Theo could win us the league, inadvertently.

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He really could, I have been quite depressed about Theo’s dislocation and how it could ruin his career, I mean this is what, the third time? and he’s only 19, it doesn’t bode well does it?

So you may ask, how does that help us win the league, miracle cure? Homoeopathy? Acupuncture? No, a Wengerism is what could happen.

I think we could put Jackie boy or Ramsey in there or even Nasri and switch the other two over, but I could ‘as well’ see Wenger using this as the excuse he needs to buy the midfield player we all know we need and he can now do it without losing face.

He won’t be pressured into a signing because he’s so ‘silly stubborn’ but with Theo out for so long he can say he had no choice and go and get Alonso or Cana or someone good.

Either that or he’ll put Bitchslap in there and save our money! I have a sneaky suspicion though this could be it, so without Theo knowing, he could be the reason we win the league, he may even shock us all and buy an out and out winger from somewhere. There is probably a centre half somewhere that he can convert.

He may even buy Veloso so that when Theo’s back we have the mobile centre back we also desperately need.

I’m hoping he now realises that the treasured top 4 spot is seriously under threat and will act fast to shore up the side, and with December only a week or so away it’s not a long time until we reach the January sales, so maybe we should start speculating, or at least draw up a short list of talent we’d like to see at the Grove, we know he reads this blog so maybe a suggestion or two would not be a bad thing.

Of course Eboue plays there and Song probably does but with the injury to Sagna and the injury to Eboue that area is hopefully covered.

Good to see an Arsenal old boy scoring for England last night, another one we let get away eh? I rarely watch England anymore but when I knew Beckham wasn’t going to get yet another wasted cap I found a bar to watch it in, I hope that Capello remembers the players that mysteriously got injured and sees if they play for their clubs this weekend, and if they do says, that’s your lot son, you won’t be playing for me again.

Gutless wimps.

1,032 Responses to “Theo could win us the league, inadvertently.”

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  1. xeeez

    David! rvp being shite doesn’t mean Gallas comes out and says what he did! as far as i can remember TH14’s attitude wasn’t what we would expect from sucha great player..he was pissed off more often that not!

    GG..yea I think JD needs to be in the centre and if fit Eboue out wide..kolo is also having a calf injury for this weekend!

  2. xeeez

    yea Iceman thats the point..Exactly..I’m sick of Gallas’ antics..we can bear it once, twice but he doesn’t look like stopping

  3. iceman

    And think about the timing of his comments….we just lost last week…you’re the fu**in skipper….rally your troops for tomorrow…..not talk shit……..there’s probably only one thing on his mind…..i need to get the hell outta here…….well William……..the feeling’s fu**in mutual…………

  4. kelsey

    Just read all your comments lads and if it is rvp why is he being offered a new contract at 80k a week.The last thing we need at the moment is a battle of egos between the players,why is this happening because it is a bit like mcclaren with england that certain players have lost their respect for the captain and the boss.this is bad news all round.why does wenger allow all these stories to circulate yet the board keep our finances close to their chests.

  5. xeeez

    Well we are left with Sylvest at the moment although I would like to see kolo get a run with JD in the center due to his pace..

    Put gallas at RB tomorrow and kick him away when the passmaster is fit!

  6. iceman

    He might as well….we are quite short with the injuries/suspensions…..

    I doubt AW has the balls to drop Gallas though….. I hope he does…..Just can’t see it happening …….

  7. iceman

    You never hear other team captains slating their team mates in public….bar this guy…on more than one occasion….at the worst times……

  8. David

    i have a terrible feeling that he is going to play Denilson and Song in the midfield…and then Diaby out left with Nasri out wide right….

    Sry guys no Ramsey or Wilshere….and no creativity or vision for passes coming from midfield…expect another hard wetched game….

  9. xeeez

    yea he does it at the worst times, this is the point..Birmingham comes to mind, after spurs he opened his mouth..
    he did it to the chavs..btw I’ve never heard that story that he said “I’ll open it in public when the time is right”..he is a moron..he needs a manager like mourinho to keep him from opening his bloody mouth..

  10. iceman

    Trying to look on the bright side…..Denilson is sort of an attacking mid….a poor man’s Cesc if you will…if RvP and Ade start….we should be OK….hopefully City will wanna play “football”….up to now this season (touch wood/horse shoe etc) ….any team that has played “football” has been served up….so heres to another open attacking game………

  11. iceman

    David he’s not gonna take being stripped off the captaincy lightly….. he might even ask to leave if that happens…..

  12. David

    then the tosser should leave…

    No one player is above the manager…i think he is still worth 6-8 million…we can get a good CB adding the money we got now that Walcott is out..

  13. iceman

    I really hope the Van Buyten rumour has something to it……..he’s a beast of a defender…good in the air and all that………..

  14. xeeez

    David I don’t think anyone would pay 6 to 8 million for him..his contract is up in summer i think..he barks a lot..none of the big teams I know are looking for a defender..!
    Barca, Milan, Real, Inter, Bayern..Mayeb some french team can pick him up..but he has ‘ambitions’ u know..which arsenal can’t fulfill!

  15. rico01

    Morning All, so Gallas has fed the paps again as we knew yesterday, all this has gone too far, I say drop Gallas, teach the idiot a lesson.

    Either keeper, wouldnt mind Fab being given a chance

    Play JD and Silvestre at the back, bring in Hoyte at RB, and Clichy LB

    Midfield – Nasri Diaby Denilson Ramsey

    Ade & RvP

    Subs Merida, Randall, Vela Nik, keeper, LJ Coquelin/Bischoff

    Hoyte is real quick, and may just keep RunnerBeanio under wraps

  16. kenny smith

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/a/arsenal/7739830.stm

    this is bbc reporting on what gallas has said….. i really think some of our poor form is down to him not neccesarily that he is playing shit but because of his mouth…. Gallas wont be hear next season. There are rumours Wenger will strip him of the captaincy which i agree with cause he is doing us no good. But if wenger does do that then Gallas will demand a move in january…… he will probably threaten to score an own goal if he doesnt get his move lol

  17. rico01

    We never had all this negative stuff before Gallas, imho he is the ‘bad apple’ in our team, and he may just be the reason players are so down hearted

  18. kenny smith

    My predicted team for tomorrow,

    —-Almunia—–

    JD–Gallas–silvestre–clichy

    Nasri-denilson-song-diaby

    —-Ade—-RVP—

    My team i would play tomorrow.

    ——Almunia——-

    JD—Gallas–silvestre–clichy

    Ramsey-diaby-denilson-nasri

    —-Ade—-RVP

    I was going to put coquelin in there instead of denilson but i know fine well that aint going to happen so thats still a reasonably plausable team for wenger to play

  19. rico01

    Morning Seb – couldnt agree more, the beginning was the Birminham game, now surely this must be the end. I hate us losing, but would rather see all the team turn up and play their hearts out and lose, rather than a team full of ‘down hearted’ players under perform and get beat. We need our buzz back, that happiness on the players faces back. Maybe now is the time to give Cesc the armband, he would be a proud captain, and i think the other players would raise their game.. Anyone but Gallas, oh and Song of course πŸ˜‰

  20. kelsey

    Good Morning Rico and all,I agree what you say about Gallas.Another thing clichy is on 4 yellows to add o our woes.

    I would like to see changes against city,they are very much like us,attacking team but vunerable in defence.but knowing our manager he won’t be bold any will rely on the same players except RB will be interesting.and Ramsey might come in for cesc.

  21. rico01

    Maybe Geoff/Pedro could do a vote thingy this morning, asking us who would drop Gallas and take the armband from him – Got my vote πŸ™‚

  22. rico01

    Actually, I still have my boots somewhere, call me up Arsene, i could play Sweeper, but only if there is snow on the pitch πŸ™‚

  23. Seb

    it’s so obvious to me also, but some people thinkn it’s media spin, others think he’s right to call out what he sees.

    The point is, if Gallas was not a disruptive character, he wouldn’t have blabbed all this to the French media. The fact that he has – and many many times before – shows several things:

    – he cares more about his own image than the club, and wants to make clear that he is not a problem but others are
    – he has lost the respect of the dressing room, noone is listening to him there, so he has nowhere to go but the media
    – he is totally unaware that the reported unrest in the camp is quite probably down to the poisoned atmosphere his continued publicised comments is creating.

    What I want to know is, why doesn’t Gallas go to Wenger to report these problems instead of the media? Why doesn’t he ask for a clear-the-air meeting with the whole squad and the boss, like TA did in 1998? It’s fairly obvious that he is not interested in stimulating a change at the club, like a captain should, he just wants everything to fall into place for him so he can win things again and further the legend of Gallas.

  24. ebookreader

    At the moment Cesc is just not mature or vocal enough to lead the team. May be next season but for me IF Gallas looses the captaincy, Clichy should get it until the end of the season. Both Kolo & Almunia are just out of form and hence may loose their starting 11 position (Almunia anyway, Kolo already lost it)

  25. benno

    finally looking to the positives after a week of sheer depression and ignorance towards football, only 2 things got me out of it:

    1: I don’t believe we can possibly play any worse than against Villa
    2: We’re playing city

    Changes have to be rung, Ramsey should start, and i’d also look to giving Wilshere his 1st start in the Premiership. Djourou must play, and i would have gone with Kolo if he was fit, just because of his pace, but seeing as he’s out i’d go with Silvestre next to him, Gallas can just fuck off imo. Rb im just hoping Eboue is fit, if not Hoyte. Fabianski over Almunia for me, Almunia confidence is shot and in Fabianski we have someone who wuill actually come for crosses.

    My prefered line up is:

    Fabianski

    Eboue JD20 Silvestre Clichy

    Denilson Ramsey

    RVP Diaby Wilshere

    Adebayor

  26. rico01

    The last bit you wrote Seb, spot on, and thats what narks me big time, keep it in the club, dont feed those who already love to slate us – if i was Arsene, I would throw the book at him and tell him to find a new club in January!

  27. dennisdamenace

    Well if Wenger’s got any balls he’ll use this current ‘situation’ to discipline Gallas and remove the captaincy from him, an ideal opportunity to give the armband to someone more deserving, say Gilberto or Flamini or………….oh i forgot, more AW top qualideee management……

  28. Seb

    It does make you wonder, has Kolo been suffering playing next to that pompous jerk? It might go some way to explaining the dreadful performances of the central pair at times. Silvestre comes in, unaware of the opinion in the squad of Gallas, mates from the French team, they perform a lot better together, we all think it’s because Kolo is actually shit… but I must admit it’s got me thinking now…

  29. rico01

    Maybe Kolo would get his game back with the armband – maybe Gallas has cheesed him off too – nothing would surprise me about Gallas anymore

  30. dennisdamenace

    Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiico!

    How ya doing babelicious??

  31. benno

    Rico, yeh i wasnt sure if he was back or not, in that case we should turn to youth with Hoyte, who more than held his own against Palacios, Valencia and co at Wigan.

    Also went for Wilshere and Diaby over Nasri coz, Diaby is better defensively than Nasri, and Wilshere has shown when he plays that he’s not afraid to get stuck in.

  32. dennisdamenace

    I say give the armband to Toure, drop/rest Gallas (whatever) and play JD20 with Toure, wtf have we got to lose? Giving the armband to Kolo might just be the spart he needs to reignite his form………….c’mon you Gunners!

  33. rico01

    benno, agree, and i would have Merida, Bischoff, Coquelin on the bench, i just want Gallas to be ‘beamed up’ πŸ™‚

  34. Seb

    Sell Gallas to Lyon or something, he can win Ligue 1 ten years in a row and get all the respect in France that he wants. Plus he will be amongst other moody bastards so his strops won’t have as much effect!

  35. dennisdamenace

    Is he? Fecking typical.

    Mind you the problem with “resting” someone like Gallas is his continued disruptive influence.

    I know, how about a straight swap deal with Bayern for this Van Buyten character for Gallas, all those in favour say aye!!

  36. iceman

    Oh….my bad….didn’t know Kolo was out…..so who does that leave….

    Maybe it’ll be

    Clichy Song Silvestre JD20

    OR

    Clichy Gallas Silvestre JD20……….

  37. benno

    Iceman, Toure isn’t fit…. and even if he was he should be playing CB to deal with Robinhos pace, coz he’s the only CB we have, who has anywhere close to the pace Robinho has

  38. ethangunner

    why is everyone dumping on gallas ?
    fuck i think he delivered a very well timed kick in the pants of 1/2 of our under achieving over a
    achievers..

    at least he has some balls !(more so than wenger) it might be what you need to sort out half of these over paid delusional youths .

  39. dennisdamenace

    Maybe we (the supporters) could put a couple of quid in the pot each as a sweetner for Bayern to take the prima donna….

  40. ethangunner

    chary not me πŸ™‚
    i think gallas as captain has every right !
    we all complain that we never know the ins and outs of the club , and when we get some
    insider info everyone shoots the fuckin messenger !

  41. iceman

    Ethan I can’t believe you’re gonna side with him………

    What he did was wrong. Period. You don’t go bitching about your team mates to the media. No two ways about it.

  42. dennisdamenace

    ethan – there’s no doubting that we have a club full of under age, over paid prima donna’s, but Gallas is a woeful influence on the pitch and off of the pitch, who by his very actions doesn’t command respect, the one this all Captains should have. I am a fan of his, playing wise, but his character outstrips his performances all too often for me.

  43. Seb

    ethan, how is talking to the press aiming a kick at the team???

    Do it in fucking private! One to one! As a group! With the manager there!

    Not all over the fucking internet and papers!!

    That is the conduct of an egomaniac with ADHD, not a captain…

  44. Seb

    He did his best to name and shame one of his teammates – that is seriously underhanded behaviour, not worthy of any player let alone the CAPTAIN.

  45. Franchise

    Ethan I agree. We have complained of being too left in the dark. The guys has been unfairly picked on by the media and fans. He wasnt 100% professional with his approach but very much welcome. Just another anti-Arsenal gloom and doom circus.

  46. kingsley

    ethan, many of us have been saying the same things as gallas, however in my opinion he shouldnt have said it in the press. thats why he has let the club and us down.

  47. Seb

    Franchise how is it anti-Arsenal to highlight behaviour in the captain that is unprofessional and potentially damaging?

    If there is unrest, a) why is it there in the first place? b) why tell everyone else? c) do something yourself to sort it out during the week.

    Gallas wasn’t doing us a favour and keeping us informed about the team, he was trying to save face – dump on others and thereby big up yourself.

  48. Seb

    Why don’t our players have the desire to win Franchise? Could it possibly be because the captain is a total cock who has created division in the camp and no one is the slightest bit inclined to fight for him?

  49. dennisdamenace

    I agree that he has the desire and winning mentality, but it need to be channelled in the appropriate manner.

    As a team leader/manager i would not be professional bawling out a member of my team in fron of everyone else in the office, what does that do to the individual concerned, and the rest of the team’s moral. The professional thing to do is to take the offending pary(s) to one side and tell indiviually in no uncertain terms. What Gallas has done has undermined his own authority within the dressing room…….

  50. Franchise

    Bollocks Seb. Roy Keane fiery character he was. he came out on several occassions to criticize his teammates lack of desire and he was even backed by Sir Alex himself.

  51. Franchise

    Roy Keane has warned Manchester United’s youngsters to expect more tongue-lashings this season if they show any sign of letting their standards slip.

    “There are a lot of people, at this club and others, who like to wrap the young lads in cotton wool”, Keane told the official Manchester United magazine

    Keane famously launched a vicious verbal assault on some of the fledgling members of the Red Devils squad last season after claiming their attitude in training left plenty to be desired.

    His outburst shocked most of the Irish midfielder’s United team-mates, but not manager Sir Alex Ferguson, who backed his skipper’s blistering attack.

    Keane’s warnings were proved to be correct as the Old Trafford outfit meekly surrendered their Premiership title to Arsenal more than a month before the season drew to a close.

    With just five points from the opening four league matches of the current campaign, there is no clear sign that an improvement is imminent.

    If Keane feels the problem again lies with the more inexperienced members of United’s squad, their youth will not save them from their force of the Irishman’s temper.

  52. Rohan

    yea how do you think the rest of the team feels right now? the morale was low as it is and this has only served to lower it.
    I dont think it is rvp. either adebayor or nikki.

  53. Franchise

    My point is Gallas has a right to argue his case. They have questioned his leadership like its his sole duty to keep harmony in the camp. He was saying that what else do they expect him to do when certain players who have won ‘f*ck all’ in their careers cant listen to him.

  54. Seb

    The only time Keane named a teammate in criticism, which is what Gallas has virtually done, it was a matter of weeks before he was out of the club.

    i expect the same thing to happen with us.

  55. Franchise

    Guys morale low. We have too many feeble characters that is our problem. Chelsea lost their best manager Mourinho last season after a ‘poor’ start (Not as bad as we are experiencing at the moment). Did the team sulk? No. They said this and that in the press. Yet they came from 10 points behind us and eventually finished ahead of us. Why? Cos they are professionals with big characters.

  56. charybdis1966

    I’m not so sure where I fit in with the pro or anti Gallas factions. One thing I am sure of is the mankskummers loving media are loving this and will have probably highlighted one section of a long interview as a stick to beat us with; of course the rags and manunews(SSN) will love to show us as a club in crisis. It helps promote our competitors who are all – in teams of poor performance – oases of tranquillity compared to Arsenal who are tearing themselves apart, which is no more than they deserve, the rags/Hansen/MOTD etc will say.
    That aside Gallas seems to be one of the few players who hates loosing – was he the only one on the pitch who was livid about our shit performance as we came off the pitch against Villa? It seemed so to me.
    We can’t tell exactly what goes on behind closed doors but I get the feeling Robin is a devisive influence and quite likely to not respect the captain if he’s asked to show more commitment.
    The fact that Fergie backed Keano’s rants against underperforming kids compared with Wenger’s mollycoddling shows the differing motivational methods -I believe neither are perfect but we all know who’s had the better end product.

  57. Seb

    If we had John Terry as captain I would expect exactly the same thing. Our players are not shit, that is a fact, their confidence is on the floor. If you have a team of younger players, you don’t appoint a cunt as their representative, you appoint someone they can respect admire and want to emulate. Make a list of Arsenal players that could be a role model for young players, I guarantee you Gallas won’t be in that list. I would put Clichy and Cesc down though, they love the club and have the right attitude.

  58. Franchise

    That wasnt the only reason guys

    1. Gill refused to offer him a new deal
    2. United wanted Ballack to replace him
    3. He was injured (broken foot bone) at the time he made the criticism of his players on MUTV. It wasnt even broadcast. His career was on a decline and Utd wanted to get rid of him

  59. ethangunner

    Seb
    Franchise how is it anti-Arsenal to highlight behaviour in the captain that is unprofessional and potentially damaging?

    you cant get any more damaging than the performances on the pitch currently !
    id take a punt on it working and players getting there heads down and doing the hard yards .

    i think pointing fingers at certain players , telling they need to lift there game in the EPL , isnt anything we wouldnt expect him to say behind closed doors .. But gallas knows public pressure
    might see a change in the squad ..

    i dont think it can harm the team any further , putting a fox in the hen house might be whats needed …
    air your dirty laundry .. tell the fans what is going on with the club ! instead of us being treated like fucking mushrooms !
    dont you think we are better for the honesty ?

    i do !

  60. Seb

    anyway I’m pretty sure today’s post will back Gallas, simply because Geoff is also from the tell-it-how-it-is school of thought.

  61. iceman

    All I’m saying is Gallas’ intentions maybe right but they way he went about it is wrong…..

    Can’t wait to hear what AW has to say about this…….

  62. charybdis1966

    Seb, I don’t think it’s just confidence is low – the kids are in a comfort zone and only seem to play for the big games where they can put themselves in the shop window for their “dream omve to Barca/Milan/Madrid”.
    Gallas seems to be saying you have to prove yourself in the here and now – and that means not just against the mankskummers and Fener, but agianst the less loft oppostion like Hull, Fulham, Stoke and, ytes, even the Spuds..

  63. Seb

    I know he’s a cunt chary but he leads by example, gets his hands dirty, motivates his team, and doesn’t create an impression via the media that his team are falling apart.

    Gallas is a cretin, his comments – whether fully reported or not, he said those words otherwise AP wouldn’t publish them – are going to be lapped up by every other team we face this season, nothing motivates an opponent more than knowing that the team they are facing have problems. What a cunt, nice work William.

    by all means tear everyone a new arsehole at the training ground, fuck it lock them in a cupboard and beat seven shades of shit out of them, but don’t tell the rest of the Premier league that you’re doing it!!!

  64. ethangunner

    Franchise

    100% agree !
    and i know most fans want to know the reasons for our poor form !
    gallas is pointing it out .. fuck , everyone has to pay the highest royalties to see shit football currently .. and i know most of them lack consistency on the pitch , but to hi- light the problems
    isnt such a bad way to resolve the issues ! and get on with it !

    ok its a little like ratting on a fellow student in the play ground ..
    but if it stops you getting the shit kicked out of you (us) every week
    i consider it effective and instant !

  65. Seb

    this is NOT how to create a siege mentality – he has dropped the drawbridge and raised the portcullis, ‘come on in all you Premiership teams, we are weak spineless and defenceless, take as many points as you want!’

    Sort it out in-house – present a strong face to the public! Don’t reveal the chinks in your armour!!

  66. Seb

    ethan it won’t stop us getting shit kicked out of us – it’s an own goal of epic proportions.

    Mark Hughes is saying to his players this morning:

    “Our luck’s in boys – we thought we had problems, but look at THAT lot down south! I want you to twist the knife on Saturday!”

  67. charybdis1966

    Seb, I suspect Gallas has already tried to keep his exasperation with the underperformance of Arsene’s kindergarten on the training ground – he must have been thinking these things from Fulham onwards. Maybe having kept it in house, and seen our season slide further down the khazi, he feels he has no other option left but to make it public ?

    They didn’t learn from Fulham, or Hull, or Stoke, or the Spuds and maybe Villa was the last straw .

    There aren’t many other trophy winners in the squad.He hates loosing and maybe he feels ther kids won’t respond to anything else.

    Desperate times call for depserate measures.

  68. ethangunner

    chary

    Gallas seems to be saying you have to prove yourself in the here and now –

    not only that he is saying the small games are just as important tto do well in & be fucking consistent !

    i think it was a good plan of attack from the captain .. ok maybe he should of kept it in house , but
    if we are talking about the spuds game , and its still going on now .. how else can he get the spot light on the problem ? it obviously didnt go away ! so spill it !

  69. ethangunner

    yeah pedro me too !

    id rather know about the frailties at the club than wenger just sweeping it under the carpet ..
    fuck after all isnt that what most of us want ?? a bit of honesty ?

    its about time if you ask me ..

  70. Franchise

    Wenger’s style of management is suited to mature professionals not a circus of play station playing kids. They need to get out of their comfort zone. Van Persie is one of the senior players at Arsenal and he’s behaviour at Stoke is as immature as u would ever see. Song coming in against Tottenham smiling like a retard. Song refusing to listen to Toure against Stoke. Guys Gallas is pointing to the problems in the camp. MUTINY. A lot of these overpaid kids think they are better than they are actually are. That is the problem. Wenger has afforded them this luxury

  71. charybdis1966

    Seb – I think most teams already know about the chinks in our armour, there pretty obvious so I don’t think Gallas has revealed anything that’s not common knowledge.

    In an ideal world you can present a united, consistent front, but when you piss away points to teams you should be beating then you have to try something else.

    Ethan, I think Gallas’ hand has been forced by the succession of toilet performances, he’s probably painfully aware of how his ex-chav mateds are pissing themsleves at the moments and he want s the spoilt kids to buck their ideas up – and fast.

  72. ethangunner

    seb

    also it could work out that SAID players pull there finger out and know not too fuck with the captain in the future on all issues , and just DO what i say .. ! .. heads down , bums up !

    i suppose we will know tomorrow ! but dont stress out about it ..
    gallas – silvest , are doing a good job getting some sort of partnership together ..

    its all about changing these young players attitude . man shitty can focus on the negatives but i think we just need to get these gremlins out of the club and more forward .

  73. Franchise

    Seb u think teams dont know we are weak already. Tottenham at home is enough to give any team the initiative to have a pop at us. Loosing at Stoke and at home to Villa. Sidwell said U look at the big 4 and u think that we got a chance against Arsenal that is the club that spends 100 plus million on wages. Shameful

  74. Pascal Cygan

    Morning all…..I know I’m going out on a limb here, but how about Ramsey as captain. Ok he’s young but whenever he plays he commands presence and play builds around him…

  75. Pascal Cygan

    I have a feeling that Gallas has decided it’s time to move on… he probably aint gettin any kicks out of playing kindergarten cop.