Dan the goat: The low down / A win for negativity! / He’s off to Barca!

by & filed under Uncategorized.

Just before I kick off proceedings, I had an e-mail from Newsnow yesterday regarding a complaint about misleading headline over the weekend. Apparently someone read Sundays headline and thought we really were going to buy two of the most valuable players in the world.

My Grandma who recently wrote a letter of complaint the to the council about the closing of the local haberdashery she doesn’t use has a message for that person…

‘Get a life’

I can guess the type who’d do that but I wouldn’t want to make any accusations about how obvious it is that one of our blog stalkers has been playing dirty. Even if it was shameless hit seeking, our advertising partner is a CHARITY!

Onto something more exciting! Yep… the review of the man they like to call Aliko Dangote (If he does buy our shares, we can cocknify his name to Dan the Goat… conglomeroat sic (he owns one). Has a real Lock Stock feel to it, don’t you think?).

The previously unknown 261st richest man in the world exploded into the mindset of Gooners world-wide over the weekend when it emerged the Nigerian businessman had been identified by Blackstone as a candidate to gobble up Lady Nina’s shares.

So, what do we know about the Nigerian football fanatic?

Well, we know he’s not interested in buying Lady Nina’s shares for £15k a pop. When I heard this was what she was asking for the shares, I said to myself out loud whilst feeding the fish,

‘If he’s an astute business man, surely he’d tell lady Nina where to go with an asking price like that?’

… and sure enough he did.

Still, it’s interesting to know that he is actually an Arsenal fan as well as an enterprising business man. He started off his business after securing a loan from his Uncle in 1977, from there he began trading building materials, he then incorporated 2 companies in 1981 which he eventually rolled into one conglomerate known as the Dangote Group.

This group is like Unilever on speed, they deal in food, packaging, logistics, textiles, iron plus his latest interest… oil and gas.

He is the Golden boy of Nigerian business and he sounds like quite a good guy. He has an active interest in supporting the people. He trains young Nigerians within his business and supports groups that keep the youngsters out of crime… very noble in a country that has many social problems. He is currently employing 12,000 people, expected to rise to 24,000 inside a year.

He is all about keeping his fortune within the Country and developing his nation… This quote was interesting,

“If you give me today $5 billion, I will not invest any abroad, I will invest everything here in Nigeria. Let us put heads together and work.”

If Wenger was a business mogul, he’d say something like this,

“If you give me today $5 billion, I will not invest any abroad, I will also not invest any at home. Lets put our heads together and create some mental strength and some spirit.”

Seems farcical to think that after saying something like that he’d want to invest in the vainest of billionaire play things especially if he’s built a reputation on being a man of the people.

Owning a London football club whilst a chunk of your country sits in poverty might work for Russian Oligarchs, but judging by the noises coming out of Nigeria… probably not there.

In Africa, like many other countries, where there is money, corruption is usually not far away. Like I’ve said before, sticking a cowboy hat on and saying yee haa doesn’t mean you’ve earned your crust without treading on a few peoples toes.

Dangote has faced his fair share of allegations that I believe he has been cleared of. Still, it’s worth reporting on them because no one gave Usmanov the benefit of the doubt despite being retrospectively cleared of a rape charges.

The trouble I’ve found with digging out information on Dangote is that most of the text isn’t in a decent format so it’s hard to tell what is propaganda and what is genuine reporting. Still, if you’re interested in reading about the darker side of Dan the Goat, click here , here and here.

So, little chance of him hoovering up the shares… and probably a good thing really. The last thing we need is another billionaire vying for our beloved club, especially as he, like Kroenke, doesn’t appear to have the cash to run our club any better than we can already. I think he’s worth £1.8billion. That’s Randy Lerner cash… in billionaire terms, he’s making the tea (probably in the literal sense judging by his portfolio).

It looks like Barcelona could be ready to make a move for our second choice right back and first class Joker, Emmanuel Eboue. Yep, he’s looking to secure a move to become Barcelona’s second choice right back. I can see the logic, if you’re going to sit on a bench, best make it a warm one eh?! If he moves, I won’t shed a tear… unless of course it’s a tear of laughter because he gives his exit press conference in that tiger suite. Go on Eboue…  do it, think of your legacy!

Seriously, I’ve appreciated his effort over the last year, but when you’re 26 and still not first choice, it’s time to weigh up your options and think about yourself.

Other snippets include a £14million bid for Gary Cahill which would work nicely for us. A battled hardened defender more interested in clean sheets than sulking on the half way line when things don’t go his way. PHW has also come out to deny there have been any offers for our Spanish Maestro. You’ve got to love Barca haven’t you?

‘Err, how about £30mill becuase we’re a bit strapped?’

How about no?

As the bores are out in force this summer trying to dig out Le Grove and its un-Christian negativity, I thought I’d leave the realists with something to smile about with this quote from James B Duke who is a Professor of Behavioural Economics at Duke University.

‘Depressed people tend to show a smaller optimism bias and a more accurate perception of reality’

So George Graham, Lee Dixon, Martin Keown, Robin Van Persie, Cesc Fabregas, Charlie George, the club level phone operator, Andrey Arshavin, Dennis Bergkamp and Piers Morgan may all be a bit miserable when it comes to the Arsenal… but the harsh reality is, they’re probably going to be right.

We’re in good company Grovers!

I’m off to to listen to my Smiths CD with a very depressed, yet smug look on my face.

A bit like this…

Seriously, it's the best I could do...

Have a great day Grovers!

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810 Responses to “Dan the goat: The low down / A win for negativity! / He’s off to Barca!”

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  1. ethangunner

    i would take bojan from barca ..

    that takes care of dudu .. wenger can just sell him them ….

    40 + bojan … even hleb . too for free 🙂

  2. ethangunner

    nasri will surely take over from cesc , i dont think wenger will use the proceeds on replacing cesc ..

    AA23 – NASRI – ROSICKY
    RVP – CHAMAKH – BOJAN

    could think of worse ..

  3. ethangunner

    you could put on song for narsi if you wanted to shut up shop .. theo – nikb on the bench with jack and vela .
    johan and 1 or 2 who wenger will elevate . Edmonds or what ever the young brit kids called .

    wenger only has to tinker really ..

    especially if cesc goes ..
    he will definitely have cash .

    i actually think wenger will have a crack this season if he uses what he gets this season 20 mil from the board and 50 from cesc ..

    40 with bojan ..

    i think wenger will try and get this young spanish lad , you know he will need a surrogate to get over cesc 🙂

  4. Rohan

    Talking to yourself eh ethan. 😀
    RvP will continue to play centrally and Chamakh will come in from the right much like he did for Bordeaux. There will be a lot of interchanging between the 2 though. If Cesc leaves we HAVE to get in Gourcuff or Van der Vaart.

  5. ethangunner

    rohan

    dont you think nasri will step up ?
    i can see that being right down wengers ally .

    and i think RVP will be crocked too much , and chamakh will make the central role his due to RVPS absence ..

    its happened the last 3 years on the trot , what makes you think RVP will let up 🙂

    ????

  6. ethangunner

    i think your right initally it will start off …

    RVP central AA23 on the left .. chamakh on the right .

    but once the season is in swing and RVP starts knocking on the medical suite door ..

    chamakh will be the main man …

  7. Rohan

    RvP has been unlucky with injuries imo, most of them have been impact injureis. He’s due a good run now.
    As for Nasri, he’ll come good but not in Cesc’s position. We need another man in midfield to complement Nasri with some physicality and I don’t mean Diaby. Gourcuff ticks all the boxes.
    Him, Nasri and Song and midfield is more than decent.
    More importantly where’s our goalkeeper? And a beast of a CB….

  8. Rohan

    If Arshavin was the reason we won the race to 4th place in 08/09, RvP was the reason we were even in that race. I think he’ll relish the challenge of being the captain and being the main man in the team. To use a phrase someone coined earlier: Here’s to the van Persie era.

  9. ethangunner

    whilst all is quiet and i have the time to reflect ..
    id like to say thank you to Olde HILLWOOD ! thanks for giving us 20 mil to spend for once this season …

    but i do seem to remember us getting 26 for ade ? and 14 for toure ? only 12 for TV .. outs ..plus some other youngun’s sold .

    makes it a cool 32+ mil up , so thanks for pocketing 12+ mil or another player effectively we could have had !

  10. Rohan

    van Persie imo when fit can be as good as the likes of Rooney and Drogba. If anything he has more to his game than both of them. There isn’t a single player in the world who comes even close to what he does for us. We’ve even missed his delivery from set-pieces this season. Gourcuff will solve that though.

  11. ethangunner

    Rohan says:
    May 26, 2010 at 06:15

    RvP has been unlucky with injuries imo, most of them have been impact injureis. He’s due a good run now.
    ————————————
    he came back for the last 4/5 games 🙂 on limited time 🙂

    hardly ‘ A – RUN ‘

    but if it helps you sleep better lad 🙂

  12. ethangunner

    rohan

    he definitely has some real potential should he remain fit a season or 2 !

    in fact all these injuries might have prolonged his career ..

    career of injuries .. he could play up to his 50’s 🙂

  13. ethangunner

    rohan ,

    however i think he is as bent as a banana 🙂

    i remember reading somewhere there is at least 10 gay top class players in the EPL !

    i think RVP is one .. not sure who the other 9 are ?

    rooney 🙂 ?
    cashley 🙂 ?
    john terry 🙂 .. ok maybe not terry he only does MILF ..

    🙂

  14. ethangunner

    rohan

    i tell ya if wenger is smart he can get a few good players from them .. i think he would be mad to not
    ‘try it on ‘

    and from above i think geoff isnt that far off the map!

    if i was wenger my 1st bid would be cesc for messi 🙂
    plus 10 mil for us 🙂

    let them know its not going to be a cake walk !

    its all mind games ,
    and wenger is good at that .

  15. ethangunner

    i dunno rohan , RVP with that run .. arms flailing ..

    think ive said it before , but he reminds me of mr Humphrey’s in are you being served 🙂

  16. ethangunner

    hey TH14 could return also ..

    heard he’s looking to return back to the EPL !…

    would wenger over look him ?

  17. ethangunner

    “I don’t think it matters who plays because with big clubs they are all great players. Our own performance is what is important,” said Wenger.

    “Bojan is very mobile, very tricky, very short and with very quick feet. That makes him different and special. He is completely the opposite of Zlatan Ibrahimovic, who is more big size, Bojan’s strength is more his mobility.

    “They are two world class players so we have to defend well as a team. In a big club, if one big player is out, there is a big player coming in.”

  18. ethangunner

    that was prior to the barca. game …

    but i remembered how he talked about bojan …

    i would NOT be surprised if he is wearing an arsenal shirt next season

  19. Rohan

    I don’t know..Bojan is another midget and would get bullied in the prem. Also, if he does come good , he will fuck off to Spain in 5 years. Fuck that, get the Germans, French, Dutch and even the Italians in.

  20. bnsb

    Morning Rohan, eg

    Wenger said the same about Modric, and yes he was dud in the first few months too. But boy, has he improved?

    I like Bojan, more like Arshavin, oozes creativity 😉

  21. Rohan

    nasri at his worst is about the same as Modric at his best. I may be biased. I don’t rate Modric AT ALL.

  22. bnsb

    Rohan

    I am not comparing chalk and cheese. Not that only “thugs play well” in EPL. Modric is the “playmaker” or “engine” around whom Spuds have played well.

  23. bnsb

    ..btw Modric = Cheese, Nasri = chalk. I know you luv Nasri, As Geoff says often, I dont hate our players, no way, just dont rate him 🙂

  24. Rohan

    Fair enough bnsb, just think eventually Nasri will turn out to be a legend. That much talent cannot go to waste. This seasons was a case of second seasonitis.

  25. Rohan

    Song Song Song Billabong for President!!!

    FFS..just noticed Steve Nash of the Phoenix Suns is a fucking spud. FML.

  26. Rohan

    Denilson will make it a club like Atletico in Spain. I highly doubt he will do the same in England. I’d love to be proved wrong.

  27. dennisdamenace

    Let me add my tuppence worth to the earlier Ade/Bentner debate.

    I have it on absolute authority that Ade is as thick as shit, talented, but as thick as shit, the coaches had all given up on him in terms of things like the offside law etc. And, that AW himself was desperate that Bentner would step up and allow him to drop Ade, but at every opportunity Bentner never took his chance.

    This info was from the same person who told me in March last year that AW had told Ade’s agent to find him another club.

    Now it took the sale of Ade and the injury to RvP to allow Bentner the chance to play more often, not Bentner’s ability, but the fact he was next in line! Love him or hate him Ade was a talented goalscorer, Bentner is at best a third choice player, for a club of our so called standing to be in a position where a player of Bentner’s level is first choice is shocking, and even more so when the boss chooses against strengthening the forward line because he has Bentner, that alone cost us the chance of winning the easiest league we have been in for over five seasons, no wonder Fabregas wants out of this Primark club….

  28. chris

    ddm good point,

    this cesc thing is annoying me, the way his father is speaking its as if cesc is a hostage on his multi million contract/sponsorships,

    ive made my mind if he wants out then fuck off, we won fuck all with ya, thanks for nothing.

    morning all

  29. bnsb

    Chris, genius:

    ive made my mind if he wants out then fuck off, we won fuck all with ya, thanks for nothing.

    Will win *uck all without ya! MAY BE WE WILL, who knows. I will be laughing my ass out when that happens 🙄

  30. gnarleygeorge9

    ARSENAL: A CLUB THAT USED TO HAVE AMBITION
    No wonder Cesc Fabregas wants to leave if this is Arsenal’s three-years-overdue response to their biggest problem:

    ‘Arsene Wenger is ready to turn to Fulham veteran Mark Schwarzer to solve his goalkeeper crisis.’

    No disrespect to Schwarzer, because he’s a decent keeper. But he’s 37. And not exactly renowned for being top class, let alone world class. Moreover, according to The Daily Mirror, ‘Arsenal have also looked at AZ Alkmaar’s Sergio Romero and Shakhtar Donetsk keeper Andriy Pyatov but Wenger would rather stick with his current crop of keepers than pay over the odds for a new first choice.’

    Yup. They’re still trying to do it on the cheap. Or the free.

    These are Goal 365 comments not mine.

  31. dennisdamenace

    gnarleygeorge9 says:
    May 26, 2010 at 08:03
    ARSENAL: A CLUB THAT USED TO HAVE AMBITION
    No wonder Cesc Fabregas wants to leave if this is Arsenal’s three-years-overdue response to their biggest problem:

    ‘Arsene Wenger is ready to turn to Fulham veteran Mark Schwarzer to solve his goalkeeper crisis.’

    No disrespect to Schwarzer, because he’s a decent keeper. But he’s 37. And not exactly renowned for being top class, let alone world class. Moreover, according to The Daily Mirror, ‘Arsenal have also looked at AZ Alkmaar’s Sergio Romero and Shakhtar Donetsk keeper Andriy Pyatov but Wenger would rather stick with his current crop of keepers than pay over the odds for a new first choice.’

    Yup. They’re still trying to do it on the cheap. Or the free.

    Don’t these thick cunts geddit, this is the very reason our club captain wants to fuck off, Jesus H Fucking Christ, it beggars belief………

  32. ethangunner

    Schwarzer is still better than what we have , a little disappointing if its true GG ..

    dissapointing because he still thinks fab2 will cut it and we have to ruin more seasons to find out HE WONT !

    not for another 3 or 4 more years if he plays every game !

    send him out on a 2 year loan wenger .

  33. ethangunner

    a goal keeper, like a striker only develops quickly into a world class player if they are playing every week for 90 minutes …

    probably the only difference between hart and fab 2 is games under the belt and the confidence associated to playing a season uninterrupted ..

    POSSIBLY …

    we will never know as wenger has more faith in big Al and thats terrifying ..

  34. ethangunner

    FAB and FAB2 …

    names are similar only difference is one was given 4 years to progress , playing every week ..

    i think fab 2 would need the same time span .

    and thats just not acceptable if we have to wait for our long term goal keeper to BECOME world class ..

    how long does something like that take when you dont ever play the cunt for more than 2 games on the trot ?

    loan or sell him wenger .. your talkin bollocks !

  35. MickyDidIt89

    Morning all,
    Found myself staring at an advert for a car yesterday, while taking a slash in a motorway stop. It was called a VENGA. Now this car looked shiny and solid. Then I noticed it was made by someone called Kia. This rang a bell. I once had to pick up a hire car, which I was told would be a Ford Focus. This was ok, they are good cars. Kia’s car, on the other hand, “looked “ like one of Mr Ford’s cars, but I soon began to notice things. Closing the door did not make that reassuring “clunk” sound of something solid and heavy. It made that “clink” sound, which is the noise of tin. Kia had cunningly disguised the fabric of his car by covering the tin with thick gooey stuff called paint.
    A “VENGA”: looks ok from the outside, but beneath its cheap and not up to the job!
    That’ll be my little parable for the day. Here ends the lesson.

  36. gnarleygeorge9

    DDM

    Its a worry. Its, yes I’m going to say it, Groundhog Day, again. Or to be precise, Groundhog Offseason 😉

  37. ethangunner

    see theres a flaw in that ..

    if it was really a wenger , opps VENGA it would be on

    AUTO – GAS 🙂

  38. ethangunner

    gnarleygeorge9 says:
    May 26, 2010 at 08:54

    I really, really miss winning trophys 🙁
    ———————————–
    no your missing the point , all our board members are doing REALLY well !

  39. gnarleygeorge9

    & ethan, share speculation has them @ 15,000 pounds each. Why do The Board need trophys 🙁

  40. timao

    i don’t see the point in slagging off wenger’s supposed transfer targets when you only read about them in the loony english football press – let’s at least wait until the window opens! and meanwhile by the way, chamakh looks like a decent player, no?