Why Arsenal is just like new Labour + Election Results…

by & filed under Uncategorized.

Welcome to another fantastic addition of the weekly Guest Blog. This week long time Grover, Gunner8 has contributed a piece.

This piece follows on from Pedro’s fabulous politico blog on Friday, thanks for teeing me up!

I am going to try and show in a chronological time line how the rise and fall of Arsenal mirrors the rise and fall of our current government since 1997.

Of course Wenger joined in 1996 and had a pretty good season for the (then) rarest of beasts, a foreign manager. After releasing Dickov, McGoldrick and the prolific (sic) John Jensen, Arsene took over the famous back five and added a young Vieira and a not so young Remi Garde to the mix.

97-98: The real good stuff starts to happen in 1997 though, as Arsenal and New Labour showed that change can be great, both PM and AM (Arsenal Manager) gave us the vision of a brave new world order. The PM showed that we would not be forced into the EMU at the detriment to our economy. Wenger cleared out more dead wood in Hartson, Morrow, Helder, Selley, Linighan and Merson while bringing in the hard tackling Grimandi and Petit, plus the speedy wingers Overmars and Boa Morte, the lethal striker Anelka and the equally young Upson to relieve the tired Arsenal back 4. The result, a famous League and Cup double. The gooner faithful could not believe their luck, who was this man who made Adams, Bould, Dixon and Winterburn look 10 years younger?

98-99: Losing Arsenal Legend Ian Wright (and loudmouth), ex-England Captain David Platt and replacing them with the unknown Freddie Ljungberg and Nelson Vivas was Arsene’s first gamble. After a great start to the season with the Charity Shield and a debut goal for our new no.8 we lost the league by 1 point with little thanks to ex-gooner O’Leary’s LUFC. A cabinet reshuffle and airstrikes against Iraq dented the opinion polls, all in all things were still looking strong.

99-00: Bould, Garde and Boa Morte were no loss, but the transfer of Anelka to Madrid for £23million (22.5mil profit); whilst allowing us to build a training ground to make every team jealous signalled that Arsene-al were ready to sell their stars to the highest bidder.

Did we care though? Did we hell, Wenger’s genius gave us Henry, Kanu, Silvinho, and then a past it Suker, Luznhy and Pennant. We started brightly winning the Shield again while capitulating in the league and losing on penalties in the UEFA cup final. This was the year the Millennium dome cost the country a fortune as did Gordon Brown’s blunder in selling ½ of the nations gold reserves at a 20 year low (it has since trebled in price) costing us £2 billion, Anelka’s value had gone down in the meantime!

00-01: Overmars and Petit to Barca followed by Suker and Winterburn all left. Winterburn was replaced by Lauren, Overmars by Pires and Suker by Wiltord… Arsene’s legendary transfer policies continued to amaze everyone.

As foot and mouth breaks out, we are again runners up in the league and FA cup. Arsenal do announce the new stadium project to keep up with the competition.

01-02: Silvinho leaves after being replaced by the biggest twunt to wear our shirt, as does Vivas. Arsene strengthens his squad by adding Edu, Campbell, Van Bronckhorst and the young Richard Wright to take over from Seaman.

Labour win a second term and the government launch attacks on Afghanistan which were popular due to the Sept. 11th attacks on NYC.

The result, some strong additions to complement the team end up in Wenger’s second double, AKB’s abound, interestingly Labour decided against joining the EMU (just like the last time we won the double).

02-03: 3 Legends left our club Big Tone, Lee Dixon and the Grimster, in came Kolo, Zinedine Cygan, Gilberto and Swiss Tony? The club changed the crest to make it more modern and dropped the famous Victoria Concordia Crescit (Victory Through Harmony). We win the charity shield and the FA Cup, meanwhile Labour is suffering a 1 million people strong march against the aggression in Iraq and the BS about the WMD’s (jeezus we all knew that you are after the black gold!).

03-04: The real divine ponytail leaves and is replaced by a mad German. Luzhny, Upson and Van Bronckhorst all leave, while Clichy, Djourou and Fabregas step in.

Labour again vote against the EMU and the Invincibles walk the league. Blair becomes the longest serving Labour PM and Saddam is captured.

04-05: Parlour, Kanu, Wiltord, and Volz are replaced by Almunia, Bendtner, Flamini, Reyes and van Persie. After the early promise of winning the Charity Shield again Labour’s policies see them lose 450 seats at local council’s and even though it’s a rough year we they win a third term and we win the FA Cup our last piece of silverware to date.

05-06: We lose Vieira and Edu from our experienced midfielders, also Pennant and Taylor from the youths they are replaced by Eboue, Song and Hleb. Runner’s up in the Charity Shield we do go against all odds to within 20 minutes of winning the Champions League. Labour have been living off the fat of the good times just like Arsenal were living off the fat of the Invincibles oh and Greedybayor joined halfway through the season.

06-07: We move to our soulless concrete arena Ashburton Grove which made Highbury sound like an Iron Maiden concert. Yet while losing the experience of Campbell, twuntley, Bergkamp, Pires, Bentley and er Cygan we sign Rosicknote and Gallas. The dawn of project youth was upon us. Traore, Walcott, Denilson, and Diaby were all purchased.

Brown assumes control of the government and we lose in the league cup final.

07-08: Henry, Ljungberg, Lauren, Reyes and Aliardiere all leave while Diarra, Fabianski, Sagna and Eduardo join. Somehow the team gels without the sulkiness of our leader and we sit atop the league in February as the recession starts to bite Arsenal drop away and end up fourth. Dein quits and Kronke becomes a shareholder. Diarra who couldn’t wait to leave does, bye dolphin’ead.

08-09: While every gooner on the planet could see that all we needed was to keep the team together and get a decent CB, maybe a keeper and a winger, we lose Hleb, Flamini, Gilberto, Lehmann and Hoyte whilst signing Vela (finally), Nasri and Ramsey. We look a shambles and the signing of Arshavin helps us get to two cup semi finals that we subsequently lose. Our dynamic Russian was missing for both, most believed he should have been signed in the summer… I’d agree. The government get’s whacked by the expenses scandal.

Some people still support project youth despite it’s failing, just like some people (miraculously) still support Gordon Brown!

Labour who have always stood for the working class had milked this country dry while helping the rich get richer, Arsenal have milked us fan’s (the working class) dry by charging us a fortune. At the same time, the corporate wankers leave early and ruin the experience. We are told to shut up and sit down whilst forking out for extortionatly priced tickets in the crap, uber-pc world of the Emirates.

Why do you think we all call it Ashburton Grove Arsenal? Labour have also gone down the PC route so that in this country we have no rights but terrorists do?

This is the brave new world order that we live in today!

I am voting BNP (Buy Now Party), you should to!


P.S. The results are in from the polling station…

  • BNP 59%
  • Continuity Party 27%
  • Uspend 15%

It’s nice to see that despite there being overwhelming support for investing in the team at sensible levels, there is still varying support for other ideologies. I guess that variety is what keeps the debating so spicey in the comments!

Have a great day Grovers!

367 Responses to “Why Arsenal is just like new Labour + Election Results…”

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  1. Samir

    Stu it was just on TV, he took his helmet off.
    @Zorro LOL! and I have no idea where he found the time…

  2. Stu

    Well Klenerson was in the WC winning team so he has experience on his side i suppose.

    Who does he play for anyway?

  3. patthegooner

    Another Billionaire in the PL. I wonder who the club is?

    DUBAI, June 21 (Reuters) – A member of a ruling family in the United Arab Emirates has bought a majority stake in an English Premier League soccer club, the official WAM news agency reported on Sunday.
    WAM did not name the club but said Sheikh Ahmed bin Saqr al-Qassimi has bought 60 percent of it, adding that details would be announced in a few days.
    Sheikh Ahmed, a member of the ruling family Ras al-Khaimah, will be honorary chairman of the club.
    Ras al-Khaimah is one of seven members in the UAE federation which also includes key oil producer Abu Dhabi and regional trade and tourism hub Dubai.
    Last year Abu Dhabi’s Sheikh Masnour bin Zayed al Nahyan bought Premier League club Manchester City, while Portsmouth is the subject of a bid from another Abu Dhabi investor, Sulaiman al-Fahim.

  4. Paulinho

    Fuck knows Stu, probably some run of the mill Brazilian side.

    Says alot though that World Cup winning defensive midfielder Dunga is not sold on Denilson, despite him being first choice for most of the season at a club like Arsenal.

  5. ManGoonian

    Erm…. Pompey I thought? Maybe not…

    Kleberson is an experienced player who has previous with the Brazil squad…. Im sure Denilson will get into the squad soon enough…

  6. patthegooner

    I hope not Incesc, and surely not with the Emirates Sponsorship of us.

    Could it be us? Whose shares would they be if true?

  7. Nightman

    Have you all been watching Melo for Brazil just now??

    Such calm and quality…and even a bit of pace!

    I hope we get him…really do…

  8. Pat


    Felipe Melo: 8 – Dominated the midfield, and is really starting to look like one of the strongest players in his position in the world.

  9. patthegooner


    Diaby has not gone on Holiday, instead he is working with some specialist in France to bulk up and improve his speed. Scroll up for full story.

    Fair play to him, great attitude

  10. ManGoonian

    Dont think the Confeds Cup is any good way to judge a player, IMO. Not saying Melo is shite tho…

  11. ManGoonian

    Yep, fair play to Diaby, hope he can improve his fitness, but, what position he will be fighting for?

  12. ManGoonian

    Wow, just read the guest blog…. Mmmmm not a great read and pretty dull conformist yadda yadda …. IMO.

  13. Stu

    Just read todays guest post. Good…apart from the political aspect…which not being english, i didnt really get.

    Other than that it made me think about Suker being bought in his twilight years. Why dont we do that anymore? Im not sure how he fared during his time because i wasnt an avid arsenal enthusiast like i am now. But surely he added a touch of class.

    United had Larsson help then to the eague title a few seasons ago. Barca had him do likewise against us in the CL. Not saying we should get him but surely someone like that. Someone that could help us like they did. Also there was Montella for Fulham a few years ago aswell, Litmannen at Liverpool before hand.

    Get it? Booya!

  14. Stu

    Well still tho….he had some great answers.

    Batman and Jessica Alba.
    When they asked about fighting i immediately thought of him and Ade “fighting”.

  15. ethangunner

    oh dear politics , race , gender .. kkk nazi’s
    what ever .. lifes to short to worry about it ..
    you could count the white jokes a say about myself every day and you would at least need 2 hands to count them ! ! people are to sensitive about themselves .. you are what you are .. accept it and embrace it ..
    and most importantly FUCKING GET OVER IT !

    then if you have a sense of humor make fun of it !
    im a white minority in a non-Caucasian nation ..
    i see asian’s side with asians every day ..
    and muslims side with muslims , thats racist!!!

    so when black people come on here and defend ade or asians in the street tell me to go home to the UK thats what i find offensive because your not judging people on ability or what they do for the community your generalizing with racist motives .

    why am i bringing it up ? because racism , politics and all that have nothing to do with football .. football is based on ability and adaptation to a squad ..

    ade is rubbish and its not because he’s African
    its because he is JUST CRAP ..

    cesc and RVP this season for me haven’t been far behind either … and for the prices they’ve been quoted transfer wise this season i would be just as happy if wenger cleans house and gets in a new squad ..

    because keeping this one together is a recipe for being long term mediocre ..

  16. ReVELAtion

    On a different note:

    Hate the new away kit btw! It’s a bit “to wear with jeans when not going to watch football”… urgh!

  17. ethangunner

    me too i prefer black 🙂
    i liked the black with red stripes last season .
    (3rd choice kit ) or was that the season prior to that ..

    for me that has been my favorite kit over the past few years …

    i would actually wear something like that ..

  18. Evo in Oz

    that Bendtner highlight package is quite good, some good stuff of his in there that i had never seen before, i hope he takes Kanu Jnr’s spot this season and makes his own!

  19. iceman

    If barndoor to chavs has any truth to it we are on the way folks.
    Melo and a winger type forward without the need to sell anyone else, yes, Ebooooue included. He’s decent back up.Chamone!!!!

  20. gooner-pak

    hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa (alpachino, scent of women)
    Pakistan wins t20 world cup

  21. ethangunner

    ice i cant see it myself ..
    ade is so crap that i was sure any EPL club couldnt be interested in him ..

    well not a for a top dollar move anyhow ..
    surely the chev’s management see how often he is off side and how clumsy he is with his 1st touch .

    gee if he joined the chev’s they would never score again ! they only get like 3 chances a game 🙂

    and ade will screw the pooch on all 3 of them !

  22. dennisdamenace


    It’s so so good, ManUre supposedly have all that money, but can’t buy anyone! Benzema is DEFINITELY staying at Lyon for another year and Ribery is either going to Barca or Real Madrid and is NOT coming to the Premiership, and they can’t even agree the deal for Valencia from Wigan ha ha ha!!

    On top of which, there’s every possibility that they might have to hand that over that £80m to the banks, now that would be comedy!

    However, i did hear that they aren’t even getting the £80m up front, they will get it in £20m instalments, even funnier……

  23. dennisdamenace

    I actually had it on “loose” authority a few weeks back that Ancelotti’s No.1 target was indeed gonna ba Ade…… Maybe, just maybe there is something in this then???

  24. dennisdamenace

    It’s been a perfect morning, so far……..

    A large capuccino and two sausage rolls with HP sauce for brekkie, a post brekkie clearout of industrial proportions, and a hatrick in the old Onion Bag!!

  25. dennisdamenace

    Thank Christ for that, wotcha Geoff, i was starting to feel like Robinson fucking Crusoe this morning….

  26. Dan

    Yea I know, I’ve always been a bit wary of him. Quality player but I always thought he could stab u in the back at any moment

  27. Geoff

    Now he’s saying he’s very happy at Arsenal, but one day he would like to end his career at Zenit, Bergkamp said the same regarding Ajax once, I think he’s being miss-quoted by the Daily (we hate Arsenal) Mail.

  28. Dan

    Well it was apparently on zenit radio but yea you can’t believe any of them, anything to sell their rag of a paper

  29. dennisdamenace

    Fucking Dail Mail, i’d gladly burn those cunts, most if not all of their so-called football ‘writers’ are either Chav or Spudz supporters….