Someone call the Police, I can hear our neighbours choking! | Gunning for third…

by & filed under News Review, Transfers.

After forensic study of the evidence, this is the moment Spurs fans really started getting depressed.

There are few things I cherish more in life over watching Spurs take a beating in a crucial match. Yesterday it was David Moyes’ 10th anniversary in charge of Everton so you kind of sensed this one might not go the way of the Hotspur. They lined up strongly but never really moved out of 2nd gear. They looked lethargic and out of ideas. Most of their chances came from long range efforts. Whenever they did get into good positions, Jermaine Defoe was on hand to shank it wide of the target.

Watching Adebayor when you’re winning is always a pleasure, what I’d forgotten is just how frustrating he is when your team is losing. Yesterday he was totally hopeless. He was petulant, lazy and totally ineffective. So ineffective he was subbed off after 55 minutes. It changed nothing, Everton held onto their one goal lead and took the three points. A marvellous afternoon. Chelsea won their game and closed the gap on us. So that makes our Monday night clash with Newcastle all the more important.

I can sit here and talk about what a fabulous job Pardew has done. I can say that a draw might not be the worst result. I’m not going to though. This is a major clash, but it’s a major clash we should be taking 3 points from. Newcastle have a host of dangerous players we need to be aware of, but they’re not better than Milan or Spurs. We should be heading into this game know we’re going to win. Their form has been indifferent of late and they were absolutely spanked by the chokers across the road when they last visited London.

Monday night has to be ours. Fourth place is no longer a trophy in my eyes. Oh no… I’ve upped my fan ambition. 3rd place is the new 4th. That trophy of finishing above Spurs is worth more to me than anything else in football at the moment. The bragging rights it would afford us combined with the 5-2 bragging rights we already own… well, it would be a dream summer!

Even the manager thinks third is our target, though for slightly different reasons.

‘It is no longer easy, especially when you look at the quality in Europe that is coming up’

The Premiership has had a bad year in Europe, but I’m not sure I’d quite go along with all the doom mongers who state we’re a weak league now. Spain has two great teams, outside that, normally I wouldn’t rate their league as a whole. The Italian league has a couple of good teams but I think anyone who watched Napoli in the first leg against Chelsea would agree that the result flattered them. The same with Milan. Though they played well in the first leg, we trounced them in the second.

The league does have to shelve the complacency though. We’re in danger of losing that 4th place champions league spot if this is the beginning of a power shift cycle.

We need to improve our squad this summer. Of that there is no doubt. Major improvements need to come into play. Marco Van Basten had some interesting words on the subject.

“The Arsenal squad has to be bigger and stronger. That will never guarantee ­trophies, but it will increase the chances.

“Robin must get the feeling Arsenal will have a squad this summer which can compete with the best teams in England and Europe. They cannot turn around and tell him they are selling the best players, like last summer.

“They have a gem like Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, but at the top of ­European football you also need ­experience.

“So they need a few players of more maturity – and then you can get Robin to stay.”

As it’s Sunday and we have little else to do bar text depressed Spurs fans I’m going to lay out my plans. If you’re too big for speculation, seriously, stop reading now, this is going to upset you.


  • Chesney
  • Fabianski (Sell)
  • Emilio Damián Martínez (Promote)
  • <Position open for an experienced old head>


  • Sagna
  • Mertesacker
  • Koscielny
  • Vermaelen
  • Santos
  • Jenkinson
  • Vertonghen (Buy)
  • Bartley (Promote to 4th choice centre back)
  • JD (Sell to the highest bidder, even if that involves letting him go on a free)
  • Gibbs (Move out the club with a massive sell on clause)
  • Squillaci (terminate contract if he won’t leave)


  • Diaby (Move on to wherever we can. Consider releasing him from contract)
  • Arteta
  • Frimpong
  • Rosicky
  • Wilshere
  • Song
  • Ramsey
  • Coquelin
  • <Position free for creative midfielder>
  • Yann M’Villa


  • Robin (Force him to sign a new deal)
  • Joel Campbell (Promote if legal to do so / If he’s away for 3 years, bring in Kalou on a free)
  • Park Chu-Nooooo (Banish him back to Ligue 1)
  • Chamakh (Force him out of the club)
  • Walcott (Offer new deal, don’t be held to ransom / If swap deal for Sturridge is on, take it, please god take it!)
  • Gervinho
  • Ryo (loan)
  • Chamberlain
  • Hoilett (Free transfer / Andrey replacement)
  • Podolski (Done deal)

Backroom Staff

  • Pat Rice (Steve Bould Promotion)
  • Boro Piromac (release)
  • Tony Colbert (release)
  • Gerry Payton (release)

Move them all on and let’s have a serious shake up this summer!

How would you play the summer?

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347 Responses to “Someone call the Police, I can hear our neighbours choking! | Gunning for third…”

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  1. iffy the goon

    I honestly feel the only reason we’ll see goetze in an arsenal shirt is if we’re ready to pay off the chart figures for him.

    Lumy @ 19:00:57 said it best with the juve analogy. He’s winning titles, we’re not. Unless we have the odd 50 million euros, i suspect he’ll don the white of madrid sooner than the red and white of arsenal

  2. iffy the goon

    Arsenal really should look into signing eden hazard, he’s an affordable world class player. Only 21 years old, and he wants to come to us.

    I don’t think we’ll ever find a like for like replacement for cesc least not any time soon

  3. Gunner2301


    We’re better than Blackburn and Swansea but they’ve beaten us this season. In particular with Swansea they show that you don’t need to have the best players, but you have to have the right organisation, tactics and game plan and know how to execute it. So even though we don;t have players like City with those attributes we would have a good chance of beating them.

  4. gambon


    So its SOOOO hard for the 4th richest club to win the PL, yet its easy for the 3rd richest to be top with 10 games to go?

    Man Utds wage bill last year was £150m and they won the league (you may remember). Ours is £140m, very little difference.

  5. Hitman

    If we buy Hazard, Goatee, MVilla, Vetongen, Podolski & Giroud,

    I will give the board permission to increase ticket prices next season!

  6. azed

    “We were considering him [Ruud van Nistelrooy] and Francis Jeffers and, in the end, we went for Jeffers.”

    Quote from Wenger

  7. Gunner2301


    You don’t mind paying that bit extra if your seeing value for money but at the moment we’re not. We need more efficiency in the wages were paying and know we’re getting a good return.

  8. Pedro

    Gambon, we had to start from scratch after the move and we’ve never generated revenue that could afford us the types of summer United normally enjoy.

  9. gambon


    Thats kind of missing the point.

    Too many people like Mayank try to justify the malaise by saying “we have less money therefore we shouldnt win the league”

    And that completely ignores that UTD have won 4 of 5 leagues, and in none of them seasons have they been the richest club in the PL.

    We won the league 3 times when we werent the biggest spenders, before wenger lost his marbles.

  10. Dan Ahern

    Evening all.
    Like the list Pedro. Would like to see Holtby and Suarez on there too. Supposedly both are on precontracts, around 4-5m fees. Sounds like great bargains to me, which hopefully means we’re free to throw crazy money at a guaranteed difference-maker like Hazard.
    Our team could actually be quite versatile and deep with only a couple Summer moves. Just gotta cut our losses and not worry about getting nothing for moving the deadwood.

  11. goonerkitt

    Is there anywhere we can get confirmation of the Holtby and Suarez pre-contracts? I hope this is the way our transfers are going to be done from now on with the Podolski deal looking like a done deal and the media talking up our interest in Gotze. It seems that he penny might finally dropped.

  12. AA23

    utd have always spunked money on everyones best players though. even you can see that.
    They’ve never been afraid of spending 30 million on a Rooney, Berbatov or Ferdinand.
    they have Hire purchased plenty of titles

  13. goonerkitt

    Nearly forgot to mention that Spurs are a bunch of choking cunts.
    The best team in London.
    They’re not even the best team in Tottenham.
    AdeBuyWhore really is a useless lazy cunt.

  14. goonerkitt

    Just read on the daily mail website that Podolski deal is done. Delegation flew out to Cologne on Friday and the deal was done. 10.9million sterling and a 4 year contract. If this dont happen now and he ends up elsewhere some cunt is gonna get ruined, proper ruined.

  15. zeus

    Somehow u lot have forgotten who we have as manager. The man won’t rid himself of the dross unless they. And it clear they want to leave. Thank heavens Bendy thinks he’s the best striker that ever lived, or we’d have to suffer him as well.

    Anyone actually seen holtby play before? What’s his game like? If that’s true, the pre-contract thing, u can forget about gotze right now.

    Jack, Ramsey, Rosicky, Diaby, Arteta, song, holtby AND gotze?! Madness. I’m sure I’m forgetting people and it’s all of them for 3 spots. Never gonna happen.

  16. zeus


    So klopp is playing the long game. Sanction the selling of Mario and in return, get the arsenal gig. Hehe

  17. Dan Ahern

    I can only offer YouTube analysis of Holtby right now, but I’m going to look into him more. From the highlights, looks like a smart player. The best praise I can give is that he seems to have good vision and think/execute/react quickly. Also quite capable of goals.

    Lurch — I think Wenger’s noticed that Germany has a huge amount of talent right now. They’re clearly doing something right and you definitely can’t knock their national team system. This is the spot where he sees that he can get the right amount of talent for the right amount of money, because it’s largely upcoming (or at least younger). Also, it can’t hurt that we’ve got an established Mannschafter doing propaganda for us 😉

  18. Lurch LeRouge


    what I think I’s most impressive from the Germans is the maturity of their young players – less likely to get sucked into the twatter & social media bollocks

  19. zeus


    My Rvp bias is leaning me Dutch.

    Either way, Spain ain’t winning. Lots of champions in that side, that extra2% or so, I think they lack in gritty desire to repeat.

  20. Dan Ahern

    Lurch – Yeah good point. Bundesliga is a good one to come up in too.

    zeus – That’s quite subjective. Spain is still a disgustingly talented team, I would NOT bet against them.

  21. zeus


    I know. It’s mainly that the side is choke full of barca twats. Plus I think the Dutch have contributed tremendously to footy, the deserve a little of the limelight.

    Speaking of Dutch and barca, what the hell is up with affelay?

  22. Dan Ahern

    If we’re talking team play you gotta give it to Spain. Half their team plays with each other multiple times a week already.

    Anyway yeah I think the Dutch deserve some love. They’re always right there it seems. I’m with Lurch though, I think the Germans are a better unit. I guess I rate ’em Spain, Germany, Holland then.

    And, Affelay? I dunno. I’m pretty sure he’s like 27. Not quite the exciting prospect everybody wants. He just looks like a kid. But it is a shame he’s wasting away on the Barca sidelines. Good player.

  23. Lurch LeRouge

    Spain without David Villa? or a very one a best?

    and Cesc playing in a position all season different from the one he’d play in the national squad? not convinced.

    Being played in eastern europe I really think suits the Germans and Dutch and as you say, has Spain the desire to retain their supremacy or is the tide turning?

    Time is a great storyteller.

  24. Rohan

    Possibly Lurch, but don’t think so.

    I want to see the return of Andre Santos tomorrow. I guarantee he’ll make our midfield look so much more dynamic

  25. gnarleygeorge

    Long weekend, here & it’s been good so far sports wise 4 me. A win over the brown ale drinkers would be the icing 4 me.

  26. jnyc

    I agree with most of ur team, vertonghen i want, song may leave , i have a feeling because he turned down our offer earlier this season. He will need to be replaced with someone very good. Ramsey should back up arteta, never play near the creator role. Great energy, no vision. And get someone to take cescs place. And please sell walcott

  27. BacaryisGod

    The one advantage Tottenham had on us (an open schedule) is now gone. The fixture list might just be working in our favour.

    Arsenal: Newcastle (12/3) Everton (21/3): 8 days rest!!
    Everton: Liverpool (13/3), Sunderland (17/3), Arsenal (21/3)