Arsene has identified a problem with defence this season says Ivan, defence, really?

by & filed under Uncategorized.

No sh*t Sherlock, a problem with defence eh? Even a blind man using a rats arse as a wedding ring could see that, we on here have been saying it since we started Le Grove. Amazing, we have had jerk after AKB jerk on asking us if we know more than Arsene or are we scouts, well if it’s taken this many transfer windows to identify we concede too many goals, and defence is the problem, then yes to both questions.

I find it staggering that Ivan and Arsene announce it like they have just discovered the meaning of life, never a bigger statement of the obvious have I ever heard, we need to address the defensive issue! So what do we do first? Oh yeah, we sign a striker.

Not that I’m against a striker as we do have a forward line of crocks and it will be at least 6 months until Benik Afobe and Luke Freeman are ready, but the real issues we have at Arsenal are at centre back and more pressing at goal keeping, but if the manager thinks that Fabianski played well against Fulham, then I fear he hasn’t seen the real issue with our goal conceding problem. The crap keepers.

Also we need a defensive midfielder that can defend, has pace and will be as immense as Patrick was in his day. We need at least one winger, remember them Arsene, let me jog your memory, Overmars, Pires, Freddie and Reyes, now they were the last proper wingers we had and when we had them, we won things, coincidence, you work it out. And please no SWP on the cheap, he’s too old and not even good enough for England.


Theo is not a winger and nor is Vela, Arshavin or Bendtner, address these issues Ivan and maybe we’ll start to see some success, buying Silvestre did nothing but cost us money, keeping Senderos did nothing but lose us points, stop doing everything on the cheap and go out and buy some decent players.

I also keep hearing from Gazidas that Wenger will re-sign, I don’t care about that Ivan, I’m more concerned that we compete for four trophies next season and buy in some talent, I don’t care if Wenger signs or not, we did Ok before he arrived and we’ll do Ok when he’s gone, there are plenty of decent managers out there, plenty.

It’s funny, the very first Le Grove post was the day that Wenger signed a new contract and we were all delighted, how sad that his intransigence and obsession has led us to this, I’m fed up with being so negative but how many windows come and go with disappointment, I’m just fed up with it, and all we get from Arsenal is how clever they are with our debt, buying players doesn’t make you go tits up Ivan, buying players for silly money does though, as does paying average players crazy wages, and we have more than enough of them.

If we aren’t going to compete for 4 trophies next season, either buy us the squad we need to, or give me a rebate on my season tickets, I’m not that bothered about the Champions league, we’ll never win it anyway, let’s go for a domestic cup and with our best players, if you haven’t got enough of them, then go and buy some.

Oh and for those of you who said Cameron was a toff and Clegg was a working class boy, Clegg went to Cambridge and Cameron went to Oxford, so in theory we have an educated line up, a bit like the Arsenal eh! Who ever you wanted to win the election, at least it’s over and we can get back to speculating about the players we are about to buy.

Have a nice day Grovers, Pedro is back for the next few days and no doubt he’ll be more cheerful than me.

P.S. Check out our textual chat at GoonerSonline here and drop a comment!

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965 Responses to “Arsene has identified a problem with defence this season says Ivan, defence, really?”

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  1. Pat

    Theo passionate? Oh dear.

    Passion is RVP, Cesc, Sol, Verm, Clichy, even Gallas at times(though I think his is just show for the tv)

  2. CedarBayDave

    Not saying English aren’t passionate. Sol is probably the most on the squad. Just the blanket statement and including Theo under the umbrella made me laugh a bit.

    I just think it is an individual thing, not based on where someone was born. (the manager and style of play can make an impact that we are lacking to make an entire team mentality one of passion too)

  3. paul mc daid

    STU,you were getting a rough ride over with AKBs last night,their nuts over there,i give up on that site,or shite,if you like, along time ago.

  4. Stu

    Theo isnt passionate. Im sorry if you feel otherwise but you are just wrong on this. Ever see theo show anger, or any big of aggression that shows he wants to fight for something. The kid has no passion. He is a nice boy…thats it.

  5. Stu

    Yeah i was, wasnt I paul. And i think unfairly too. I was being polite and giving genuine reasons for my arguments. They just didnt want to hear anything negative.

  6. David

    What is this theo Slagg-off day?

    Walcott shows bucket loads off passion…particularly when he scores.

  7. CedarBayDave

    Zeus, I am actually a supporter of Theo as well. I just think he needs more time. His football IQ is not where it needs to be yet. At this point he can still make a big impact if we have our A Team on the pitch.

  8. zeus

    HEHEHE. To use an English term, I’m just trying to take the piss out of you lot.

    I’m just sick and tired of talking about the same thing day in and day out. Just thought I would go against my normal point of view to see how it feels.

    The site is getting a little boring with the same posts over and over again. Other top blogs find innovative ways to keep the reader interested though the comments forum stay the same comments wise.

    I hope that Pedro and Geoff actually bring in some guest writers/comedians/poets/satirist or something just to spice things up and give them a chance to take a break and recharge batteries.

  9. Stu

    Has it been that long Incesc? Time flies when you’re having fun.

    David, i disagree with that. The vast majority of the time when Theo scored he has a nice smile on his face and slides on his knees. Not Cesc show passion when e scores. Remember his goal against united at the Grove in the 2-2.

    I dont blame Theo as such for his calm attitude. When most of our players score its more a feeling of pleasure than orgasmic joy.

  10. zeus


    I don’t really see it happening for Theo. He needs a 442 to flourish and with this lot we will stay 433. He should be more central and much closer to goal where lots of thinking is not needed.

  11. Stu

    Theo isnt really good enough for us to change for the formation for him. Wide right in a 4-3-3 is the best place for him anyway imo.

  12. Pedro

    Stu, he’s Michael Owen without the finishing.

    I don’t understand why people think he’ll be any better in the middle than he is out wide.

  13. David

    Thats cuz you’ve got selective memory Stu.

    When Theo scores is usually because we are down or we have scored about 5 or 6 goals already…take his goal at the Semifinal of the fa cup for instance…

  14. Stu

    Pedro, its probably that people think he’s so shit on the wing he cant possibly be any worse in the middle.

  15. Pedro

    David, in a 4-3-3?

    No chance! He can’t turn a player, he doesn’t have height and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him score a header?

    He can’t even hold the ball up!

    He’d do well in a 4-4-2 with Bendtner…

  16. David

    Thats cuz Walcotts First touch is better, Finishing is better and he sure as shite makes more runs behind the defense…something a striker should know how to do.

  17. Stu

    Add to it that Theo is actually a winger then he looks even worse. (and he is a winger because he has played there his whole career apart from a few games for southampton).

  18. David

    In a 4-3-3, 4-4-2, whatever.

    I expect Walcott to bag in at least 10 goals next season with just as many assists if he is fully fit.

  19. Pedro

    His first touch is better? Not sure how you’d gauge that… it’s not often he picks the ball up in a tight position… it’s normally over the top and he has so much pace, he doesn’t need a good touch.

    Facts are, he’s been hugely disappointing this year.

    The fans are on his back, not Bendtner’s.

  20. Stu

    Pedro, thats not saying much. Everyone would do better in the middle with Bendtner because his quality rubs off on them. VP, Theo, Eduardo have all said its a joy to play with Bendtner (i may be exaggerating somewhat).

  21. David

    How is he a shite Winger when he’s just about created a goal or assist since he’s been back from injury?

  22. paul mc daid

    STU,you were being more than polite and respectful,but there is simply no talking too them,its impossible to have a real conversation with them,its there way or the highway,they are blinded by the light,its a pity as they are passionate gooners but are so naive,i have tried but failed over there,was gonna jump in for you but i knew it would only make it worse for you,dont lose any sleep over them,anyway your knowledge and pride is well respected by myself and others over here.

  23. Pedro

    He’s not shite… he’s just not hit the heights I’d expect from a player who made the world cup squad at 17…

    He doesn’t deliver for me… he goes missing… has very little footballing brain.

    Still… if it can come good for Lennon, it can come good for Theo.

    So I’ll keep my fingers crossed.

  24. Stu

    Well thats a massive exaggeration right there. Theo has started 11 this calender year and has 2 goals. And 9 as sub, 1 assist 1 goal.

  25. Stu

    LOL Pat! 1 player comes through from the academy and suddenly he thinks he can do an Arsenal. And isnt Ollson a foreigner…and pretty shit too.

  26. David

    Wow Stu

    Thats because 11 games out of the 50 we play he’s supposed to walk on water and turn water into wine.

    Theo just about had 2 assists on Sunday

  27. Pedro

    In his last 5 games he got one goal and one assist?

    It doesn’t look much better as you go back… David, shame on you.

    Cedar Bay, Theo is just massively middle class… and very well mannered.

    Unlike the scuz bucket they call Rooney at United… whose just a thug.

  28. David

    Yep says so true enough.

    But even a blind man with a rats arse for a watch knows that those were created by Theo and Theo alone.

  29. Stu

    Well really Theo got no assists on Sunday. The og cross took 2 deflections before Baird shit himself and hit it into his own net.

    And he would have had a simple assist if his pass to VP was half decent. As it was VP had to stall and wait for the ball and ended up missing. Just like when he nearly fucked up our goal at the Nou Camp.

    And its not 11 from 50. You said since he came back from injury. I dont know when exactly that is so i took all the clubs games since the start of January. Which is 22. So theo has played in 20 out of 22 and has contributed to a grand total of 4 goals.

  30. Pedro

    David, I can’t believe you’re making things up to back your argument?

    Can I add the assists Bendtner made when he won a penalty at Stoke?

  31. Stu

    I think that would be fair Pedro. Whats winning a penalty if not setting up a goalscoring opportunity for a teammate? (unless you take it yourself.

  32. Pedro

    Stu, a goal or assist every game apparently…

    How long do we keep saying he’s just back from injury btw?

    Will we be saying it in September? I’m pretty sure Nik had an injury as well… you never factor that into your Bendtner rants David?

  33. David

    Come now that makes no sense.

    Winning a penalty has fuck all to do with open play…

    Anybody can take a penalty and score…

    Theo created an own goal and put a square ball that RVP shouldve scored the first time and eventually scored.


  34. David

    Is that a fair statement?

    So every time Eboue dives in the box he’s looking to pull up his assist stats…

    Thats rubbish.

    Just because the stats dont say so it doesnt mean you dont have eyes to see Theo did well to create both goals.

    Yeah Eboue’s magical backheel ‘defection’ while he wasnt even looking created that goal for sure…uhun.


  35. Stu

    13starts 5 sub/ 9 goals 5 assists.

    Thats Bendtners record this season after returning from his injury. 14 in 18. Thats pretty fucking brilliant considering we played Man U, chelsea, Villa, Liverpool and Barca twice in that run of games…plus a few other good teams.

  36. David


    I wonder what Bendtner’s stats are like playing RW.

    As if the expectations from Theo and Bendy are the same.

  37. Pedro

    David, winning a penalty has everything to do with open play… I’m pretty sure you can’t win a penalty outside of open play?

    Nik flicked it at a Stoke players hand…

    Stu, didn’t Nik win a header that bobbled about a bit and Cesc stuck it in?

    Didn’t count as an assist, but he won it?

  38. Pedro

    2 less goals than Ade… but two more assists.

    Plus, he played in a team that finished 3rd… Ade failed to fire City to 4th.

  39. Stu

    Well David. Since you cant shoot from the wing legs compare their shots.

    Theo: 44 shots 16 on target 4 goals. 11 shots, 4 on target to score.

    Bendtner: 69 shots 29 on target 12 goals. about 6 shots, about 2.5 on target to score.

    Now which is better?

  40. Pedro

    Gnarley… all good thanks.

    I thought it was just a walk… didn’t realise I’d be going up mountains.

    I’d prefer to drink beer for Charity!

  41. Stu

    Pedro, i think its fair o say these stats im throwing up are solid proof of Bendtner being superior to Theo in every way. Bad mouthing Bendtner should be forbidden.

  42. Pedro

    David, Theo did his best to fuck up the pass to Nik at the Nou Camp… luckily, Nik’s super craftsmanship turned the ball into the net.

    We led for a few minutes… those minutes were gold… thanks to Super, Super Nik.

  43. choy

    How come you missed the game pedro?

    Aha Nikki B Vs Theo…

    They are both young and under too much pressure. I think both are going to be fantastic players in due time.

  44. Pedro

    Stu, I agree.

    So would 55000 gooners at the Emirates.

    Nik has a way to go… but he’s on course to be a very good player for us.

    Theo… well, juries out…

  45. David

    WoW Stu Amazing Stats!

    Bendter had 69 shots!?

    Incredible…69 tap-ins and the mug only scored 12 times.

    How shite is that?

  46. Pedro

    Choy, it took 8 hours to drive back from the Peak District.

    I went for after game Peroni’s though.

  47. Stu

    Lets try Arshavin:

    103 shots, 38 on target, 11 goals. about 10 shots, about 3 on target to score.

    Bendtner has better stats than Arshavin. Better in front of goal.

    Point being Bendtner is doing very well. Its hard to criticise him after the season he’s had.

  48. David


    I am not saying Bendy didnt do well…he did fantastic and i was screaming my head of with a tear in my eye when he scored…but face facts…Theo created that goal…just as Bendy created the goal that Theo scored?

    Its like saying Bendy passed the ball too far but thank fuck for the greatness of Walcotts speed to catch up to it.

  49. Stu

    And all 3 have played more or less the same amount of games.

    But thats it. No more of Bendtner vs Theo because it happens every few days and never gets us anywhere. Basically…Bendtner is king!

  50. choy

    Ah ok.

    One player that needs playing time is Vela.

    That boy is class. He needs to play regularly though.

    He can take players on, he can cross, scores sublime goals. He needs playing time.

  51. Stu

    Damn it! One last one.

    Bendtners pass at the Grove was perfectly weighted. Im sure Bendter knew of Theos pace and played the pass to suit Theo.

    As for Theos pass at the Nou camp. There was just the 2 of them 20 yards out with Milito sprinting back. Theo played the pass AT Bendtner rather that in front of him (a basic rule in football that everyone knows) and Theo nearly fucked it up.


  52. Pedro

    David, you’re missing the point.

    You’re quite willing to slate Bendtner for scoring against crap teams, scoring tap ins, having a shite touch…etc etc…

    However, when it comes to Theo, you’re giving him assists and making up stats.

    For me… if you think Theo is going to become an amazing player… fantastic. I don’t share that faith, but I’d be over the moon to be wrong… I want all Arsenal players to become amazing.

    I just think you’ve got a bit of a vendetta against Nik which is apparent by your vehement defence of Theo.

  53. incesc

    sometimes walcott gets it bang on and sometimes he doesnt.

    he’s young, more match practice he gets and the more experience the better he will get.

    at least he has some pace.

  54. David

    Fuck that rubbish.

    That’s like me saying Walcott did his best to throw Alves and Puyol with a confusing pass and if he made it any more simpler for Bendtner he would have cocked it up.

    So thank fuck the pass was shite and Bendtner had an easier tap in to score…not even he could fuck it up

  55. Stu

    Choy, i agree that Vela needs more playing time but this season when he has featured (as little as he has) in the league/CL he either hasnt had enough time to do anything or hasnt done anything with the time given.

    He needs to play in more than just the CC next season. More sub appearances and for longer as well as more starts against the shite teams when Arshavin could do with a rest.

  56. David


    I will own up to my dislike of Nikk because he’s amazingly shite infront of goal for the last 2-3 years.

    Nikk has played almost the same amount of games that theo has despite theo being here a full season before him that tells you that the critism against theo is abit over the top.

    Im not saying he’s an amazing player or will be amazing..surely i hope so…but the constant “Theo is shite” slagging off is a bit much for me.

    For me Theo is improving…and will continue to improve we are certainly a different team when he’s on the pitch.

    And if someone scores an own goal because of theo and it cant be credited as an assist because its not an Arsenal player then that isnt making up stats that just callin what i see.

  57. Stu

    Night Pedro…

    David, i dont get what you mean by that. What did i say that made you say “That’s like me saying Walcott did his best to………”

  58. SFOGooner

    on the same day wenger wants to improve defence ..

    song wants to add goals to his game ..

    haha .. nobody at arsenal want to defend ..?

  59. Jaguar

    David mate,if thats your opinion about Bendtner,what would you say about Diabolical,the most useless player who ever wore a red and white shirt.

  60. David

    Youre crediting Bendy’s assist to theo as “perfectly weighted” saying he knew about theo’s pace.

    Thats bollocks.

    Theo still had a bit of work to do to get to it much the same way bendy had a bit of work to get to theo’s pass

    You can interpret what you see anti-theo or anti-bendy.

  61. Stu

    “amazingly shite in front of goal for the last 2-3 years”. I think my stats disproved that (at least of this season)

    6 shots, 2.5 shots on target per goal is pretty damn good for someone you consider to be shit in front of goal.

    I mean Drogba has about 5 shots, 2 on target per goal.

    Rooney has 234 shots, 80 on target for 36 goals.
    Havent got a calculator but thats about 7 shots, little over 2 on target per goal and i think everyone will agree that most of his goals have been tap ins. No goals outside the box apparently this season. Does that mean rooney is shit too?

  62. Stu

    Ok fair enough i went over the top with “perfectly weighted” but it was a very good pass to Theo.

    Especially when you consider that by the time Theos pass to Bendtner at the Nou camp had reached him Valdez had alreadt smothered the shot. It was a poor pass from Theo, even you cant deny it.

  63. Jaguar

    Denilson is a square peg in the retard Wenker’s obsessions.Diaby is completely shit.Most useless player who has ever played for Arsenal. Even Cygan had better games than this useless wanker.

  64. David

    Laughable how your comparing shots taken by rooney and drogba to shots taken by Bendtner.

    Maybe we need to see chalkboard for that one and see the selection of shots Bendy takes.

    I will be shocked if they were any where further than the goal line.

  65. Stu

    But thats it David. I have no stats as to where Bendtner has been shooting from but they havent all been tap ins much like Rooney.

    From what i can remember off the top of my head Bendtners tap ins have been PortoX2, Burnley and……im blamking after that.

  66. Jaguar

    Diaby was good(compared to other shittier players) against teams like Burnley,Portsmouth at home,and was pants against better teams.Retard is the most over rated Arsenal player

  67. Stu

    You mean the better teams like Barca Jaguar? Because im sure he was the only player in te last 2 years to look out of his depth against arguably one of the best football teams ever seen.

  68. David

    CMon Stu

    Hull city —- Tap in

    Stoke City —- Empty net tap in

    Sunderland — Tap in.

    The only goal he’s scored that wasnt a tap in was the Blackburn fluke that made it 6-1

  69. Jaguar

    Denilson would be good rather better than Diabolical anyday as a CM against shit third division teams in the CC.Again,thats it,CC home matches.

  70. David

    I dont remember was Bendtners goal against Spurs a tap in?

    I dont remember but i have a pretty good guess

  71. Stu

    Just checked. His goal away to Liege was a very good finish so dont know why you think it was a tap in.

  72. David


    I was continuing the sentence

    “The only goal heโ€™s scored that wasnt a tap in was the Blackburn fluke that made it 6-1….and the Standar Leige goal”

  73. Stu

    Bendtner vs Hull. The winner from the denilson long range shot was not a tap in. FOr it to be a tap in he would have had to only tap the ball and there have to be no keeper opposing him. Myhill was in the middle of goal and Bendtner was holding off a defender.

    You really need to look up the definition of a tap in.

  74. David


    So you rate Denilson over Diaby?

    Fuck me…at least Diaby is pretty prolific infront of goal.

    IF Denilson hadnt shocked the whole planet (including Arsene) about the fact that he can take free kicks and shoot from long distance…id swap him for a mars bar.

    NOw im inclined to bump that to a dish washer.

  75. Pat

    Rooney hasn’t scored a single goal outside the box this season and he takes uNited’s penalties as well. Drogba and RVP both piss all over him if you ask me, and Drogba doesn’t take penalties for Chelsea(besides the Wigan game).

    And only 5-6 of Rooney’s goals came against the top 10, including penalties.

  76. Stu

    Bendtner only played Stoke once this season and it was the 3-1 win when Rambo got his leg broken. Bendtners header was easily headed goal of the season. I find it unfathomable that you would try to take away from that goal.

  77. David


    If a rebound shot that comes straight to your feet is not a tap in goal then i admit i dont know what a tap in is.

    We are a shite team crossing the ball so its no wonder that we were fucked when we crossed the ball for 98 minutes at Wolves till we finally put one in.

    Im not saying he hasnt done well…he has…but lets not gloat about Calling him a “king”

    For tapins.

    69 tap-ins?

    69 – blackburn – standard leige – penalty – 4-5 headers,

    Thats about 60 tap in misses.


  78. Stu

    In fairness i only go somewhat over the top in praising him when you and other people go over the top in criticising him.

    Me calling him a King was to balance out you calling him shite. ying yang

    And on that note, im off. Til next time David, Pat and Jaguar…

  79. Jaguar

    Stu mate,Diaby was pants against Barca,Chelsea,United and FFS Spuds. Wanker was the main reason why we lost against Wigan as well.

  80. Jaguar

    Not that I rate Denilson over Diabolical,David.Both are shit.Diaby is more overrated and the cunt among these two.Fucking retard is just a waste of space.

  81. gnarleygeorge9

    William Gallas is on the way out of Arsenal after he shocked the club with ยฃ80,000-a-week wage demands in a 2 year deal.

    See ya Billy Boy ๐Ÿ™‚

  82. ethangunner

    There ez no needz to buyโ€ฆ
    Dzourou will feel like zee new signing
    more like he will play like one ๐Ÿ™‚

    AGAIN !

  83. AA23

    big hockey game here tonight.
    The montreal goalkeeper has kept them in the stanley cup.
    hes single handedly kept montreal in it against washington (chelsea) and he’s doing the business against pittsburgh (man u).
    who says a decent goalie wont get you points?
    his name is Halak.
    …he’s just won them another game.
    please let Buffon rumours be true.
    or sign this hockey cunt
    just do something

  84. AA23

    hockey is for fags though
    I do have to be clear on that.
    just saying what a decent keeper can do for a team.

  85. Cannon Man

    Diaby, Denilson and Theo are all sub standard. Diaby’s had a few good games against poor opposition, Bendtners actually performed relatively well under circumstances and Theo has pace and nothing else. These guys will NEVER be starting eleven. None of them understand the game to a good enough level and I say that relative to their ages. Bendtner’s the best in his position of the three but none of them are players I’d like to be in the position of having to depend on when the going gets tough. No fire in their bellies whatsoever.

  86. AA23

    Just been reading back
    Still trying to batter Bendtner?
    He’ll be one of the stars of the world cup.
    Top player
    Absolutely top player.

  87. David

    Hockey has similarities to Soccer…except the constant fighting and the smashing of faces into the wall/stick/ice…and just the other day someone’s skates slit another guys throat…blood everywhere…it was great…the fans loved it.

  88. AA23

    just trying to put the shite game of hockey into some context
    washington are the best team in the league so chelsea
    and pittsburgh are the stanley cup holders so man u.
    hockey is for queers.
    you red wing mentioning fag

  89. David

    Pittsbourg beat the Red Wings for the Stanley Cup…

    Washington have never really won it as much as the other two so no….

    I think youre the only one who thinks Hockey is for queers. Where im from people will laugh you off the planet.

  90. AA23

    I’m from England,the best country on this Earth, what dopey fuckers would even attempt to laugh me off of the planet my people saved from tyranny?
    Where you from?

  91. gnarleygeorge9

    There are not many sports invented by the USA that I like. Actually there are none.

    They have football, which seems to be played by a whole lot of fat boys covered with padding, plus a bloke that can throw & a bloke that can kick. They stop for 10 minutes for some bloke in a Hawthorn top to explain what went on in a “play” that took 10 seconds, then go to an add for 5 minutes. & they have the audacity to call it a super bowl.

  92. David

    gnarley tbf i dont like football either…but for different reasons…

    I much prefer basketball or baseball

  93. AA23

    you English?
    or American?
    If English where from?
    If American Where from?
    I’m English, from Streatham in south London but I live in Montreal for now.

  94. AA23

    I lived in Malta before this which is how I know Jaguars old woman.
    she used to “work” for me
    wink wink

  95. ethangunner


    classic explanation of the yanks national past time .
    35 fat black rappers and 1 white boy who can throw

    nice ๐Ÿ™‚

  96. David

    hahahahaha…in my truck yes! ๐Ÿ˜€

    Joking..i dont believe in fire arms.

    The first Arsenal game I watched was in 93… went to a friends house…didnt know shite…but I saw this amazing goal Ian Wright Scored against Utd…against the run of play.

    Been hooked since then.

    What about you AA23?

  97. ethangunner

    trust the yanks to invent a sport where the more morbidly obese you are the more successful you are ๐Ÿ™‚