BIG DEAL announcement today | The German takeover…

by .


(To be read in the thick set NYC accent)

Happy Monday morning f*ckers.

Sorry, I watched Wolf of Wall Street last night, so today, my working session is about maximising cash, taking c*caine and buying hookers for the office. So do mind the language and please accept my apologies for any middle fingers I show if I hear bleatings of 3% ticket increases.

Arsenal are making big f*cking cash from these broads over at Puma. Those motherf*ckers have been stupid enough to dish us out a massive wedge of cash over what is rumoured to be 5 years. Now, I’m assuming that this is what the 1730 press conference today is about, because I was invited. Clearly, it’s not going to be the one where Wenger puts pen to f*cking paper on his very own big money new deal.

This Puma deal is massive because it puts big dollars in our bank account and it gives us a enough cash to make PROFIT each year. If you follow the money scene as closely as we do, you’ll know that currently, if all goes well, we barely break even year on year. In Wall Street, there would be profit warnings and spooked markets left right and centre… because Arsenal wouldn’t be doing well. This deal kick starts the cash influx, which should be closely followed by the deal with Emirates.

Basically, we’re filthy rich. Well, not as filthy rich as United are, but not many in Europe are (from an income perspective at least), however, this money should kick start the sort of signings that made United the monster they are today. Deals like Draxler and Ozil can now happen every summer without the need of a sugar daddy. That works from a financial fair play perspective and it works from a fan perspective. Because for some reason, we’d much rather the success of our club came from our pockets, than the pockets of someone who has sold oil to propagate wealth.

Just kidding. I’m an Arsenal fan, the sustainable model is more arousing to me than 10 minutes in a dark room with an incognito web browser on.

The interesting thing about the Puma deal is that they are obviously German, we are obviously making a huge switch in the type of players we bring in… because, well, they’re all German. We have a double core these days. The German core that compliments the English core. I love it. Germany is one of my favourite places, I have a loose understanding of the language and now I have an excuse to bark ‘Arsenal‘ at German people when I’m over there. They love it in the same way French and Spanish people used to. Come on, don’t pretend you didn’t do it…


Football, the language of Europe.

Patrick Vieira has been in the press saying nice things about Arsenal for once. Today, he picked out Ramsey as the form player in the league.

“At the start of the season he was fantastic because of the number of goals he scored from midfield, but also the number of goals he created,”

Nice to hear that coming from a great, especially as the explosive midfielder is close to return. It’s been fairly plain sailing without him over the last few weeks, but having him back means we can rest others. It also means he’s had an enforced winter break, which will hopefully be a massive benefit.

We’re shaping up outrageously well at the moment when it comes to midfield. Well, from a future perspective. We have Chamberlain who has bags of potential, as well as the talents of Zelalem and the exciting Crowley. The only area that needs some TLC in the summer is that box to box player that we’re going to have issues with as Flamini slows down and Arteta moves into his 32nd year. I’d love us to sign a Vidal or Pogba. I’d also be excited to sign Cabaye… though if we could get someone younger like Ginter or Bender. Well, we’d be a pretty powerful outfit.

Right, that’s me done for today, have a fabulous f*cking day and make sure it’s cash heavy and fuelled.


P.S. Margot Robbie…? Move over Meagan and Mila.



669 Responses to “BIG DEAL announcement today | The German takeover…”

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  1. El Tel

    The only fat fuckers are Frank Lumplard, Wayne Looney and that thing called the Hulk.

    The Spuds also have a few fat bastards but I don’t know their names. That little wanker who tripped up when Rosicky scored is a right little porker.

    The Ox and Gnabry are hardly fat they are maybe barrel chested.

  2. El Tel

    Good response from Wenger to Moaninhio. He stated facts instead of fiction.

    Of course the papers are saying Moaninhio is winning the mind games the cunts.

    I love it when Wenger gets into a spat as it means we are competing.

    The recent love in with that Jock cunt sickened me.

  3. Norfolk

    Toli83January 27, 2014 22:43:01
    Does anyone else have the feeling we won’t get anyone?

    I felt that way before the window opened and I have seen nothing to make me change my mind.
    In fairness to AW, he leaves it until the last minute so there is always a possibility he has something up his sleeve.
    We won’t have long to wait now.

  4. Toli83


    Hard to second him isn’t it, depends how much he wants it and believes in the signings he can make.

    At the beginning on the season the fans were very much against him in the ground and he has turned that around massively. If we leave the transfers and don’t act – he could be back to square one again.

    I genuinely believe with a few fresh legs/faces we would be in a great position of winning league, over to you Arsene (please!!!!).

  5. Toli83


    On paper UTD should have got points against most teams like their upcoming games but fell short, by no means a given with them these days.

  6. samsensible

    I’ll have you know it was samsensible that came up with the Romford’s statue line and I’ll not have the credit for my art taken by anyone.

    I’m puzzled by some of the dismissive Carrick comments. Holy shit, the geezer has been in 3 Champions League finals and won too many league trophies for me to bear counting. The whole point about that position is that you snuff out danger, that your positioning can stop a counter attack before it has begun; it’s the little details that make someone effective in that position not big meaty challenges. Him, Xabi Alonso, Busquets… those boys sit and mop up and let others grab the headlines.

  7. Leedsgunner

    In danger of stating the obvious, if we are not going to sign anyone now let’s get the best player available regardless of their nationality in the summer. In other words as nice as the German core, the British core and the French core is at our club, we have to make sure they all strive to work together and fight for one cause. Let’s acquire him on his ability first and passport second. We don’t want to send the signal out that there are massive cliques in the dressing room and that others who are outside these groups are not welcome.

    The signal has to be if you’re good enough you belong here.

  8. Nasri's Mouth


    I think there was / is definite interest in Draxler, but I doubt we’re offering enough to Schalke to persuade them to sell in Jan, (the release clause doesn’t kick into the summer) and it makes sense for them to keep him.

    Come the summer, we can offer the release clause (along with Bayern et al) and if he wants to come to us rather than go elsewhere we’ll get him

  9. samsensible

    NM Schalke are inevitably going to ask for the moon as part of the Dance. Nothing they say proves anything.

    My gut feeling is that this move won’t happen. We will need to move fast when the window opens again and hope that JD doesn’t play like a Demon between now and then.

  10. N5

    Ha ha, my apologise to everyone concerned and of course I will cover any damages. It was so long ago now my mind is fuzzy with facts. In fact I’m not sure if it wasn’t Bigfoot’s statue.

  11. salparadisenyc

    Wenger’s bringing someone in. Would be brave pointing towards mental to announce PUMA income, then charge into that fixture list with realistically a sole striker. With the title, FA cup to play for. Walcott enhances need, minus his 20+ goals.

    No idea whom, Tello on loan? Surely the man didn’t go to Valencia for the Tapas.

  12. Cesc Appeal


    Yeah a friend and I were talking, he’s football mad, lives it.

    He said he was reading that Wenger is likely to try and do something on the last day with Draxler, playing on the fact he’s nursing an injury, doesn’t want to be at Schalke anymore and wants to go to Arsenal. Maybe a £30 Million…

    It’s dangerous. Feel he should still try for a Vucinic type signing as well, or Morata, but I can’t keep track as to whether that’s on or off anymore.

  13. Nasri's Mouth


    Ha! Says the guy who’s just dropped his trousers, bent over and pulled apart his pre-greased cheeks for his mate Mike 😀

  14. samsensible

    NM please don’t compare what Michael and I have with your teenage fling with Sergio. You bitch.

    N5, alright Dave.

  15. samsensible

    Morata is off. That one looks unlikely to pollute us again this month.

    Vucinic could gather more steam (hot air)…

  16. Nasri's Mouth

    @Cesc Appeal

    Not sure a last minute draxler bid is dangerous. We’re not going to cough up £45m for him now anyway, so not much option. If the player himself is really angling for a move now, then it might just happen.

    I really can’t get a hard on for Vucinic for the remaining 3 months and it looks as though Morata had a think about it, and decided to stay. Maybe we had a look at Costa too, but he made it clear he’s staying, and Martinez likewise.

    I suspect Wenger has looked at it and thought let’s take a risk this season, and then do it properly in the summer.

  17. Cesc Appeal


    Like he did it properly the summer just gone?

    Hopefully there’ll be an immense amount of pressure on him to spend…but I doubt it.

    He really does struggle in the transfer market.

  18. Cesc Appeal


    Hmmm…I’m not so sure. I remember after the Newcastle game when we pipped Spurs to UCL again everyone was certain we would spend big and most thought Jovetic was on the way.

    A summer that you can only describe as an unmitigated cock up followed.

    Newcastle and Liverpool accused us of insulting, derisory offers for separate players. Ballsed up Higuain, messed about with Rooney for a bit.

    I don’t for a second believe Ozil was some genius plan all along. I think it was Pedro who described it as the ‘perfect storm’ that led to Wenger spending money and I think that’s right.

    A new three year deal, pay rise, in utter control of the club again, no reason to change for Wenger. Plus, look how many fans seem content merely because it’s January and we’re top of the league…that’ll be called progress and people will be happy.

    I hope you’re right, but I massively doubt it.

  19. Nasri's Mouth

    @Cesc Appeal

    I don’t think he’s in full control ‘again’, or if he is, he’s playing it old skool again.

    Shifting of the dead wood
    binning of players who don’t meet the required standard (Gervinho, Song)
    Dropping of players who became complacent, Vermaelen and Szczesney
    A change in style of play, a more determined defensive attitude, both from Wenger and Bould
    Rumours about a shake up of the academy side
    Step up in the quality of targets
    Massive step up in revenue
    Pressure from the CEO

    I think we’ll continue to spend big. We might still get frustrated when he doesn’t sign the obvious ones, and we miss out on player who we believed we were linked with, but we won’t be going back to penny pinching, because we simply no longer need to or in fact can do.

  20. Nasri's Mouth

    Oh, and I’d disagree about the unmitigated disaster bit.

    Could have been, but they just about pulled the shit out of the bag. And we offer derisory offers ? So what, fuck ’em.

  21. Dark Hei

    Agree with Marble, will be nice to have at least 1 wide player for options. Right now we are reliant on our fullbacks for natural width and our DMs to cover when they are up top.

    Next season we will have Joel Campbell returning, anyone think he is now ready to be part of the first team? Will be a useful replacement for Bendter I think, though he plays out wide for Olympiakos.

    As for the much needed striker/forward signing, should we go for a like-for-like replacement if someone of Lukaku’s class is available, i.e. someone who play with his back to goal like Giroud?

    Or do we go for someone pacey, facing goal during play, like Costa, running unto through balls.

  22. The BearMan

    Maybe there is a lesson here for us all. Do not spend what you do not have, so it is appropriate that the Puma deal is rushed through first, then spending on players.

    Club must not rely on BiG Daddies, or simply seek to break even, but show a handsome profit.

    If that’s the lesson from Le Professor it is worth noting. Now win us the league and FA Cup and the family would be happy again.

  23. Revving Kevin

    Dear Cesc appeal
    Not at all. Goalposts have moved. Have you heard about the puma deal? Or the new Emirates deal? Combined this is £60 million a year. Add the other revenue streams! So why treat now the same as the past? Things have changed, why can’t you see that.i wish us fans would all get behind the club now.

  24. TheBayingMob

    Wenger gutted again, if he’d picked up Cabaye for 4.3m he’d be looking at a cool 15m profit … the old man’s losing his touch, where have all the transfer profits gone!!?? 😉

  25. sylvain

    Made no mistake guys, wenger’s “last minute signing” of Ozil was only for his personal interest, all he want is a new contract.

    The chavs targeting Costa, Cabaye headind to PSG, Draxler is a dead deal…

    RIP AFC.

  26. Simon


    Who cares is other teams complain about our offers? When I’m selling a business I always call the offer I am derisory! If we decide not to sell something at all we tell the shareholders we received a derisory offer too. Good for morale.

    Wenger had a large budget and he spent it.

    You’ll catch up!

  27. WengerEagle


    Untie that noose from around your neck, go to your kitchen and pour yourself a nice bowl of cereal with lots of sugar and milk. Then go back to reading this.

    We’re top of the league, in the 5th round of the Cup and in the last 16 of the UCL. We have the best Goalkeeper in the league in Szezcsny. the best CB(Koscielny) and CB partnership(Per+Kos), the best CAM in Ozil, arguably the form midfielder in Europe before his injury in Ramsey and lots of young talent in the squad in Gnabry, Wilshere, The Ox, Zelalem. We also for the first time in years have real leaders and experience in the team in Per, Flamini, Arteta and Rosicky.

    We have the best defence in the league and are unbeaten at the Emirates since that disastrous opening day defeat to Villa.

    We’ve just announced a huge deal with Puma which will ensure we can spend in summers to come.

    Lots to be positive about mate

  28. sylvain

    @WengerEagle : I know mate!!

    It’s just that everything looks to be so fine, and after all these years it’s a bit too good to be true, that’s maybe why I’m afraid!! lol

    @Simon ; GFY.

  29. Simon


    …And we had a manager who was grounded enough to say that the villa defeat was a blip. He was right, the fans that lost their heads were wrong.

  30. Dream10

    Does anyone know if the impending Draxler transfer held up by the actual fee, wages or the fact that Schalke cannot find a replacement?

  31. Salvage

    I dont think anyone is coming. We might as well, get used to it.

    At least on Ozil, Wenger clearly said that he would surprise the fans with a big signing days before Ozil was signed. Yes it was a deadline day signing but he already said he was getting someone. This time, he hasnt said and there are no signs at all.
    How I wish I was wrong though ..

  32. Simon


    Sadly I think a combination of those fees and replacements – but also the club is back in the hunt for a champions league place. I don’t think it likely he is coming now in January.

  33. sylvain

    samsensible : “they need the pain. Stop trying to take it from them!”

    Trust me mate, when you’re gonna realise that we are much, much weaker than the chavs (mentally) and than city (squad depth), you will fell the pain too.

  34. Norfolk

    This Puma deal means we can now “spend big every season” according to some. The truth is, we have always had the money to spend big, but the club & manager have chosen not to.
    Still cheer up guys and gals, Stan is doing very well, the rest of the shareholders are doing very well and……the manager is also doing very well.
    Luckilly the team are doing well, long may it continue.

  35. WengerEagle

    I don’t actually think we will sign Draxler in January now, unless the player is DESPERATE for a move Schalke have no reason to sell in January and his buy-out clause only comes into effect in the summer. Draxler doesn’t strike me as the disruptive type so I could see him happily staying there for the rest of the season.

    What I think will happen or could happen is we agree a pre-summer deal for Draxler ala Gotze to Bayern, where we meet his release clause

  36. Norfolk

    Dream10January 28, 2014 09:35:06
    Does anyone know if the impending Draxler transfer held up by the actual fee, wages or the fact that Schalke cannot find a replacement?”

    The first question to ask is…… there an “impending Draxler transfer” at all.
    Sadly, none of us knows.

  37. Sam

    I wonder if wenger is happy with both giroud n bendtner to lead us to the tittle.
    Giroud is uncertain he might not get better till the end of the season. Bendtner is just pointless.
    Now to have tHem both while we are chasing the league Is a big gamble

  38. Sam

    I thought we could sign someone just to help the attack

    Not just bendtner n giroud are bad
    Chamberlain n podolski are crocks
    So we are left with 18 years old Gnabry