Why I’m voting for the BNP / First signing imminent!

by & filed under Uncategorized.

Politics and football don’t really combine well… however, as politics is top of the agenda at the moment and we’re not far off a general election… I thought I’d invent a few parties and hold Le Groves first ever elections.

So, you’re going to have three parties to choose from… all with differing football ideologies and policies…

Here they are!

Continuity Party

  • Progress through project youth and the sustainable business model.
  • Paying off the stadium debt within 5 years.
  • Stability through continuity.

This party are all about long term thinking. Sustainability, promotion of youth and a highly profitable business. They have been pushing a slightly flawed model for a few years now… they’ve been overspending on underperforming talent and failing to invest in proven winners. Their spin doctors have managed to keep the party afloat over the last three years and the continued presence of Arsene Wenger has worked strongly in their favour… but the last 6 months has seen the faith diminish slightly. People are starting to question the parties policies, motives and some of the figures they’ve been quoting. .

The Continuity party have built an infrastructure that is delivering record profits and they’ve overseen a massive stadium project which should help the club secure the future. They believe the football bubble will burst and the club will benefit from their sound business model… others believe this is pie in the sky talk and if they don’t invest, someone else will take our top 4 space. Trophies aren’t top of the agenda… the brand of football and the culture of the club takes precedent.

The continuity party believe that in the current climate, there is no better party to lead the club…experience and prudence is the way forward.

BNP (Buy New Players)

Key Policies:

  • Blending youth with experience
  • Alignment throughout the club
  • Relaxation of stadium rules and introduction of singing section

This party have been out of power for the last few years, pretty much since David Dein left for pastures new. They’ve watched the opposition rake in huge amounts of money through stringent taxes on the hard working fan. They believe the incumbent party have been making empty promises for too long, and a revolution needs to take place.

They believe the manager needs to be granted the necessary funds to invest and if we have to take a risk on a top quality player… the BNP are willing to fund that. No more missing out on great players for the sake of a couple of million.

This party want to win the hearts and minds of the locals, but at the same time, they want to peacefully conquer foreign territories… they know the only way to achieve this is to have a wining team and they are willing to do all in their power to achieve this without lumbering the club with unmanageable debt.

The BNP want to work for the fans, bring back the good times and ensure that if silverware isn’t won, they’ve given it a bloody good go!

Uspend

  • An injection of substantial cash to fund lavish transfers.
  • To make Arsenal the worlds leading club within 2 years.
  • Trophies at all costs.

Uspend are a fringe party at the moment, but in light of Chairman Immigration issues… this party is growing quite a following. They were fronted by David Dein, but that has subsequently changed. The backer of this party has a shady past, but he has been desperately manipulating the press of late and he feels that he can benefit the club long term.

Uspend are actively promoting radical change… they plan to use personal investment to push the club to the next level. Uspend believe that by plundering £100million on proven talent, within 2 years, Arsenal can be the most powerful club in Europe and will be able to generate enough revenue to repay the huge investments back… it’s high risk, high reward… The party owner is even willing to pay off the stadium in one go.

Uspend believe Arsenal are a sleeping giant and they are the Party to wake it up.

So… cast your vote below and let us know which politicaball ideology you follow and why!


In other news, Stuart Pearce defends his decision to drop Theo, after he came off the bench to inspire a victory. Geoff will be pleased to hear Pearce said Fabrice Muamba played one of the best holding role games he’s ever seen a player have in an England shirt. I’m not a fan of Fabrice, nor am I a great fan of our two holding players… it would be nice if an English kid had the gumption to fight for their place, wouldn’t it? If he had, maybe he’d be playing for us in that role?

Also in the news, we could be signing pint sized (kidding) Thomas Vermaelen within a couple of days. Exciting stuff!

See you in the comments!

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940 Responses to “Why I’m voting for the BNP / First signing imminent!”

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  1. PDT

    Haha, GM! No, I have not. Most pitches in my part of the world become waterlogged mudbaths after rain and the football is not pretty. Get to see a lot of it on the telly, but have never been to one.

    DId watch a Grampus 8 J League match once on the telly and was wondering how in the world did Arsene survive coaching them!

  2. PDT

    From what I hear, Cana is like a savage Savage – very good when he clatters into people, but not so good contributing to a buildup.

  3. goonermichael

    PDT
    I did a girls hair from Singapore today and she told me it wasn’t an Island. She must have misunderstood.

  4. PDT

    Depends on what you want when you travel, KM. Great shopping and local food. About 10-15% of Singapore’s population are tourists at any point in time!

  5. goonermichael

    Former Manchester United striker Ruud Van Nistelrooy has told his team-mates Arjen Robben and Klaas-Jan Huntelaar to leave Real Madrid and head for Spurs.

    He must really hate them

  6. Stu

    The “professional” pundits/writers on goal.com are of the opinion that Vermaelen is shite and we got robbed by paying 10 or so million.

  7. ethangunner

    he is rated as one of Belgium’s top defenders ..
    kompany – van den borre is also good IMO …

    i think Belgium have pretty good quality defenders.

    but being ajax’s captain says something about his potential ..

    if you run parallels with what we did to cesc to get him to commit to us then you can see what the ajax management was trying to do with Vermaelen …

    having someone with some leadership i think isnt a bad thing .. you could be looking at arsenals next captain if we sell cesc …

  8. Geoff

    Cartman when I stayed at the Saint Geran I had O’leary next door to me, he kept trying to strike up conversations with me and I blanked him for a whole week, I have never forgiven him for sending out that Leeds team to kick us off the pitch, the dirty cunts.

  9. Mayank

    The experts are playing its as safe as they can 2 out of 3 foreign signings(not of the big name nature) fail in the EPL so its not rocket science to figure out that they’ll have better odds predicting his failure… plus everyone likes to read about arsenal’s fuck-ups rather than triumphs. Anyway they’re not scouts neither are the managers so i don’t care what they think…

  10. Cartman

    too bad geoff! i heard that our new signing was staying at Dina Robin, a hotel usually for the big personalities!

  11. Geoff

    All that for kicking a fucking football, it makes me sick when I think how hard I have worked over the years.

  12. gooner-pak

    morning every one
    so one of two/three signing tht we demanded is done….dont know how he’ll peform but we needed a cb thts for sure….(dm and winger left)