(To be read in the thick set NYC accent)
Happy Monday morning f*ckers.
Sorry, I watched Wolf of Wall Street last night, so today, my working session is about maximising cash, taking c*caine and buying hookers for the office. So do mind the language and please accept my apologies for any middle fingers I show if I hear bleatings of 3% ticket increases.
Arsenal are making big f*cking cash from these broads over at Puma. Those motherf*ckers have been stupid enough to dish us out a massive wedge of cash over what is rumoured to be 5 years. Now, I’m assuming that this is what the 1730 press conference today is about, because I was invited. Clearly, it’s not going to be the one where Wenger puts pen to f*cking paper on his very own big money new deal.
This Puma deal is massive because it puts big dollars in our bank account and it gives us a enough cash to make PROFIT each year. If you follow the money scene as closely as we do, you’ll know that currently, if all goes well, we barely break even year on year. In Wall Street, there would be profit warnings and spooked markets left right and centre… because Arsenal wouldn’t be doing well. This deal kick starts the cash influx, which should be closely followed by the deal with Emirates.
Basically, we’re filthy rich. Well, not as filthy rich as United are, but not many in Europe are (from an income perspective at least), however, this money should kick start the sort of signings that made United the monster they are today. Deals like Draxler and Ozil can now happen every summer without the need of a sugar daddy. That works from a financial fair play perspective and it works from a fan perspective. Because for some reason, we’d much rather the success of our club came from our pockets, than the pockets of someone who has sold oil to propagate wealth.
Just kidding. I’m an Arsenal fan, the sustainable model is more arousing to me than 10 minutes in a dark room with an incognito web browser on.
The interesting thing about the Puma deal is that they are obviously German, we are obviously making a huge switch in the type of players we bring in… because, well, they’re all German. We have a double core these days. The German core that compliments the English core. I love it. Germany is one of my favourite places, I have a loose understanding of the language and now I have an excuse to bark ‘Arsenal‘ at German people when I’m over there. They love it in the same way French and Spanish people used to. Come on, don’t pretend you didn’t do it…
‘HEY SEÑOR… CESC FABREGAS! ARSENAL! CESC FABREGAS!’
Football, the language of Europe.
Patrick Vieira has been in the press saying nice things about Arsenal for once. Today, he picked out Ramsey as the form player in the league.
“At the start of the season he was fantastic because of the number of goals he scored from midfield, but also the number of goals he created,”
Nice to hear that coming from a great, especially as the explosive midfielder is close to return. It’s been fairly plain sailing without him over the last few weeks, but having him back means we can rest others. It also means he’s had an enforced winter break, which will hopefully be a massive benefit.
We’re shaping up outrageously well at the moment when it comes to midfield. Well, from a future perspective. We have Chamberlain who has bags of potential, as well as the talents of Zelalem and the exciting Crowley. The only area that needs some TLC in the summer is that box to box player that we’re going to have issues with as Flamini slows down and Arteta moves into his 32nd year. I’d love us to sign a Vidal or Pogba. I’d also be excited to sign Cabaye… though if we could get someone younger like Ginter or Bender. Well, we’d be a pretty powerful outfit.
Right, that’s me done for today, have a fabulous f*cking day and make sure it’s cash heavy and fuelled.
P.S. Margot Robbie…? Move over Meagan and Mila.