Some top tips for Wenger | Another super kid signed? | Karim… we’ll be seeing you

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NO NO NO NO!

My solution for Samir Nasri and his contract predicament is simple. Scare him into signing one. Take a leaf out of Don Logan’s book Mr Wenger (Wenger is the bald one in this video)…

That’d scare the little chump into putting pen to paper.

How about turning to Don for a bit of advice on how to handle the Cesc situations. What would Don say to Guardiola?

Ahhhh, music to my ears. That’s how we should deal with them, enough of the respect nonsense. If I roll into Foxtons and offer £50,000 for a £1million house, they’re taking away my complimentary Appletizer before I can remove the lid. We should put a deadline on this, as we reportedly have done and tell them what the price is, how we want the money and whether we’d like to take Pedro or Messi in exchange.

If Cesc truly loves the club, he won’t mind staying on another year. If Cesc has a brain he’ll understand that the £26million for a player who…

  1. Has created the most chances in Europe over the past 5 years
  2. Has the most assists in Europe over the last 5 years
  3. Has more goals than Xavi in the last 5 years

… is worth a touch more than Barca are willing to offer. For me, Cesc is the BEST centre midfielder in his position, in Europe. He’s achieved all of those beautiful, sexy statistics whilst playing in an inferior team in arguably a far stronger league. La Liga has two good teams, outside those good teams all you have is a group of clubs of drop their pants week in week out to the top two.

People talk about superior technical ability, me, I say, what are you talking about? Surely part of technical ability is being able to out think the opposition? Sure some of the players in our lower teams might not be able to Cruyff turn with best of them, but something that is always missed when people slate the Premiership is that even the worst teams are generally made up of foreigners these days. We’re probably not a million miles of Spanish teams technically and we’re certainly far superior tactically.

An argument for another day, the fact remains, the best creative midfielder does not leave for a penny less than the people dictate! Right everyone? We dictate £40million yeah? Give or take a million? Agreed.

Oxbo Karma-Chameleon has gone public to the Mirror. He reckons he’s had a great time at Southampton but he’s now ready to follow in the footsteps of Jack Wilshere and play in the Premiership. Good times. Where is the only team in the top 6 he’ll get a game? Arsenal you’d have to imagine. I’m sorry to have zero enthusiasm for untested players of a sweet sixteen nature, but I’ve seen too many of them come in on a magic carpet ride of hype only to bomb spectacularly.

Things are quiet on the grown man front. This disappoints me. If you’re new to the Arsenal transfer schedule, what normally happens around this time is all the fans who predicted he’d do business when the window opened and a not a day before because ‘the team let him down badly’,  start to point out that we need to qualify for the Champions League before we buy any players. Inevitably, Arsene Wenger follows suit by telling us once again, he’ll only sign a player if the economics work and that he won’t sign a £50million player and that we should stop harassing him for spending too much money.

That line is new in this season. If someone can dig out the journo or blogger who slated Wenger for spending too much money, can they send a link my way?

Karim Benzema has said he’d quite like to fight on at Real Madrid. I remember RvDV saying the same thing last season. Hopefully Madrid have a ready-made they’re ready to poach from somewhere and we can pick up Karim for a pittance later in the summer.

In domestic news, Kyle Bartley has told Wenger to stick his lower league loan idea. He wants to stay and fight it out for his position as a centre back. He’s a tall, aggressive centre back with a no-nonsense approach to defending. He’s very green, but he has all the ingredients Wenger traditionally over looks in a defender. He could stay on as our 5th centre back, but sadly, I fear Wenger has Miquel lined up for that role.

It’s also rumoured Arsenal have rejected a £1.5million bid for Henri Lansbury. With Denilson gone, it’s the boaty Englishman’s big chance to stake his claim on a squad rotation role this year. He needs to make sure he fights every second he’s on the pitch if he’s given the chance and he needs to make sure he performs.

Someone who works in the game told me a term I’ve forgotten, but apparently, there is something called a ‘crowd pleaser’ that some managers recommend from a player. That’s going in for crunching tackle early on in the game to let the opposition know you’re there and to fire up the crowd. Fans respond well to that and at Arsenal, we don’t see enough of it. Wayne Rooney does it at United all the time as does Essien at Chelsea. If Henri can get the crowd on his side early on in the season, much the same way Flamini used to, he could be a big asset for us. Remember, not everyone can be a Jack Wilshere… sometimes a club needs a bit of a Ray Parlour.

That’s pretty much all I’ve got for you today. I’ll be back next Monday (Here if you’re interested), in the mean time, I’ll leave you with Geoff. He’s been formulating plans in his bat cave out in Spain. He’s like a fizzed up can of opinions and tomorrow, he’s going spray all over you. Like a horny cat.

Adios! Today I sit in on a group training session with 32 ladies from a famous hair product company. Life is good.

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539 Responses to “Some top tips for Wenger | Another super kid signed? | Karim… we’ll be seeing you”

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  1. mjgooner

    I think Arsene should quit managing Arsenal and should go into managing the WHOLE WORLD……where Hitler has failed I believe he will excel.

    For an individual to be able to brainwash intellectuals without force or arms is a very tremendous achievement. I mean Arsenal fans writing a “dream team” still say things like “he costs 35million and will be on @least 200k a week”………its a dream team FFS, we have been so brainwashed by Arsene that we cant even DREAM without thinking of “financial doping”.

  2. Othello

    So, Juventus is signing Vidal (24) and we are supposed to get their rejection, Melo (28) ??

    I suppose as Arsenal fans we are far more intelligent not to excite ourselves with aaaany -supposedly- big name!

    Melo was good only 2 years ago when we were actually interested.

  3. incesc

    Squirrel says:
    July 20, 2011 at 19:33

    “Shops to buy players from:

    Villas Boas – Harrods
    Mancini – Harrods
    Red Nose – Harrods
    Harry – Waitrose
    King Kenny – Tescos
    Mc Liesh – Sainsburys
    Moyes – Asda

    Wenger’ll take a look in Harrods then fuck off to the Lidl’s sale

    Cunt”

    more like mothercare

  4. Othello

    On Monday, Le Grove posts a picture and lots of details on Joel Campell, the next day we hear ManU just moved for him.

    On Tuesday, Le Grove posts a video and much more on Lukaku, today we hear from bbc that Chelsea have just placed 18m for him.

    If it’s a decoy I wonder who we ‘re really after!

  5. Arsene Wenger

    arsenal are looking at finalisin a deal for mata for a fee of 20mil.

    fabregas will be sold by this week and replaced with hazard, who im told may be loaned back until january to soften the deal but not likely as wenger is a huge admirer, an offer of 20mil plus diaby is goin to be offered.

    cahill will sign for 12.5mil plus miquel(loan) and lansbury.

    ribery is being looked at in a £22 million deal depending on arshavin

    INs: mata 20mil, hazard 20mil, cahill 13mil, ribery 22mil

    SQUAD:

    GKs- schezny, fabianski, manonne
    DEFs-sagna, jenkinson, cahill, vermaelen, djourou, koscielny, gibbs, traore/?
    MIDs- nasri, song, wilshere, ramsey, frimpong,
    Wingers- hazard, gervinho, mata, miyaichi.
    For- v.persie, chamakh, vela, walcott .

  6. Arsene Wenger

    arsenal are looking at finalisin a deal for mata for a fee of 20mil.

    fabregas will be sold by this week and replaced with hazard, who im told may be loaned back until january to soften the deal but not likely as wenger is a huge admirer, an offer of 20mil plus diaby is goin to be offered.

    cahill will sign for 12.5mil plus miquel(loan) and lansbury.

    ribery is being looked at in a £22 million deal depending on arshavin

    INs: mata 20mil, hazard 20mil, cahill 13mil, ribery 22mil

    SQUAD:

    GKs- schezny, fabianski, manonne
    DEFs-sagna, jenkinson, cahill, vermaelen, djourou, koscielny, gibbs, traore/?
    MIDs- nasri, song, wilshere, ramsey, frimpong,
    Wingers- hazard, gervinho, mata, miyaichi.
    For- v.persie, chamakh, vela, walcott .

    WATCH THIS SPACE GROVERS

  7. pharo9ja

    there wont be war santos,worse still there wont even be any AKBs around till we manage a win over a newly promoted side.
    I didnt bother to click on the link,hence the “nice try”. How u dey?

  8. Arsene Wenger

    Mathias Jorgensen could be set to replace Koscienly / Vermaelen as though two are seen as 2 able players in the DMF role.

    WATCH THIS SPACE

  9. OPG

    Mathias Jorgensen, that rumour started from a dodgy site (footybunker I think) I highly doubt it but you never know PSV want him mind you.

  10. Arsene Wenger

    I get told I am very funny.

    Have you heard that Imogen Thomas has started a singing career?

    Apparently she’s been doing Giggs for ages !!!

    🙂 🙂 😉 😉 🙂 😀 😀 XD

  11. Skandibird

    Arsene Wenger; nah, you are not funny at all….. especially when telling porky pies eg Cahill medical ……………

  12. Tim

    Dortmund have more great crossers of the ball than we`ve had in the last 10 years. It`s incredible. Great team.

  13. IvoryGoonz

    @Pedro: I hope you got A&N on your watch list or already took care of him.
    There’s plenty I could comment on, but I chose the one where he actually comments on my post.

    @Arse&Nose:
    1. “Arse&Nose© says: July 20, 2011 at 10:16 “Ivory, the best line from that link you posted is “Djibril Cissé scored 25+ goals for three seasons at the same age 5 years ago. Let not get ahead of ourselves. Neither Nasri nor Benzema have done anything more than just show great talent. ” Whoever wrote this sums it up perfectly. ”

    The context of why I gave link to that article was the relationship Nasri-Ribery, and explained well how it got there, in other terms, another reason why I don’t think Ribery would suit us.
    The bit you chose to pick, to try to make me look bad (which is why you actually commented on it) is irrelevant.
    Cisse is a scorer. Not a midfielder. That article was written in 2008 when Nasri left Marseille for Arsenal, he had played 121 games for Marseille in 4 years scoring 11 goals, his last season at OM, 42 matches six goals and 15 assists., and this was written by someone bitter about his departure for Arsenal who supported Ribery and Cisse, who both played for Marseille at same time as Nasri and were still at Arsenal after his departure – although they both fucked off quicly. In any case, that was besides the point.
    Since he joined Arsenal, he became even better. Mark my word, and lets talk about Nasri again at the end of the season. For seeing Ribery play at OM, and French team, Ribery is not getting better with age, he actually lost his only real advantage which is his looks, and no one is afraid off him anymore. He is more than over-hyped and frustate majority of French people watching him play. Look who was left out of the French WC squad, and realise that Ribery and Cisse were part of the ones pushing for Nasri and Benzema to be out of the squad. Nasri and Benzema were our best players creative/youthfull players with Gourcuff who was kept because he was the only one old enough and talented enough, even if some other players tried to get him off the squad like Nasri and Benzema, and it was a huge mistake to leave them out by Domenech who eventually got sacked. Nasri was the Arsenal recruit who scored the quickest after signing (4minutes of play since he had joined), and I can only hope Gervinho will try to beat his friend’s record.
    You got no clue about Nasri’s potential, real value, or state of mind. You only believe what media tell you, and you don’t even check whatever you say.
    Proof:
    “Arse&Nose© says: July 20, 2011 at 10:53 We got fucked over Ashley Cole and the Nasri deal has a similar feel about it *both met other clubs while under contract *both demanded more money *both thought they were better than they were *ashley at least was consistent on the pitch and agreed to let us recoup a transfer fee for him”
    Nasri is one of the most loyal player you will ever find. Nasri signed an extension with Marseille in 2008 to allow them to get a higher transfer fee for the player. Remember? Don’t believe crap media speculation.

    Lukaku now. Enzo Scifo, the best Belgian player in history told Lukaku he needs to be with better players, but not if it means sitting on the bench at Chelsea or Manchester City.
    Wenger just needs to offer same bid at first, then either be accepted, in which case all he needs to do is give him a good contract – we got Ramsey because we could offer better youth contracts than Man U remember? – or rejected both, in which case Wenger should offer them what their club value the player at. £25m. Period. And that’s good investment in my opinion for “the new Drogba”, and counting Bendtner’s transfer fee if it happens, a good deal.
    Finally, why don’t you start supporting Gervinho rather than bitching about him already?
    ——————————————–
    Now for all unanswered questions posted today, and/or that I thought did merit an input:
    @Zorr0 at 09:50: I’ll pass on to colleagues at work, never know… just don’t get expectations, I’ll let you know tomorrow if someone’s interested.
    @Kapslock at 10:26: Where is your proof that he leaves at the end of the season, for free? He didn’t do it to Marseille, why would he do it to Arsenal? And even if we did, has Arsene not done the same with Chamakh? How about we get the last couple of players we need, win this league, and keep our best players, rather than speculating on stinky wind?
    @Yandi at 10:53: Javi Martinez is more of a central midfielder, and not much defensively. If Fabregas go, and we want another Spanish, yes, but we should give Nasri that role, he’s been waiting long enough…
    @BidDave: “Whatever happened about the Shakter players we were linked with?” not too sure which ones? Willian . No official offers reported, only rumours.
    @kingralphuk at 11:35: As of 30th of June, Zahia still refuses to show up at Police/Court’s request., therefore they can’t close the court case
    @GunnerShabz: no Vidal, because Wenger is slow, too cautious and a joke, took him ages to sign a player who adores Arsenal, do you expect any different for other players?
    @LeProfarter: Lille would not sell Hazard in same year as Gervinho unless we bid much higher than the price Lille values him at >> 20m minimum, more likely 25m euros.

  14. zeus

    Wenger must look at Dortmund with envy. An average age of 23 winning the Bundesliga is amazing.

    No wonder Wenger is stucking his heels him, Dortmund has proved it can be done.

  15. Tim

    I think Klopp is a great manager. I dont think he would want to join Arsenal though. He would probably want to rest at Dortmund for the rest of his career like Ferguson,Wenger and Guy Roux for their clubs.

  16. CannonBall

    AW – Stop spouting shit about possible transfers you think you may know about! Absolute bollox your talking! Take Cahill for instance, you say he’s at London Colney tonight for a medical tomorrow, no he ain’t, he’s in Houston Texas where Bolton have a friendly tonight! Read the last paragraph in this link then turn your lights out, shut up and go to sleep and keep dreaming you silly mug!
    http://mobile.bwfc.co.uk/runtime/bolton/article?articleId=2395001

  17. IvoryGoonz

    Tim: How about Subotic + Hummels in and Squillaci out? then we can play Vermaelen as left back 😉

  18. frenchie

    lucio in the shit remnants of his career is still FAR better than squillaci. as if we will really sign anyone else at cb.

  19. HerveDeNerve

    AW – Stop spouting shit about possible transfers you think you may know about! Absolute bollox your talking! Take Cahill for instance, you say he’s at London Colney tonight for a medical tomorrow, no he ain’t, he’s in Houston Texas where Bolton have a friendly tonight! Kick off is at 02.30 GMT if you want to stay up and watch him you stupid boy! Read the last paragraph in this link then turn your lights out, shut up, go to sleep and keep dreaming!
    http://mobile.bwfc.co.uk/runtime/bolton/article?articleId=2395001

  20. IvoryGoonz

    frenchie: improvement on Squillaci, but not tall enough to deal with our problem of height and give Djourou something to think … Subotic would definitively be my pick, and Id bring Hummels at same time to not break the pair … (same with Hazard/Gervinho over Mata/Gervinho)

  21. OPG

    Heh don’t trust that guy get’s so much wrong especially with so called bids, must have some contact with ITK journalist from the daily mail.. Ah well we’ll see.

  22. IvoryGoonz

    @bigdave: Pedro’s been doing some cleaning … so. dont know.
    might be on holiday in guantanamo :p

  23. Tim

    Chelsea and Man City need a player like Vidal. Barry and Milner are dreadful while apart from ramires chelsea`s midfielders are very poor.We have Song,Ramsey and Wilshere. No need for Vidal.

  24. OPG

    http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/sport/football/premierleague/article3100467.ece

    While Barcelona officials prepare to make a fresh attempt to sign Cesc Fàbregas today, Arsenal have pressed ahead with the club’s own transfer targets and lodged a £10 million offer for Phil Jagielka.

    Cahill, who has entered the final year of his contract, wants to join Arsenal and hopes that the deal will progress when the Bolton squad returns this week from a tour to the United States.
    Some of the other bids northbank claimed never happened though..

  25. frenchie

    IG-

    i was not fully serious (but it would be an arsene type signing, like signing sylvestre or squillaci–the out of nowhere signings). i agree with your assesment on hummels/subotic. would actually like to vertonghen come in, as he ticks most of the boxes we need covered, but that is unlikely.

  26. DaleDaGooner

    Vermaelen cost 10m, Koscielny cost a little less than and is on 25k a week wages, he played very well considering our defense has been shambles since Gallas\Toure days, and considering he came from Lorient….The guy is a solid defender.

  27. incesc

    koscielny only looks half decent to morons and such when compared to silvestre and squillaci.

    he gave away the penthat knocked us out of europe, cost us a cup final, got skinned by fucking diouf, got sent off twice i think and gave away penalties in the league.

    a disaster of a signing. But like i say, minutely better than the 2 french defenders.

  28. IvoryGoonz

    Tim: well, I think we need at least as good as Song is defensively (when he doesnt go forward) but who can also attack like Song on his good days, so that we can swap Song-Vidal at will depending on CAN/Copa America., fitness level and opposition, and rather than a DM-MC duo, be able to bring in a stronger defensive pair to close matches or test opposition, to give Song what he wants, more attacking, at par with Vidal, one cover the other.
    Wilshere can play on the right in alternance with Gervinho, or left. I feel he’s more suited to a ‘winger’ role, not traditional winger as hyperspeed, but the right mix like Gervinho. The other thing is that it works fine at Marseille with 2 DM “recuperateur”. (ball winning I think in english not sure).
    Ramsey and Wilshere are not yet close to Vidal’s level and we dont want to burn them like we did Walcott by playing him not where he’d be the most efficient if given time. They both still need to grow a bit more if possible and beef up a bit. More diversity in the squad and more ambition cant be bad…

  29. Rohan

    Surely Kos is not on 25k?
    More like 40 which is a decent wage I guess.
    25k is underpaying him grossly.

    I think Koscielny is given a rough ride on here. Vermaelen made as many if not more errors and was no more impressive defensively as far as I’m concerned. Just because he scores a few goals and looks like a warrior, eh?

  30. Rohan

    Vermaelen also had the experience of Gallas next to him. Koscielny had Johan fucking Djourou who has fuck all experience and Squillaci.

  31. frenchie

    so much for samir going to citeh…they are rumored to be making bid for wesley sneijder, on top of aguero.

  32. Ricky

    Rohan says:
    July 20, 2011 at 23:06

    “Vermaelen made as many if not more errors and was no more impressive defensively as far as I’m concerned. Just because he scores a few goals and looks like a warrior.”
    ===============

    That just confirmed it’s bedtime.

  33. Rohan

    -Twice against Chelsea at the Emirates.
    -Against Barca at the Emirates to let Ibrahimovic score.

    Those are just off the top of my head.

    Koscielny isn’t the greatest defender there ever lived. But he is being rated a bit unfairly by some imo.
    The Carling Cup imo was as much Chesney’s fault. A couple of the penalties were very harsh and one of the red cards was a complete farce.

  34. IvoryGoonz

    i wonder how many other phones have been hacked by Murdoch and the likes, and how many still are.
    I’d be Wenger I’d be sending transfer jokes to Gazidis just to have a laugh with so called “journalists” LMAO LMAO LMAO

  35. IvoryGoonz

    if we really cant attract lukaku despite everything, and Wenger passes on, he can still try to bid for Khouma Babacar
    Le Loner? or Le Désespéré?

  36. Lurch LeRouge

    rohan your a cunt….. fucking hyperlinks, i bet you click on them yourself in the hope that ‘if you built, they would come!’

    but i agree with your stance on Kozzer.

  37. Rohan

    haha, it’s funny because I’d like to think I have more credibility on here than someone like GStar and you’re more inclined to think it’s legitimate.

  38. Rohan

    If Koscielny’s on 30k, surely we aren’t grossly overpaying our lesser players, are we?
    If that’s the case I’d expect the whole second team to be under 40k which is marginally lower than what they’d get anywhere else imo.

  39. Lurch LeRouge

    Kozzer wasn’t meant to play as much as he has, but no 30K doesn’t sound unreasonable for the emirates prawn sandwich pressure cooker.

  40. Rohan

    lol, Lurch, I was merely correcting your “typo” or more likely grammatical faux pas.

    your=you’re=you are

  41. Lurch LeRouge

    now that denilson’s fucked off, can we cash in some of his work visa and give it to ryo? 😉

  42. IvoryGoonz

    My Santa Claus List

    Right.
    I wanted to sum up players I’d have wished for, and now that we lost on Vidal, that’s another one I have to bar on my list (unless Wenger radically changes and hijacks the deal).
    Anyway, I thought I’d give a few names per position, that we could bring in. Formation is not the problem, as I’d (try to) cover any need for any tactics possible by covering any standard position. 
    We also dont have money problems. AKBs, read that twice. You heard Gazidis. We got the money. So Wenger, show me the money.
    Those below are in addition to our current squad and are (/) optional.
    Leavers are negotiable and to be discussed further. Also, I’ll only name once even if they can play other positions. I prefer to play players in their natural position. (only exception I’ll give now is Mbiwa. Primarily a CB. Strong, quick, can play LB, RB, CB, DM).

    GK: Lloris/Mandanda/Frey/Ospina/Courtois (too late)
    LB: Lahm/Balzaretti/M’Bengue/Jose Angel
    RB: Ramos/Srna/Mbiwa
    CB Tall: Subotic/Viktor Vasin
    CB Quick: Mexes/Hummels/Vertonghen
    DM: De Rossi/Vidal/M’Vila
    MC: Gourcuff/Schweinsteiger
    AMC: Paulo Henrique/Javier Martinez/Dzagoev/Badelj
    AML: Hazard/Mata/Bastos/Di Maria
    AMR: Gervinho lala lalalala/Muller
    ST Tall: Derdiyok/Lukaku/Khouma Babacar
    ST Quick: Neymar/Aguero/G. Rossi/Benzema

  43. menace

    The price (£45 million) for Fabregas should be increased by a million per day during the transfer window so that if Barca want him they better hurry and stop passing the hat around.

    Clubs with wealthy foreign owners must be made transparent by law so that the origin of funds can be verified. There are too many millions being laundered in the guise of sport.

  44. ikon

    Well on Vermalen’s view I have to say I agree with Rohan.

    Being short in height for a CB but still managing to outjump is a great quality, but its lot more wear and tear to the body too. Our defense only conceeded a few less goals in the season before last… when Vermaelen played almost all games.

    His best position is in the defensive mid position, his ball control is exquisite and so is his shooting skills.

    The last time we had a proper world class center back was when Gallas played for us.

    I am very impressed by Koscielny though, his efficiency in tackles is amazing.

    Those who are wanking over Vermaelen return as a CB, please dont fool yourselves

  45. dennisdamenace

    So, by the sound of it we’ve got great, great defenders (excepting Clichy that is) Vermin, Kozzer, Sagna……..ALL great defenders!

    Must be just bad luck then that we’re shit at basic defending then!!

  46. pharo9ja

    Ivory surely you could have found an english or premiere league player on that list. We need more spleen bursting players in our team.
    I know its your list & all,but I’m just saying…
    Bon’jour by the way.

  47. Dream10

    Thomas Vermaelen did not show enough for me to be considered as an upgrade to our backline.

    Sebastian Coates has been very impressivve at the Copa America for Uruguay and only 20 years of age.

  48. Geoff

    Morning all, hear the truth in my post, I hope the players concerned read it, I know the board will!

    New post!

  49. IvoryGoonz

    @pharo9ja: Hi, bonjour too 🙂 I’m so fkin late for work already!
    I take your point, for my defense, I removed all English/premier league players, I tried to keep it inside Wenger’s grasp to be a bit more realistic. Besides, I will have a hard time finding players in England much better than those i named, and that we could sign.
    For instance I wouldn’t put Caroll in, while I would play him if I could, but it wouldn’t be like Wenger to buy him from Liverpool…
    Again, I take your comment seriously and be sure I’m working on it ^^. I’ll come up with a full list of “English” Wishes, but that’s what they’ll be.