Wenger Budget announced – Ex Stars wax – Spending Money = Success

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Another no news day today, Wenger confirming what we were saying yesterday, and early doors too, I guess it’s a vote of confidence in his team, but boring either way, I said my piece yesterday, which was a whole day before the boss confirmed it. ‘I’m not buying anyone’

That will be interesting because by the summer I expect we will lose Lehmann and Gilberto with Diarra already gone and Eduardo out for a year and given that we are already short that will only mean more kids stepping up.

We will have Vela, but pinning our hopes on a young untested kid is unfair on him and unfair on us.

Pires and Vieira are both praising us as a team and Vieira referred to Arsenal as we, which is nice, but it really shows they wished they were here, are you reading Flamini?

Chelsea stuffed Derby and are right behind us now, so we need to start winning or we’ll end up 3rd. It’s funny, yesterday someone said you don’t win trophies buy buying big name players, no one told the Chavs or the Mancs that did they?

The good news was seeing ‘one day’ Ramos and his shower of shit go out of the European Worthington cup, ha, fucking ha and good riddance and a big thank you to Jenas for missing his spot kick.

Everton also went out, but I didn’t laugh as much, I did laugh though.

The random rant is dead so make sure you check out our new feature.

e-mail funnies

Pedro is determined to make this page work, so he’ll appreciate your contributions!

We’ll find out our European fate tomorrow, I’ll take anyone but I hope we avoid an English team.

We need to beat Middlesbrough by a big score as goal difference may play a role and we are lagging.

86 Responses to “Wenger Budget announced – Ex Stars wax – Spending Money = Success”

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  1. chris

    yeah big raddy and by a good score line i feel as well, the team will be very hungry for goals, theo ade and nikki will be out to prove who should partner rvp, assuming theo plays but i hope so,
    great results last nite and ammused me no end,
    good shout yesterday geoff, only to be confirmed by le boss!

  2. Steve

    I’m a little tired today.

    Found myself keep waking up laughing uncontrolably last night.

    How funny was that?

    PRICELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. Geoff

    Thanks Chris, I try! make you right with the laughter bit Steve it really was funny, we will have to start motoring though, we know the Mancs will roll over Bolton.

  4. Steve

    Tottenham’s official end of season DVD is out today. It’s normally available in the 1st week of January but due to abnormal circumstances they had to delay the release this year. A club spokesman said “we don’t envisage the problem occuring again”.

  5. Pedro

    I didn’t think the keeper had a chance on the last penalty!

    Then for Chimbonda to hit a penalty like he’d never struck a ball in his life! Fucking funny…

    Poor old spuds!

    No pocket money to spend in the summer! What a shame, I hope he has got some worldclass talent coming through because my summers are getting boring internet wise!

    I think we’ll smash Boro’, they are due a spanking…

  6. Steve

    I’m not going to worry about it today Geoff, just enjoying Splurtz misfortune. I have a big lunch today with a couple of work associates, one is a Gooner and one a dustbin lid. Best thing of all is that the Y** is paying.

    Fuck i’m excited.

  7. Big Raddy

    For an unknown reason I hate ‘Boro. Could be due to the ‘Robson’ years. Or maybe because the town is such a shithole.

    My fave moment against Boro, was when King Kanu, did that jumping back flick to score in our 6-1 (?) victory at the Stadium of Shite

  8. ac

    any win on saturday would do after all they played villa of the pitch in villa park last night. never mind goal diff we need to win so we go into the following weekend in touching distance .
    utd and chelski have some tough games left too.
    we should aim to be there or there abouts after we play utd on 12th april we then have reading(h) derby(a) everton(h) sunderland(a) that is not a bad run in while utd and chelski play each other and utd have to go to blackburn and the wigan cowpat while chelski go to everton and before that they play spurs away. so if we can get to 6pm on the 12th of april in touching distance we have a great chance and dont forget the champions league will be in full swing so resting players wont be an option away to blackburn/everton etc.. so lots of twists to come. we just need to win on sunday period!!

  9. Mike (the neighbour)

    Heres one for you to tell over lunch Steve

    At the end of the tax year, the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit
    the books of a synagogue. While he was checking the books he turned to the
    Rabbi and said, “I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the
    candle drippings?”
    “Good question,” noted the Rabbi. “We save them up and send them back
    to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of
    candles.”
    “Oh,” replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual
    Question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way,
    “What about all these biscuit purchases What do you do with the crumbs?”
    “Ah, yes”, replied the Rabbi, realizing that the inspector was trying to
    trap him with an unanswerable question. “We collect them and send them
    back to the manufacturers, and ever y now and then they send a free box of
    holy biscuits.”
    “I see!” replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he
    Could fluster the know-it-all Rabbi.
    “Well, Rabbi,” he went on, “What do you do with all the leftover
    Foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?”
    “Here, too, we do not waste,” answered the Rabbi. “We save up all the
    foreskins and send them to the Tax Office, and once a year they send us
    a complete dick.”

  10. chris

    Ramos had put together the perfect team for the Spurs. The only thing missing was a good striker. He had scouted all the non league sides and even the European Leagues, but he couldn’t find a striker who could ensure a UEFA cup victory.

    Then one night, while watching CNN, he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan. In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim soldier with a truly incredible kick. He kicked a hand-grenade straight into a window from 80 yards away. Then he kicked another from 50 yards down a chimney, and then hit a passing car going 80 miles per hour. I’ve got to get this guy!” Ramos said to himself. “He has a serious talent!”

    So, he brings the young Afghan to England and teaches him the beautiful game ……. and sure enough Spurs go on to win the UEFA cup!
    The young Afghan is hailed as a hero of football, and when Ramos asks him what he wants, all the young man wants to do is call his mother. “Mom,” he says into the phone, “I just won the UEFA cup!” ,

    “I don’t want to talk to you,” the old Muslim woman says. “You deserted us. You are not my son.

    “Mother, I don’t think you understand,” pleads the son, “I’ve just won the greatest sporting event in the world!”

    “No! let me tell you,” his mother retorts. “At this very moment there are gunshots all around us. The neighbourhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn’t get raped!” The old lady pauses then tearfully says, ” I will never forgive you for making us move to White Heart Lane!

  11. Odub

    Liking the new feature! Kind of topical seeing as I’m still laughing after seeing the spuds fucked up last night! Have been smiling since I got my newspaper!! ha ha!!

    Mike, I’m tempted to send that joke to the audtiors i’ve got in this morning! They probably won’t appreciate it!! Cracking!

  12. Pedro

    Hey guys, if you’re going to tell Spud jokes (Or just jokes) I want them cut and pasted into the e-mail funnies section!

    Tis the blog of humour today!

  13. Pedro

    Hey everyone… Chris papped Martin Jol… check out the e-mail funnies, the pic is hilarious!

    Well played Chris!

  14. chris

    have u noticed u can only copy comments that are beside a widget after steves message at 10.23 u cant copy, that is stange

  15. Louis

    Hello people!

    I think Wengers interview was purely motivational, because he clearly cannot enter another season as understaffed as he did so this year.

    I would also wager some money on us losing at least 2 key players after the Euro’s, then you must allow for the customary dip in form of a couple of the players who have lost out (Remember Bergy after he missed that Peno in 98?).

    He is a fool if he doesn’t strengthen. Gilberto certainly needs replacing unless Diaby suddenly learns to play football? Or we have some unknown kiddy waiting in the wings.

    Vela will take 7 months to adapt and remember that Reyes looked a million dollars before he moved over here, remember when he tore madrid apart (See the similarities?).

    Rosicky needs replacing becuase the lad is more injury prone than a 49 year old Darren Anderton and I think Hoyte will be moved on.

    I would also love to see Eboue move as well, because that guy is hopeless. He is back on Saturday right?

    Like the new section, judging by that picture it was Jol who was responsible for Lasagne gate!

  16. chris

    everyone is off looking through outlook for past funnies, pedro you killed the blog!
    yeah steve good thinking!

  17. Mike (the neighbour)

    looks like its gonna be a quiet day with Odub running around after auditors and Steve having a free lunch (no such thing as a free lunch )so hope youve been circumcised mate .Off for another lesson with the bear (or is it beer) Major lessons last time were –
    *Let geoff deal with disruptive old ladies
    *If you see a loose small dog on the course Try and drop kick it into the rough
    *Never pick geoffs ball up by mistake -that look makes the Gallas stare look like a frank spencer smile
    *Never worry about the amount of beer you drink cos in Spain -it aint a darling taxed pint or a Big Raddy 6 pounder
    *Never use a pink tee even if you do find it on the mens tee box

  18. Gunnersaurus

    So I just read about poor Thierry “£140k” Henry.

    What a fucking whinger!

    You left your wife beacuse you liked fucking about, you moved to spain – and now you are bitching you don’t get to see your daughter?

    Deal with it Terry. You should have stayed at Arsenal, then you wouldn’t be in this mess.

    If we get one good thing out of all this it will be that Ade will think about moving twice.

    Yeah never understood this whole money doesn’t buy you success or happiness – it does both!

    When was the last time a team with no money won the Champions league (Porto spend big in Portugal)? When was the last time a team won the league through purely organic means?

    It just doesn’t happen anymore.

    We’ll do Boro’ no problem!

    Its dead on here today? Early lunch on a Friday boys?

  19. Odub

    Fucking auditors!
    Was in a good mood until they fucking turned up! Thankfully they’re done with me now!

    By the looks of it, everyone’s fucked off on here as well!

  20. Odub

    ok. might just google spuds jokes and see what comes up!! Just to keep us all amused!!!

    Fancy a riproaring end to the week, hope we get a topic to get the cuntometer soaring’ like say ”spuds are Eurotrashed, happy st totteringham day!”

    Works for me!!!

  21. Steve

    I’m still here, going out late today. Doubt i’ll return though.

    Getting cunted on a Y**’s expenses the day after they go out of europe.

    You just couldn’t write it.

  22. Pedro

    Yeah not to busy today! It was a monster day yesterday though!

    I was just sifting through the budget… they have set money aside to toll roads, did you see that? Tracking your car everywhere you go and taxing you accordingly… so we pay tax on paid for roads? Fucking marvellous! Imagine what would happen to the economy if we all canned our cars in? They’d be fucked!

    Off politics!

    Onto football, there is fuck all going on in the newsfeeds? Its a but difficult to make conversation when we have no summer hopes to talk about, we have boro and no team news and we are pretty sure the flamster is signing!

    The new page is building up quite nicely, its already a bigger success than the other two pages combined!

    Think about how smug your going to be if we are champions of europe or we win the league!

    You can go on holiday and know you are the best!

    I tell you, as much as it pains me to say it, Berbatov is a player and a half, what a finish yesterday! He’d be deadly in a good team.

  23. Steve

    Still a lazy cunt though Pedro.

    I wouldn’t want him. He looks like a fucking Jessie in that silly Alice Band.

  24. Odub

    Torres and Barbytov have that uncanny conchalant finishing ability some strikers posses, which RVP displays from time to time, but Ade seems to lack most of the time!

    Another striker who lacks it is Ibrahimovic, fuck me did he look abolutely dire against the scousers on tueday!!

  25. Steve

    That big nosed cunt refused a trial at Arsenal.

    “Zlatan doesn’t do trials”

    Fuck off then you bugle faced cunt.

  26. Odub

    yeah remember AW was intrested in him when he was at ajax. Never rated him. Inter have got some shit and old players haven’t they?! How the fuck are they walking away with serie a?!!

  27. Pedro

    I just read this:

    Kentucky Rep. Tim Couch has filed a bill aimed at making anonymous commenting on Web sites illegal.
    “The bill would require anyone who contributes to a website to register their real name, address and e-mail address with that site,” according to press reports. “Their full name would be used anytime a comment is posted.”

    A Web site owner would have to pay a fine if someone posted anonymously on their site, if the bill were to become law. A first-offense fine would be five-hundred dollars. The Web site owner would have to pay one-thousand dollars for each offense after that.

    Couch said he hopes to cut down online bullying.

    Le Grove is going to be in a lot of trouble… so lay off Ray gooner chaps! haha!

  28. Steve

    I’m gutted. I really looked forward to him giving me stats on the size of Adebayor’s cock.

    Oh well.

    I’m off to get twatted chaps and indulge in 4 hours of Spud baiting. Happy blogging.

  29. Phobia

    Almunia
    Sagna-Toure-Gallas-Clichy
    Eboue-Flamini-Fabregas-Hleb
    Adebayor-Van Persie
    Subs:Lehmann-Bendtner-Senderos-Denilson-Walcott
    Arsenal 2-Boro 0

  30. Odub

    A bit conservative for you phobia!!! I’m going with 4-0 too chris,

    BTW

    LE BOSSES, WHEN IS THE NEXT LE GROVE PISS UP?!!!!

  31. Odub

    looking forward to that and all!
    problem with that is the missus will be on the trip, and I can see her having to drive to and from la manga due to the amount of alcohol that’s likely to be consumed by moi!!!!

  32. Pedro

    haha! Pass on the designated driver duties odub!

    I’m not sure when the next piss up should be? We have to get a sunday late kick off piss up organised?

    Everyone is feeling a high scoring sunday game apart from me!

    I am feeling another draw…

  33. chris

    no no no pedro,

    that is not possible, we will win and by a nice margin, that is a fact, ill put my balls on the line for that one,
    imagine what rvp is thinkin now, ade has said he wants the golden boots and had a nice dig at the mid fielder bitting at his heals, he will do a number this weekend, confidence buddy it has to happen,

  34. YangKamp10

    Afternoon Lads! (any ladettes?)
    Good work on the funnies on this slow gooner news day. Looking forward to le match saturday, can see a goal rout too. But I’m quite conservative on these matters. 3-0 with a RVP comback goal.
    I think we will spend in the summer. Nothing too extravagant, but certainly to replace Gilberto, Lehamann and maybe even Hoyte.
    M.Richards is staying put for now so that move is on ice for the minute…Think we will be light up front without Eddie, so maybe a new forward too.
    The reason i think we will spend is that our Carling cup/FA cup side came up short this season and i think the Boss may be concerned with strength in depth. I know i am!

  35. Pedro

    I believe I have unearthed a contradiction… thats how slow it is today!

    “I just want to prove I can score more goals and, if I can win the Golden Boot, there will be nothing better.”

    Didn’t he say last week he didn’t care about goals?

    Whatever, if he gets 30 i’ll be pleased!

    I think Micah ruled himself out of an arsenal switch when he threezed up on a bird in a toilet!

    I agree yangkamp, he’s going to sign players, he’s just motivating the boys!

    I read arsenal wont break the bank for the Flamsters… they are fools if that’s the case.

  36. chris

    Manager Arsene Wenger has also been boosted by the news the combative Flamini, who is out of contract in the summer, has agreed to put pen to paper on a new deal within the next fortnight – as reported in last week’s Ham&High.

    how reliable is the above?

  37. Odub

    Ok, i thought my joke was funny enough, but Chris, Steve well done on taking it to the next level!!! Funny!!

    Pedro your new creation is proving to be a winner mate!

  38. Pedro

    Its the local islington paper I think?

    The new page is looking good so far!

    Chris, I couldn’t post the Spud shootout vid… its not like you tube!

  39. jimmyfingers

    ahoy maties. Where’s stupid? Cheltenham’s on and I want some tips

    Reading that stuff from Paddy and Bobby made me feel nostalgic. Bobby in particular: how we could do with a free-scoring winger right now. Eboue can’t hit a barn door and Hleb seems to have lost his way a bit

  40. Odub

    JF, it’s gone to the dogs this weeks, some of the reliable regulars havent even bothered turning out! And what with Steve fucking off to get pissed for the rest of the afternoon, it’s worse than a wake on here today!

  41. chris

    ok pedro ill put it on youtube and mail you the link, but i thought there was an embedded bit that can be used?

  42. Odub

    Good goal by barbytov, but all to no avail!!! ha ha!!

    Uefa cup, youre having a laugh. Uefa cup, youre having a laugh.

  43. Odub

    considering what they treated the mancs to last time, it’ll be safer at the then new den! I maintain Schalke will do nicely!

  44. Odub

    something just tells me we’ll get one of the english or barca. I’d hate to get the scousers, benitez just has this way about him when it comes to Europe!

    Best draw for me would be

    Arsenal V Schalke/ Roma V Fernabache

    MancVChavs/Pool V Barca

    We get Barca in final and avenge the pain of 3 years ago, happy days!

  45. chris

    the footage is a bit biased but in our favor i think,
    barcelona going to cold moscow might suit us better odub, i hope you are right!

  46. Odub

    Mate I tend to try and forget our painful defeats!! same as I can’t remember what year we lost to Galatasaray or Liverpool in the FA cup when that cunt Owen scored twice!

  47. charybdis1966

    Those sort of defeats are like daggers through the heart. God, they hurt.

    Hoping for better on Saturday, will be in block 92 – first time I’ve not been at the south end since Dinamo Zagreb when I was 2 rows behind the oppos dug-out..

  48. Odub

    Still hurts when I think about any of them!

    charybdis1966 enjoy the game, went to the last 2 home games and we drew!!

    They want to make sure they get their fingers out and trounce Boro!!!

  49. charybdis1966

    We need a convincing win against the Smoggies as we’ll probably be second in the table at kick off.

    I went to the Blackburn game with my 2 boys – they loved it, they were close to where Andy bayor did his “sliding on his bum” goal celebration. Priceless.

  50. Big Raddy

    Like the new page.

    I am heading out to Italy for a couple of weeks R&R. So, don’t think I am jumping ship at the tough end of the season.

    Last time I went away the Arse were pants, and I have to lay the blame entirely upon the bloggers on this site (the Arsenal are above criticism !).

    So, be aware that in the event of an Arsecrash, I will come ‘looking for retribution’.

  51. Pedro

    I like it… Arsecrash… like a computer malfunction!

    I do seem to remember you laying the blame on Arsene last week Raddy?

    Enjoy Italy! If Spain is anything to go by, the Med countries are roasting… she moaned to me she had heat rash today, lucky bitch!

    I’m off to bust some serious iron.

    Till tomorrow Grovers!

  52. dan

    one thing to say in favor of the wenger transfer policy over the years and how every year we are bored as hell in the summer as we seem to buy no one and all our rivals and below splash out each year

    In the last 3 years of us buying no one we find oursleves with a brand new title chasing team with one or 2 invincibles remaining.

    Wenger is getting new players in jus not in a big show of hugh tranfer funds as the other teams

    i think he has proved his point and will always continue in this vein for the rest of his time at arsenal