Tchavski be the brew + full player ratings and match review

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As promised earlier, a match review from man in the back row, Bud!

Gents (& Ladies of course), what can one say about yesterdays game that Prince Pedro of of Le-Grove hasn’t already said?

You may think that is a stupid statement as he hasn’t really said anything about the game, but that’s just it, it was all a bit training ground. In no way am I criticising Arsenals performance, it was clean, it was clinical, its just

Newcastle are… well… errrr… crap !!!!

Anyway, will come to the game shortly. First of all, I would like to ask how/why, Blogger Geoff, owner of Ferrari’s, Astons and his own Chopper, managed to emerge from an off-license last night with 5 cans of Tchavski 6.3% proof polish lager (at 73p a tinny), when he was going in for a packet of hamlets and something for the weekend??? Strangely it was quite nice, even if the name was hard to swallow; and most satisfying to piss down a toilet like Abramovich’s money, and clearly, together with the 3 pints at half time, Tchavski played its part in

Geoff’s spacial awareness issues!

Right, so here goes, I think all I can give you is an honest if somewhat drunken player rating on last nights game:

Almunia – Rumour has it that he got as high up as row V signing signatures during the 2nd half, such was his burning desire to do something yesterday………. One of his more comfortable evenings. 7

Sagna – As strange as this may sound, especially as he is my favourite player this year; whilst Sagna was faultless (again!), I thought young Hoyte was more penetrating on Saturday. 7

Clichy – He’s got Ashley’s position, now he wants his wife. Rumour has it also, that if France don’t pick him soon, he’s going to take English nationality and take Cuntley’s England spot too. Awesome as always. 8

Gallas – Well, he is the man. Captain Fantastic was (I know this is starting to sound boring, but as I say, it was an odd training game kind of spectacle) solid, had Owen in his pocket and generally had a trouble free evening. Good distribution, nice hair. 7

Senderos – Big Phil… well what can I say? 3 clean sheets on the trot. 9 for – 0 against and its all down to you buddy. Work on that distribution and other people apart from me and Pedro might start liking you again. Solid, comfortable and didn’t leave me with my stomach coming out of my mouth every time he had the ball. The tide is turning Big Man. 7

Diaby – Strangely looked better on the highlights that I watched this morning than he did last night, not that he looked bad, but just didn’t stand out for me. He did OK, but gonna give him a seven for a cracking shot with his left foot, which according to Le-Grove Optic stats was the first ever time he’s touched a ball with his left, so well deserved. 7

Fabregas – Still not back to his best, but that was still better than anything he was up against last night. It just seems that final ball he plays at the moment is just not getting through like it did at the beginning of the season. Good goal though, although, was it a slice? Fab, any chance you could post a comment to confirm this point? 7

Flamini – More Fabulous than Fabregas again last night. An overall impressive, energetic stand out performance and well deserving of the Le-Grove Man of the Match Bottle of Warnicks Advocaat. What about that cross for Ade’s goal, and what about that hum-dinger rocket of a goal! C’est Magnifique! 9

Hleb – Not really at the races last night. Was still better than anyone in black and white, but if I was writing his school report, I’d have to say, “Can do better”. Come on you little twisty turny sticky thing, we need King Alex back firing! 6

Eduardo – At some point, we are going to have to stop saying he is going to be one hell of a player when it clicks for him, but in the meantime, he is going to be one hell of a player when it clicks for him. Ran his little legs off and overall, put in a lot of work for the team. 7

Adebayor – Good goal AGAIN. And worked hard off the ball, which in the past had been a criticism aimed at him. At 11ft 7inches, the man is a giant and with each game he is growing. 8


Bendtner – Looked lively when he come on and a nice set up for Fabs goal. Also, went head to head again with Ade, but in celebration this time. 7

Gilberto – I thought he looked younger and more spritely last night when he came on, but Newcastle were shit, but I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt. 7

Walcott – Not on long enough to produce his dazzling array of skills and trickery. Oops sorry, wrong player! Seriously, made some great runs, but still as nervous as a Cashley on a Sunday morning! 6

Le Grove would like the thank Bud for that stellar review!

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Flamini staying, young winger signs till 2012 + John McCruick

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John McCruik I hear you say? This isn’t the racing post blog is it? Let me explain…

Blogger Geoff had the indignity of sitting in front of the loud mouth John McCruick. If any of you know Blogger Geoff, you’ll know that he wont accept anyone being more famous than himself.


Double chin… or hiding place of missing race horse Shergar?

Blogger Geoff, who once shoved Beckham into a wall for trying to barge him (Witnessed by myself), sat next to Posh spice in an airport and told her to ‘Shut the fuck up and sit somewhere else’ for being too noisy on her mobile and told Gary Lineker he would kick him out his golf buggy unless he owned up to being a Leicester Fan; was once again on top form.

Story goes… John Mac was piping up in the seat behind him, Geoff bided his time, bite his tongue if you will. He knew good things come to those who wait (He’s seen that Guinness advert a thousand times)… BANG… Ade nets! Geoff seizes his moment, he jumps up ready to dance in the fat mans face with a carefully choreographed childish celebration… however, Geoffs spacial awareness had suffered under the stench of the fat one, he had failed to realise the beast was leaning forward – thus resulting in an accidental clip to the forehead! Old John was furious but he had to accept the accident… what were the odds of that happening I wonder (Please… please… humour overload at my pun!)?

Bravo Geoff! Everyone in the UK thinks that guy is a cunt… you should be Knighted! What was he doing sitting in the Arsenal end anyway? Useless stewards, more interested in telling our own fans to sit down and stop singing…

If you hear that fat prat trapping off on GMTV / Talkshite today, remember how the story went…

Anyway, Big Phil managed to keep a clean sheet against Owen, Almunia made a fine save to keep our goal difference within touching distance of ManU and the Flamster managed to peach a 30 yard screamer into the top right hand corner to put the game beyond doubt!

Talking of the Flamster, Arsene had this to say,

“He wants to stay, and I want him to stay, so we will find an agreement. It’s a question of patience and good positive discussions. I am not especially concerned, because I believe what he tells me.”

Double flipping excellent if you ask me! Providing the Flamster isn’t a lying cunt bag…

Some excellent debating in the comments section yesterday! I felt like King Leonidas at one point, Battling the Persian Big Phil detractors with my blogging life, but then the cavalry arrived! I love Arsenal, you love Arsenal – fuck it… we all love Arsenal! So lets try and build on yesterdays positivity (Yeah I know…), like Arsenal build up the cash surplus! We should enjoy the position we are in, even if it is only for a day!!

We’re top of the league and on course for the treble, oh and wing man Diaby has signed a contract till 2012!

As I wasn’t at the game yesterday and blogger Geoff was being questioned by the horsey police, I have asked Bud (A long time commenter on Le Grove) to write the match report. It will be with you this afternoon, and I hope you enjoy it!

Happy Wednesday guys!

Say we are top of the league… you know the rest!

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Has Arsene taken biggest gamble of career to date?

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So yesterday saw a defining point in Arsenals season.

Arsene Wenger chose not to sign Jonathan Woodgate, instead deciding to place his faith in Big Phil.

Is this the biggest gamble of his career?

Well, can you think of a more important decision over the last ten years? Has the pressure ever been higher? Has the Title race ever been this close? Have the fans ever been so unanimous in thinking we need cover at centre back!

As fans we are craving Silverware like Ashley Cole craves blonde single Mums… Arsene knows this.

Arsene also knows he ‘could’ have snapped up a player who is not cup tied, experienced in the Champions League, English and talented and all for under £10 million. Instead, he has joined our rivals up the road leaving Big Phil to Marshall the back four for the rest of the month.

Don’t be fooled though guys, remember this is a player with huge injury problems (an average of 13 games a season), a penchant bashing people of alternate race and a player who failed to make the grade at Real Madrid.

Am I bovered? Of course not! This is the second big decision Arsene has had to make this transfer window. The first being whether or not to re-sign Anelka. Wenger decided not to, and so far the decision has been vindicated… Ade has been beating the shit of some poor cows backside with a banjo all season now!

We have allowed Arsene to guide our season so far and lets be honest, he is doing a grand job, so the only decent thing to do would be to let him proceed with ‘Project Kid ‘, and to back the team! Big Phil needs your support if he is going to get through this!

Next up in the cup be the Dirty Reds from Salford, just our luck! Should be a cracker though and it could have an impact on the title race (Eboue could damage Ronaldo, that would be unfortunate?). In injury news, King Kolo is not long term, Rosicky will be back soon and RvP starts training this morning! So all is rosy in the world of Arse!

So today, let the comments section be a forum of positivity and remember, to receive all your Arsenal silverware dreams this season, please e-mail the link to this blog to 5 people… and er, donate some cash!

Happy Tuesday, here’s to a 4-0 drubbing of the Toon!