It’s difficult not to give our keeper a high five mentally when you read that he tried to convince Robert Lewandowski to join us last season.
‘We had several talks about this. It was him who did most of
the talking, how the club looks inside, what Arsène Wenger thinks of me.’
Great work Chezzer. We’ll still need a chat though, because ultimately you failed. We can’t accept failure these days. We’ve put Manonne on alert, so start speaking to your best pal Robert about a new club. You total embarrassment.
Anyway, onto other things… such as the Le Grove app. So excusing the dreadful button cover that will change when Apple sign off the next update, its purpose is to bring all the social channels and the blog under one roof. Ultimately, it’s been pulled together for you, if you like it, I’ll roll it out across poor people devices.
Just kidding, I love all the phones.
Arsenal have taken revenge on the poverty preachers of Liverpool by slamming them with a little over half their entitlement for the FA Cup game. They’ve cited safety… they don’t want dangerous Liverpool fans standing in the upper tiers, so they’ve given them less tickets. Sounds like a load of nonsense if you ask me. Feels more like getting fans back for slating the cost. Spirit of Shankly, which sounds like a very expensive whiskey said…
“[We] have immediately re-written to both clubs to ask them to explain this decision, given the absurdity that a football club can designate an area as being available to away supporters yet then raise fears over potential safety issues.”
Football fans are a funny old lot, one week we’re hearing how many hours a Liverpool fan working in a kebab shop would have to work to afford an Arsenal ticket (14.73 for a £93 ticket), the next we’re hearing how they’re disgusted with their allocation they would have no doubt devoured.
You can’t have it both ways!
Anyway, it is what it is. It’ll make for a slightly less frenetic atmosphere, which is a shame, but hey, what can you do? I don’t really have an opinion on this.
I’ve been reading some of the fan groups talking about how we can up the noise level in the stadium to the terrific heights the Crystal Palace fans achieve. The answer… cheaper tickets. This is such a tired argument. Arsenal lowered the ticket prices to £10 at the Carling Cup game and the noise levels were dreadful.
‘NOISE IS THE PRESERVE OF POOR PEOPLE’
… seems to be the consensus. I mean, come on people, the issue isn’t that we don’t have enough cheap tickets. Men in their fifties have a lot of cash, but so do guys in their twenties! No mortgage, no kids… just beer to worry about. Cheaper tickets aren’t going to raise the roof. Things that might…
Safe standing: This would be bloody marvellous. Rockstars don’t sing sitting down, unless they’re Marti Pellow from Wet Wet Wet… but hey, I’m not sure he constitutes a rockstar.
Singing Sections: We should round up all 50,000 season ticket holders, who, on Twitter, state they’re the only singers in their block, and lump them in one section. Then they have to sing. What a great idea. Problem is, people don’t want to have to move elsewhere…
Pre-game experience: There is no pre-game experience at Arsenal. There is no reason to get me into the ground any earlier than 1455. This is a problem. Arsenal should take on the idiots (or capitalist legends that know how to strike an incredibly lazy deal) that run Delaware and allow independents to offer food outside the ground. Make it a damn carnival. Get Ray Parlour running a fan Q&A on a stage, have Piebury Corner offering Piedolski’s and craft beer… utilise that area and give families and normal people a reason to turn up earlier.
This could be our DHL Training kit moment. If Delaware can’t be bothered to inspect the disgusting state of their anemic food, take the good food outside. What’s the worst that could happen? We upset a catering giant who don’t care about quality food or service? A company that is quite happy to get fat off a ridiculous 25 year deal that basically entails zero improvement incentive?
Honestly, if I were Arsenal, I’d be pulling every trick in the book to make them suffer. But hey, that’s just me… but suppliers are partners until they start screwing over your customer base. Then they are the enemy… and you make them pay through the loopholes.
… always exploit the loopholes.
VuVuZelas: What happened to those? Let’s get them in the stadium! The sound of a 42 stone man humming sweet tunes on South Africa’s finest export outside of Charlize Theron. Could noise get any better? Most certainly not.
Flares: Now, total curve ball here, but when Everton + Bayern played us at home, some cheeky scamp let of a flare. Aside from the fury that raged inside me because the flagrant disregard for health and safety, the light smoke that smouldered across the ground gave the stadium a war like atmosphere (apologies to the armed forces here, I’ve like, only been to war once, and it was the World Of Warcraft convention in 2002). How about flares let off safely pregame… we could have a show… get some dancers in, do some flares… it’d be banging.
What isn’t going to change things:
Cheaper tickets: There is no study that correlates minimum wage with noise. Sorry, it’s a romantic notion, but passion for football is not dependent on wealth. When I sorted out a ticket for my pal mark when we were about 20-21, he lumped it on a credit card. Could he afford it, probably not? Did he regret it… 100% doubtful. When you’re young, you’ll find a way if you have the desire.
… I’m still counting the cost of Kavos 1999, both financially, and venereally.
Flags: That flag that goes over my head before the game, which is the picture at the top of the screen gets on my tits big time. I don’t feel it rouses me in anyway shape or form. It hacks me off because the muppet behind me tries to hold onto it when the stewards bring it in… it was funny, like, say, the first 18 times he did that.
A Drum: Dear god, please don’t bring a drum to the game.
Megaphoners: Dortmund have a megaphone master on what looks like each block. I quite like the idea of someone leading the march, however, I’m not sure how fans would respond to it. I’m half and half on this one…
Anyway, there are my suggestions, you don’t like them… do one.
Just jokes, share your ideas in the comments…