CL brings comedy to Milan / Beckham’s had it / Tonight the laugh will be on Porto.

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So I started to watch the mancs play the easiest knockout game in the ECL, but had to laugh when I saw the snippet that said this, it was talking about granny shagger Rooney and the snippet said this makes 50th CL APP tonight, which read as ‘CLAPP’ which I thought was apt, given his antics, if only manc loving Sky realised their gaff, I sure as hell did, well done Sky Sports, hilarious!

I hope Fabio was watching because the Italian press said Beckham was like a waxwork dummy, and last night proved if we take him to South Africa, we must be nuts.

Onto us and the big game tonight, Fabianski is in goal, which isn’t great, but it’s better than having to endure another gaff strewn evening from Almunia, Fab, prove you are worthy and put in a great performance, I think Gallas is out too so that means powerhouse Campbell steps in, no problems there, I also think Song is out so the boss has to decide on Eastmond, Denilson or maybe a 4 man midfield instead, here’s what I would do.


Eboue Campbell Vermaelen Clichy

Rosicky Cesc Diaby Nasri

Walcott Bendtner

I think that team would score goals and protect our goal at the same time, 4-4-2 would be a good move considering the problems, and we wouldn’t have to put in youngster Eastmond or rubbish Brazilian Denilson.

We can attack at will, with pace and height and defend from the middle, so we won’t be exposing ourselves as we do with a 4-3-3, I wouldn’t be unhappy to use Ramsey either but not Denilson, anyone other than him. I would even suffer Eboue in the midfield rather than Denilson, at least he has pace and can defend.

We need to get in their faces and shut the crowd up early, this is our last real chance of any silverware, and a good result would give us the confidence to go all the way, and don’t forget, we have Robin to come back in April.

Kyle Bartley is getting rave reviews in Sheffield, is he the one to step up next season? I don’t know, trying to buy Smalling doesn’t suggest he will, but we also have Djourou and Nordveit or whatever his name is.

Porto are about as good as Villa, dangerous in spells but not that good, we shouldn’t underestimate them in the same way we wouldn’t underestimate Villa, but we are by far the greatest team the world has ever seen. I know we are, because we all sang that against Liverpool and won, so it must be true.

Don’t forget Arsenal, Porto were a team managed by a chav scumbag, we owe them, and two wins in a week against a chav connected side would be absolutely brilliant.

So go and get a famous win tonight boys, a draw will do, but a win would all but seal it, they call their centre forward the Hulk, why? Is it because he let someone die in a car accident? Is it because he got exposed to radiation whilst conducting experiments? NO, it’s because he’s crap at football and bats for the other side, just like that one trick pony the Hulk, from DC fame.

Screw them Arsenal, show us why we love you so much, prove to your manager you are all worth what we pay you, and why the club won’t buy players, this is no dress rehearsal, this is it, tonight you play in the most important game of you careers, I know you can do it, the manager knows you can do it, tonight is up to you.

I don’t do predictions, but Carling do and they told me 2 nil to the team that plays in red…honest!

Finally Pedro sent me a list of Europe’s top earners, we have only Arshavin in the top 50, so I can see why all the Cesc rumours are being bandied about, maybe if we stopped paying so much for the ordinary fringe players, we would have the money to give him more. We have players like Jay Simpson who seem to be on permanent loan whilst we keep players like Denilson in the squad, we have players like Randall, Hoyte and Gilbert that seem to hang around for ever but never play so why? I think we should have a long hard look at our massive squad of averageness and whittle it down to a group of top players, I bet we’d even get change if we did that.

Hey and all this talk of we couldn’t afford David Villa’s wages, he earns the same as what Cashley and the 50 year old Vieira does. Hmmm!

Have a great night Grovers, win or lose, have a booze, tonight I feel it in my bones, we’ll be doing both. Winning and boozing!

Finally, a big fat P.S. from Le Exchange. We have loads of buyers, no sellers! If you have spares, don’t let them go to waste. Use our free exchange service and Let Le Grove put you in touch with someone who’ll buy them off you. E-mail address is in the side bar —>

1,522 Responses to “CL brings comedy to Milan / Beckham’s had it / Tonight the laugh will be on Porto.”

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  1. gnarleygeorge9

    If Arsene Wenger can close ranks with the squad, including shutting it with respect to press statements, The Arsenal can progress well into this CL Cup competition. Why not! A type of seige mentallity. SAF did it when he banned Sky, & they have flown since.

  2. charybdis1966

    I won’t be around much on Friday so I thought I’d get my gag in early, Gnarley.

    Getting my pre-match nerves started earlier than normal thanks to all this talk of Denislno playing, aarrrrgggghhhh!

  3. Sam

    Man city have no brains.

    Ade and toure in the top 20, they are above rooney,drogba and more unbelievably torres in the list and also our own Cesc.

    ffs, bridge is paid more than any arsenal player.

  4. charybdis1966

    You’re bang on there A Tom – when/if the Chavs/Manks do it of course they’ll forget about us already doing it, it won’t count as far as they are concerned.
    As I said before, facking cnuts, to a man(or ape in Richard Keys case.)

  5. gnarleygeorge9

    The trouble is, & I don’t want to unnerve some of you, but Le Gaffer is crazy enough to start Fish face instead of Sol 😉

  6. gnarleygeorge9

    On a more positive note, I’d really love to see a Mozart brace, including one of his trade mark thunder bolts. I think we all agree, the away fans deserve something like that.

  7. lc

    Always wrong team selection; I wonder why you complain about AW’s tactic!

    My team to beat Porto tonight:


    Sagna- Campbell- Vermaelen- Clichy.

    Fabregas- Song.

    Eboue- Diaby- Bentner.

    Walcott. 4-2-3-1.

    Porto 1-2 Arsenal. Song will play.

  8. Gunners The Stunners

    Exactly Chary,

    I remembered when we won at San Siro, Sky Sports pundits didn’t praise us for beating one of the European Giants with such a yound team. Instead, they were talking about how it was to do with Milan’s ageing players than the brilliance of Arsenal team.

    But last night, they all were rambling about how ManU have finished the business at San Siro and how Beckham’s era is over and Rooney’s started. I don’t even think that Rooney meant to head the ball towards the goal. I think he tried to head it back to his own player(s) in 6 yards area and the ball eventually ended up in the back of the net. Also, his second goal was easily stoppable, the keeper didn’t even try to stop it…

  9. Abnet

    My team will be
    Back four with Sol
    Cesc Diaby
    Rosicky Bendy Nasri
    I know you will probably say Denlshit in your team but he is the only recognized DM we got

  10. charybdis1966

    And GtS, those same “ageing”players 2 years ago haven’t suddenly got younger and become tougher opposition to beat last night have they? But, oh, I forgot –they are perpetually in Mank adoration mode where all logic and objectivity goes out of the window.
    Facking cnuts.

  11. gambon


    You could be the blog king of the world! The UKs answer to Perez Hilton, although less of a cunt!…

    …slightly 🙂

  12. Jaguar

    Le Senile/Hypocrite is irreplaceable.Would be hard to find a human being who would match the crazy instincts of Le Liar.

  13. Jaguar

    I love Diaby more than I hate Wenger or vice-versa,Gooby 🙂

    Pedro,if we dont win anything this season,you would feel that I was being more rational than obsessed.

  14. Pedro

    Jaguar, I’d still say you were obsessed.

    We’re 6 points off the lead with a great run in, we’ve got a fairly good chance of progressing in the champions league… and you’re slagging Wenger off like we’re out of all competitions and 8th.

    I think you need some perspective.

    Things could be better… but equally they could be 10 times worse.

  15. Jaguar

    We would have been top of the league,if Le Senile decided to spend some of the money,which would go into his wallet as bonus,in Jan.Its negligence or giving no respect to fans. And we are third,not on our merit.

  16. Geoff

    We may be 6 points off the league but if Wenger had not be such a greedy self obsessed prick of huge proportions we could be 10 points clear.

    Let me explain, he said today that Seaman made mistakes at 22/23, that’s what young players do.

    We know Arsene, that’s why George didn’t sign him until he was much older, and that’s why you should have signed a world class keeper, not a baby.

    Then he said that Campbell will provide much needed experience tonight, we know that too, so if it’s much needed, why didn’t he sign some more.

    For me Wenger talks bollocks more and more these days, but then why should he care, he gets richer not spending, and we continue to win fuck all, sorry but I’m with Jaguar.

  17. kevin

    I can’t take this rooney propaganda anymore, it’s relentless. He is world class, i accpet that. But he isn’t even the best player in the league for his posistion.

  18. Pedro

    Just stuck on there Inside. It’ll be a ramble about other teams when I get the chance to watch them, or a Geoff rant about something else if he fancies it.

    Jaguar, I can appreciate you thoughts on him… but calling him Wenker and the senile one everytime seems a bit pointless.

    We all know where that got you with Diaby…

  19. kevin

    Gooby agreed, RVP is better than rooney, but as you said he is always injured, which is a shame. Torres is comprehensively better than ronney. Torres is the epitamy of the line ” one man attack”. He is a 1 man counter attack, superb finisher, and when the chips are down he stands tall, like RVP.

    We all no the drog is better than rooney aswell. And I also think cesc is a better player, but will not win pfa player of the year, unless we somehow win the league.

  20. Gooby

    on the other hand it is normal that english players are praised and protected in a WC year.

    gerrard should be banned for cheating every 2 games if not

  21. Jaguar

    I see where you are coming from Pedro.But Wenger deserves every bit of abuse,which he is getting from the fans.He cant use the club as a platform to implement his crazy obsessions.

  22. incesc

    rooney is in awesome form at the moment and being fit and playing is better than an injured rvp.

    love rooney the footballer at arsenal

  23. Mayank

    There was a great Southpark episode with Britney Spears, if anyone’s seen it that’s what the media does to English players.

    I see you’ve started a new blog Pedro, you sure you want the same bunch of people there as well? Nonetheless I’ll keep an eye out for it, nothing too political I hope.

  24. insidealbania

    Mayank I’ve seen it and you are right, then again it is only to sell their papers, and if people dont read it then maybe they will change.

  25. Mayank

    I think part of the problem lies with people accepting these things as marketing gimmicks and fair game (not talking about sports alone). Thing is journalists are like doctors they have control over people’s lives without the responsibilities. A solution would be to not allow irresponsible news outlets to refer to what they’re showing as news and make them call it entertainment. It would be a bit totalitarian though.

    A&N spot on about Southpark!

  26. Pedro

    Mayank, the other blog is just a place to write about other things non-Arsenal related. I won’t be plugging it through the site. I’ll have a place to write about web stuff, a bit of politics and other football teams.

  27. Pedro

    Jaguar, you could just make your point and leave it at that? You don’t have to constantly remind us how mad Wenger is… especially before a game.

  28. SUGA3

    I know mate – I was really angry going into the Chav game in the ‘dead man walking’ mode, but I am going into games expecting a win: that is what being a fan is all abut 😉

  29. insidealbania

    The players know that the CL is what thy have put their focus on all season. They Will take their opportunity, and they Will come back home with an away goal. A score draw is not a bad result, but I think we will win.

  30. jayrhitman

    gonna get taken apart tonight 2-0. Porto , throw in a couple of clichy mistakes, a big strong Hulk and denilson centre mid, it looks grim. Just hope we dont concede too many so the games not gone when we get back to emirates.

  31. charybdis1966

    Yes Gazzap, but if he’d tipped us to win it’d be seen as more propaganda wouldn’t it?
    Dammed if you do and dammed if you don’t.

  32. GaryC

    According to, Eduardo is likely to miss the visit of Sunderland and Billy Boy the trip to Stoke as well. It mentions a problem with Mr. G’s calf. I thought it was a back problem

  33. Franchise

    I dont Chary. I just like to moan after losses 😀

    i never said we would loose against the chavs and mancunts (i bet i made ur day with the manc insults) but deep down inside i knew we wer going to loose

  34. charybdis1966

    True Fran – I think it’ll be a score draw though – although the first few minutes will probably show us which Arsenal have turned up – the hungry one or the “can’t be bothered” one.

  35. gambon

    Im tipping Chelsea to win the league so i dont have a problem with Arsh doing it.

    He brings a bit of realism to the club. Its been Arsenes dreamworld for too long!

  36. Franchise

    chary Porto are hard to beat at the Dragao and this Arsenal side is not the sort of team that I would back to get all 3 points at da Dragao

  37. Mayank

    Disagree Gambon, no player in a top3 team should say that and neither did he. It’s not about being objective it’s about having the kind of winners attitude we all moan that our players don’t have.

  38. charybdis1966

    I thought they’d sold 2 of their best players last summer Fran(Lopez and some other pork ‘n cheeser I can’t remember the name of)and are not the same team that beat us 2-0 last time round, and that was 2-0 against a lot of stand in players(certainly not our first choice XI), as the group had been won by then. I haven’t tipped them to win this either BTW.

  39. Arsenal Tom

    song is the priority when it comes to injuries.

    sol should be able to deal with stoke and sunderland, but i dont fancy denilson being chucked in there

  40. jayrhitman

    Charydbis1966 columbian striker Falcao plays for porto he shit hot, also the have good techincal players and the Hulkster. On paper there team tonight more than matches ours, also they have come into a good run of form. Our form is shit and inconsistent and coincides with denilson playing which he will start tonight.

  41. charybdis1966

    J R Hitman – Falcao may be shit hot but only in the pork ‘n cheezer league, I doubt the standard there is much better than the jocko’s league (pub team level) so I’m not too alarmed at that.
    However the prospect of Wobble heads number 15 in our team sheet is not a happy thought. I’d go for a mid-field of Nasri, Cesc, Diaby & Rosicky with Bendy & Theo up top.

  42. charybdis1966

    Ps – and the Hulk hasn’t played much due to his 3 month domestic ban, so his form won’t be all that.
    I saw him live at our place last season and he was not so much shit hot as (just) shit.

  43. charybdis1966

    A Tom – he’ll be ok, Hulk won’t be standing up and singing Arsenal songs so the stewards will leave him well alone.

  44. Gooby

    it is sad. Not being able to sing and swear at home.

    That’s the main reason behind the grove turning into a library.
    Stupid policy

  45. kirby


    I don’t remember seeing any goals like this lately…

    I miss this team a real cutting edge.

  46. Micky Did It 89

    I’m sure he will go 4-5-1. He has played AA central on his own, so why not Theo. I know he can’t do the hold-the-ball-up-shit, but don’t aim the ball AT him. Aim it over the top, or through the gaps. His speed would be more of a threat in a 4-5-1 than Bendy holding it up. As I have said, I am not Theo’s biggest fan, but lets see wht he can do central. Cesc, Nasri and Ros can all supply the ammo. Diaby can do the darting run and header if needed.

    Back 5
    Ros Cesc Den Diaby Nas

  47. Micky Did It 89

    For all you young firm buttocked young dudes, good news, I am out of the running for Florence from the Machine. Not my sort after all.

  48. charybdis1966

    Yes, that looks worth a shot Micky, but I’d still like Bendy in your line up to make it 4-4-2 with Den****n dropped.

  49. Micky Did It 89

    Charybdis: there is life out there. What shall we talk about. Sir Alex, or Arabs perhaps. Agree with you on that, it is simply that I am convinced he will go 4-5-1.

  50. charybdis1966

    Oh yeah, the old alcoholic Jocko or the camel shaggers ! Do you think there is no hope at all for Den***on being rightly left on the subs bench today? I’d only trust him to play against the likes of Wigan or Pompey.

  51. Micky Did It 89

    Don’t know enough about Porto, but I suppose the thinking may be that European football is, on the whole, less physical, and therefore he can do a job.

  52. Micky Did It 89

    My team would be:
    Eboue Sol Verm Clichy
    Ros Cesc Diaby Nas
    Theo Bendy
    BUT, as I said, I simply cant see him going 4-4-2
    Hence the Den in, Bendy out.

  53. Micky Did It 89

    GaryC; true story. Back in the punk days,a chick went in for a caesarian, and had died green upstairs and down, with the words “keep off the lawn” tattooed just above!

  54. charybdis1966

    Micky, that’s my preferred line up too, excepyt I’ve been flirting with the idea of Traore instead of Clichy, However I’m told Clichy is slowly getting his form back so I’m ambivalent about the left back spot.

  55. charybdis1966

    Dam shame about Gibbs, Micky. I was there at the game whne he had his foot broken, it was right at the end of the game and I recall thinking: he’s taking ages to get off the pitch.

  56. Ja_Gunner

    My team…..


    We have Theo, Vela, Eddy, Nasri as options off the bench….

    I play Eboue because he has pace and tracks back.

  57. Micky Did It 89

    Jeepers, an hour and the wife and children will be back from their half term somewhere or other, and I have my pre-match preparations.
    With the right team and attitude, I reckon we will get the away win.
    Goon to the Moon people.

  58. David

    Feel sick today…i dont know if its because we dont have Song or Arshavin…or because Wenger has been biggin up Bendtner.

    What a joke.

  59. jayrhitman

    stat attack- ARSENAL have never won in portugal. Only scored once in all those matches . errrrrrrrrrrr prediction tonight hmmmm.

  60. ritesh

    So unlucky with injuries these days. Our team will be weakened by the absence of Almunia….and maybe Denilson too.