Writing on the wall for 2? – Theo and Cesc at war – Kaka on the cheap?

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That’s how excited I was about this potential bore fest… I noted that Cesc was sporting a new hair cut with some super trim sidey’s… but not to be outdone… Theo has gone pure mutton chop! Seriously Theo, you actually look like you could pass for 15! Excellent news!

So the only shock regarding the line up was that Eboue managed to worm his way into the side! Arsene wont give up on him will he…


Toure Gallas Song Clichy

Eboue Cesc Denilson Walcott

RvP Nikki B

Does anyone think it’s over for Big Phil? Dropped, even for a reserve game and in place of a defensive midfielder. I think Liverpool was the final straw for Arsene and as much as I have defended Big Phil in the past… I think a move could do him good.

There were many goals, so I can’t really go through the whole game… Here are the key points.

The first goal came from Nikki B intercepting a bad pass from Issac Hayes (Stick to soul and South Park my friend), he laid it off to Robin… who slotted it back through to Nikki B who cooly finished. How many of you were waiting to see who would hug him? Well, you’ll be pleased to know everyone did! No surprise Theo was in the huddle… he’d hug anyone, he is such a brown noser.

Did you spot him at centre back?

Derby then managed to claw one back from a set piece. A cross was whipped in from the left, the keeper stayed rooted, song jumped feebly and Nikki B rose about 8 foot high but missed. How many times have I said before…


Oh well, you never felt a shock was on the cards. I did feel for the away fans though… the players looked distinctly uninterested.

Oh, Eboue tried a cross.

Next up, Clichy played a ball about 30 yards backwards to Kolo (I’ll admit I cursed his ball), then Kolo played a sublime chip into the path of RvP who held his line superbly (Take note Ade), took the ball down and rifled home in one slick motion. Great goal, Bergkampesque… but Grovers, there was a price to pay.

After 7 games uninjured, the footballing gods felt it was only fair that they take the boy wonder back… so they gave him a thigh strain. Do not curse the Gods, for they are just testing you (DeeOzGooner, you cursed him yesterday with your insistence on me removing him from Le List)…

Did I tell you Eboue, tried a shot?

So the second half started, and Adebayor came on. We started with a bit more purpose and pinged the ball about in 2nd gear fashion… it was embarrassing how poor Derby were.

Theo burst through the derby defence, held off a challenge, then cut it back to Eboue who tried his best to err… well I don’t know what he did, but he fell over and the ball sat up nicely next to Adebayor who slotted home! He looked mightily pleased with himself… Go Ade!

Then Clichy slotted a ball through and Eboue slid at it… ten minutes after it had whistled past him.

We carried on in much the same way as we normally do, squandering chance after chance… it was amazing how poor some of our finishing was, but we were never in any danger.

Then Derby broke football league rules by bringing on Earshaw, half man, half monster (If Ashley Cole interbred, his kids would all look like Earnshaw)… he unfairly used his monster powers to do what our talented players could not… have one chance… and score.

Some would call it world class finishing, some would say that most strikers only need one chance against Arsenal. The stupid dance was probably one of the most irritating things I have ever seen.

Stick to movies Mr Earnshaw…

Willy G, what the hell was up with that? You are supposed to be our best defender! You’d have never let a crap striker get past you like that at Chelsea. Could he be off if the captaincy shifts? He has been here 2 years, so surely he can buy out the last 2 years of his contract? Never say never…

Well we needn’t have worried, Bobby Pires picked up the ball, cut inside and rifled it into the top corner! GOALLLLLL! Theooooo, Theooooo, Theooooo! He really deserved that didn’t he? Blogger Geoff called me up especially to say that Theo played like Bobby tonight. The more I watch him, the more you realise half his problem is that he looks for the perfect pass all the time… if he’d just speed up his distribution he would be much more effective.

A special mention goes out to Nikki B, who I personally thought had a blinder. He was all over the park, his touch was superb and he loves to get everyone involved. I would be very sad to see him go this summer.

Goal 5, Clichy played Ade through… Ade belted home!

Queue the funniest thing I have seen all season… Ade and Eboue ripping the piss out of A-Lister Earnie’s annoying touchdown dance! How the hell did they do it in time so perfectly? It was Eboue’s best moment of the season! It was the funniest thing Ade has done since he last spoke in an interview! Classic.

Finally, Ade rounded off a solid nights performance by rounding the Derby keeper and slotting home!

Well played Arsenal… the least exciting 6-2 win in history, but who cares! Our goal difference is the second best in the league!

So in conclusion.

We need a 25 goal a season striker… oh wait, we have one! So what if he has scored 24% of his goals against Derby! We have Nikki B and Theo who look good prospects for next year. I don’t think we need bolstering up front, unless of course Arsene can find a decent thigh on the black market this summer… RvP’s has clearly had it.

Fabianski looked weak in goal, being nervous against Derby is like being nervous about taking a penalty with no one in goal… he’ll have to improve if he wants to give the ever reliable Almunia a run for his money next year.

The Midfield looks ok, we are short a decent winger… Eboue is a good dancer, but as a footballer he falls short in many areas.

I think if we need strengthening anywhere it is in defence. Will Big Phil go? Will Willy G go? Who knows… all we know as fans is that Gallas has been shown up a few times since his mental breakdown at Birmingham and Senderos is not going to cut it at the highest level.

Lets just hope the Flamster and Hlebinho sign up for another crack at the whip. We are more than likely going to finish the season 4 points off the top… it is not good enough, but its a marked improvement. If we win our last 2 we will be 15 points better off than last season… make a similar jump next year and we will be taking home some silverware…

So the season has been a disappointment, but at least we won’t be talking about the Spuds over taking us this summer… we are contenders again and hopefully Wenger realises where we need to strengthen this summer.

So here is my advice Arsene, bust out the cheque book Arsene and buy Kaka

“To get the books back in order it would be enough to sell Kaka for £55m.”


See you in the comments section!

328 Responses to “Writing on the wall for 2? – Theo and Cesc at war – Kaka on the cheap?”

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  1. DeeOzGooner

    yeh rikaards been bad…but probly has lost motivation…he did the double there and is probly looking to get paid the big bux elsewhere.

    so ethan/evo u guys keen on henry coming back?…im 50/50 on it…he will bring the thunder, but at the same time is it a backward step?

  2. Ethan_gooner

    Oh god … why dont i stop reading NOW ~!

    Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger has revealed that he will not be making many additions to his squad this summer.

    “We have only one player who is free,” Wenger told Setanta Sports. “Mathieu Flamini can decide where he wants to go.
    “We want him to stay, he wants to stay and we have made him an offer. It’s as simple as that.
    “All the other players cannot decide about their future. If a club wants to buy, they must call us and [they] will get the deserved answer.
    “[How many signings will I make?] Not many. Not many and we have a bit of money to spend but not as much as people think.

  3. DeeOzGooner

    a typical tight-arse wenger statement…cant beleive the flam thing is still going on, we shud know by now what his status is!!

    …gona be a long dissapointing break guys

  4. Ethan_gooner

    so the Dimitriov signing is fake so far yes?

    150% fake .. arsenalgunz made the story up ..
    some dickhead does it every year ..

    goto young gunz com as has pedro and the gang if you want the scoop evo ..

  5. Ethan_gooner

    dee oZ the end of the month has come and gone .. its 5 am in the UK now .. may 1st
    flamini needed to sign yesterday if you remember …

    the wenger deadline or F- day as pedro calls it 🙂

    no news on arsenal.com so i presume the italiano press isnt talking bollocks ..
    AC or bust ..

  6. Ethan_gooner

    oh shit my computer is one day ahead …
    ok well hes got 12 more hours or so …

    but either way .. im sure if it was happening it would have happened already !

  7. Evo in OZ

    i wouldnt say no to henry coming back as he could be bergkamp when he was riding out his career…just playing selective games when he was available and scoring goals when needed. like a back up striker….

    Even Tony adams stuggled to qualify for the 10 games needed in his last season to lift the trophy, but it was better to have him on our list rather than not!

  8. DeeOzGooner

    still praying for a last min turn around from the flamsta

    as for henry…yeh see your point, he cud definately fill that role…as long as his ego gets left in spain. we can only take him back if he’s willing to let the team continue in being built around cesc…

  9. Evo in OZ

    yeah i reckon a lot of water would have gone under the bridge this season will most of our team being interviewed in the press and stating how different things were after his departure, so im sure he would have read that and took it on board!

    He loves Arsenal, i bet he is ruing leaving now!

  10. Hughsie

    Maybe when he’s 33, losing it physically and willing to defer to the good of the team, take a significant role in the youth development and take a big paycut then it would be good to consider but it’d be a step backwards rather than a step forward to take Henry back.

  11. AFC53

    Lets be honest we are not far behind the Mancs and Chelski and with the right tweaks we could push on further next year,

    The only thing what bugs the be jesus out of me is:

    Why does Eboue keep getting in the team?
    Why does Gallas think he is worth a place in the team?
    Will Flamini just take it or leave it?
    Did Hleb really go out for a ice cream cos i heard it was a choc ice!
    Does Fabianksi really play rush goalie for Poland?

    These issues need sorting sooner rather than later cos im sick of them all

  12. Evo in OZ

    My questions are:

    Do Eboue, Kanu Jnr and Song practice their dances?
    Does Fabianski put his hair on and off like a lego man each day?
    When will Crouch do the robot dance again?
    How much longer do i need to practice my Manuel Almunia spanish accent for before i have perfected it?
    Why does Tevez have all those slash marks on his neck? Was it a failed neck extension gone wrong?

  13. Big Raddy


    A long time, Aussies are total rubbish at accents.
    Head Transplant. Half man, half fish

  14. Geoff

    I think today is F-day Evo, end of April he said, I also think we’ll strengthen, todays post will answer all the questions I think!

    Hleb will stay so it only leaves the Flamster, he will stay but I’d take Barry in his place.

    There you go, no need to read todays post now!

  15. Evo in OZ

    i would so love to be a fly on Flaminis wall. what the hell could be going through his head?

    he agent is obviously an ass! just sign, if its 5000 quid here and there, then thats rubbish, we made him, not he made us! This is the same as Edu, however flamini’s potential looks to be more!

    Thanks for answering my questions lads! cheers!

  16. Ethan_gooner

    and ill add….

    is wenger MR Beans body double ?
    Can ade shoot without dreadlocks?
    can eboue shoot at all ???
    Does RVP like hospital food?
    Does Hleb really like ice cream?
    Will gallas cry before the season is over ?
    Will we ever see senderos again ???

  17. Ethan_gooner

    Evo ,

    who would you rather play gimp too cesc or kaka ??
    more money … 1 off fee in the millions ..

    wouldnt need to play the lottery for it either!!

  18. Big Raddy

    Come on Evo. If you had the opportunity to earn an extra 25% of your salary. Move to a beautiful warm country, where you had relatives (and you can speak the language). And you are only 23 y.o. Plus the level of football is as good. You would go.

    Flam isn’t a Gooner, he may love the club, but he isn’t a ‘fan’ (unlike TH14).

    That said, IF the board stumps up the money, I would be delighted for him to stay. Imagine if he improves next season as he has this.

  19. Evo in OZ

    Oh yeah fair enough i agree, if they offer shitloads more, then he’ll be off, and a sign on fee he wont get with us… so yeah syanora!

  20. GMR

    Sorry but the football in Italy isn’t anywhere near the level of the premier league now. As proved by Arsenal, Liverpool & Man Utd who all knocked out Italian clubs, even Fiorentina were lucky to beat Everton.

    It may be a nice country but they also get bad weather, he’ll be playing in a corrupt game for a team that is only interested in winning the CL but don’t care about their own championship (which shows how much importance that has).

    So if earning an extra million (which may sound a lot to the average person but is nothing to a muti millionaire footballer) is more important than good luch & good riddance!!

  21. Ethan_gooner

    hey raddy
    your not a closet ade fan are you ? 🙂
    sure ive said that flamini will leave since november ! just ask pat 🙂
    if i was in his shoes id do the same ….

    well maybe not because i love arsenal ! but you know what i mean …
    not only the above that you mentioned , but arsenal refused to sign an extension
    at the start of the year .. wenger sort of saying you wont EVER be any good
    other than back up for the 1st team .. lack of wage incentives .. why would you stay ?

    it would have never got this over complicated if the boy loved arsenal !

  22. Mo

    i dont like ur constant knocking of eboue but other than that i found the post quite hilarious!

    imagine we bought kaka, paired him with cesc & let them do what they want!!!!
    everyone else can defend! heck even if u stuck a cow upfront we’ll win everything next season!hahaha
    just a thought! 😛

  23. AFC53

    I have to add is it me or has anyone else noticed that Senderos and Kryton from red dwarf look like they were seperated at birth!!!