If Lump-hard is fit from a thigh strain how come Billy’s not?

by & filed under Uncategorized.

This is the bit I can never figure, a week ago fat Frank had a thigh strain, he was out of the England squad and out of the Arsenal game, then Robin gets injured and decides to go in for horse placenta treatment, then Fat boy does likewise and now he’s back for the Arsenal game, Gallas gets a black eye and he’s doubtful.

If that’s true then it’s unbelievable, how can he be doubtful for a black eye??? Well I hope it’s not true because he will be up for this game and his partnership with Vermaelen is looking awesome, to play this without our forward line is slightly dodgy, to play it without our defence is suicidal.

What is it about Arsenal and injured players? It’s like every game something happens, new boot technology can’t have made all our footballers weeds, they are far fitter than they used to be, why are they always out?

Why does it only ever seem to be Arsenal players?

Anyway we have home advantage, we have the crowd, we have a 100% record this season, and we need to win this to stay in the race, 11 points down in December I think will be a bridge to far, we need to win, win well, and send a message out to the Premiership that they aren’t as good as Sky Sports are telling everyone, and to be honest the Mancs were the better team.

Considering we were better than the Mancs at their gaff, we ought to beat the chavs, I don’t think giving Drogba a dig in the ribs would be the worst idea, and I’d love to see him having a fit again, that was truly pathetic. When I did my ribs, I just got up and poured myself a lager, what a wimp he is.

Well Anelka returns to the Grove this weekend and I for one so wish we had signed him, we could have had him for half of what we sold the whore for, I still think he’s one of the top 5 in the world, ho-hum.

News today is that Dubai is on the brink of titsupness, they want to delay their £35 billion debt on their world development that many EPL footballers invested in, twats, anyone could see that would never fly, still the question I have is will that affect us? The money they paid was up front, so we’re okay there, what chance though we can slide out of it and rebrand ourselves the Coors Light stadium and finally pay off the stadium debt?

Something to think about, have a great day Grovers, today I’m playing golf!

507 Responses to “If Lump-hard is fit from a thigh strain how come Billy’s not?”

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  1. Gunner8

    Coors Light Stadium, nice one Geoff… …that would be the second ex-chav sponsor!

    I would actually buy a new replica shirt for a change as I refused to have fly ethiopia on my chest!

    I could live with Coors the taste of the Rockies (brewed in Burton upon Trent) and both Coors and my best friend Stan live in Colorado!

  2. Big Dave

    Even Jacky “boy” wilshire is injured again.
    What is it with this club that we seem to get more injuries then any other FFS ?

    If silvestre/Tra play up against cole/drog etc, gord help us.

    Our strike force is the smallest around, but pace could get them

  3. Supergunner07

    Confidentgoner Says:
    November 27, 2009 at 10:26




    Rosicky ——-Vela (Dudu)—–Arshravin


    Spot on with Dudu up-top

  4. ArsenalKenya


    The noise levels must be high on Sunday to give our team all the grrrrr to fight the TITLE PRETENDERS.

  5. Gunnersmith

    Three men were standing in line to get into heaven…

    It had been a pretty busy day, though, so St Peter had to tell the first one: “Heaven’s getting pretty close to full today, and I’ve been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what’s your story?”

    The first man replies: “Well, for a while I’ve suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn’t reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony and, sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started punching and kicking him, but wouldn’t you know it, he wouldn’t fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering his fingers. Of course, he couldn’t stand that for long, so he let go and fell – but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay! I couldn’t stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge, and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balcony.”

    “That sounds like a pretty bad day to me,” said Peter, and let the man in.

    The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story.

    “It’s been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn’t hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started punching and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I’m here.”

    Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death.

    The third man came to the front of the line, and again the whole process was repeated. Peter explained that heaven was full and asked for his story.

    “Picture this,” says the third man, “I’m hiding naked inside a refrigerator…”

  6. Jaguar

    Cant stand Diabolical for some reasons.Hates Shitvestre for the following reasons
    1)He is a useless Manure reject
    2)Bastard got a two year contract only because he was French
    3)He is shit

  7. ManGoonian


    I dont wanna know your reasons FFS! I already told you I think its sad and fucked up for a Gooner to think like that…. Dont make it even sadder dude!

    Sheeeeesh! I dont care why you hate, mate!

  8. Jaguar

    Mr ManGoonian,if you dont know why I hate,you dont need to put my name in your comments FFS.I will hate or love whomever I want to and its not your flipping business to be concerned about that.I dont flipping care about the ManCunians.

  9. tonyadamsisgod

    ManGoonian – Are you A in disguise? Can you honestly say you love and have loved every Arsenal player, past and present??

  10. ManGoonian

    I think Diaby would do well vs the chavs, pity he’s injured.

    But i think we can still win. Arshavin, Rosicky, cesc, Nasri are all match winners, IMO. It would be kinda nice if that serial cheat and fouling cunt Terry actually got pulled up for a nandball, trip, shirt pull in the box for once too…

  11. ManGoonian


    There are players I havent rated, but I dont feel the urge to have to slate all the time man…

    Especially when there are soooooo many opposition players to slate, soooo many pundits, hacks, managers, refs, etc too…

  12. tonyadamsisgod

    ManGoonian – Fair enough. I think hate is a strong word but we all know that when we say we hate someone it means we think they’re utter crap. As long as we’re behind every player on that field 100% on match day thats all that counts.

  13. tonyadamsisgod

    ManGoonian – Re your Terry comment….that should be a highly feasible occurrence on Sunday with our attacking play pulling them all over the place!! I wouldn’t bet bundles on it though!

  14. ArsenalKenya

    Arsenal centre-back Thomas Vermaelen believes that the Gunners can still win the Premier League title even if they suffer defeat to Chelsea on Sunday. Acknowledging the widening gap between the current top two sides in the country, the former Ajax captain stressed that he and his teammates would do everything possible to maintain their winning form at the Emirates.

    “Of course Chelsea is number one in the League so it’s a big game. There’s a little gap between us now so for us it’s important to win this game.

    “I’ve seen them a few times and of course you know all the players and their qualities.

    “Because there is already a gap, it’s important to win. If we lose though I still think we can win the league, it’s not a big problem.

    “We’re always confident at home and we have to continue that against Chelsea.

    Reflecting on the injuries which have seen both Gael Clichy and Kieran Gibbs ruled out from playing at left-back, the Belgian continued:

    “Of course it’s affecting the players a little bit. They are teammates and friends. Unfortunately from what I hear [about Gibbs] it’s a bad injury, but we have to keep going. We have other players to play in that position.”

    Vermaelen will face the power of Didier Drogba for the first time in his career at Arsenal with the Ivorian developing a reputation for single-handedly beating the Gunners. Despite his qualities, the 23-year-old still believes that working as a collective can help nullify the threat.

    “He’s a good players and one of the best strikers in the world. For me, I want to play my own game. We play like a team, so its not about me against Drogba.”

  15. tonyadamsisgod

    I’ll say it again – I think the Verm is going to have an immense game up against Drogba and as long as the ref doesn’t fall for Drogba’s usual diving tactics and play acting TV will have him in his pocket!

  16. ManGoonian

    It fucks me off that Eduardo has one apparant dive and is forever labelled a cheat (like Pires was) while serial cheats and divers like Drogba get are allowed to get away with that nshit 100s of times a game!

  17. Mimi

    Taig hating is too strong a word especially for people one doesnt know personally, and if they happen to be in the team you support.

  18. Pedro

    ManG, I think Drogba is widely regarded as the worst diver in the Premiership… followed by Stevie Me… then Rooney…

    Cunts, the lot of them…

  19. charybdis1966

    I think what Rooney gets away with the most is the verbals/dissent in the face of refs. For everyone else it would be a yellow, but even if Shrek persists 5 or 6 more times with that all the refs do is “Now, now Wayne, calm down”.

  20. ArsenalKenya

    Cesc Fabregas believes Arsenal are now ready to compete with Manchester United and Chelsea for the Premier League title, claiming the additions of Thomas Vermalen and Andrei Arshavin to Arsene Wenger’s youthful squad, have been a major influence on their recent revival. Arshavin was signed in January from Zenit St Petersburg and Vermalen from Ajax in the summer, and both have fitted into Wenger’s system almost seamlessly.

    Fabregas told the Mirror: “We have improved. All the players are one year older and much better.”

    “The team really wants to do it this year and we believe we can achieve.”

    “We have strengthened, with Arshavin – who is a special talent and adds another dimension to the team – and Vermaelen, who has started amazingly and is like a defender and midfielder rolled into one at times!”

    The 22-year-old Spaniard also suggests winning the Premier League remains the trophy he covets most, more so than a Champions League winners’ medal.

    He added: “Its going to be difficult.”

    “Chelsea are looking strong and Manchester United may not have [Cristiano Ronaldo and [Carlos] Tevez but they will be there at the end, fighting for it as always.”

    “The Premier League is the tournament I really want to win.”

    “In Spain, the Champions League is seen as superior to La Liga but here the Premier League is the pinnacle.”

    When pressed on whether or not he believed Arsenal could win the league, he replied: “Of course I believe we can win it.”

    “If not, there’s no point in playing football. I play to win and that’s what Arsenal fans want.”

  21. charybdis1966

    Could be Pedders, scouse is a incomprehensible dialect. Maybe we should get our players to learn some of DDM’s hindi swearing when they want to let off steam “Panchod sah-lah, poodiyah” and so forth.

  22. wardo

    Pedro @ 11:57

    I do agree that Drogba is regarded as a diver. I have heard Andy Gray mention it…..not too much tho.

    but, when it comes to Stevie Me…….I have never heard Andy Gray say anything negative about him. Even when he has lunged in and nearly broken someone’s leg or dived in the box.

    Andy Gray spends most of his time hangin out the back of Stevie Me and Shrek its unbelievable

  23. tonyadamsisgod

    I’ll tell you why those twats get away with diving so much! Its because of cunts like Andy ‘I know it all, but bottled taking a management job’ Gray and their absolute fucking refusal to label them as cheats! They just turn a blind eye if its one of the ‘cool gang’!! Gerrard and Rooney get away with it because they are apparently ‘English Bulldogs who would never cheat’ and anyone from Chelsea gets away with literally just because they are Chelsea, have loads of cash and are seen to be the cool guys that everyone wants to be friends with!!

    Fucking angers me!!

  24. tonyadamsisgod

    chary – Re Rooney’s dissent…..I swear to god I am on the verge of writing to the FA posing as concerned father to my Man Utd supporting son who has to watch the Shrek look-a-like cunt swearing at the officials 10 times in every single game!!

    In fact I think we should all do that!!

  25. insidealbania

    Andy gray is a piece of shit, who gives a fuck what he says. One thing to remember is these guys work in ‘media’, they need viewers/listeners/readers. They have airtime/columns which need to be filled. They will always make up something out of nothing because it will keep their audience interested.
    The fact that we are talking about what Andy Gray (again who the fuck is he in our world, I mean the real world which me and you live in?) demonstrates this.

  26. tonyadamsisgod

    Pedro – I think that the world of the EPL has very tightly knit circles and a few words from someone as twatish as Andy Gray travel along way and send echoes right down to where it matters. lets face it, if a ref knows Andy Gray’s view on something and knows that it will be Andy Gray that is going to spend an hour after the game dissecting his performance, he is going to lean towards the decisions that he knows Gray will agree with.

  27. Nick

    A’KENYA saw rude oldgit on the telly talking about ronaldos injury and how many believed it was the work of a witch doctor and how real received a threat before he was injured.As you said weeks ago before it happened.
    supporter groups clubbed together and paid the vodoo ray to lift the curse and now his responding to treatment where he wasn’t before 😯

  28. tonyadamsisgod

    inside – I know what you are getting at and no I don’t. But as long as Ref’s know that Gray is judging them they will favour protecting his pet players such as Stevie GBH, Shrek and Dogbar!

  29. insidealbania

    Nick, I am off after the first commercial. The thing is, we all have eyes and ears and have seen the game. During the game important incidents are replayed many times. There is NOTHING any ‘expert’ can say to enlighten men more than my eyes have done during the game.

  30. dennisdamenace

    Jordan goes into a garage and buys a brand new Bentley.

    “I want it modified for Harvey” she said.

    “No problem” said the salesman “What flavour do you want the windows”!!!!

  31. SharkeySure

    Aftyernoon all ….

    Wardo..I found that joke earlier to be in very poor taste.

    I’m completely ashamed to say that I also found it hilarious.

    We win 4-1 on Sunday. Terry sent off

  32. Gunnersmith

    Three women are about to be executed. One’s a brunette, one’s a redhead and one’s a blonde.

    The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no and the executioner shouts, “Ready! Aim!”

    Suddenly the brunette yells, ”EARTHQUAKE!!!”

    Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes.

    The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.

    She say no and the executioner shouts, ”Ready! Aim!”

    Suddenly the redhead yells, ”TORNADO!!!”

    Everyone is startled and looks around for cover while she escapes.

    By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.

    She says no and the executioner shouts, “Ready! Aim!” and the blonde yells, ”FIRE!!!”’

  33. Nick

    Terrified Jordan claims that she was floored by gipsy bare-knuckle boxers while at a cage-fighting night with her new love conquest Alex Reid.
    Proof that even a pikie would rather slap her around than shag her.

  34. dennisdamenace

    I will hold my hands up and say i posted this one a couple of days ago, but what the hell…..

    Locals in Cockermouth have been panning for gold, but so far they’ve only managed to find some copper!!!!

  35. wardo

    Nick / Sharkey – I felt bad bout that one but did laugh !!! 😀

    DDM – did you see the Jordan Aqua barbie one earlier……you’ll love that one.

    Did laugh at the Bentley one also….

  36. Jimmythegun

    Andy Gray is as short-sighted at the rest of the media; however I always smile when I remember his reaction to Pires’ lob against Villa.

    He started with some kind of excited squeal, then physically applauded, then told everyone he was standing up and applauding, then told Pires to take a bow.

    Quite right too!

  37. Nick

    I know its old but i like it

    The other night I was invited out for a night with the ‘girls.’ I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, ‘I promise!’

    Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times.
    Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him.
    Even when totally smashed… 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT!

    The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him ‘MIDNIGHT’… he didn’t seem pissed off in the least. Whew, I got away with that one!

    Then he said ‘We need a new cuckoo clock.’

    When I asked him why, he said, ‘Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said ‘oh f**k.’ Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.

  38. SharkeySure

    Jimmy – I rememeber that well. One of Le Bobs finest moments that.

    He put Boateng (who’s no mug) in a real spin then lobs the big Dane from only eight yards out !!

    Fucking disgracefully outrageous skill that !!

    All hail Le Bob !!!

  39. tonyadamsisgod

    My finest memory of Bobby P wasn’t any of his audacious plays but simply when the whole team got down on their knees and bowed in true ‘we worship you’ style at the EPL title ceremony!! Fucking money!!

  40. ArsenalKenya

    Arsene Wenger has confirmed that Cameroon international Alexandre Song has signed a new contract which will keep him at Arsenal until 2015 and not 2014 as he had previously stated. The midfield enforcer has earned praise in recent weeks for his commanding performances at the heart of an in-form Gunners side and become a firm fan favourite despite early career doubts over his ability.

    Speaking to Arsenal TV Online, Wenger clarified the incorrect information he passed to the press earlier in the week.

    “I gave wrong information,” joked the Frenchman.

    “It was not 2014 but 2015, he is staying even longer!”

    “I would remind everybody that there was big question marks over Song for a long time. We worked patiently with him to make him a great player which is what I believe he is now.”

    “When you work as much as we do, you do not want to lose your best players.”

  41. Nick

    A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says “Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bustline forty four”.

    Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened, and in minutes they both return.

    This time the husband crosses his fingers and says “Mirror mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor!”.

    Again, there’s a bright flash…and his legs fall off.

  42. SharkeySure

    And ‘audacious’ is deffo the word to describe Le Bob. Well said Taig

    Fuuny thing is that I was at one of his earliest games…home to Bolton (Aug/Sep 2000?) and I remember how scared he looked at the ferocity of the Prem.

    I was about ten rows from the pitch in the Clock End and you could almost smell the fear when he came our way.

    But we all know how it turned out once he’d adjusted…

    Top Man !!

  43. ArsenalKenya

    Come one, come all. A good day to all you merry gentlemen, and welcome seedy purveyors. It’s only 40 days to go until the transfer window opens, and to ease the tingling excitement Sport.co.uk present a saucy South African – welcome Candice Swanepoel. This sultry sex symbol swans onto the Sport stage thanks to her shifts modelling for Nike. From the swoosh she went on to become the face of Tommy Hilfiger, Diane von Fürstenberg and that far away land where dreams come true – Victoria Secret.

    As you can see Miss Swanepoel is something rather special, a little treat for when the days get longer and darker and you need something to warm up your week. Because we are generous folk at Sport.co.uk we have added a couple of complimentary shots. Don’t say we don’t treat you…

  44. RockyPires

    Ya he was but missed three months of the season and still player of the season what an outright legend. Posted a compi of him a few weeks back, you watch it get such joy then think why have we no- one like that now. Its like watching porn then looking at you rank girlfriend s flabby ass

  45. Mimi

    Pedro no..I hate the likes of Osama and others that i havent met. But to hate a player jus coz they play crappy is too much

    Nick the cuckoo joke was the best…that should give you 2 bonus points.

  46. Nick

    was watching the news for the deaf about the floods in Cumbria. The woman doing the sign language gave up after 3 attempts at Cockermouth!!!

  47. Nick

    New fragrences out for Xmas…

    ‘Decomposure’ by Jade Goody

    ‘Last Dance’ by Patrick Swayze

    ‘Touch of youth’ by Michael Jackson

    ‘Just for men’ by Stephen Gately

    ‘Breathless’ by Farrah Fawcett

    ‘Vacancy’ by Boyzone.

  48. Nick

    Man sez to wife, “ur the double of Cheryl Cole”.
    She sez, “Do u think so?”
    He sez, “Aye, she’s 8 stone and ur 16 stone u fat bitch

  49. Nick

    Man charges into a bank wearing a mask & wielding a shotgun. “This is a raid, everyone on the floor!” Then raids all the cash. A brave customer yanks off his mask, so the robber shoots him dead. “Anyone else here see my face?”. There was a silence for a few seconds before a man said ” Think that twat over there with the spurs shirt caught a glimpse”

  50. Duke

    I am back, and Nick hahaha, not a top joke, but whenever you put Spurs instead of anything in the joke, I literally burst out laughing 😀

  51. Nick

    Barak Obama is a big fan of Susan Boyal. He says he will enlist her help in the war against terror.
    He will use posters of her to show young arabs what a virgin really looks like!

  52. Nick

    donald duck on a dirty weekend calls reception & asks for condoms – receptionist says shall I put them on your bill?
    “dont be thuckin thupid I’d thuffocate!”

  53. Duke

    Nick, used my best ones up, I have some more, but my Pakistani one almost broke up an out roar.

    This one shouldn’t be too bad:

    The only thing arm wrestling really shows is who is the biggest wanker.

  54. Nick

    Police in london have found a bomb outside a mosque. They’ve told the public not panic as they’ve managed to push it inside.

    Two Muslims have crashed a speedboat into the Thames barrier in London…

    Police think it may be the start of Ram a Dam.

  55. tonyadamsisgod

    wardo – When ever I start laughing out of the blue, the fella that sits opposite me just says ‘come on then, tell me…..’

  56. Nick

    A Jewish boy has been born with no eyelids.
    The Doctors say they can operate using the foreskin from his circumcision but he runs the risk of being ‘cock-eyed’

    Right ive posted three jokes digging out the three main religions just to keep equal 🙂

  57. Duke

    wardo, I don’t like explaining jokes…but it’s a play on words, basically taking the expression and and turning it around, the saying being I like to pop to over to the pub opposite my house, this being an opposite meaning that I spend all my time in the pub and go home occasionally.

    Maybe you just didn’t find it funny?

    Nick go for it…

  58. wardo

    I have proper tears in my eyes over the ram a dam one……that is classic and has already gone out via text to all my mates

  59. Duke

    I am glad I heard the ram a dam before, because the boss is sitting at the next desk today, and he is pissed, now if I started laughing, that would be fucking weird.

  60. tonyadamsisgod

    I have a racist joke that I know you fuck wits would laugh at but it does offend black people and Pakistanis……..

  61. Duke

    Nick, the Liverpool Library is having to reprint all their dictionaries, because apparently the word Europe now comes with an A at the end.

  62. Nick

    Paddy says to his mate,”I’ve been taking steroids and I’ve grown another cock”.
    His mate says ,”anabolic?”
    “No” says paddy “just a cock.”

  63. Duke

    I got pulled over the other day and the cop told me to keep an eye on my speed.

    I was really thankful, I didn’t notice it was falling out of my pocket.

  64. Nick

    After his latest car crash, George Michael is to release a reworking of the old Wham classic and rename it “Wake me up, I’ve hit your Volvo!!”

  65. Nick


    Just watch your wedding video backwards!!! You will fcuking love the bit where the ring comes off and she walks down the aisle, jumps in the waiting car and fcuks off!!!

  66. Nick


    RyanAir pilot Paddy flying in to Manchester.
    The plane is in trouble so he calls the tower & says

  67. tonyadamsisgod

    A woman walks into her doctors to complain about the steroids he put her on.

    “These steroids are having a nasty side affect” says the woman. “I’ve got hair all of my chest!!”

    “Really” says the doctor. “How far down does it go?”

    “Right down to my bollocks!!” says the woman.

  68. Nick

    Bloke went up 2 a bird in a bar & thinkin he was being dead smooth said “is that a ladder in ur stocking or is it a stairway 2 heaven?”
    She immediately replied “Yeah it is a stairway to heaven but i`ve already got a Cunt up there ALREADY so Fuck off !!!!”