Arsenal land Raage | El Shawaary crazy £37m talk

by & filed under News Review.

Morning Grovers and Grovettes alike. Today, like yesterday is a no news day. Literally nothing. Denilson has left, so he’s not talking to JD is still waiting in the press zone in Germany to talk about his teams failure to get out of second gear… the lad doesn’t know he season is over. Jeez, can’t even get an overseas comment from Eboue!

Basically, we’re talking down time in caps. So I thought, what can we do to pass the time? Well, we all like joke Friday… memes are totally hot right now, so I thought, why not jump on popular web culture and get people creating Arsenal memes in their spare time. The best will get hosted on here, the second best go on the Tumblr… the worst, you know, the ones that say…

‘Jesus once told Mary he had jealousy issues because Wenger was the favoured son of god’

… will go in the cyber bin.

I’d show you an example, but they’re all so terrible, which is why you have to help restore the faith that Arsenal fans are funny.

So how does this game work?

Type your favourite Arsenal player or moment into Google images.

Save it to your desk top.

Upload it into this link.

Add your mega LOLZ captionz. Then tweet it to me on the hashtag #LGmemes.

Hey, this could be a crap idea no one plays along with, but for Andre Santos’s sake… if there’s nothing entertaining going on, let’s make our own!

Onto the news of which there is none…

How about El Shawaary. Put up for sale by Milan. Flagged by me, then a day later Arsenal have lodged a £37m bid for him. Something reeks of 1+1=mad hits from Arsenal fans. We’re a desperate bunch aren’t we? We’ll click anything. Like a fat man in a box of Ferrero Roche chocolates… who, err, clicks at the chocolates. Then eats them to save a very poor analogy.

In news that is both true and real, we have continued our assault on the youth market snapping up Jamal Raage. He’s a Swedish left footed striker with an awkward Twitter photo. How do I know that? Because people are already making him famous online. There’s something not quite right about grown men following young boys on Twitter, boosting their egos with praise and casting friendships that last until they’re not longer useful. Whatever floats people’s boats I guess.

Now, my immediate reaction to this is to react badly. We behave like this 70% of summers. However, my hope is that most of these deals were done months ago. Remember back in February I said Dick Law was in France doing a deal? That was Sanogo.

My worry is that if these deals weren’t done before, is Dick Law running around Europe swooning for kids that have a 0.1% chance of making it? We’ve been here before. Remember Joel Campbell? The saviour of the youth scouting network? We chased him around South America for a month. Still doing absolutely nothing with his career. Remember the fury when I questioned the Chamberlain signing? Still nothing to show on that front.

We shifted on 18 kids this summer. Great news that we’re playing it ruthless, but more of a worry if you ask me. We’re quite a long way into this youth thing. We pick off ready made under 18s and we’re still not seeing the fruits of our labour? Isn’t that a concern? Maybe it was Brady’s issue. Now he’s gone we’ll see some progress. I know there’s some pretty horrendous politics behind the scenes when it comes to scouting local talent versus buying in the kids. I’m just amazed that in a catchment area as densely populated as London, the best we can produce is Ashley Cole and Jack Wilshere.

Anyway, I’m looking forward to Raage getting sent off for violent conduct… Raage Rage. Haha. That’s brilliant.

So, bar great headlines, the important item is delivering on the key area of concern. That’s not a lack of an under 18 squad… that’s the 20+ points we were off United. Other clubs have made moves and we’re still twiddling our thumbs.

How about this quote as a great way to end a post… The Marseille coach on his requirements this summer.

“This is a profile that interests us, yes. We want flank players, with dribbling, passing and scoring and Gervinho has this profile”

Yes. Yes. Yes.!

Have a day and remember to submit a meme… they’re all the Raage. #LGmeme

283 Responses to “Arsenal land Raage | El Shawaary crazy £37m talk”

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  1. Cesc Appeal

    First real thing Ivan has had to do this summer of ‘change’ and he’s fallen way, way below par.

    Poor show from the club yet again.

    They can talk all they want.

    But their actions betray them…I hope Arsenal fans are smart enough to see that.

  2. SUGA3


    the position of chairman is absolutely meaningless in the current setup at the club, more glory than power, if anyone is to challenge the manager, it’s the CEO…

  3. kwik fit


    It would be a travesty not to make the most of the opportunities that Mr chips has given. He as certainly wet my appetite now that PHW has had his chips 😉

  4. MarsBar

    Haha I thought kwiks one was good. Same stupid humour then……anyway.

    No news. Typical. Wenger fuck off and take your coat with you.

  5. Mayank


    I think all this talk about chairmen is taking us off course. We still haven’t made any signings. Without a striker who can score when the chips are down we’re not winning anything.

    p.s. that felt good.

  6. michael

    The chairmans role is more of a figurehead at arsenal

    People on here seem to want the man city approach which is fine if uv a sugar daddy

    Were bein run like a business n the best way to portray the sustainable model is with a banker as figure head

  7. Dannyboy

    We need some humour to help us through this insanely boring fucking interlude… I would prefer the papers to be still making up a load of bollocks, at least then there is something to discuss! Fucking hell it’s boring being an Arsenal fan these days innit?

  8. Dannyboy

    At least we have Tiger Woods on the telly to try and top up this months wages fellas!! Anyone laid some dosh down at the bookies?

  9. kwik fit


    The US Open seems to be wide open. If any player avoids the cut they still have a chance. McIlroy at 20’s looks reasonable value.

  10. kwik fit

    “We want flank players, with dribbling, passing & scoring ability.” – Marseille Coach Franck Passi

    Fuck That! I thought there was a chance he would have take Gervinho.

  11. Dannyboy

    kwik, McIlroy is a funny one, he either wins the majors or finishes outside the top 40… Could go either way if he can hole the putts.

    Tiger never ceases to amaze me though… he plays like shit all 4 days at the majors, yet every time he is still only a solid days putting away from winning it. Already he’s missed 7-8 putts that are 8-10 feet.

  12. Bade


    We all agree the chairman has no administrative powers at Arsenal

    That said, who fills the role has a big say on the “telling side” of the tale. Some kind of a statement of intent

    You can’t say having Sir Chips there, is the same as having David Dein appointed

    Don’t underestimate the power of the “figure character”, even without legal powers, because they still have a big power & impact amongst fans & media

  13. Gilo

    We could appoint Warren buffet or Richard fucking Branson as Chairman, but as long as Wenger is Chief Financial Officer and Head of HR we won’t be making any improvements

  14. SUGA3


    not with SS as the owner he doesn’t…

    appeal to fans? mate, no idea who we would have to appoint to achieve this, but it would have to be a hero and a half!

  15. BobbyDigital

    Good idea–I’ll give it a go. It’s good to see Arsenal finally made the announcement that we have all been waiting for: the appointment of Sir Chips as CEO. I’ll sleep easy tonight.

  16. Dannyboy

    Jeff, he’s just proving to everyone what a pathetic individual he really is, signing all these nobody kids that no-one else wants… He could quite easily wait till the end of the summer to sign kids that no one else wants… but nope, has to be the priority of the summer for Wenger, rather than signing real players…

  17. Jeff


    Words can’t explain it any more. All I can say is that we are not interested in titles or trophies. Arsenal have become the university of football where players that graduate with first class degrees leave and the rest stay and work on campus. We exist for the benefit of other clubs.

    Wenger is proud (as opposed to distraught like any normal manager would be) to lose our best players to rival clubs because he thinks their success (whichever club they play for) is all down to him. Those who can do; those who can’t teach (and he’s not really very good at that either)! It’s not for nothing that he gets called the professor. He should be called the don of AFC really.

  18. Dannyboy

    Skybet offering 8/1 on Sagna to go to PSG… thought it was all but a done deal earlier in the year!

  19. unhappy gunner

    Anyone read RVP’s comments? Apparently Arsenal asked him to keep quite about during euro 2012 about his move to united proving they knew months before he was being sold to them while all along they were spouting shit about him staying. How the fuck can the mug AKB’S still stick up for that french cunt of a manager of ours when all along he holds us fans with contempt. Fuck them and fuck wenger, ivan and stan. Does anyone honestly believe we are going to sign anyone of note this summer? If so check into your nearest loony bin guys. By the time those 3 cunts have finished with our club we will be lucky if we are still in the premier league. FUCK OFF WENGER. WENGER OUT

  20. Samir masri

    It doesn’t make sense that the club said we have funds available to spend. And now they are saying we are reluctant to pay 23 million pounds for fellaini? It might have to do with us not aiming at that price tag to secure fellaini. It’s a stupid rumour in my opinion.

  21. Kiyoshi Ito

    Oh, today has been refreshing..Reading through the comments has been smooth & pleasant..

    Great to see the Piers Morgan(AKA Nasri’s Mouth) of this blog,has been scarce today.
    That’s why I’ve enjoyed reading Le-Grove today.

    The prick,comes on here every day,16 hours,monopolising this blog,with inane b/s.

    With his “maybe’s,could be’s possibly’s” & mockery of posters.

    I hope he loses all sensation in his fingertips for the next month!!

  22. kwik fit


    We’ve got rid of both Chamakh and Arshavin. Bendy’s on his way and Gervinho could also be sold . So perhaps were in the market for two front men. It would be an awesome combo.

  23. Marko

    I’d prefer Higuain first but any marquee signings at this point will be a statement of intent from the club and that’s a good thing.

  24. Rohan

    Paulinho sounds like exactly the sort of player Spurs would be linked in. Sounds like pure hype. Their chief scout probably found him on Fifa Ultimate Team

  25. dialsquare

    Gervinho’s no better or worse than Walcott, In fact Gervinho is a much better technical footballer than Walcott. I say if you get rid of one then the other must also go.

  26. arsenal flavour


    or trollsquare, if your being serious you know nothing about football.
    Walcott can finish evidence of this him being our highest scorer, gervino can’t finish evidence of this… well have you seen him play, if we get rid of gervino why would we then get rid of our highest scorer and second highest in assists player?

  27. arsenal flavour


    or trollsquare, if your being serious you know nothing about football.
    Walcott can finish evidence of this him being our highest scorer, gervino can’t finish evidence of this… well have you seen him play, if we get rid of gervino why would we then get rid of our highest scorer and second highest in assists player?

  28. BacaryisGod

    Filling in the gaps, it’s actually getting quite interesting this summer.

    GK: Done (Cesar in, Fab most likely sold and Martinez in as #3)

    DF: Done (Williams in. Djourou/Squill out. Bac stays. Miquel as #5 CB)

    MF: Need CM with height/power. Fellaini is ideal but there are others (Capoue etc) too. If Gerv goes, then a natural left-winger to replace him (this one will probably be the surprise signing). Santi, Jack and Rosicky as options as the attacking midfielder.

    FW: Need CF. Higuain is ideal but probably Juve bound.

    Also, what happens with Vela will be interesting too. I would like him back to play on the right which is where he’s done damage and to have the Ox plunder away in midfield.

    How can anyone debate that the below changes would not result in vastly improved squad?

    IN: Cesar, A.Williams, Fellaini, Higuain, Vela
    OUT: Arshavin, Djourou, Chamakh, Squillaci, Denilson, Bendtner

  29. Arsenal 1886-2006


    After one season playing alongside Giroud and Walcott that pic could well be the end of next season.
    Wally could also be off next season as well, he ain’t going to be seeing much of the ball with Rooney up top.
    Who will Cazorla pass to high up the pitch if there is a sniff of a goal, Rooney or Walcott?

  30. pistolpete

    The way I see things, is wenger will never buy big, it just not in his nature. We will habe to wait until the big spending boys get what they want and we will get the basement bargains. Why would he change his ways now? We got 4th you know, which is a pass for wenger. Bottom line is wenger has know one to answer to, so he will continue to buy kids. We won,t win a thing until wenger leaves at the end of the year. Roll on season 2014/2015 with a new ambitious manager.

  31. tom

    wengers youth poilcy was the biggest crime in football history for that he should be banned from watchin a football match again.

  32. Arsenal 1886-2006


    The difference with signing Rooney is merchandising, he is a massive name in the game and we would get a big chunk of our money back through shirt sales.
    Would loved to have had him this season for the final game. Could you imagine his face watching the players dancing like they had won the CL, Prem and FA Cup all in one game? he would have laid into them with fists flying calling them a bunch of loser’s.

  33. BacaryisGod

    We’ll give him away and pay a good chunk of his salary if we have to, but he’s gone by the close of the window.

  34. northern gooner

    Has there been new reports on fellani and Rooney etc . Or is it the same old recycled shite.
    Also who is this raage guy

  35. Rob

    And to whoever said gervinho is better technically than Walcott SHAME ON YOU! Walcott may not be the best player in the world but I’d have in my squad any day of the week,in front of goal he’s been brilliant and very consistent over the last couple of years,his all round games getting better as its all about timing of runs etc,he has something that is completely unique in our squad.Gervinho is also unique as he strikes a football like like my sister used to..badly.He is in my mind one of the worst players I’ve witnessed at Arsenal and there’s been alot,seriously terrible.

  36. Rob

    Rooney should not be welcomed anywhere near our club,the guys a scum bag,no way we’ll sign him anyway.Let him get fat on Utds bench

  37. Rohan

    I’ll be leading a conga through the streets of san francisco if we sign rooney.

    Best, he’ll have something to prove to Utd. A motivated fiery rooney is one of the best players in the world. Arsene just needs to keep him fit. ALso our English lads who he is likely to hang out with are nicer than most (I’m looking at you Theo and Ox) so they can hopefully keep him out of trouble what with the multitude of vices London presents.

  38. Rohan

    I’d take Chicharito. Chicharito, Giroud and Rooney would be an amazing frontline. Incredibly balanced, and a bit of everything.

    I bet he won’t be allowed be to have Chicharito on his back if he plays for us. Only Utd. get away with shit like that.

  39. Rohan

    Arsenal interested in RC Lens’ Belgian striker Baptiste Guillaume. 18-yo has contract extension offer on table but big Euro teams interested

    Fuck me, is Arsene really going to buy 3 youth strikers? Raage, this dude and the legend that is Sanogo?

  40. Cesc Appeal


    Yeah I think that’s part of the procedure he did it last time…remember all the pictures of that weird scar along his forehead?

    He had the same one this time.

    I cannot believe (well I utterly can) Wenger is signing another youngster! We’re starting project youth all over again…again.

    God I hate this club…well I don’t, it’s the twats running it.

    Just wait for Kroenke Jr to take up the empty seat on the board now

  41. Crono

    Why is everybody freaking out about signing a couple of youngsters? We have let 15 of our youngsters go, of course we have to replace some of them. The youth team needs a squad to.

  42. sam

    are we going to pay Rooney 200k? nope
    is he going to take a pay cut to join us? nope
    is arsene wenger paying 25 millions for just one player? nope

    who knows? maybe united are willing to let him go on a free.
    then mr freebie can pounce in like a hungry leopard.

    otherwise forget it

  43. Rohan

    Dunno, I think everyone’s overreacting. It’s only at Arsenal where signing 16year olds is big news. Our youth academy has a separate budget. We’ve let 18 players go. Of course we need to replenish the talent. Us signing 1,3,or even 10 youths has no bearing on our senior team purchases.

    Dunno about you, but I like bragging about Arsenal having exciting youth coming through the ranks. The carling cup teams when Project Youth was in full flow were great nights of football.

  44. Santos

    This is La Masia project all over again. Let’s keep hoping though. Cesc appeal, let’s hope the youth players we are linked with are being used to supplement the reserves

  45. Rohan

    Cabaye to Monaco. Brilliant. Hope they get relegated next season. I like newcastle, but Alan Pardew is one of the smuggest cunts around.

    Speaking of which, how come Alan Curbishley gets linked to every vacancy but never actually gets it

  46. Santos

    Yohan Cabaye off to AS Monaco. That will be an improvement. I fear they may nick Capoué. Who will give a fuck as long as we get Fellaini?

  47. sam


    you are right but all our loanee are still under 21.
    getting rid of these rubbish kids was a good idea. If we don’t send them out next season we will have a strong youth squad, also for the carling cup.
    miyaichi, afobe, sanogo,aneke, eisfeld, bellerin, gnabry, campbell are all under 21 its better to keep them here than to send them to stupid loans.
    oooops!! Arsene also make money from loaning players, silly me!

  48. Santos


    But Arsene just tries to see whether these boys will come good at their loans, and may not be necessarily after the loan fees.

  49. sam

    am I the only one who think this greedy loan system messed most of our kids?
    keep them with the youth team and use them in the carling cup and sometimes give a place on the bench. It will be crazy to send someone like Gnabry to a rubbish club for a whole season.
    would arsene wenger resist it?

  50. sam


    we learned this youth system from the barca and ajax.
    do you see them sending their kids on loan?
    you have to stick to the club program than sending a kid to bolton to play longball.
    Its about money

  51. BacaryisGod

    R.S.P. C and Rob:

    Carlos Vela said he wanted to stay in Spain but if you were paying attention we have the option to buy him back. His agent didn’t exactly sound emphatic: “I had a chat with the people at La Real after the game where they sealed their qualification for the Champions League,” he explained. “They told me they are very happy with Carlos and that they want to keep him, despite Arsenal’s buy-back option. I am sure that we will see Carlos there, although this will not end until August.”

    As for not good enough, players not only get stronger and mature but sometimes just get flat out better. Forlan was horrible at Man United but not so bad after that. If you didn’t know the player but heard that Real Sociedad had a winger with 14 goals and 9 assists you would probably be all over him.

    My best guess is that we’ll extract more money out of Real Sociedad in order to waive the buyback option. He’s definitely worth more than 4 million at this point.

  52. Dannyboy

    Wonder how Sir John Chippendale Lindley Keswick is settling into his new job? Glad he isn’t a player, would cost a years wages to get that on the back of a fucking replica shirt!!!

  53. goonerboy

    The appointmeant of Sir Chips- means replacing the chairman with a clone- another 70 something old Etonian banker. The Board runs itself as a private elitist club and is sick..
    The reality is this Arsenal regime were, are and always will be far more interested in selling our best players than buying any established top players. The only time Wenger has said no to a top player who wanted to move, his Board over-ruled him (Nasri).
    Arsenals Board and Arsene Wenger in particular lacks the ambition, dynamism and nerve to make this team competitive where it matters- on the field. Wenger is far more committed to indulging himself with another fanciful youth project than he is in making this club truly competitive.
    The Arsenal management and leadership model is quite simply obsolete and this cannot be covered up by slick marketing PR or by Ivan Gazidis or the AKBs fantasies..

  54. peanuts&monkeys

    as the Mirror writes today, Wenger will not change his spots. He has grown the habits of stinginess too much down under his skin to shed those. All these while whatever noise AKBs were excited about were those from CEO. Is teh CEO acountable for buying/not buying and spending? No, he is not. He has not said “I will spend”, He has been saying ” Arsene SHOULD spend”. That is first-class falsehood which doesn’t need a scientist to read.

    Wenger will only buy get another Chamakh hoping he will be an ANelka. He will buy another Fabianski for Goalie. He will buy some under-18 for teh youth team and will come with the same shit.

    Fuck you bastard!!!!!!! Why dont you go completly senile and get unfit even to kick your own ass, Wenger?????

    Out to hell, Wenger!!!

  55. MadeToLoveMagic

    RSPCA make some fresh, if you live in London you will be surrounded by shops full of crazy spice. It ain’t hard to make a curry sauce. Google it bruv. Hahah what has lE grove turned into, mumsnet?

  56. R.S.P.C.Arsenal

    Cheers RR

    Went to local curry a fiver for two large tubs of two sauces.

    Naan from local haylat shop cheap ruby

  57. R.S.P.C.Arsenal

    made to luv

    Live in london should do really

    It’s the authentic taste that’s hard to replicate tho in it

  58. R.S.P.C.Arsenal


    Chill out mother

    Wenger is apperantly looking at a 14 year old who kicks a ball against a wall

  59. BB KING

    Breaking news :
    AW has signed a wonder kid, who shares his birthday with Messi. Arsene thinks being born on the same day might give him some messi magic.

    Transfer fee : fish chips & donuts.