Theo has written an autobiography…

by & filed under Uncategorized.

Morning all!

Apologies for the post delay, I wrote one, then clicked back this morning and it was gone! A bit like Gordon Brown’s Labour seats! Sorry, that was a low blow, I just had a lot of fun this morning chuckling to myself about Jacqui Smith losing her seat. Possibly the most vulgar woman in Government. Well played to the people of Redditch!

Onto football, I don’t have much news on the transfer front. There are strong rumours about the move of hot-shot Edin Dzeko. I like the look of him and he seems like a Wenger type signing, however, with the arrival of Chamakh imminent it’s hard to see where an older version of Bendtner would fit into the squad… especially at £35million!

I spend a lot of time in the car for work and yesterday I had the pleasure of catching a 20minute Talk Sport interview with our very own Theo Walcott.

Basically he’s written some kids books in the build up to the world cup. Great idea I thought to myself. Very creative for a person of the football persuasion. The interview went on and more information was divulged.

The book is about a kid called TJ, Theo’s nickname as a kid. TJ is an aspiring footballer. TJ comes out of goal in his first match and scores a hattrick in his first ever game of football. TJ shares the same friends as Theo when he was a kid. TJ goes onto play for England in an important game and wins it for his country.

Hold on? Has Theo written an autobiography here?! The interview went on and Mike Parry joked they could he could take the story to the big screen, Theo thought about the question and said he’d definitely look into the possibility! Hilarious stuff, you have to love how up themselves footballers are!

What was interesting was Theo’s take on the season. He reckoned it disappointing and the age thing couldn’t be taken into consideration anymore as it was a tired excuse. You could tell he was itching to say we need recruits but he stopped short of saying that!

For me, Theo is in the wrong team. He should be playing for a club like Villa. I don’t think he has the same natural skill that our previous greats had. Maybe he could develop his game in a similar fashion to Freddie Ljungberg? Well timed runs and bundles of goals? I’m not sure… all I know is he needs to knock it up another gear next year or it’ll be time to start looking for a new club.

Sunday is the last game of the season, a traditional p*ss up outside the Arsenal Tavern is in the offing and you are all more than welcome to join us! The Arsenal Tavern is on the Blackstock road or out the station, turn left and follow the road to the end and it’ll be in front of you!

Come down, enjoy the sun, drink Peroni!

Have a great weekend!

404 Responses to “Theo has written an autobiography…”

Jump to comment form ↓

  1. Duke

    I thought I’d amuse myself and just draw a big cock on my poll card.

    More fool me though, turns out they interpret it as a vote for Brown.

  2. gambon

    Theo has written a new book;

    Its about a kid called TJ who gets his dream move to a London club at the age of 16, doesnt improve at all, and is found to be way out of his depth.

    The book costs £12m, so like TJ, may be a waste of money.

  3. bnsb


    In 2008–09, López was everpresent, helping Villarreal finish fifth in the league, as he did not miss one minute of action.

    So we are buying him to help us finish ……

  4. Duke

    Sometimes I wonder whether it was such a good idea to make the election accessible to first time voters.

    My little sister just told me that she voted for Cameron because her favourite film is Avatar.

  5. Mark C

    Franchise – Joe Cole would be great – he could replace Rosicky in our squad.

    Wenger is saying we will get experienced players and he would fall into that bracket.

  6. John A

    A&N – probably cos of all the shouting he’s done at our bunch of overpaid prima donas. YEAH RIGHT !

  7. Duke

    Nick Clegg just told Cameron to call him and that the Tories has the right to try and form the government first.

  8. Martin Hayes Never Missed

    Did anyone see the prizes for last nights charity ball at Arsenal? You could win free kick training with cesc… Set piece defending with sol Campbell was won by a mr m silvestre, of France who bid the highest with 20,000 francs!

  9. Martin Hayes Never Missed

    Wengers got a hang over from last nights party…. Shouting down the phone over the sound of the music!! Perhaps he got drunk and woke up with his wallet empty and contracts for Buffon, villa and melo!

  10. Pedro


    Joe Cole to Spurs?

    Good player, shame his injury record is so poor!

    Any transfer gossip coming our way?

  11. Darrenchallis

    Big Dave

    Every dog has its day, even Everton have been there. If the role were reversed last year I couln’t have seen te spud even getting past Celtic.

  12. Richaldo

    Dedicating a post to one player that writes a book in his spare time?


    Back to politics for Richaldo

  13. Meneurdejeu10


    Good mornin mate. Joe Cole is looking for a six figure weekly salary. He should have re-signed with West Ham and the Icelandic guy.

    Chamakh, Diakhate and a GK (if Arsene comes to his senses).

    That is all we are doing. These three will make a combined weekly salary less than that of Silvestre, Gallas and Almunia.


  14. Man

    Barcelona have lost four times in all competitions and may finish empty-handed; Atlético Madrid have lost 22 times and may win a cup double. Fifty-five games, 52 wins, nine draws, and four defeats. All that and it comes to this.

  15. woody

    Sorry but iv’e woke up with the HUMP-I see Theo has wrote a book,perhaps he should write another one on “how to play football”and he should buy the forst copy.

  16. bnsb

    “Thank you to the fans because I believe for long periods of the season they were behind the team like never before. They deserve a big thank you,” the Gunners boss said.

    “We gave everything this year and we will do that again in the last game of the season – despite some disappointments they have always supported the team very well.”

    There are sheep and then black sheep 😆

  17. leon

    i realy dont understand wenger reluctance to make major in roads in the tranfer market he has the funds and in my view just adding 2-3 to the sqaud is not enough however bringing 6-7 players at the same time is never good idea,i think wenger was looking add 3 players on the asumtion all players are staying but its clear merida silvest gallas which i dont think will make huge dent anyway i have never seen gallas as commanding defender as for merida good player but nothing specail,this team alot very good creative players however very few compative i hope wenger rectise that in my view wenger will be looking replace silvest and gallas and in addition add 2-3 players which i hope is keeper and midfielder its pretty clear wenger will looking experienced players only,bottom line the past is the past time to look to future and few experience players and a keeper could just the tonic

  18. Man

    …certainly a mistake somewhere either 65 games or 42 wins, still doesn’t detract from the main point though

  19. Gunners The Stunners

    I remember many spuds have been taunting us since they won the Carling Cup back in 2008 saying that winning trophies is everything not finishing in the top 4 and playing Champions League football every season. If that’s true then why were all the spud players celebrating like they won the CL on wednesday night after beating Man City???

  20. gambon

    I wouldnt worry about us signing Diakhate, he is useless.

    Oh wait, sounds like an AW centre back.

  21. Rohan

    apparently Wenger has said we will go for experienced top top class players. 😀
    Does Chamakh count as one of them? I’m going for Hazard, Chamakh, Hart and a beast of a CB compared to whom Sol looks like a litte pussycat.

  22. Pedro

    I’ve got to do an 18 mile charity walk for my company this weekend, what a shitter.

    Anyone know anything about that new United striker?

  23. Gunners The Stunners

    Wenger ‘confident’ of Chamakh deal:

    It appears Marouane Chamakh will be Arsenal’s first recruit of the summer, as Arsene Wenger has spoken of his confidence that a deal will be wrapped up for the Bordeaux man.

    Chamakh confirmed this week that a deal with Arsenal was on the verge of being sealed and it would appear the finished touches are being put to what is expected to be a free transfer for the 26-year-old.

    “It is not officially done, but we are confident on the boy,” Wenger told the club’s official website. “When all is clear we will come out and announce it.”

    Chamakh will add to Arsenal’s attacking options, but Wenger has issues to resolve at the back with William Gallas, Mikael Silvestre and Sol Campbell all out of contract.

    The Gunners have been linked with a move for Fulham powerhouse Brede Hangeland, but Wenger has played down the prospect of a deal for the Norwegian.

    “I find he is a good player, but we were never in for him,” Wenger said.

  24. Rohan

    Who the Mexican? He seems OK, I saw him in a world cup qualifier game for Mexico last that game, Vela looked the better player though..dunno what has happened to Carlos..sad really..I’d give him one more season to prove himself.

  25. charybdis1966

    I actually like Jacqui Smith, for purely non political reasons. She flashed her cleavage at a load of ayatollahs at some overseas meeting, and anyone who does that to wind up some mad mullahs is tops in my book.

  26. Mark C

    We could need to buy 2 CB’s this summer if Sol, Gallas and Silvestre dont stay.

    If he says we are going for experienced players then Jones from Blackburn is out, so probably is Kjaer from Palermo.

    Hangerland is experienced, you could agrue Cahill is as well.

    Buffon is experienced
    Not sure which big midfielder we should go for that is experienced.

    Hazard and Hart are not really experienced.

  27. Stu

    We need an assured defender at the back. One who can organise the players around him, be calm when defending and that has experience at the top level. And obviously they need to be consistent.

    Whether or not we can afford, find or are willing to pay much for that kind of player is up to Wenger.

  28. Geoff

    Morning all, I’ve been summoned to David Cameron’s gaff to help form a government in exchange for distributing the £100 mil notes at the Grove on Sunday, what the fuck can I say.

    I said only if you cut benefits and give tax cuts to people like me, hard working and loaded.

  29. KM

    Afternoon all

    haven’t been on here much because like most of you, i’m a bit disillusioned by Arsenal at present. However i’v been looking at the blog from the last 2 days and have found some new players of interest.

    Ruiz (Fc Twente) Striker
    Capoute (Tolouse) DM

    I include Ruiz because i’v read some glowing reports abt him and hear he’s very clinical. If I had it my way I would sell Eduardo & maybe Bendtner. Imo Eduardo cant offer us anything now, he needs a fresh start elsewhere.

    Bendtner is a marmite…he misses so many sitters it irks me bigtime…he’s one of those who is a slow developer but he’d be a good 4th choice striker. If he stays as 4th choice striker imo we should send Vela on loan somewhere…..maybe to West Ham in part exchange for Scott Parker. If we can’t Scott Parker then send Vela upto Bolton to link up with Wilshere. That way Vela will learn how to play like a man.

    Scott Parker would be a good addition from the premier league because he’s experienced and will show Diaby & Denilson how its done. Ideally i would like us to get a top class DM, Gokhan Inler is a name which is doing the rounds, however the young DM Capoute(?) from Tolouse would be a good addition IF we cannot get a top class DM/Parker.

  30. Dutchman

    Diakhete is also a DM, so??? Maybe cahill and diakhete,chamakh and hart?? It will be 30 million.
    Not that bad!!




    Good team!

  31. RayGooner

    Looking through my “Stats” again and came up with this:

    Wenger’s Record of games…

    At The Emirates Stadium:
    113 79 27 7 246-76 264

    At Old Trafford (against Man United):
    18 4 4 10 10-25 16

    At Anfield (against Liverpool):
    18 5 4 9 28-41 19

    At Stamford Bridge (against Chelsea):
    17 6 7 4 24-21 25

    At White Hart Lane (against Tottenham):
    16 3 10 3 25-26 19

    At Villa Park (against Aston Villa):
    14 5 7 2 18-13 22

    At City of Manchester Stadium (against Man City):
    11 7 0 4 22-16 21

    At Goodison Park (against Everton):
    15 8 3 4 26-13 27

    In Spain (against Spanish Teams):
    12 2 3 7 10-19 9

    In Italy (against Italian Teams):
    8 3 3 2 11-5 12

    In Germany (against German Teams):
    8 2 1 5 12-16 7

    In France (against French Teams):
    5 3 2 0 8-5 11

    In Holland (against Dutch Teams):
    7 3 3 1 10-4 12

    Against Lower Division Teams (both Home & Away):
    35 26 8 1 86-23 86
    (the only defeat was last season when we lost against Burnley away in the League Cup 0-2)

    So the worst places to play is in Spain, in Germany, at Old Trafford & at Anfield….no surprise there really…

  32. Galviniho

    Lib Dem vote down the swanny again!! a joke.

    I still feel the Gooners should bring Tony Adams in their, we need some encouragement on the bench someone to urge players on, look them in the eye in the dressing room and tell them “TJ you twat, move from your marker and get the ball, move on the pitch man” “Abou stop walking and start running you twat”.

    Some of these players need a kick up the arse and some of them need to be kicked out. Wenger needs to act we cannot have Spurs overtaking us, this is a joke. We need more Vermelean signings and that is a fact.

    Also we need to build the team around the likes of Wilshere, Rambo, Gibbs and Thomas. These guys can step and will at least show more passion than the likes of Traore and Vela. They are a joke.

  33. Dutchman

    From wikipedia
    “kiev is in negotations with arsenal FC for a fee around 10m”. That rumour sounds very treu!
    Wenger said two weeks ago
    “I’am speaking to playerS!!So chamakh and diakhete??
    Guys, diakhete will come to arsenal! But we don’t know if he comes for the DM or for CB! But we don’t know if he is good in CB position, so don’t argument about him because you haven’t seen him play!!

  34. RayGooner

    and also regarding the last game against Fulham…

    We’ve met them 8 times at home and won 6, drawn 2…

    In both the draws the score was 0-0

    So in conclusion, if we score against them at home we always win….

    But at this stage, i’m happy if we don’t lose…

  35. Stu

    I dont want Diakhate at all. He’s so shit that Kiev sent him on loan to St Etienne.

    Dutchman, anyone can chance what it says on Wikipedia so dont believe anything you read on there.

  36. Galviniho

    Stu indeed he was at St Etienne for crying out loud. We should play safe and get in Cahill and also add Bartley in the mix.

  37. charliegeorge


    Thought you’d been summoned on charges of defrauding the state for passing off dodgy bank notes …

    Bugger government, why not work on dethroning PHW?

    Then we can get ourselves a proper board, proper manager, and proper players.


    Vote for Geoff.

  38. mike__

    dutchman anyone can put a entry on wikipedia so i would take anything from there with a very large pinch of salt.

    also tony adams isnt the same tony adams who played for arsenal i am not sure shouting on the touchline is in his make up anymore. as much as i love him he has turned into a guy who takes 10 minutes to answer a simple yes or no question….its kind of strange.
    still he is a legend for ever.
    also wenger wouldnt allow him to shout either…..all pat rice ever shouts is ‘go to the ball’ over and over.

  39. Galviniho

    Fair dos Stu but I think Bartley is ready for some chances come the cups next year. Lets face it we cannot rely on Djourou. I hear Chuks Aneke is a giant in the youth team, oe to watch.

    Arsenal need spinal players and some strong ones in Goal, Defence and Midfield.

  40. charliegeorge


    The rear-view mirror approach is not what we need right now, despite your excellent stats.

    We need a REVOLUTION!

    Vote for Geoff!

  41. Galviniho

    Mike, Dixon is right we need Keown, Bould or Adams in there and add Bergkamp. We need people who the players can relate to and listen. If you can’t listen to Bergkamp just get out of Arsenal.

  42. Ooby

    Below has probably already been posted but i’m too lazy to check…

    Premier League – Wenger: We need superstars
    Eurosport – Fri, 07 May 09:51:00 2010

    Buzz Up!
    Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger is looking for experienced superstars to turn his also-rans into Premier League contenders.

    The Gunners boss will have up to £35 million to spend this summer after the club finished paying off the construction loan for the Emirates Stadium.

    And while Wenger paid tribute to his young squad for making a decent run at winning the league, he admitted that a few more old heads would have been of benefit as his side ran out of steam in the title race.

    “If we bring some players in then they have to be experienced,” said the Frenchman.

    “I think we have been in the race this year with the team we had. We will be stronger next year just with the internal improvement and with the experience these players will have.

    “The additions will be minimal but if there are some they have to be really top class.”


  43. Duke

    You know what pisses me off? That if it was just an England vote then the Tories would win the majority, but Scotland and Wales fucked everyone with this hung parliament.

  44. chippy

    Apparently ive just heard Arsenal are in talks with a Certain G,Brown some scottish player by all accounts,
    My mate Dave reckons he will fit right in as he a gutless spineless cunt that carnt lead either 🙂

  45. RayGooner

    My favorite hockey team is Björklöven(i’m swedish).

    They were champions in 1987, was playing in the highest division until 2001, and now they’ve gone bankrubt, just a few wekks ago…

    They’re the ones that need a REVOLUTION!!!

  46. leon

    at this point in time its almost certain gallas is moving on and both silvest and senderos are on there way so i think wenger will want to replace silvest and gallas plus make additions 2-3 for me i think there huge question mark offer the future of vela he will either go out on loan or be soled with edwardo thoe aa chamakh rvp plus bretna all are ahead of him and i hate say it he realy be missed,with edawrdo its different he has had at least 2- injuries this season groin surgery and foot problems there is no dought he will going further down the pecking order and most likely next season will determin his future at the club. in addition to cbs i think wenger will in market for an experienced midfielder and a top keeper

  47. mike__


    what we need and what wenger would allow i think are two different things. i firmly believe keown is the answer and he would make such a huge difference to the way the team is capable of defending and handling the pressure if at anytime it gets to a backs to the wall type situation.
    but in order for him or any other coach to be able to do that they would need time with the defence & team for set pieces & watching videos etc. and that would mean time out of wengers schedule of training and even though what keown would be coaching is to do with when we DONT have the ball i think he ouwld probaly see it as a conflict to his idea of how football should be played, so sadly i doubt he owuld be open to the idea.

  48. useroz

    Folks, the one thing that pisses me (and i suppose many) off is that, barring few exceptions, wenger appears trying to scrap the bottom of barrels when signing new players…

    Has Arsenal sunk so low? Don’t we deserve just a few top (note not ‘super star’) players who are recognized specialists in what they do? Why do we need to get some who might play here, here and there so our manager can play his moulding skills…as it has not seem to work??

    If that’s what this manager wants (and i sure hope that not the MO of this club, officially), why bother moving away from Highbury… i reckon if we didn’t move, we probably still doing no worse than what we had got in the past 5 years… People argue moving is all about positioning for the future and that’s perfectly fine but what’s the timeframe? Or have we seen any signs of that UPWARD trend? Or have we evidence of some promising young guns who would make it (eg wilshere) in the short term to justify NOT buying experience from the market?

    It’s got to a point that the sentiment is poor i dare say around what the club’s philosophy manifested through its action or inaction rather in managing our business ON THE FOOTBALL PITCH. It’s time to have a clear the air discussion but it seems there’s no channel to 99.9% of fans/ supporters… If the board say this is a properly run business, there will almost be forums for its ‘customers’ to communicate. What we have is NOT good enough, Arsenal! I reckon the situation has to be ‘fixed’ from the top, rather than just hoping for 2, 3, 4 or whatever number of signings… that might work (or not).

  49. Galviniho

    Mike I agree, but they should recognise Steve Bould’s work and promote him. He has been consist with the youth team.

    I love Pat Rice but we need a Ferguson shake up. Arsenal fans would not be too concerned if Wenger showed he wanted to amend things. That is it.

  50. mike__

    also i feel i may be a minority here but i dont see why after a good solid few months of 1st team football at sheff utd why bartley cant squad wise be on the same level as djourou?

    i have always been a fan of djourou but i dont get why bartley seems so low down on the pecking order.

  51. Jaguar

    Now,we are after some fucking unknown playing in a Sunday league?Why is Wenker obsessed with these shit players.Fucking retard.

  52. Jaguar

    Yes,Charlie.Sorry state of affairs.We wont win anything,until we kick out that senile hypocrite.

  53. RayGooner


    i’m just so upset about this season regarding sports…

    After seeing Arsenal run out of steam at the end of this season the hockey bankrubt thing was just the icing on the cake for me…

  54. mike__

    why is it that eastmond and watt are considered part of the ‘cup’ teams but if they dont play or get selected for the 1st team squad they play for the reserves. but carlos vela who also pretty much only plays in the cup or end of season games doesnt get put in the reserves when he isnt selected?

    surely that is bad for him and giving him a run out to try and get some match sharpness would be more of a benifit to him and the team when he is selected to play.

  55. charliegeorge


    Sad to hear that. You know it’s been a barren 5 years. I could handle the disappointment, but not the bombastic incantations of a deluded senile old man.

    That’s 5 years of my life that I’m never gonna get back.


    I’m serious. We need a coup d’etat. We need a leader who doesn’t play fast and loose with the truth.


  56. gooner4life1986

    Players i want to see come in;

    DM as back up for song
    Cahill- I really like this player, i think he would be great for us
    Sakho-Never seen him just like the sound of him

    OUT- Fish head,Gallas(prefer for him to stay)heaps of players on loan

    Keep the rest, Depth will win us at least 2 Cups next season i reckon. Id be extremely happy if this is our squad next year;

    New Keeper,Almunia, Schney, (send vito and fab out on loan or sell)




    As you can see we dont really need to add that many. And people please tell me if you wouldnt be happy turning out to sing for these boys!

  57. ArsenalKenya





  58. charliegeorge


    Let’s get Geoff in. We need a true visionary, not spin-doctoring snake-oil salesmen.

    Fuck PHW off – that pratt’s wallet hasn’t been seen since 1566.

  59. A

    mike – regarding bartley he wasn’t that solid, and was in and out of the team. He’s nowhere near JD level yet (who i don’t really rate) but he’s way younger, and not close to squad level yet. JD was a regular on loan in the prem and did very well, Nordveit is also closer to the first team than Bartley. If Bartley can get a season long loan next season at a Championship club and play regularly then he’ll be much better off for it.

    Eastmond and Watt were promoted youth players, who didn’t train with the first team squad regularly. Watt is nowhere near the first team, and not comparable with Vela, and Eastmond only broke through into the first team squad recently. Players who are first team squad members train with the first team, so don’t play games with the reserve team, except in special circumstances.

    Vela’s not playing this season was down to international duties, and injuries way more than anything else, there were hardly any reserve games he would’ve been available for anyways! Hopefully next season he’ll actually have a pre season with the club, and stay fit, or stay fit and go on loan to a prem club.

  60. Tariq

    Stu, it’s the under 18’s Academy League. We just beat United 5-3 on penalties in the semis. So Arsenal has to play either Leicester or Nottingham Forrest.

  61. A

    U18s Stu, because the leagues are localised, the winners of the leagues play in semi final then final for the winner. We won it last year, and beat Utd in the semi earlier today on pens. Notts Forest or Leicester in the final on Tues apparently.

  62. Stu

    And A.
    I was thinking it was a cup final but realised we got knocked out of the youth cup ages ago so was just wondering.

  63. Stu

    Eastmond broke into the first team without having gone on loan?

    Why is he so far ahead of the other youths that he went from shite rightback to first teamer in 1 summer?

  64. A

    Yeah its a weird one isn’t it stu. I reckon he could go on loan next season though. Its largely down to desperation and injuries, but is weird that he got ahead of Coquelin, though I guess that was down to the physical advantage of eastmond, and one hell of a developmental comeback!

    i wrote him off totally!

  65. Stu

    Yeah i remember you writing him off too.. funny how things have changed.

    Honestly though, whatever the reason for him making it to the first team he has done well. He hasnt looked lost against decent teams..i think he will be kept on next season…unless we buy another DM of course.

  66. Martin Hayes Never Missed

    Nope stu.. All Swedish films and tv I have seen are turd! Except the films at 1am on canal plus ;0)

  67. choy

    Mark Worrall advises fellow Londoners not to be alarmed tonight about the new ash cloud above our beautiful city which is showing up on satellite images … apparently its been caused by 1000’s of Sp*rs fans blowing the dust off their passports.

  68. A

    Yeah it’s crazy stu,

    The only people from that team who i wrote off were Eastmond and Cruise! Has developed amazingly though.

    Yeah i wonder if he will be kept on, though it would be good for him to play games.

    Next season there are a hell of a lot of players to go on loan who i reckon could make it with us.

    Would be happy for Lansbury to be kept around, and eastmond, though would be good for them to play regularly

  69. Drifter

    arsene wenger is god. I love himm. I want to have gay sex with him. I want to take his sausage and put it down my throat hole. Hmmm. I love him so much

  70. Martin Hayes Never Missed

    I live in Sweden and read about it a while back. Might have a watch then if you think it’s good.

  71. Martin Hayes Never Missed

    Thanks drifter. Anything constructive to bring to the table then or is that your peak?

  72. Stu

    Dont take my word for it though MHNM, i wouldnt want to mislead you.

    That it was late when i watched it and it had subtitles might have affected my judgement.

  73. Arse&Nose

    Cameron the Chameleon twisting the facts again.

    You had your chance and you fucked up, the people don’t trust you so fuck off back to your daddies mansion!