Arsenal win another trophy | Nigerian superstat on his way for small fee!

by & filed under Uncategorized.

As you know, last season Le Grove partnered with website best friends, the Metro, for a Fantasy football league. They gave us an iPad for the winner of our league, that iPad will be despatched to the winner very shortly. I don’t have the results of the league today, but I promise to share those with you tomorrow!

Instead, what I have is the Metro Fantasy League team of the season. The statistics used to power the game have been sourced from Opta’s Live Feed and they make for interesting reading, because I’m not sure I’d have too many of those players in my team and I’m not sure the fans of too many of the players teams below would agree either!

For starters, as much as I like Joe Hart, I don’t think he’s been quite as amazing as he was the season before against Birmingham. Florent Malouda has played so well this year many Chelsea fans aren’t fussed whether he stays or goes this summer. Then we have our only entry, good old Samir ‘I won’t sign boss’ Nasri slipping in out wide. I know on the face of it, he deserves to be in there, but overall despite his best season ever, I still can’t help but feel a bit miffed at how anonymous he was in the second half of the season.

Tevez and Berbatov up top is hard to argue with, again though, Opta can’t take attitude into account. If the Bulgarian was so great this season, why are United offloading him over Michael Owen for £7.5million? Statistics can support, but they can’t ever define, you need your eyes for that!

One thing I’m definitely going to do is have a word with Opta… I can’t see Denilson or his amazing statistics in the mixer? Something must have gone awry in their system? Surely the God of short side ways crabbing should be at least a sub? It’s fricking travesty…

I did hear that Wenger has got hold of this infographic, the Daily mail report we’ve lodged a bid for Odemwingie off the back of Nik B shooting his mouth off about leaving us this summer. If we’re shipping out a the man with the best stats, we might as well bring in someone with even better ones,

Wenger knows…

Excuse the format fail, click to enlarge

Still, something that will warm the cockles of Arsene Wenger’s cold heart will be the fact that Arsenal won a trophy… yep, according to Opta statistics, our combined points total from all our players far out weighed our competitors. We romped home in the Opta League and for me… that’s up there with hitting the woodwork the most, the best away record and the ‘if we’d turned those loses into wins, things would have been different’ trophy.

Basically, we’ve had an amazing season and all you lot who speak a lot on the interweb are actually very ungrateful.

I do love reading Wenger comments like that. You know, the ‘well, we’ve consistently been in the Champions League for 15 years, the fans haven’t experienced anything else’ speech. Like no one remembers pre-Wenger, or all Arsenal fans look forward to the Champions League more than any other trophy. Speaking from a season ticket holders perspective, I have to say that the Champions League is a huge inconvenience. I appreciate we’re in it, but making your way from wherever you are in the country to sit in a freezing cold stadium to watch a boring game against at least two really poor teams really isn’t that exciting…

I much prefer our domestic schedule. The Champions League is prestigious, but I don’t see the £800k a win like Wenger and the board do. I’m not sure how others feel about it… that’s just me. I’m glad we’re in it, I just don’t punch the air in excitement about a home leg against Shaktar Donestsk.

Anyway, not much else in the news bar 368 stories about what we’re doing in America (bore me later Ivan) and that we’ve put a £54million price tag on Cesc Fabregas. How we came to that figure is a mystery but it sounds big… so let’s go with it!

I’m also pleased that Oxlade-Chamblerlain’s (My World of Warcraft name) dad has urged his son to join Arsenal. Another slow burner if you ask me, but what I like about his game is that he’s much more of a traditional wide man than Theo, and he is pretty direct as well. Though at 17, we have to accept that he won’t be ready for at least 4 years. Not that it matters… I’m sure he’ll have 160 games under his belt by then anyway, regardless of productivity.

Oxlade: Would certainly give our team an edge...

Right, that’s it. Time to resume the regular uttering of an Arsenal fans favourite phrase… ‘Have we signed anyone yet?’

No.

Happy Friday! Have a great day, let us know who’d be in your team of the year in the comments!


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734 Responses to “Arsenal win another trophy | Nigerian superstat on his way for small fee!”

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  1. WTL Gazidis £1.7m Per Annum - Cause Hes Worth It!

    Nah I have seen it all before, people are saying they are unhappy now but wait until August when the same people here will be saying that we couldnt sign the best players because of XYZ, making all the excuses under the sun for OGL and that we should be happy with Odemwingey, Oxtail Soup and A.N. Other shit frenchie.

  2. Gooby

    gambon

    buying them abroad give you chance to look at more kids and find more talents

    Not every one of them is overpaid and or bought for large fees. Toral came for 1 million.

    We paid 8m for walcott but he’s showing he was worth it, denilson turned out to be shit and it was a poor deal.

    I am sure we have enough scouts.

  3. goonerDNA

    I’ll be a AKB for today maybe next week too, because they is too many doomer yes man on here.

  4. dennisdamenace

    A man and his son were talking about sex. The son asked his father, “dad, what does a pussy look like?”
    The dad asked him, “before or after sex?”
    “Ummmm, before sex”, the kid replied.
    The dad said, “have you ever seen a beautiful red rose with soft red petals?”
    “Yeah” said the son.
    “Well, what about after sex?” said the son.
    His dad replied, “have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise”!!

  5. dennisdamenace

    And, here’s one for Pedro……

    Bought a dog from the locksmith the other day.

    Took him home and the first thing he did was make a bolt for the door!!

  6. Lurch LeRouge

    rohan

    wtl is definitely an AKB, but in a post structuralist kind of way.

    oh and sabeel, the disease is called

    Paracoccidioidomicosisproctitissarcomucosis

  7. gambon

    Gooby

    You should sign players who are ready to make a difference, not 100 kids, of which a few might come good.

    The youth system should focus on developing young local kids, both for financial reasons, and for the sake of english football.

    Henry Lansbury had to play RW most of the time at youth level after coquelin came in cos wenger shows priority to french & foreign kids.

    Barcelona have the right ethos. They train 99% spanish kids, and supplement this with high quality purchases, not cheap french shit.

    The way we do things creates a horrible situation of kids who are here for the money, dont support Arsenal & will be off before they hit their peak.

  8. dennisdamenace

    Fuck me! A hat trick, can’t be an Arsenal player then can i? Or, can i, i’m fucking cheap!!

    Oh wait, silly me i can’t speak fucking French.

  9. Master P

    gambon says:
    June 3, 2011 at 12:05

    Henry Lansbury had to play RW most of the time at youth level after coquelin came in cos wenger shows priority to french & foreign kids.

    Gambizzle, you is smokin’ some goooooood shizzle 😆

    And you’re a racist 😉

  10. Gooby

    Can we for once talk about footballers without mentioning their nationality?

    Why can’t we asses their footballing abilities without pointing out their french or african origins?

    is that possible?

  11. Koscielny is shit

    You guys are deluded as Wenger if you think Koscieleny will come good. The guy is an A class moron with a star. Who the fuck lets in that kind of goal for a final. I don’t care if you got a call from the keeper you hoof that fucker out of the stadium. The guys a number one clown and I’d rather have Eboue at centre back then that piece of shit. My hatred for that prick is more then Squillaci, even though they’re both a punch of tossers. On another note Wenger can suck a lemon and take his useless babies with him. He can leave Jack behind though.

  12. dennisdamenace

    Paddy says to Mick, “Christmas is on Friday this year”. Mick said, “Let’s hope it’s not the 13th then.”

    😯

  13. SUGA3

    MATHEMATICS — HIGHER TIER — 2011

    Q1) Sindeepa throws 4 unbiased coins and records the results.

    Calculate the probability we have used this name because we’re scared of being racist.

  14. Tim Tebow

    If we get odemwingie we’ll be even more f**ked when it comes to african nations. Odem and Chamakh both gone.

  15. Master P

    Afternoon Suga! DDM!! How hangs it, good sir?

    Gents, I’m off to the Dam next Saturday, anyone been there recently…..?

  16. finestcuts

    In defence of Koscielny, who remembers the home leg against Barcelona? He was outstanding. He has had some shit games but he’s proved he has the potential to be an excellent defender. Sure he need to up his game, but remember, it was only his first season in the Premier League and prior to that he only had one season in Ligue 1 therefore his inexperience showed. So i wouldn’t write him off, although as Wenger has himself stated we are in need of improvement defensively, especially as a team and I would welcome a top class centre back.

    I’d like to see Leighton Baines at left back, Clichy isn’t as good as he used to be. Vermaelen is quality, so is Sagna. Also we need a quality box to box or defensive midfielder.

    Our defence suffered from:

    1) Premier League inexperience.
    2) Not enough defending as a team.
    3) Height, we got undone on set pieces. We have the shortest team in the league, we need a few tall players who can mark dangerous players and are good in the air. Arshavin, Wilshere etc. aren’t adequate defensive cover for corners and close range free kicks.

  17. Rohan

    “Henry Lansbury had to play RW most of the time at youth level after coquelin came in cos wenger shows priority to french & foreign kids.

    Where the fuck do you get this shit?

  18. dennisdamenace

    Master P!! How are you, you fecker?

    Renewed?

    I haven’t, i’m taking my saved 0000’s and pissing off on holiday from July 1st – August 31st…..

  19. Lurch LeRouge

    BBC News: Dominic strauss-khan charged for attempted rape.

    typical french.. always giving up at any sign of struggle.

  20. Gooby

    SUGA3

    on what evidence? have you seen any top English kid who left arsenal and played for any other top club after that in the wenger era bar cole?

    Gambon

    very funny. Lay off them a bit, it won’t hurt.
    it’s joke friday and we should be coming up with better jokes!

  21. dennisdamenace

    Another one from the Pedro Joke Telling Almanac…..

    I saw a golf buggy this morning, parked in a disabled space.

    I thought to myself ‘I wonder what his handicap is’!!!!

  22. SUGA3

    Gooby,

    hmmm…

    why should we limit to just English players?

    as for the favouritism, I have just two words for you: Abou Diaby!

  23. bade the gooner (bernard)

    Hello poachers
    My beloved arsenal
    I’m here celebrating yet another amazing trophy
    Thanks pedro for the up date I almost missed that one mate
    What a great sunny day to chill with some cold pints of fine beer
    Just heard arsene has agreed pre contract with amazing couple who just got married, to sign their expected new-born in 9 months or so time. And if you’r bothered this might be girl don’t worry, she will join the most successful arsenal team of recent years! 😆

  24. gambon

    Rohan

    Absolutely true. Watch the youth cup final when we won.

    Team was

    ………………..Shea

    Eastmond…..Bartley…..Ayling…..Cruise

    ………….Coquelin…..Frimpong

    Lansbury………Wilshere………JET

    ……………….Sunu

    Notice Eastmond & Lansbury (English) being shifted out of position to make way from French African kids.

    Wenger is absolutely against the English. He should fuck off back to bumming french kids.

  25. dennisdamenace

    And, the legend that is Pedro grows ever bigger…..

    I was run over this morning by a snow plough. “Bastard” I shouted through gritted teeth!!

  26. gambon

    An English club should have an English spine, simple.

    Wenger couldnt fucking wait to get rid of the likes of Wright, Merson, Adams, Keown, Cole.

    Absolute shit cunt.

  27. SUGA3

    I hate this hot weather, I have to keep my windows closed because all my neighbour’s kids do is scream.

    I’m seriously considering giving them back.

  28. dennisdamenace

    Abou Diaby is actually Senegalese for “lazy fucking attitude, seldom delivers, fuckwit”

  29. Master P

    DDM….yes i did renew, although it is mainly because I have a few people in-line who are happy to ‘borrow’ my ticket’ when i cant go, so i get a bit of ‘cash back’
    😉

    I love the Dam mate, my spiritual home 😉
    Am spending this morning doing some research on the coffee shops, it is certainly NOT about visiting the commercial dross out there….

  30. dennisdamenace

    Brought the missus some crotch-less knickers yesterday, It had nothing to do with a sexual nature, it was so she could get a better grip on her fucking broomstick……

  31. Gooby

    We shouldn’t limit English players, i think we should have more of them.

    But when they are released because they are not good enough not because they’re English. Wenger waited 5 years for randall to come good, i don’t see why anyone would suggest he’s a racist.

  32. WTL Gazidis £1.7m Per Annum - Cause Hes Worth It!

    Lurch –

    Whats the full story with that guy?

    I heard he forced her to blow him twice, then went for the hattrick as she, after being forced to blow a 70 year old twice, went to make the bed.

    Seriously, three times in 30 mins for a coffin dodger!

    Sounds like bollocks to me, what are the facts?

  33. Lawrence Kamvazina

    I bet we will have a great song for ryo when he dones the red and white shirt next season eh?

  34. dennisdamenace

    MP – The last time i was there i stayed in the ‘Boat Hotel’, pretty basic, but fuck it, it was about the venue, not the accommodation……

    The Dutch are fucking brilliant.

    Truth is i’ve rented out my ST’s for next year.

    So, i suppose, technically i have renewed.

  35. Rohan

    Gooby says:
    June 3, 2011 at 12:32
    gambon

    Isn’t it Bould who took care of that final?

    —————————–

    hahahahahahahhahahahaha

    Bould’s a francophonic racist mug. Wenger’s brainwashed him.

  36. dennisdamenace

    My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner. It took her 5 hours to hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak!!

  37. gambon

    Bould himself says his job is development not trophies.

    He does what hes told to mould foreign kids for lord Wengers French African football emporium.

    Even the first team is just a development academy for players to put the finishing touches on before they secure a big move.

    Disgustingly run club.

    Keyser is right though, I was born in Dakar, moved to gay Paris at 3, and now look like the fat guy from Coming to America that sings “She’s your queen to be…”

    I stand at the emirates going “Go Eboue, Go Song, Go Djourou”…..but dont bother cheering when english players are on the ball.

  38. SUGA3

    I was waiting at the bus stop when a fat woman waddled up.

    “When’s it due, love?” I asked.

    “You cheeky bastard!” she spat.

    “The bus, chubby,” I said. “Who’d want to fuck you?”

  39. gambon

    GoonerDNA

    Im looking forward to seeing what they can do.

    They are all raised in London, support the club, and have been there for 10 years.

    Very different from some cunt that dreams of playing for Madrid, Utd, Dagenham & Redbridge.

  40. goonerDNA

    Suga3,

    You’re so reactionary, I was showing gambon that not all Africans are fast tracked the fact that they English is another point.

    So read the fucking trail next time before you start running your dirty gums

  41. Lawrence Kamvazina

    Do you remember the way we laughed at vidic in his debut season?He was totally shite.Compare his debut season with koscielny’s and you will see the massive difference.Yes,he cost us the carling mug,but i say come the end of next season we will have a very different opinion of our new number 6.Even nigel winterburn rates for crying out loud….

  42. SUGA3

    ddm,

    thought as much afterwards 😉

    DNA,

    still, the French African kids have more of a chance than English African kids…

    and play nice, will ya? dirty gums? yawn…

  43. gambon

    “Do you remember the way we laughed at vidic in his debut season?”

    Lol, no.

    KKBs often say this, but its not very true.

    That season UTD won the PL and conceded 27 goals. He also scored a few goals.

    Compare that with Dr Disaster Koscielny, who spent his first season giving away penalties, getting sent off & being shit.

  44. Lawrence Kamvazina

    Will the 4-4-2 work with jack and Cesc/ramsey in the middle next season,or will it be jack and song coz i have a gut feeling that we will be using 2 strikers next season.Robin playing in the iceman role just behind Carlos”Hookers r US”VELA

  45. Lurch LeRouge

    Dunno really WTL, although he seems to have a few skeletons in his closet.

    That said as an IMF’er there’s a load of very angry 2/3rd world nations out there who’d like nothing more than to send people like him inside, so there’s every chance its a load of BS and he was set up.

  46. bade the gooner (bernard)

    Hey le grove
    Cong for the new moderated mobile site….
    But why I’m waiting moderations? You ****q#*aa*aaqa6hffhhf!!!!

  47. SUGA3

    Lee Dixon said that Man Utd midfielder Park Ji-Sung “offers a different slant to their attack.”

    That’s like saying that Didier Drogba brings a darker edge to Chelsea’s frontline.

  48. Lawrence Kamvazina

    Lol@ Dr Disaster.Quite funny Gambon.But give the guy a chance,Chielinni gives away as many penalties in Italy too,ok he has a hearcut that resembles a bird’s(the flying ones) but still…….

  49. Lurch LeRouge

    I thought Manual Labour was a Spanish waiter.

    Then again, I though Hertz van Rental was a Dutch painter.

  50. Lawrence Kamvazina

    Lee Dixon said that Man Utd midfielder Park Ji-Sung “offers a different slant to their attack.”

    That’s like saying that Didier Drogba brings a darker edge to Chelsea’s frontline.

    Classic Suga!Here’s another one,Chamack sure does …..neva mind…..Suga i leave it to you to finish it.

  51. Matt

    DDM and Suga, nice efforts with the jokes lads. Keep em coming.

    Madrid want rid of Diarra. Dont know why we wouldnt go after him. He is 100 times better than song.

  52. dennisdamenace

    Matt, i’m very sorry, but Suga’s effort was extremely poooooooooooooer!!

    in fact he could be Pedro in disguise!!

    That’s how poo he was!!!

  53. Frankie K

    Love the fact that the worst rag in the WORLD partners up with the second worst Arsenal blog out there (only Arsenal Truth rivals you for the drivel spouted on here).

  54. Lawrence Kamvazina

    diarra would be a good buy MATT.But that Mvilla fellow ain’t bad either.Song needs serious competition

  55. Lurch LeRouge

    RE: arsehole.com

    haha yup may as well go straight to the source for some shit for yer chips!

  56. dennisdamenace

    As an aside (noun – in addition to or besides somebody or something – that was for Frankie K), off to Ronnie Scott’s in August to see Incognito…….very excited about this, like i used to be when going to Highbury, but not that other place.

  57. Lawrence Kamvazina

    What do you guys think about our new home kit for next season?The long sleeved version is already a classic.Reminicent of the 71 kit with the red socks!Just win a bloody trophy boys….

  58. oluakindele

    GAMBO

    Erm are You retarted Miyaichi is the future ronnaldo if you dont now u need to go re think that.

  59. Lawrence Kamvazina

    Matt Frimpong might just be the surprise young player of the year next seson.So your not far off there……Is robby earl a man pooo supporter coz everytime he commentates for them he is literally wanking lyrical about em,plus he seems anti-ARSENAL.Really biased pundit

  60. dennisdamenace

    oluakindele says:
    June 3, 2011 at 13:25
    GAMBO

    Erm are You retarted Miyaichi is the future ronnaldo if you dont now u need to go re think that.

    Yes, and Merida was the new Maradona!

  61. gambon

    “GAMBO

    Erm are You retarted Miyaichi is the future ronnaldo if you dont now u need to go re think that”

    There is less than 0.01% chance that Miyaichi is ever as good as Ronaldo….or Ronnaldo.

    You retart.

  62. Lawrence Kamvazina

    Retart!Classic Gambon right there.Myaichi will be class.FACT!Feyenoord is no small club and the impact he made was remarkable.His trademark is his workrate,that’s what makes PARK a dependable asset.His work rate if applied correctly will be beneficial to us in the long run.

  63. dennisdamenace

    Question?

    How are these players being signed, when The FA confirmed to me that the transfer window doesn’t open until the 9th June????

  64. dennisdamenace

    Friedel’s still more reliable than ANY of our GK’s, he’d make a great No.2 for Chezzer!

  65. SUGA3

    ddm,

    transfer window is when you can announce it officially with presentation and all that…

    besides, wasn’t Friedel a free agent?

  66. gambon

    Feyenoord are about the same level as Ipswich, and that is serious.

    Miyaichi may be a good player, he has a lot of attributes.

    The whole reason weirdos are mentioning him is cos I said he was a ‘useless kid’ which is 100% true. How can he be of any use when he will be at Fyenoord for the next 3 years?

  67. dennisdamenace

    Miyaichi may end up being a good player, but right now he’s about as much use to use as a chocolate fucking teapot.

    People should be geting excited about first teamers, not players who MIGHT one day – for one day read three/fours years time – be good enough to play for us.

    Mind you if dogshit like Denilson can be a first team regular then i suppose any cunt can be.

  68. Lawrence Kamvazina

    Gambon mate lets just wait till pre-season and then we can judge this kid!If all goes well he may just get that special talent thingy…..

    Feyenoord are just about as good as sunderland!

  69. gambon

    DDM

    Its hilarious how Wenger has made all gooners obsessed with kids.

    The amount of people you see on here who want Lansbury or Miyaichi in the team is embarassing.

    Or A, who told everyone that Wellington & JET were gonna be huge players for us in the second half of the season.

  70. SUGA3

    Lawrence,

    are you serious? pre-season is in two months, and we should not be considering Frimpong as anything but a third choice / cup player!

  71. Lawrence Kamvazina

    Denilson was shite..will never forgive him for letting a cunting ref overtake him in a sprint to our goal.Fucking jogging cunt..SORRY

  72. dennisdamenace

    That’ll be the same Wellington & JET who can’t get a regular place or even a start for the mighty Levante & equally mighty Cardiff……….

  73. gambon

    Suga

    Agreed, but id just rather we signed some proven quality at 26 years old.

    If Lansbury cant get in the Norwich team Im sceptical what he can bring to us.

  74. gooner-pak

    got this text message

    Whats the opposite of Manchester United?
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    “Woman Breast are Divided”

  75. Lawrence Kamvazina

    SUGA, your right but don’t for get this guy was with wilshere in the first team last season.Injury robbed him of his chance,but from what i saw,the kid has an Essien edge about him…Give him a chance..

  76. Lawrence Kamvazina

    Gambon,who do have in mind for our defensive midfield role next season?COZ SONG AIN’T DISCIPLINED FOR DM DUTIES IN MY VIEW

  77. SUGA3

    gambon,

    it’s obvious that loanees will not have the priority ahead of your regular players, besides, he did well enough when he got the chance, didn’t he?

  78. Koscielny is shit

    I don’t understand those defending Koscielny. First of all he’s 25 had played in Ligue 1 for a season. Why the FUCK did Wenger go out and sign this guy? Did he think this was the answer to the experience needed at the back. 10 million? Are you having a fucking laugh? For 5-10 million more we could have had a world class centre back – i.e. Chiellini. Why not even use that extra money to sign Sakho. This fool Koscielny wasn’t even in the French national team and also do you muppets not remember his first game again Liverpool. I’m sorry but he didn’t make Messi look shit at all, a few good challenges and then suddenly he’s going to be world class. Fuck off. Messi ran rings around him and Djourou. Can you imagine a season of Squillaci and Koscileny at the back? Fuck me. I don’t think I’d bother watching.

  79. Lawrence Kamvazina

    Damn u vuvuzela season,Damn you.I forgot about that….Hargrieves is worth a punt..lol

  80. gambon

    Suga

    Good enough when he played kind of misses the point – that being…why couldnt he get in the Norwich first XI?

    If I told you we were about to sign a 20 year old from QPR who wasnt in their first XI, you would be horrified, as would I.

  81. Lawrence Kamvazina

    Laurent Koscielny will be the next Blanc for the French.I haven’t seen a defender this year or last mark LIONELL like koscielny did.And i’m proud he’s our defender and not UNITED’S.