Van Persie has babies injected in his foot.

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Like in a scene from a horror film sicko Robin Van Persie will have a placenta implant in his ankle performed at Frankenstein Castle in Serbia. His agent Brian Karloff, grandson of the legendary actor Boris has confirmed that his starlet is meeting with Dr Frankenstein’s assistant manager, Igor, in a bid to speed his recovery from his run in with ugly Italian centre back Giorgio Chiellini.

Frankly I don’t care if he had two youth players sewn into his foot as long as he’s back in our front line before Christmas, if that were to happen though, my guess is that we wouldn’t be buying another forward in the window, which of course would save project youth.

One thing that a number of you said yesterday is we didn’t need another forward, we needed a centre back and defensive midfielder before we need a forward, I sort of agree with that kind thinking, sort of.

Talk of Eduardo wanting out because of his lack of starts is complete bollocks, he’s had limited starts because he’s been injured, I expect Robin to be replaced by Eduardo, simple as that. Or he may switch Arshavin to the middle with Rosicky or Walcott on one side and Eduardo and Vela on the other.

He may even put Diaby in there, and although some of you are quaking with fear at that thought, I think that may be the answer against Sunderland, a bit of height.

As long as we don’t see Eboue re-appear on the right wing, I’ll be happy to see any new line up. I do have a question though Arsene, when you said having Rosicky and Eduardo back would be like having two new players, did you mean like having two new injured players? Because everytime Rosicky plays, he seems to miss the next four, is he Ledley King in disguise?

Don’t get me wrong, I love Rosicky, but blimey, when do we get to rely on him being in the team, you know, like Vermaelen or Gallas, if one of them were injured, we be in major league trouble.

It’s obvious that Senderos has no future, so why don’t you just sell him and get a replacement, or try him as a defensive midfielder, seeing him in the squad and getting paid makes me sad and pissed off at the same time, why have an expensive dud hanging around, it can’t be good for moral can it? And I don’t think he deserves that sort of treatment, he always did his best for us.

So just a few days to go to find out what the boss will do without the boy wonder, can we maintain our form and beat Sunderland and the chavs, I hope he has a plan, who would you pick?

Have a great day Grovers, four days and counting!

726 Responses to “Van Persie has babies injected in his foot.”

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  1. dennisdamenace

    Sunderland will be without Cattermole & Jones both suspended, and Gordon who’s injured…..

    But, then as a supposed title challenger who gives a shit who they’ve got unavailable……fuck ’em!

  2. Pat

    Richardson is shit. He’s good at set pieces, thats about it. Silvestre would stop him. Traore is anything but a LB mate. Did you ever see him there? Constantly gets burned and has no discipline/positioning. He’e more of a LW than a LB

  3. dennisdamenace

    Does anyone really think we need another forward in the January window?

    Personally, i think that this should provide the ideal opportunity for the Vela’s of our squad the chance to show what they can do.

    However, if the Bindippers wanna sell us Torres in January, then i’d bite their fucking hand off….

  4. Big Raddy

    No I don’t DDM. It would be very short sighted. We have proved that goals are not a problem & I really don’t understand the calls for a forward.

    M. Diarra would be a decent call, but I really believe in this squad. We don’t need anyone

  5. Pedro

    I’m with you two… we don’t need a forward… especially as in all likelihood it would be Chamakh… who doesn’t look that amazing to me.

  6. dennisdamenace

    Like i’ve said in the past (recently) a number one priority must be a quality CB, personally i’d try to get Upson. If Ponderos and Silvestre are good enough for us so is Upson! I’d feel a lot happier with him on the bench than either of the other two.

    For me a CB quartet of Vermin, Gallas, Upson and Djourou would be quite a solid and impressive lineup.

    And, i’m sure that Upson would rather play 20-25 games a season in a Champions League/Premier League chasing team than 60 games in a relegation threatened team….

  7. Pat

    Pedro, if he had great finishing, he’d be world class. Link-up play is amazing for someone who is 6’2(I think), TREMENDOUS in the air. He’d work well in our system and our style. He leaves it all on the pitch. Plays his heart out and will be a fan favorite wherever he goes

  8. Samir

    I also believe we don’t need another forward. We have enough forwards as it is.
    This is the whole point of having back up players. When a first team (RVP) gets injured they take over. You never know, whoever takes Van the man’s spot might do even better than he did?

  9. SUGA3

    if he doesn’t get too big headed, that is…

    I don’t think there is any player in our squad being the direct competition as far as a large striker is concerned…

  10. gnarleygeorge9

    This phenomenon Geoff describes of babies being injected into RVP11’s foot is not that unusual. Wasn’t a babies brain transplanted into Ade-the-whores head 😆

  11. WB

    what we will sign in january entirely depends on these one and half month.
    dudu,rosicky and vela’d fitness will decide whether we need another striker or not.
    imo,wenger will try in this time different players at dm,and if none bear fruits he may buy a dm.
    buying a gk is highly unlikely

  12. Pedro

    He’d end up displacing someone we’ve persisted with… It’d be like unfinished business if we binned Nik now!

    I’d prefer a centre back… Sakho looked good, a bit cumbersome though? A good age though… and you know one of the big Italian clubs will get him if we don’t.

    Where has all this Torres noise come from?

  13. Pedro

    If the Liverpool board were smart… they’d sell Torres for £60million, then save another £20million because Rafa would quit and get fuck all compensation!

    That’s an £80million deal and enough cash to rebuild… jeez, I should work for Liverpool!


    chamakh is class, even heard benzema talking bout him and saying hes the best in france

    vela is unproven still and we are in a title race and need players that are ready now
    also i saw traore playing LB for france u21 and was class


    more ready then vela

    he is stsonger and better technically and would challenge rvp for that front spot, i see vela more on the left of a three
    plus he would offer us something in the air which none of our attacking players other then niki can
    wenger werent sniffing round all summer cause of his aftershave

  16. dennisdamenace

    Mark G – The only reason that numpty is the best in France is because all the decent players have already fucked off 😉

  17. Pedro

    He is no more ready than Vela in my opinion.

    I think Vela has more international caps, more goals and experience in the champions league and way more potential.

    French players are hardly notorious for coming over and settling… especially when they don’t have a goals scoring record to begin with.

    I’d prefer to role with what we have and trust in the talent.

  18. choy

    not all that much WB..
    Manchester United

  19. choy

    not all that much WB..
    Manchester United

  20. A

    that would be really shit gm, i thought it was an ankle injury he was meant to have? The FA said they didn’t think it was serious but he’d gone to have an x-ray. Traore can come in for him but it’s a big blow for Gibbs as this was his opportunity. Big big chance for Traore though, imo he has more physically and technically than gibbs, but just doesn’t have gibbs intelligence and composure

  21. ManGoonian

    Gibbs had hobbled to the ambulance with the aid of crutches and the initial fear was that he had suffered a broken metatarsal though the X-ray appeared to discount this.


    Sounds a bit better then the Mirror one…

  22. Pat

    Why does everyone rate Traore? He is our worst LB. Silvestre has always been a reliable LB in the few games he’s played there for us and impressed there for the Mancs even before he left.

    Not sure what his natural position is, but if he never played CB, I’m sure most of you would like him now. He’s a good LB, solid.

  23. Pat

    Thanks for that MG. I was going to go mental with all these injuries! The Americans at my university think I’ve gone mad when I celebrate an Arsenal victory! They’re not used to the passion in their sports I guess

  24. Pat

    About the placenta treatment:

    Don’t those cells undergo replication (Mitosis) faster than normal cells? Wouldn’t that mean that muscle/tendon/etc tears would heal faster? Doesn’t seem like rocket science yet all the newspapers are making it seem so

  25. ardentgooner


    I agree its no rocket science….and i really dont care what he does as long as he is back soon….. Now its gibbs wonder if we should hire that lady in our medical team…She’ll be busy she’l have company with the ever charming and ladies man Rosicky… 🙂

  26. Pat

    If this lady gets RVP back somehow for the Chelsea game, it will really be a miracle. I don’t believe she will manage, but imagine the hype if RVP does get back in less than 3 weeks

  27. ardentgooner

    trust me they are not..I’m studying here..(american univ) and its difficult to get them excited for a college football (american football) game…college football is supposed to be huge here…not that my univ is any good at it…but cmon we dont even fill up the whole 63000 stadium….

  28. Pat

    baseball is a joke. The fans are usually all fat and eating hotdogs and drinking coca cola. Btw, tey’re all sitting and they can carry out a polite conversation with the other teams’ fans

  29. Pat

    Spanish football is great. Forget about Barca playing the most attractive football. In the final 3rd, Sevilla have been the most attractive team, minus the last 2 seasons. Under Ramos, no one played more thrilling attacking football in La Liga.

    Navas, Capel, Fabianos, Kanoute(in form), Keita, Alves joining in was a joy to watch

  30. ardentgooner

    I went to one of my univ’s football game…although I dont understand the game and rules too much ( american football is complicated)…but i was still shouting at the top of my voice…..cheering every extra yard covered……. i really like the chants here though….although we dont get to cheer too much cuz we lose most of the time….. but i still have that school spirit to support them at all times…

  31. gnarleygeorge9

    Pat there is no cut & thrust; spanish football in general IMO is like the Japanese baseball league is the the American Baseball League or whatever they call it. Its a hibrid. England invented football, & so shall they be football IMO.

  32. Pat

    gnarley, might have invented it, but the English league(premier league) hasn’t reached the level that Serie A and La Liga were at in their prime.

    The players. PL has a tiny proportion of the legends. Majority played in Italy or Spain.

    For this talk of inventing football, the only reason english teams are successful presently is cause they adopted ideas and styles from European teams and incorporated them into their physical, hard work ethic style.

  33. gnarleygeorge9


    Over the long haul, English football stands alone. I’m not talking last 20 years, I’m talking since they invented it in the mid to late 1800’s. The English took football to Argentina; Juventus adopted the barcode of Newcastle United; AC Milan was founded by the English; etc, etc. No league in the world has the history, the passion; the excitement of the F A Cup. The English fans were singing long before Franco pissed off the Catalans, etc, etc

    Football is England and England is football. Thats why everyone else hates England coz they know this, & no amount of whoring to sign a player will ever change that.

    We in Oz only dislike England coz they pushed cricket on us & not footy back in 1880. Bloody cricket, well we are good @ it.

  34. ikon

    When I am not good at one thing, I go ahead and say I was the first to attempt it.

    England has a long way to go before they emulate the flowing football of Spain, Argentina or Brazil. Even the youth squad of England is quite dope I would say.

    Some time back I read a column by John Dykes saying that lack of futsal at the grassroots level of english academies is one of the many reasons for lack of real talent coming up.

    It will take quite some time before we see an English team playing footballwithout spraying passes all over the ground.

  35. gnarleygeorge9

    It seems that football is a way of dragging the poor kids outa the gutters, hence spain, Brasil & argentina have so many great players now. Name one great player from these countries that didn’t grow up poor. I guess English kids have more options & are not as poor. How about that 😉 What ever England is football, & football will for ever be English.

  36. ikon

    The unique thing about English football is that defenders have an equal say as the attackers. Makes up for an even contest. I watch spain, and its like the onus is always on scoring more and conceeding less. In England, fingers are pointed if you conceed and fingers are pointed if you miss scoring.

    It is this balance between attack and defnse that makes the English football a treat to watch.

    I partly agree with the fact that English kids have more options to make money, hence the lack of ambition at the footballing level. But that is just an excuse to cover up for the inability of clubs to find talents. I cannot buy the fact that in smaller towns the English are driven only by money. We see so many talents coming out of Southampton, Leeds, but the inability of the clubs to give them the proper platform does absolutely nothing for their ambitions.

  37. gnarleygeorge9

    Stan Kroenke’s right-hand man has defended the American tycoon’s low public profile, insisting the nickname ‘Silent Stan’ is ‘very unfair’.

    Kroenke was in the news again earlier this month when he took his stake in Arsenal’s parent holding company to 29.9 percent.

    If he goes beyond 29.99 percent, he is legally obliged to launch a formal takeover bid for the club but, despite moving very close to that mark, he has remained silent on his intentions towards the Gunners.

    Paul Andrews, the executive vice-president of Kroenke Sports Enterprises, felt it was right for Kroenke to stay out of the media spotlight.

    He told BBC Radio Five Live: “(He is a) regular guy, a tremendous leader and visionary. (He is) a guy that, if he was sitting in here today, would be very eloquent, and very respectful of you and the rest of the media.

    “He is always respectful but there are certain times that I don’t believe it’s right for an owner to be commenting.

    “So we advise him on times when we think it’s appropriate for him to be in the media, or not in the media, and that’s what we talk about as an executive group.

    “But any moniker placed on him, such as ‘Silent Stan’, is very unfair and really should not be used in any form in the media because he is a brilliant man.

    “He has to be a brilliant man to be what he is in the world today.”

    Kroenke already has a strong ownership presence in American sports, with NBA basketball team Denver Nuggets, NHL ice hockey franchise the Colorado Avalanche and Major League Soccer outfit the Colorado Rapids part of the KSE portfolio.

    Andrews added: “He is passionate about sport. He wants to win, he is driven to win. He has taken a basketball team (the Nuggets), which at the time in 2000 was near the bottom of the table, and transformed it to a team that’s at the top of the table.

    “It didn’t just happen. It came because he’s passionate, he’s hard-working and he has great vision and the ability to sift through all the recommendations we give him to come out with something that becomes very rewarding.”

    Well Stanley, how about some top ups in January, please 😉

  38. ArsenalKenya

    LONDON (AFP) – Dutch striker Dirk Kuyt said he was “disappointed” by the lack of respect Italy showed during last weekend’s friendly which saw fellow Netherlands forward Robin van Persie sustain an injury.

    The Arsenal striker was stretchered off the pitch after being tackled by Italian defender Giorgio Chiellini 14 minutes into Saturday’s goalless draw in Pescara and could be out of action for up to six weeks.

    Van Persie absolves Chiellini of blame but Kuyt said the challenge on the striker was symptomatic of Italy’s over-physical approach to what was only a friendly international.

    “I was very disappointed (by Italy),” Kuyt told Sky Sports.

    “We played a friendly against a big country and if you see the way they kicked us it’s very sad, very sad for the Dutch team and also very sad for Robin because he was in great form,” the Liverpool forward added.

    “I think it was a bad tackle. Sometimes you think about this when you play a friendly for your country there should be more respect for each other and hopefully it won’t happen in the future.”

    Van Persie has scored eight goals this season.

  39. gnarleygeorge9

    English clubs have it all over the spanish & italian clubs. Apart from the way Chelski were put outa the CL last year (barca were lucky to make the final) English club are far superior to the rest, & a 5th club man city are on the up as well if you believe the hype.

    The Arsenal manager plays the best football going around, & barca & real are lining up to secure its star. I cannot fathom how Spanish & italian leagues are said to be better.

  40. Micky Did It 89

    Morning all.
    Thought I would look in before it goes tits up with a). children around, and b). Edmond Dante turns up!
    Dont need no signings. Attack, attack, attack!

  41. Micky Did It 89

    When I say no signings, what I really mean is, if Ros and Theo cry off once more, then bring in Ribery. Maybe Hazard, although the finnished article would be better for now as we have plenty of good young guns coming through.
    Attack, attack, attack.

  42. Emperor Gooner

    well i dont see any problems even with rvp gone cuz rosicky n nasri r back…remember we’ve been scoring all these goals WITHOUT these fellows so imagine when they come into the team now…that’s what we’ve been missing – players with class..diaby and eboue disturb the flow of our games with their lack of arsneal like passing me , we’re gonna see only a more destructuve side from now on

    js pray tomas n dudu stay fit cuz nasri will i’m might sound highly stupid but an effective way of making sure that they remain fit is to EXPECT that they will get injured..i mean just imagine in your head that in a few days time you’ll be reading about they being injured..if you do that , then it wont happen cuz you’ve expected that

  43. rico

    Good thanks iceman, you?

    Can’t wait for Saturday,


    Eboue TV Gallas Sagna

    Cesc Song Rosicky

    Nasri Eduardo Arshavin

    That would do me 🙂

  44. Geoff

    Morning all, don’t worry Micky, he won’t be back, I was losing the will to live, Pedro let him on, so I yellow carded him (Pedro that is).

  45. Micky Did It 89

    Geoff: I was following yesterday, but kept my distance. I would have been looking at a straight red.
    Ribery or nothing. I really don’t think we have anything to worry about this weekend, and further injuries aside, I am sure we will do the Chavs too. Top of the league soon.

  46. rico

    I had a dream last night, and this is honest.

    Eduardo had just scored against the Chavs to make it 4-1 – sadly though that was our 1 and we lost…

    And my dreams never come true….

  47. Geoff

    Morning Rico! Micky you wouldn’t of got a red, had I been around he would have been off much earlier, in-fact I’m out most of today as well.

  48. insidealbania

    Morning all,
    AW said November was a bad month for us historically and the trend looks set to continue, with regards to injuries. I hate international football.

    GG9 – not trying to be pedantic but Juv got the barcode from Notts county, who like Newcastle are also nicknamed ‘The Magpies’.

  49. iceman

    They’ll fly by! You know it.
    Just curious who he’ll play in RvP’s place.
    I wanna say Eduardo but knowing AW…he’ll prob stick his beloved Diaby in there.

  50. rico

    If Diaby HAS to ever be in the team, I would rather it be in the front three than the midfield three, he disrupts the midfield big time…

  51. rico

    Good point iceman, maybe we will see the same midfield as Wolves, after Diaby went off of course 😉

    I hope Song plays though, Ramsey v Cana…. 🙁