I wish I had a sofa to hide behind…

by .

‘Mate, you sold my ticket?’

‘Alex, you kidding me?’


‘Who wants to level out £40 to watch a mauling?’

Now the above conversation happened this morning, and it’s a bit in jest… but really, it’s exactly what I’m thinking. It’s a late kick off, but I’m meeting a few pals nice and early so we can drink our way to a good day.

‘Pint of Gin please sir’

I’m jealous of the people who are watching at home. At least they have a sofa to hide behind.

Today, simply put, could be absolute carnage.

But, on the flip side, sometimes when a game is so against you, great things can happen.

I have many concerns about today, here they are.

Thomas Vermaelen:

The guy has hardly played a game this year. He’s rusty. Lacking in confidence. And he’s just had a bad game against Swansea. He’ll be targeted today by City because he’s a liability. It could be a disaster. Koscielny will be missed.


We’re so one paced at the moment. All over the park, we struggle to break at speed, we don’t get in behind a defence and no one overlaps. This makes us easy to defend against and make the pressing game pretty simple for City.

Strike force:

Giroud is dead on his feet and he’s not even doing the basics right at the moment. No tearing about the park, no holding up the ball and no fancy lay offs. Without top class up front, we’ll struggle to make anything happen.


Oxlade Chamberlain and Arteta versus Fernandinho and Yaya Toure. I mean, honestly, how are you seeing this one working out? They’ll have to have an absolute shocker to not win that battle.


City know what we’ll do. Why? Because we do the same thing every game. We’re predictable. There’s nothing Arsene can offer that they won’t know about. When you’re playing world class players, that’s a bad start.


We’ve taken spanking from the top four this season. We’re playing a form City off the back of a defeat and a last minute draw. The players will be playing their 3rd game in a week. We all know Arteta can’t do that. We know Giroud can’t do that at the moment. It’s going to be painful. We’re playing City for the second time this season with no energy.

What could work for us?

Wigan beat them.

That’s all I’ve got. They have inconsistencies in their game. Maybe, just maybe, they’ll be as complacent as I’ve just been. Maybe Arsene will send the boys out with a rocket up their arse. Maybe, we’ll get out title challenge back on track.

I just don’t hold out much hope.

Arsene, surprise me.

Please, dear Arsene, surprise me.

1,321 Responses to “I wish I had a sofa to hide behind…”

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  1. Johnty79

    Arsenal win when the pressures off. Typical cowards.

    Arsenal owe Chelsea a lot. If Chelsea had of won then city would of spanked us. Cowards.

    Well get forth but I prey Man U win the champs league.
    This club does not deserve champs league.

    Another disgraceful summer in transfer awaits us. God is punishing us because we deserve to be punished.

    No ambition and wenger in charged. C’mon god give city a last minute winner. Please please…..

  2. DaleDaGooner

    Why is Cazorla playing soo deep?? He’s turned awful flamini playing more forward than him, he needs to emulate Silva and stop hiding

  3. Thank you and goodnight

    Who wouldn’t recognise a turd from a nugget in his cereal…

    Ha ha ha. Gave me a good laugh that. Anyways we should be happy, so far we’re winning the ” city haven’t scored 5 against us trophy”

  4. Johnty79

    Just had a thought. Why aren’t we allowed to sell our champs league place to man utd??? 30m and then we can concentrate getting back in it next year.

    Realistically I believe it should be allowed.

    After all all arsenal care about is money.

  5. Thank you and goodnight

    Giroud off to apply his mascara and hair gel now. Bless our french Sunday League striker.

  6. Craigy

    Wenger constantly brings our subs on too late, you have to give em time to get in to the game, so with 1 minute to go where tearing em apart, wenger is a dirty cunt

  7. bergkamp63

    Adam A. Carbarundum March 29, 2014 19:16:19
    The Vampire is about to strike…got his wings out!!!

    Made me laugh that !

  8. Johnty79

    Wenger is playing averagely shit because he knows he is the only option upfront.

    He should of been back up this year not first choice.

    Not his fault but wengers fault.

    Worse football club in world since 2003. No ambition no hope.


  9. TitsMcgee

    Good job boys. You didn’t lose but you didn’t win either.

    Played the best we could and still only drew.

    2 points from last 9.

  10. Adam A. Carbarundum

    I asked for respectability and that a draw was like a win…I’ll take it any day of the week against a team that is funded by Daddy Oil Bucks! No credit to Wenger, but full credit to the lads for showing heart!!!!

  11. Thank you and goodnight

    I still think it’s Chelsea ‘ s title to lose. Even when we were poor in first half I wasn’t overly impressed with shitty. Without aguero they are not the same team.

  12. Charlie Boy

    Joe: Can’t help but wonder how different this title race may have been for Arsenal if they’d brought a striker in January!

    Josh: It speaks volumes that City replace Dzeko with Negredo… while Arsenal swap Giroud with Sanogo. Squad depth is key.

  13. london gunner

    We are like a flaccid penis no penetration.

    We simply can’t create quality chances, all the “flash” little passing means nothing unless it translates to shots on goal. To real genuine goal scoring opportunities.

  14. Adam A. Carbarundum

    Must say, Man City blew a perfect opportunity. Its Liverpools opp tomorrow and they have a good one with an indifferent Spuds on the slate. ManCity will regret this one above all others. They had a down and out Arsenal and simply blew it.

  15. TitsMcgee

    Why can’t we summon that effort we saw in the second half more often?

    Because we don’t play at home every week.

    On the road they shit themselves.

  16. follow the money

    that point will probably assure us of fourth. I just can’t believe how lucky Wenger is when it comes to holding on to his precious fourth place trophy.

  17. MidwestGun

    Well played the final 30 minutes, finally some effort. Can’t be mad at a draw when I was expecting a smash. Really awesome effort by Rosicky was everywhere. Only person im mad at is Giroud. Hes still crap. And Arsene for making him our only striker.

  18. Jeff

    That wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. We played with heart and desire, especially in the second half. If Giroud was even half decent we would have won that game and we’d probably be 6 points better off than we are now. Not bad is the final result but we are definitely out of the league running now I would say.

  19. Bero

    Top four mediocrity for another year people. Wenger played for that draw clear as day once we got the go. Showed where his priority is. He’s not a winner anymore and hasn’t been for years. Just proves it week in week out. No hunger, no competitive bite, no unquenchable spirit.

    Wenger out. Klopp in… Never going to happen but still my dream scenario.

  20. F4phantomphreak

    Well 1 point is better than zippo! Still think if he would’ve brought Ox on earlier and he had more time I think we could’ve pinched a 2-1 win

  21. shad

    Maybe if we had a striker instead of a banged up dildo up front we’d have got 3 points. A draw is a fair result. Leaves us in perfect contention for the 4th place trophy. Sick and tired of watching our flat pace and Arteta screwing up simple play. Wenger has to go this summer, regardless if we win the FA cup or not.

  22. Johnty79

    Jeff u are deluded.

    This repeadly happens. We get a results when it doesn’t a matter.

    Arsenal don’t deserve champs league.

    Everton with a wage bill half our own do.

  23. telarse

    Such a pity Arsene didn’t try pace earlier – I really don’t like us doing Liverpool a favour but, I suppose, a point makes a slight difference to 4th place trophy success.

  24. salparadisenyc

    Much better result than ever envisioned. Rosicky and Cazorla were very good.
    Cant help but think if AW was tad bit braver in selection wed of won.

  25. gnarleygeorge9

    “I still think it’s Chelsea ‘ s title to lose”

    Maureen won’t win a thing this year. Karma has a target the size of Manchester Utd’s debt on that grey headed little Cnut 😈

  26. Adam A. Carbarundum

    @SpanishDave…You know it, big time. Imagine if we still had a RVP’ish type striker, 4th place would be a failure. But then again, with Bela Lugosi-Wenger at the helm, we’d sill somehow find 4th – it’s like Groundhog Day all over again.

  27. MidwestGun

    Adam –
    Sorry wasnt YOU. was me was wearing my lucky Michael Jordan Bulls championship underwear which never loses. 😀

  28. Craigy

    What’s with all this 75th min subs every game, it just doesn’t make sense, we are now officially in a top 4 battle now, it’s beyond pathetic

  29. TitsMcgee

    such a shame that due to poor tactics and frugality we won’t win the league this year.

    It was there for the taking and we blew it.

  30. Relieable sauce

    MC don’t deserve to win the PL after that performance.

    Another poor PL season & we’re still fighting for 4th.

  31. TooMuchCesc

    London Gooner

    You are right. We pass, pass, pass with no penetration. The technical term for that is PASSTURBATION!

  32. Jeff


    I was stating that we won fourth place, not whether or not we deserved it. But I’d like to know what I’m deluded about as you didn’t really make it clear.

  33. follow the money

    This is a snore. It happens EVERY season; when it comes time to seize the day and grab the glory, we fail spectacularly. Then when we are essentially out of the trophy race we pull a couple of decent performances out of our hat. That is stagnation friends, and we reek of it. Wenger OUT no matter what

  34. Johnty79

    U all sucked in. When we get a result when it doesn’t matter.

    This club deserves where we r. When hull school us ull all change your option on wenger.

  35. R.S.P.C.Arsenal

    Really people pleased

    Yet again we fail to turn over a top 4 team

    A draw an moderate press coverage will ensure that wenger is excused a harder time ,

    He is a shocking manager in the modern game

  36. salparadisenyc


    I think Liverpool may pull a surprise this season. Rodgers echoing Wenger in 98.
    Their on a rampage not lost in the league since late December, all in their hands at home.

  37. gnarleygeorge9

    If you ask Maureen whether he’d take 4th place & the FA Cup, he’d say it’s better than the jack shit my over paid mercenaries will get this year.

  38. TitsMcgee

    This is a snore. It happens EVERY season; when it comes time to seize the day and grab the glory, we fail spectacularly. Then when we are essentially out of the trophy race we pull a couple of decent performances out of our hat. ”


  39. Radio Raheem

    I’ll back us to win all 6 left now and with an FA Cup we’ll end the season on high. The support for Wenger will be high and you’ll get most fans begging Wenger to sign on for life. Then we’ll sign 1 or 2 in the summer…yeah you know how this goes.

  40. Bamford13

    Not a bad performance, all things considered. Gibbs and Santi were both quite good, and Rosicky and Flamini played with heart and energy. Though poor defensively, Podolski remains one of our best attacking players in the final third.

    Sadly, Giroud is as useless as ever, and we’re missing too many of our best assets.

    I’m not persuaded City was playing all that intensely today, however. They seemed to have turned off in the second half.

  41. Adam A. Carbarundum

    Damn those Fruit of the Looms @midwestgun….Please don’t tell me you have the undershirt that has that never sag collar? I can’t take 1 point and a never sag collar and not gone through my 12 pack in a match!!! 🙂

  42. MidwestGun

    Ummm I kissed my Thierry Henry autographed picture? Lol. Ya I got nothing for the Gooner boxers. 🙁

    Take the point but if only we had a striker. Had to win at Chelsea or today so title over in my opinion.

  43. london gunner

    I actually think our performance today is a disgrace, why?

    Because we could of put that kind of performance that kind of heart fight and passion in against Chelsea and Liverpool when it mattered.

    Its the same every season we fail when we need to win and when we have nothing left to lose we put in a performance it is the epitome of a bottler.

    A bottler isn’t some one whose zero talent and never performs a bottler is someone who fails when they need to succeed most.

    Its like when we beat Bayern once again it was little to late. Yet this will be used as a mask to disguise the fact we aren’t progressing

  44. Craigy

    Telarse…… Init m8, I think every fan in the stadium and watching at home knew he should’ve brought the pace on when we had citeh rocking, 1 problem the only fucker in the world didn’t think so, wenger lacks so much ambition it’s not even funny, his incompetent decisions are destroying our chances, it’s hard enough with giroud and arteta as it is, wenger just doesn’t have the bottle or desire to take us forward! He’s terrified to make game changing decisions, it’s embarrassing

  45. Bamford13

    Drmic rumors are interesting. Just watched highlights of the kid. No question he is very, very skillful, and he looks pretty athletic as well. Hard to say, though, what he would look like in the EPL.

    Looks a genuine talent, though.

  46. Radio Raheem


    It’s really hard to call mate. Even with Suarez and Sturridge I ‘m just not convinced about them though I’d prefer if they won it. I think Chelsea will shut them out and City have enough in them take advantage of their defensive errors.

  47. kwik fit

    The guys put up a great show but we are severely lacking up top. City were there for the taking and we seem content with a point. A win would have put us back in with a sniff. Do not understand why Gnarby was not throw in at the end. His pace could have scared the shit out of their back line.