Arsenal spank West Ham – Standard | Review and Ratings

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Highlights | Interview

I could go into this match report like a child that’s just witnessed my first Arsenal demolition, but I don’t feel the the need to.

Geoff rightly pointed out yesterday that we should beat West Ham by 3-4 goals. They are bottom of the league, their best players were out injured and to be honest, even if their whole team were back, we would and should have given them a spanking.

I know that a few of my friends will read this report today. Why? Because I’ll plaster it all over their social media applications. Most of them will know I said at the start of the season the Hammers would drop. Why? No passion, no heart, no will to win for the fans. It’s as simple as that. If the players have no connection to the club and a neutral can see that, you’re in all sorts of trouble.

So, the point is, I’d find it a little embarrassing for me to talk up this victory in any other way than to say it was expected and it was standard.

We played some superb football yesterday evening. Wenger fielded the strongest team he could bar the right back position. Robin, Song and Nasri dropped into the starting line up and boy could you tell the difference! West Ham pressed us for about ten minutes but after that we seemed to open them up at will.

For the opener, Jack Wilshere slipped Theo into the box, he cut the ball back to Nasri who dummied the ball (interesting that when you do that in Sunday league it’s classed as an air shot) for Robin Van Persie to tuck home with clinical precision! What’s that? A goal in open play from Robin! Excellent stuff…

Arsenal continued to batter West Ham possession wise. Theo missed a glorious one on one chance after Alex Song played him through the centre. The man from Cameroon nearly benefitted from a deflected shot.

It wasn’t going particularly well at the back. JD has a new concept in his head about back passing. He slips in the attacker so Chesney has to make a Peter Schmeichel style save to recover. He did the same against Ipswich. He also keeps on shielding the ball back into our area even when there’s no need to.

Van Persie hit the post after a nice run and cut back by Cesc, I started to wonder if this had a sucker punch draw written over it?

Not to worry. Samir Nasri chipped a perfect pass down the line to Robin Van Persie, the Dutchman managed to somehow cut it back to Theo for a relatively bread and butter finish (Watch the line Wayne). Lovely. We had a cushion going into half time.

Carlton Cole had the opportunity to show the world he’s not a complete donkey but failed when he glanced a header about 10 feet wide of the post from a good cross.

West Ham had a half chance in the second half that looked like a scuffed cross from Freddy Sears… Chesney was forced to tip it over the bar.

Shortly after, Theo found his back to goal struggling to pick up a Nasri pass, he ran across the box to retrieve it, Wayne Bridge came flying in and scissor kicked him down. What a ridiculous piece of defending from a man on £90k a week. Penalty. Up stepped Robin Van Persi, 3-0!

At this point, salt of the earth, we support through thick and thin, ‘how’s the library’, West Ham United fans started to evaporate from the stadium so efficiently, some wondered if it was a well rehearsed fire drill? The only supporters left in the stadium were the ones that had fallen asleep during the second half. Yep, we saw all three of them in quick succession.

Please West Ham fans, no more jibes about our support.

So, the final score was 3-0. A very acceptable score line in a tie that we’re more than capable of slipping up in. The first team dominated possession from the off, we could have done with being more clinical but the positives are clear and there for all to see. Wenger needs to stop tinkering going forward. This line up can handle one or two changes maximum, but we don’t have the quality to make the wholesale  changes we have been.

We march on, hoping to take the Premiership by stealth. It’s ours to chase and that’s always a good position to be in. The longer United’s winning streak goes on, the more likely a February loss is going to hit them extremely hard. It would be nice if Spurs could do us a favour today but somehow, I can’t see it happening. The perennial failures from down the road don’t have it in them…


Chezzer – He made a couple of top quality saves, notably the one JD assisted in. He makes himself big, he positions himself well and no one really targets us from high balls when he’s between the sticks. There were a few hairy moments, one where he shouted for JD to leave it in the box, it bounced and nearly went in over his head. He also has a problem with his distribution. We all know what happens when you can’t kick but you have all the other attributes… ask Alex Manninger. 7

Clichy – He’s starting to find his feet again. His crossing still leaves a lot to be desired but I think he’s defending better. He made a couple of vital interceptions today. 7

JD – Probably his poorest game of the season so far. His insistence on shielding the ball and playing his way into dangerous situations was irking me somewhat. Though he helped keep a clean sheet. 6

Kozzer – I’m a fan… so sue me. I think people have to start looking at him with fresh eyes. He’s benefitting from playing next to a player who is dominant in the air. He’s brave, he’s nippy and I think he reads the game well. His best attribute is his attitude to defending, he doesn’t let anything phase him. One to watch I feel… 7

Eboue – Still incredibly infuriating to watch. He has all the raw ingredients to be a great player, he just doesn’t know how to mix them correctly. His positioning is awful, but luckily, so were West Ham. 6

Song – I thought he had a strong game today. His passing might not always be spot on, but he does create chances and he puts himself in the position to score as well. I think he’s found a balance to his game which seems to be working nicely. 8

Jack  – Geoff said that he was expecting a Messi style player but what we’ve got is a Ray Parlour with bells and whistles. Very true. He’s a battler in the middle of the park and he has the right blend of skill and passion. I love watching him mix it up and I love watching him when he plays as well as he did yesterday. 8

Cesc – How much better does our captain look when he’s playing with form players? He creates space for himself like no other and he looked sharp yesterday. 7

Nasri – A solid game from Samir. I like his new-found swagger, he has a very French attitude on the pitch. One that only comes to the fore when you are close to greatness. The way he prances around the pitch is reminiscent of Bobby and Henry in their prime. He knows he is better than everyone else and it’s a pleasure to watch. 7.5

Theo Walcott – I’m falling in love with a player I’m insistent my sister marries. There’s nothing corrupt about this young man which posed questions about his ability to make it at the highest level. Well, I’ll be damned, nice guys can tear defences a new one. He’s found a bit of skill in his game, he’s more clinical and direct that he used to be and he’s making the right decisions. He does favour going inside a little too often, I think he’d have a more rounded game if he turned wide once in a while. I’m sure that’ll come. Great performance. 8

Robin Van Persie – Well, it has only taken 2 months, but finally we’re starting to get some value from one of our best paid players. His shooting had that crispness about it I haven’t seen so far this season. His decision making was great and his sharpness was undeniably back. My only worry? He’s surely due an injury…. Just kidding. But kind of not. The Dutchman is back and he’s on the goal trail. 9

444 Responses to “Arsenal spank West Ham – Standard | Review and Ratings”

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  1. gambon

    The chances are Ryo & Wellington don’t ever play a serious game for us.

    Always find it strange that the fans are now also obsessed with youth.

  2. DaleDaGooner

    Not that i care about the cocks, but Crouch shouldn’t be starting ahead of Pavlyuchenko……ewww this game has me rooting for the cocks….it’s disgusting, but a bit like taking a nasty cough medicine.

  3. Rohan

    That’s taking a bit too far isn’t it gambon. I’d say there is a pretty decent chance one of them play a “serious” game for us.

    As for them making it, “Arsene Knows”. 😀

  4. pantsR2long

    Fuck the spuds, I hate to see them happy so I’ll go for a draw! 1-1 with shrek and mighty joe young to score one each for their respective teams.

  5. DaleDaGooner

    gambon, CR7 was once a 19 year old signing for Manure, Messi, another youngster in the La Masia….one has to look to the youngsters for some magic….we can’t solve everything by buying it all up. Barca’s success of recent was all down to their youth setup players.

    1886-2006….we know that feeling but manure needs to loose, and soon too! i hate rooting for the cocks, but i need them to be useful and then they can drop off after this…

  6. gambon


    Nordveit was gonna be the next big thing…”the best young defender in europe”…and Merida, and Barazite, and Vela, Aliadiere etc.

    The problem with kids is you have to rely on them improving, which they often don’t do.

  7. gambon


    Ronaldo at 19 was all show, no end product. Ronaldo at 23 was the best in the world.

    We’ve been sold the future for 6 years and its done Fuck all for us. I would rather not wait another 6 years to see if the next batch are good enough.

  8. DaleDaGooner

    gambo…to find the next R9, CR7, LM10, Kaka, Iniesta, Xavi… gotta keep a set of youngsters. Buying one for 200m is just too expensive for some teams, and to not win a trophy for 2 years after buying one, is frustrating. I would love we keep a good set of promising youngster while we have 4 or 5 quality world class players within the squad.


    Bolton want 20 million for Cahill but Wenger wont pay over 8 million,Wenger is a tight cunt and it will cost us as the season goes on.

  10. DaleDaGooner

    Pedro no doubt, but we aren’t the team that goes out to buy CR7’s or R9 at their prime. We’ve only been lucky to take chances on almost there kinda players, it’s been that way before Wenger.

  11. DaleDaGooner

    TOMTOM…Cut it out! No one in their right mind should pay 20m for Gary Cahill, we’ve been through that discussion

  12. DaleDaGooner

    Ok, fair enough David, so should we give up on getting Eden Hazard? very similar in playing style to Ronaldo

  13. DaleDaGooner

    Tricks and Dribbling, Pace, Power and a good shot! I didn’t say they where completely alike, but similar style of play.

  14. Gooby


    in every club that follows a youth policy you develop a lot of youngsters and only a few make it. i don’t see how it bother you having nordveit for 2/3 years, he was on loan most of the time and we got money for him. you have to take a gamble.
    at the end of the day we have cesc, theo, jack, gibbs, clichy; djourou they all made it to the first team and are quality.

  15. SlickBangGoal

    Hazard is still raw, i think he could become evenn better than ronaldo and be a loyal player cause he has a good attitude but i can see him leaving for madrid in his late 20s

  16. DaleDaGooner

    Can’t compare AA23’s condition with CR7…AA23 issue are his and has nothing to do with coaching. AA23 still plays the same way he always does when in form.

  17. DaleDaGooner

    Gooby, exactly..people like to mention the failures 9who may not necessary be failures) but forget the quality players that came through…ARSENAL Gave the world Ashley Cole…arguably one of the best left backs out there.

    We took a gamble on Cesc, we took a gamble of Jacky and we took a gamble on Nasri, when we cold have easily gotten Hatem Ben Arfa…(sarcasm) I have high hopes for Wellington Silva and Ryo, there is soemthing in the way they play and there is something culturally special with both.

  18. David

    Agreed Slick,

    I do like Hazard because of his pace, but i think they will be very different players because Hazard can actually pick a ball out.

  19. Jay2oh

    Vermaelen is having surgery.

    Get a centre back in now Wenger, possibly 2 if you can (Which you know you can)

    Loving the win, West Ham looked a shambles.

    Just get me a defense and I will a happy young lad.

  20. Samir

    And 20M for Cahill is a pisstake!
    We should buy Samba as a quick replacement…Then buy a quality CB in the summer…Selling Squill.
    Get Hazard and Suarez in aswell…Sell Arshavin,Bendtner,Vela,Almunia.
    And a 20M bid for Bale would be rather amazing 😀

  21. DaleDaGooner

    I like to delude myself that Ryo is our own CR7, Wellington= Ronaldinho and Hazard = Hybrid Messi\CR7….

    😀 I know but i can dreaming…

  22. Gooby

    i reckon the scum would ask something close to £256 millions for bale as they regard him as the second coming of jesus

  23. DaleDaGooner

    Samir…i refuse to drink the Spud coolaide…they can keep Bale, Hazard will make their monkey extinct 😀

  24. Gooby

    nasri is a legend in the making, still better than all those players dale is mentioning.

    i’d have hazard for arshavin in the summer

  25. DaleDaGooner

    Nasri hasn’t missed a beat since joining us, he is exactly what we thought he was and will still grow mre…where did i get that line “they were exactly what we thought they were” NFL…what team coach? David, quick…

  26. Samir

    That is very true Gooby 😉 And ahhhaaa Dale 🙂 Lets hope so ehhh…How much do you think Hazard would cost in the Summer though?

  27. DaleDaGooner

    Sixx, yep…funny thing is he knows it…if only he can get that sorted…that is where Fabianski beats him, Fab does have a very good distribution and kicking.

  28. Man

    …hate to say this but the spuds are approacing this match with far more conviction and belief than we could muster!!

  29. DaleDaGooner

    Sixx, it’s done and dusted….LOL The marriage is signed, Arsene cannot let another CR7 chance slip away….anyone see the Fergie and Wenger hugging it out and Arsene admitting he is still gutted that CR7 didn’t come to the Arsenal.

  30. sixx pac

    Dale ur right. It was Dennis green from the cardinals.

    I was thinking abt the college coach who said, I’m a man, I’m 40 lol

  31. Samir

    €15/20 million would be decent 😀
    Also…Neven Subotić might be a good option…Another beasty Serbian…Just like Vidic! This guy’s 6ft4 though 😀

  32. DaleDaGooner

    What is twitchies love affair with Crouch? Pav is still a better striker than Crouch….w\oh well what do i care, just need manure to loose a game! Surely asking the scums to d the job is a bit like asking a mentally ill person to be retarded.

  33. Kushagra India

    Dale lolz..
    Manure’s first choice defensive pair is the best in BPL IMO Crouch is the weak link serves no purpose and sums up the English national team..

  34. Gooby

    if shirt pulling was a foul when man united are playing vidic would be sent off in every game and united conceding 2 pens per game. how on earth vidic gets away with so much shirt pulling

  35. Kushagra India

    Bale has done enough I think to merit a goal but for that bean pole

    Arry’s next target should be BENDTNEr…It will be great for both the clubs

  36. David


    I dont need anymore reasons to absolutely hate mildly dislike Bendtner.

    Joining the spuds would be icing on some cake.

    Vidic gets away with murder for sure.

  37. David

    He’s still got his united jersey on, its just that the crowd was shouting at him.

    Shouldve given the spuds a penalty.

  38. Kushagra India

    Now time for Arry to prove its loyalty for spuds and sub Crouch ,smiling as if missing chance after chance is a part of life’s rich tapestry..

  39. Pondera

    Dean just checked his notes so he can see what spuds player is on a yellow ! He’s defo gonna send a spuds player off

  40. David

    Hope Arsene is watching.

    Next time we play these c8nts.

    We need some real shooters outside the box.

    Dear I say get Denilson ready.

  41. DaleDaGooner

    Would you say Anderson is a dirty player or just a hard worker t close down and get the ball back? Either way he annoys me.

  42. DaleDaGooner

    Mike Dan and the Lino pulling their shirts like Vidic does this for the first time…cunts THATS HIS WHOLE GAME! You know this!

  43. Kushagra India

    This says a lot about the BPL when the leading side has parked the bus for the full second half they dont deserve top 4..

  44. DaleDaGooner

    MANURE HAS TO BE the most annoying team this season? They are drawing games they ought to lose and still stay on top with a game in hand….they need to make them play that game…every season they always have a game in hand…how so?

  45. DaleDaGooner

    the Sunderland, WBA, Spuds and Newcastle games are comng back to hunt us…i hate to think if we had just pull our fingers out to win those winnable games, we would just relax and watch these cunts scrap it out for whatever is left….aaargh!

  46. Kreshnik

    Spuds did play the better footy tho, and had some real good chances but VDV should have had a penalty when Vidic pulled his shirt in the area and I think Rafael did not deserve 2 yellows. In any case, points dropped for United. Let’s hope the Chavs can do some more damage and we really need to win convincingly the next 3-4 games.

  47. Mayank

    Shit cunt fuck…
    I hate Utd. Funny to hear the commentator waxing lyrical about Vidic, only for the replay to show that he was tugging at the shirt like always.

  48. Kreshnik

    And ppl saying United are shite don’t convince me, in my eyes they have the best defense (actual defense not overall defending team like City) in the league, they got a very quick dangerous attack and counter and they have a below average but not bad midfield. How are they shite ? Oh, and they got a legend of a goalie.

  49. Kushagra India

    and we can’t afford to lose any I just hope manure go on a chelsea-esque run will take hibernation from footy if manure win BPL I just can’t stand them anymore now..

  50. dar

    i think with retunr of van parsie, chamakh lost his place in the first team, after a good begenning with 10 goals, nothing after that…..
    i think he must return to bordeaux because we miss him and we need him, he can gives us a lot…

  51. deano

    united were a joke….cant believe there in the position there in….rooney is crap….the only good player they had today was vidic….aaarrrhhh I fuckin hate united with a passion