That’s how excited I was about this potential bore fest… I noted that Cesc was sporting a new hair cut with some super trim sidey’s… but not to be outdone… Theo has gone pure mutton chop! Seriously Theo, you actually look like you could pass for 15! Excellent news!
So the only shock regarding the line up was that Eboue managed to worm his way into the side! Arsene wont give up on him will he…
Toure Gallas Song Clichy
Eboue Cesc Denilson Walcott
RvP Nikki B
Does anyone think it’s over for Big Phil? Dropped, even for a reserve game and in place of a defensive midfielder. I think Liverpool was the final straw for Arsene and as much as I have defended Big Phil in the past… I think a move could do him good.
There were many goals, so I can’t really go through the whole game… Here are the key points.
The first goal came from Nikki B intercepting a bad pass from Issac Hayes (Stick to soul and South Park my friend), he laid it off to Robin… who slotted it back through to Nikki B who cooly finished. How many of you were waiting to see who would hug him? Well, you’ll be pleased to know everyone did! No surprise Theo was in the huddle… he’d hug anyone, he is such a brown noser.
Derby then managed to claw one back from a set piece. A cross was whipped in from the left, the keeper stayed rooted, song jumped feebly and Nikki B rose about 8 foot high but missed. How many times have I said before…
‘DON’T LET NIKKI B DEFEND SET PIECES!‘
Oh well, you never felt a shock was on the cards. I did feel for the away fans though… the players looked distinctly uninterested.
Oh, Eboue tried a cross.
Next up, Clichy played a ball about 30 yards backwards to Kolo (I’ll admit I cursed his ball), then Kolo played a sublime chip into the path of RvP who held his line superbly (Take note Ade), took the ball down and rifled home in one slick motion. Great goal, Bergkampesque… but Grovers, there was a price to pay.
After 7 games uninjured, the footballing gods felt it was only fair that they take the boy wonder back… so they gave him a thigh strain. Do not curse the Gods, for they are just testing you (DeeOzGooner, you cursed him yesterday with your insistence on me removing him from Le List)…
Did I tell you Eboue, tried a shot?
So the second half started, and Adebayor came on. We started with a bit more purpose and pinged the ball about in 2nd gear fashion… it was embarrassing how poor Derby were.
Theo burst through the derby defence, held off a challenge, then cut it back to Eboue who tried his best to err… well I don’t know what he did, but he fell over and the ball sat up nicely next to Adebayor who slotted home! He looked mightily pleased with himself… Go Ade!
Then Clichy slotted a ball through and Eboue slid at it… ten minutes after it had whistled past him.
We carried on in much the same way as we normally do, squandering chance after chance… it was amazing how poor some of our finishing was, but we were never in any danger.
Then Derby broke football league rules by bringing on Earshaw, half man, half monster (If Ashley Cole interbred, his kids would all look like Earnshaw)… he unfairly used his monster powers to do what our talented players could not… have one chance… and score.
Some would call it world class finishing, some would say that most strikers only need one chance against Arsenal. The stupid dance was probably one of the most irritating things I have ever seen.
Stick to movies Mr Earnshaw…
Willy G, what the hell was up with that? You are supposed to be our best defender! You’d have never let a crap striker get past you like that at Chelsea. Could he be off if the captaincy shifts? He has been here 2 years, so surely he can buy out the last 2 years of his contract? Never say never…
Well we needn’t have worried, Bobby Pires picked up the ball, cut inside and rifled it into the top corner! GOALLLLLL! Theooooo, Theooooo, Theooooo! He really deserved that didn’t he? Blogger Geoff called me up especially to say that Theo played like Bobby tonight. The more I watch him, the more you realise half his problem is that he looks for the perfect pass all the time… if he’d just speed up his distribution he would be much more effective.
A special mention goes out to Nikki B, who I personally thought had a blinder. He was all over the park, his touch was superb and he loves to get everyone involved. I would be very sad to see him go this summer.
Goal 5, Clichy played Ade through… Ade belted home!
Queue the funniest thing I have seen all season… Ade and Eboue ripping the piss out of A-Lister Earnie’s annoying touchdown dance! How the hell did they do it in time so perfectly? It was Eboue’s best moment of the season! It was the funniest thing Ade has done since he last spoke in an interview! Classic.
Finally, Ade rounded off a solid nights performance by rounding the Derby keeper and slotting home!
Well played Arsenal… the least exciting 6-2 win in history, but who cares! Our goal difference is the second best in the league!
So in conclusion.
We need a 25 goal a season striker… oh wait, we have one! So what if he has scored 24% of his goals against Derby! We have Nikki B and Theo who look good prospects for next year. I don’t think we need bolstering up front, unless of course Arsene can find a decent thigh on the black market this summer… RvP’s has clearly had it.
Fabianski looked weak in goal, being nervous against Derby is like being nervous about taking a penalty with no one in goal… he’ll have to improve if he wants to give the ever reliable Almunia a run for his money next year.
The Midfield looks ok, we are short a decent winger… Eboue is a good dancer, but as a footballer he falls short in many areas.
I think if we need strengthening anywhere it is in defence. Will Big Phil go? Will Willy G go? Who knows… all we know as fans is that Gallas has been shown up a few times since his mental breakdown at Birmingham and Senderos is not going to cut it at the highest level.
Lets just hope the Flamster and Hlebinho sign up for another crack at the whip. We are more than likely going to finish the season 4 points off the top… it is not good enough, but its a marked improvement. If we win our last 2 we will be 15 points better off than last season… make a similar jump next year and we will be taking home some silverware…
So the season has been a disappointment, but at least we won’t be talking about the Spuds over taking us this summer… we are contenders again and hopefully Wenger realises where we need to strengthen this summer.
So here is my advice Arsene, bust out the cheque book Arsene and buy Kaka…
“To get the books back in order it would be enough to sell Kaka for £55m.”
See you in the comments section!