? He’s not only annoying, but he’s not even intelligent.’

    Hahahahaha are you talking about the one and only Ray Hudson?

    Does he have a Geordie accent and spout eccentric similes at a disturbing rate?

  37. WengerEagle

    ‘Abydiginal perhaps? Derek’s translation of Aboriginal. Are we back on course, my friend?’

    Lol mate I’m sorry, on a totally different wavelength here. Who’s Derek?

  38. MidwestGun

    Adam –
    That be Ray Hudson. I actually find him amusing as hell but hes lost his voice from the Classico last week. His metaphors are unbelievable.

    But he’s good in very small doses.

  39. bergkamplegend

    Same Story : Costa will go to a team with a great manager and a strong squad build to win titles.
    On what planet are you living guys ???

  40. WengerEagle


    Wait till you watch a Barca match with Ray Hudson commentary.

    If you drank for every time he used the phrase ‘Messi magic’ or affectionately referred to the Barca players by their first names you’d be in the A&E ward after the match.

  41. zeus

    Drmic is 21. Sounds plausible. Never heard of him and young. wenger can take all the credit.

    I personally don’t really give a shit as long as we add pace and power to the team.

    Add Ross Barkley to the list as well.

  42. WengerEagle


    Hahahahaha ah right that makes sense. Had to look up Zoolander to see his first name was Derek! It’s been years since I have seen it so I apologise 😀

  43. Childish Gambino

    @Wenger Eagle

    Just looking for cheap alternatives to plug holes in the squad. There are so many good players that will be free agents or surplus to requirements in the summer.

    Akinfeev, Sagna, Kaboul (lol), Fernando, Mikel Obi, Menez, etc. I cant think of many but that’ll be very good business

  44. WengerEagle

    ‘Or uses the word magisterial.’

    Haha very true.

    Ever seen the one where he starts talking about Sergio Ramos’ nipples? Definitely my favourite one that.

  45. Adam A. Carbarundum

    No problems, my good man. Just saw the movie the other day on the tele…had a great laugh (re. the Got the Black Lung Pop, from working a few hours in the coal mine).

    Hey great day today, Arsenal were not humiliated and Wenger cannot claim any level of success with consideration they played for a draw. All is good…good times!

  46. WengerEagle

    Childish Gambino

    Menez is a great shout for a squad option. Very decent wideman who would provide us with plenty of pace and trickery from the wings. Fernando too is an excellent shout and he’d be on a free.

  47. MidwestGun

    WE –
    Ray just started talking about Costa holding his groin, had me worried. Lol

    ……waiting for the simile.

  48. follow the money

    @WengerEagle and do you know why Wenger’s striker signings have been shocking? Because strikers cost money! Get the cheap fucker out. No More Sanogos. No More L’Oreals Chamakhs Parks etc etc etc etc

  49. Adam A. Carbarundum

    BTW…I thank you all today for the wonderful humour and conversation. My wife and I lost our beloved Shetland Sheepdog on Tuesday, he gave us 13 wonderful years of loyalty and unconditional love, before succumbing to Liver Disease. Today I understood why my wife did not want to go, she needs me as I need her, we miss our Kelti. We have our Billee, who is a 2 year old Shetland Sheepdog and I must admit that even he has been visibly down since his Uncle has passed on (amazing how they know). I thank you all today for your conversation, as I admit that my heart is still heavy – I miss my puppy of puppies.

    Take care all and its great that Arsenal got a point when none was expected. Live on another day!

  50. follow the money

    Wenger will probably sign Anelka again now that no one wants him. Another “project” for Professor Blinko

  51. MidwestGun

    Later Adam. Sorry to hear bout your puppy went through the same thing last year. 15 years my canine buddy had to put him down.

  52. tunnygriffboy

    Hi all. Just come on and I’m giggling like a good un. After such a bad week all we now interested in is the size of Drmic’s wife’s tits looooooooooookl !

    Much better tonight thank god. The played for the shirt especially 2nd half. Thumbs up to TV , BFG, Sagna, Rosicky, Flamester and Santi. Could be an important point. Lifts the gloom a smidgen loooooooooooool.

  53. Leedsgunner

    Mixed emotions. Thankful that we didn’t get another hiding but frustrated that we didn’t take all three points at home. Rueing even more the dropped points to Stoke and Swansea — 4 more points we would right in there! Credit where credit is due well done for standing your ground. Let’s get maximum points from now and hope our rivals drop some more.

  54. WengerEagle


    Sorry about your dog passing mate. It’s never easy to lose a loved family pet so I hope you and your wife are coping and wish you the best for the future. 😀

  55. Adam A. Carbarundum

    Thank you so very much, WengerEagle…We are, but there is an empty place for sure but Billee seems to recognize that he’s the top dog now. He’s a cool and hilarious little fellow, where Kelti was the Perry Como of the Sheltie World.

    Thank you again.

  56. MidwestGun

    Dr mic. Lol I like it just so we can start some doctor jokes if nothing else. He looks a you tube warrior tho.

  57. salparadisenyc

    Reus with a hat trick after Dortmund going down by two. Can we just sign this man? This side has some goals in it.

    ________L Bender_______Ramsay____



  58. Adam A. Carbarundum

    @Karim, I am cheered up. I suppose now you know why I was the way I was last Sunday. We knew the end was near and were hoping beyond hope that somehow things could be different. Sorry my friend if I ever offended you.

  59. bergkamplegend

    Thomas : “Costa would look like shit under Wenger.”

    LOL so true!!

    Oh and by the way the real good news of the day is the chelsea loss, they certainly won’t be champs == >> feel sorry for the special cunt!! lol

  60. karim

    Drmic is 21 and has already scored 15 goals in 26 games for Nuremberg, keeping them out of the drop zone

    He scored a brace against Denmark with the Swiss a few weeks ago if i m not mistaken

    Sounds ok really

  61. Adam A. Carbarundum

    Hey, I’ll take an Arsenal draw against the “mighty” Man City (as if). To be honest I hoped that we would avoid a blood bath and true to form, we showed up with pride and heart. Any other year we would win such a match, but it is what it is and I personally will take it.

  62. WengerEagle

    Drmic’s stats do make for impressive reading for a 21 year old to be fair, 16 Bundesliga goals in 26 apps for a relegation threatened Nurnberg and 2 goals in 5 apps for Switzerland.

    Like I said, if he comes in as our 2nd choice ST I’d be ecstatic.

  63. R.S.P.C.Arsenal

    Nine years and we’ve won fuck all
    Nine years and we’ve won fuck all
    Nine years and we’ve won fuck all
    Nine years and we’ve won fuck all
    Nine years and we’ve won fuck all
    Nine years and we’ve won fuck all
    Nine years and we’ve won fuck all
    Nine years and we’ve won fuck all
    Nine years and we’ve won fuck all
    Nine years and we’ve won fuck all
    Nine years and we’ve won fuck all
    Nine years and we’ve won fuck all
    Nine years and we’ve won fuck all
    Nine years and we’ve won fuck all
    Nine years and we’ve won fuck all

    Nine years and you still won’t leave