‘Don’t worry loved ones, it’ll all be over soon,’ Arsene whispered as he rushed the children to the tornado shelter. The underprepared caretaker swiftly made his way out into the yard, sharply avoiding dangerous questions, dodging harsh realities, all whilst praying values would save the day.
Yes, this summer has been a disaster story for the records. The banter era of Arsene Wenger continues at a pace, but there maybe a sweet delicious apple pie waiting on the kitchen counter when he breaks out of the shelter to assess the damage. Will there be a house? No. But Liverpool could be the sweet taste of happiness our great leader needs to push him over the transfer deadline without needing to call the insurance company.
Tomorrow, we’re lucky enough to be seeing the return of the cavalry. Wantaway Alexis Sanchez is dusting off his size 9s as it now appears his dream of setting up with Neymar or Kyle Walker is as likely as Wenger unveiling Naby Keita and VVD as our summer surprise. Not just him, Laurent K is back in the game, hoping to add a touch of steel, class, and summer pie warmth to proceedings.
Both those timely boosts are going to be needed. Liverpool looked nothing short of sublime against Hoffenheim. They trounced the Germans, who to be honest, had performed miracles making it to that stage of the Champions League under exciting coach Julian Nagelsmann. The Scousers love to turn it on against us, so I’ve no doubt this is going to be an exciting game.
My prediction is this will either be the turning point in our season before the real turning point 3 weeks into October… or it’ll be the moment the Liverpool loving press declare Jurgen Klopp a title contender before they have their turning point 3 weeks into October.
I expect goals, I expect beautiful movement, I will be upset if there’s no terrible defending and at least one poor keeping mistake. It’s going to be fun and one of those adverts for the Premier League that has the purists complaining, and the rest of us enjoying the moment for the madness it’ll likely be.
Outside this moment of potential solace, it really is a mess.
Reports are mixed, but some are suggesting we’ve offered Ox £180k a week. Some are suggeting he’s pushing for £200k a week. A few things here.
1) I don’t dislike him for what he’s doing. Sure it feels greedy. But look, football careers are short, clubs are mental, you have to push for what you can get.
2) If he signs on for that money and his performances are anything short of world class he’ll have the fanbase on his back. There’s a reason we all have such disdain for Theo. His return would have him as more of a favourite if he was on less money, I think the bitter taste is the grapefruit rind barrell he’s had us over on money.
3) Chambo is simply not worth that money in the open market. He’s given us a few solid games as a wing back. But overall, he has questionable fitness, questionable application, and a lack of match winning games under his belt.
4) This offer, if real, is all about Wenger’s PR. It has nothing to do with Chambo’s talent. Wenger is desperate for a win, even if it’s at the expense of the long term health of the squad. If we’d have been smart, we’d have had 3 French players of equal talent lined up so we could move him on, and switch in a replacement for £60k a week. Or, just give the job to Reiss Nelson, who looks twice the player already.
We’re now entering a phase where anyone negotiating with Arsenal knows the manager is weak and on his knees. We are possibly heading into the season with 6 contract rebels. That will have a hugely damaging impact on team morale, and it’ll make next summer a disaster. My guess is those players could ask for whatever they want right now and land it.
The absolute disaster of this all is I worry the cash isn’t enough. The players that are good enough, could do better elsewhere. Wenger is such an unattractive proposition now, most would rather try their luck elsewhere.
Another player that might be off is Mustafi. The German, who I called out as a dud way early last year, might be moved on. Again, the banter of it all is our backline that needs three centre backs would consist of.
Then what? Are we saying Nacho and Elneney take it up to 6? Beyond carnage.
Our defence is weak. Our midfield is weak. Our attack is hardly gold star.
How did it come to this?
10 years of a declining great. That’s how.
See you in the comments.
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