Season ticket stinger… | Mad Jens signs | Some great stats for you!

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So the worst kept secret since Wayne Rooney entrusted a hooker with £200 to buy him some fags is out…

Jens Lehmann is back!

I was told about it on Sunday, totally forgot about it amongst all the other stuff, then missed out on an exclusive


Anyway, I’m pretty excited about it. I’m not really sure why so many people are getting bent out of shape about it. The likelyhood of him playing are about as slim as Denilson picking up an injury or getting that much mooted transfer to Barcelona this summer. Manchester City, with more money than Wayne Rooney’s hooker after buying him some fags, had a similar situation last year and they ended up ushering in Márton Fülöp.

Jens will come in, kick a few puppies, shout at a few people for standing on his shadow and possibly chase Almunia round the shower with a damp towel (that’ll get some colour in his gaunt cheeks). He’s been around the camp for a few weeks apparently and he’s been great. You can’t argue with his inclusion, the guy is a legend. It’s amazing, when he was with us, I always used to find myself getting angry at his petulance… how I’d have opted for that over the calamities we’ve faced over the past few years.

Still, we’re in good shape on the goalkeeping front. No one could account for the mess that’s happened this year. Chezzer is our number 1 now, he is probably the best young keeper in the world and he will be a great asset going forward.

Onto news of a more serious nature. Geoff and I received our club level season ticket renewals through the post yesterday, Arsenal have lumped us with a 6.5% price increase taking a pair of tickets up to £5540 for the season. All in all, the total additional revenue generated by this pocket busting exercise is about £6million. That’s 2 Abou Diaby’s in wage terms. I find it disgraceful that we’re employing an expensive collection of International Commercial monsters and the best they could come up with for revenue generation ideas was a ticket price increase.

I also find it amazing that we’ve employed a new Communications guy and he didn’t look at the fixture list before landing the bombshell on our doorsteps. What an absolutely believable piece of toilet Arsenal PR. Where do the club get off doing this to us at this time?

People will say that 6.5% when you consider inflation and the VAT rise isn’t that much. Well, it depends what angle you look at it. If you think we merit the most expensive ticket in the game, fair shout. If you think like most that we’re being shafted, you’ll probably find the increase harder to stomach than seeing Wayne Rooney naked smoking a £200 box of fags after sex with a hooker.

We pay all this money and the coach doesn’t invest in the squad, we haven’t won anything for 5 seasons, the wage bill is going up, the managers salary is at £7million, the CEO is getting a 70% bonus and we’re lumped with the increase in inflationary costs?

@TimPayton made a great point on twitter yesterday, if we’d won our Champions League group and qualified for the quarter finals, we’d have an extra £8million in the bank right now. That’s 40,000 boxes of Wayne Rooney fags.

If you thought that was bad enough, we’ll be donning two new strips again for our 125 year anniversary (The away one will be blue because they sell more). It’s absolutely relentless being an Arsenal fan and it’s becoming an unfeasible for even the well off middle class these days. Arsenal need to be careful they don’t kill the goose that laid the golden egg, even if Arsenal promise to engrave that egg with your name for an extra £45.

As with all things, there comes a tipping point, with all the empty seats we’ve seen in a pretty competitive season this year, you wonder if fans are reaching it?

I don’t mind wedging out for a ticket if I know the club are going to invest in the playing staff… and I don’t mean paying our poor players more than they’re worth, I mean buying in what we need. I’d much prefer a lean squad of top players who want to fight for the shirt than a squad of over paid teenagers who might make it with a dubious attitude. Paying out football tax and seeing it squandered is gutting and if it’s not pricing people out of paying, I’m sure it’s making them feel a little queazy at the prospect of handing over their pay day loan to cover the cost.

Since Arsenal purchased Dennis Bergkamp way back in 1996, we’ve never had to sell a season ticket on general sale. 8,000 people bought a season ticket off the  back of his signing. Who says superstars are a waste of money?

The sad fact is, we’re still 50% more expensive than Manchester United across all levels. Now, I know it’s pretty under privelaged once you’re outside the M25, but not to the extent where ticket prices are that much lower.

It was interesting that last year people flew down the waiting list. People claimed that Le Grove lied about that, well, I’m pretty sure if you know anyone on the list they’ll tell you first hand their number dropped significantly. The thing with a waiting list is that there is a big difference  between being on it complaining about not getting a chance… then actually being presented with a £2,500 bill for two tickets. Now, I know plenty of people wouldn’t have paid, however, I can’t lay my hands on those statistics. What I can tell you is that a number of additional season tickets were made available last year in the areas that didn’t sell well when on general sale.

Last season the overall ticket churn was 3%, question is, what will it be this year?

I can’t leave you without giving you a balanced argument, we’d never do such a thing on this Arsenal blog.

If there was a tick box on your season ticket form that said, ‘The keep Cesc & Nasri‘ fund and the cost was 6% on your ticket, what would you do? That’s the reality of it. Samir Nasri is not going to sign up for anything less than what he’d get at Chelsea or Manchester City. Arsenal did not have those two clubs in mind when they moved over to the Emirates and for those of you asking why we left Highbury, well, our wage bill is now equal to the total revenue made at Highbury. We’d be dead and buried like Everton if we’d stayed.

That said, I still believe when you earn the money the people at the club earn, you lose touch with reality. Who on our board is thinking about the fans? No one is my guess… Can you see people like PHW caring a hoot about fans struggling to pay their fees to see their beloved club? I can’t. It’s days like yesterday that make you feel what you have become… just another paying customer.

Shame on you Arsenal, shame on you.

P.S. Le Grove had ventured into the exciting world of tumblr! We used to have a funnies page, it became too much for me to handle and it was hard to access. So instead, we’ve set up a Le Grove Tumblr so I can stick the best photo shopped pics on there. In fact, any pictures or videos you might have would be of interest. As long as they’re unique and most importantly… funny!

Finally, if I haven’t responded to your e-mails over the last month, it’s mostly because I went all big time when the band Morning Parade said we were their favourite blog. We didn’t hang out or anything, I just stayed in, drank coffee and ignored e-mails. Anyway, I’m back online, so if you do e-mail in, I promise a prompt response.

Finally, finally, if you have any spares for WBA, get in touch, I have buyers galore. I also have club level renting opportunities if you’re interested. Enquire within!

Also… pray for JD, could be back sooner than expected… according to others.

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720 Responses to “Season ticket stinger… | Mad Jens signs | Some great stats for you!”

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  1. SUGA3


    they do, but RvP was also further down the pecking order for quite some time…


    the ‘knob’ bit was a tad unnecessary, behave yourself you little schmuck…

  2. zeus

    Hernandez scores his 15th goal for the seaon.
    First season in England.

    How in the world did we miss out on him?

  3. Kushagra India

    Suga Gr8 read…

    Radiation will stay in the Chernobyl area for the next 48.000 years, but humans may begin repopulating the area in about 600 years – give or take three centuries. The experts predict that, by then, the most dangerous elements will have disappeared – or been sufficiently diluted into the rest of the world’s air, soil and water. If our government can somehow find the money and political will power to finance the necessary scientific research, perhaps a way will be discovered to neutralize or clean up the contamination sooner. Otherwise, our distant ancestors will have to wait untill the radiation diminishes to a tolerable level. If we use the lowest scientific estimate, that will be 300 years from now……some scientists say it may be as long as 900 years

  4. Rohan

    SUGA, all those arguments over the years, and you’re calling me out for that?

    Atleast have some respect and call me out for my taste in music or something. 😀

    Alright then. I’m off. Cheers, keep the faith and don’t forget that we have His Royal Pinkiness for the run in.

  5. Pat

    Not sure if any of you heard of Madrid’s and Valencia’s complaints against Barca. They want every player to undergo doping tests.

    They have the right to question it. Barca rarely rotate, even in friendly games, despite their pressing game. Xavi has played 70 games a season on average for the past 3 seasons.

  6. SUGA3


    there are some great pics there, worth a read throughout…

    check out this video, the quality is a bit shit, but you can actually see the fuel rods:

  7. SUGA3

    did someone say Hernandez was shit? 😆


    no worries mate, I would surely prefer Bendy to earn the Ballon d’Or in the next two months or so 😉

  8. David

    Rohan Bendy has only played 4 games out of position this season.

    And that was to get his fitness levesl up


  9. Gooner786

    Arsenal F.C. End of Season Dinner Menu

    Egg on Face
    Seasoned Hash
    Spanish Surprise (well beaten)

    Main course :
    Chump Chops
    French (has) Beans
    Manager’s Beef (not rare)
    Catch of the Day – (gutted)
    NB: everything is imported, nothing is home grown.

    Sour Grapes (may be hard to swallow)
    Fruitless Tarts
    Raspberry Fools
    Hard Cheese
    Humble Pie

    Little Spirit
    French Whine
    Cabernet Empty 2005/06/07/08/09/10/11
    Champagne – sorry none ordered

    NB: drinks should be consumed from glasses as there will be no cups this year.

  10. Pat

    Diawara should’ve scored that. Fuck.

    On one hand I want United to lose while on the other I want them to play Barca in the semis. We’d play them in between those games.

  11. zeus


    Thats is terrible. The one song that doesn’t give you a ‘watch on youtube’ massage when you post it on here and its that.


  12. zeus

    Let the cunts go through.

    With a possible unlikely Djourou return we stand a real chance playing a game a week.

    Man U for the win…………..*vomit*

  13. SUGA3


    they have a massive problem there, as they have no fucking clue what to do if the worst thing happens, they should just start getting the people the fuck out of there, seriously…

    when Chernobyl disaster happened I was about 8 years old and I remember having to drink some iodine based shit to prevent contaminating my thyroid with the radioactive iodine…

    and what a bunch of fucks these commies were: can you believe, they actually did not tell anybody? the news in Poland broke after the Swedes detected a massive radioactive cloud and it was aired on the Free Europe Radio!

  14. Dutchman

    Bayern- Inter brilliant game. That’s what football is all about! I love robben and ribery!

    About lansbury, i think he will be perfect for this arsenal side. We need a player like lansbury, he is like fletcher but more technical! We will need him.

  15. Arsene Nose Best

    Arsenal CE Ivan Gazidis recently told Radio 5 live: “For us winning is certainly important but it is not the end objective of everything.”


  16. incesc

    gotta say wenger is pretty much to blame for that bath city/polish stuff.

    he was the one that introduced foriegners to our game

  17. Arsene Nose Best


    Please ell us it’s wenger throwing in the towel and calling it a day

  18. Big Dave


    I saw that last week and it’s a discgrace he said that just goes to show you all what is wrong with the club at present

  19. SUGA3

    Arsenal CE Ivan Gazidis recently told Radio 5 live: “For us winning is certainly important but it is not the end objective of everything.”


    well, BBK, I have to second that:


  20. SUGA3

    once again, the wise men of Le Grove were right all along:

    – Uncle Festa is a puppet yes man
    – given the commercial revenue not moving an inch, the multi-million marketing team made of unemployed Yanks who must have fucked up some hedge fund beforehand is a bit gash

  21. Pat

    And Cheyrou should have scored right before that. fucking lucky cunts. Marseille had 3 easy chances this game, failed to take any

  22. Arsene Nose Best

    big dave,see

    Arsene Nose Best says:
    March 15, 2011 at 21:09

    Please ell us it’s wenger throwing in the towel and calling it a day

  23. Colonel Mustard

    Say what u want about the Manc, they buy a ferret striker and he bangs them in…not like our second string dross…

  24. Arsene Nose Best

    Little mexican scores again, we got the wrong one

    i said the same thin a while ago,velahahahhahha

  25. Dial Square

    Gazidis is right,thats why my family spend £7500 for season tickets. Who cares if we win or not as long as the food is good.

  26. Hitman

    I was comparing notes with a City fan at work. We agreed Utd get unbeliveable luck. Neither Arse nor City have had that luck in living memory.

    1999 v Bayern – 2 scuffed shots win the EC. Bayern hit the post twice.
    2008 v John Terry slips on the point of scoring winning penalty.

    You couldnt make it up. Tonight they get outplayed but still manage to get through.

  27. Rohan

    He gets good service that’s all. He’s a proper fox in the box. All of his goals are tap-ins. That said, he does have a knack for being in the right place at the right time, that you can’t really teach.

    He wouldn’t score half as many for us. That’s because our style of play is a lot less direct. United’s play is intended for goals like that. We score a lot more goals than them from across the pitch. A lot more variety.

  28. GoonerT1m

    Don’t we always get the wrong one, fuck me, watching some of these players tonight, we are miles away

  29. BillikenGooner

    Am I allowed to let my natural hatred for them to flow and root for Marseilles to get another goal or do I have to be selfless and want United to be in as many comp’s as possible in the run in?

    I’m so confused.

  30. Hitman

    The difference between Ferret & our 2nd string dross is movement.

    Our strikers are so static it makes life easy for defenders. Plus our 2nd string strikers are thick.

  31. Hitman

    Pace and movement will always get you goals. Nothing to do with style of play. Proper strikers will always score.

  32. SUGA3


    the job was not done, was it? last time I felt like that must have been when we went on that run in 2006…

    Real Madrid game, now that was a moment!

  33. Kushagra India

    An Eto-esque striker would have won us the league single handedly…Sneijder’s goal was pure class no one here finishes like that barring RVP…

  34. Big Dave


    Yeah that was a good one.

    Hope Man u get a tough draw for qf and semi, plus a load of injuries. can dream……

  35. gambon

    We beat barca

    Lol, in the first leg of a 2 leg tie.

    What next ….”we were 1 nil up against utd for 3 minutes”.

  36. Rohan

    Dunno about Shakhtar. I’ve been extremely impressed.

    Schalke is tricky although yeah, they’re probably slight favorites.

  37. Kushagra India

    Rooney Hernandez Berbatov conceal their midfield deficiencies
    Tevez Balotelli Dzeko
    Torres Anelka Drogba

  38. Rohan

    Dunno about you, but I’ll never forget the game at teh Emirates.

    The most special night the new stadium has seen imo.

  39. gambon

    Samuel etoo is true world class, forget Rvp.

    Wenger has never even tried to sign him, cos the freak couldn’t take the credit.

  40. Kushagra India

    He can play anywhere in a 4-3-3 instigating Inter’s revival has one everything to be one what an underrated player one of the best of the last decade IMO….

  41. SUGA3

    the same Shakhtar we dicked 5:1 at home?

    so they went past Roma, so what? Serie A is fucking toilet, the only team with proper players is Inter, IMO…

    we would have beaten Roma on one leg, ffs!

    and don’t say Ibra and Robinho at AC, they are toilet too!

  42. GoonerT1m

    The waiter was in charge of them then, he managed to mess them all up so bad they let bale slip 3 past them, that wouldn’t happen again!

  43. G STAR



    fuck it

    we still have denilson and diaby

  44. Big Dave

    Grimandi as no2,but also heard Louis Enrique name as well as a num 2? The grampus eight manager as number 1

  45. SUGA3

    G STAR,

    to be honest, I think they could stay if the club hired someone serious enough – the seriousness of the individual being measured in how quickly he can get rid of Dumb, Dumber, Junkie and HRP 😆

    if anyone wants to follow Wenger through the door, good riddance…

  46. Arsene Nose Best

    Grimandi as no2,but also heard Louis Enrique name as well as a num 2? The grampus eight manager as number 1

    that will be sooooooooooooo shit if that happends.

  47. Pat

    No way Spurs would beat Schaktar. They’ve improved with each game and are actually one of the teams I’d want Arsenal to avoid if we were still in it.

    Spurs pace would rip Schalke apart.

  48. Kushagra India

    Yep if Chavs get their Mojo back they can get to Wembley will hate to see that …what a golden opportunity it was for us .4-5 teams look pretty average to me

  49. Samir

    LATEST NEWS – 100% True


    It’s a laugh though 😀

    Well done G Star 😉

  50. G STAR

    “I have heard the rumours about Wenger leaving for the past three years,” Fabregas told the Daily Mirror.

    “If he left the club then of course I would consider my own future and whether I would leave the club.

  51. G STAR

    Big Dave as you heard the rumours about denilson



    diaby has nude photos of wenger

  52. ice

    Yup just got a call from my mate in the Arsenal media group to say it’s true that Wenger’s contract is to be terminated at the end of the season with an option for him to go now if he so chooses

    Ciao Arsene (take Clownmoonia with you)please…..

  53. SUGA3

    to be honest, it’s a pretty bad idea, unless the big fella has gone off his rocker and does not seem to be willing to change his ways…

  54. G STAR

    BBK u shud be in tears,


    le senile cunt will dominate the world next season, or the one after that, or after that, and maybe in 20 years time

  55. Arsene Nose Best

    Arsene Wenger’s new £6million Arsenal salary gives him wages of £115,000-a-week at Emirates – News –

  56. G STAR


    players leavin if wenger goes

  57. Arsene Nose Best

    big dave – m8 that is tragic,why fucking grimandi,anyone else apart from that cunt, these cunts know how to fuck everyone off.

  58. Pat

    Announcing such a decision now will compound the stupidity of the club. SAF lost the locker room when he said he’s retiring.

  59. G STAR

    BIG DAVE, think about it, maybe thats why NASRi and ClICHY are stalling on there contract, and FABREGAS didnt complain about his failure to go to BARCA