Okay let’s start by putting the story of Cesc leaving if Wenger goes to bed. Arsene says he’s going nowhere and Cesc should still be here in 10 years, on that note I will bury the story, well done boss for coming out so quickly to stop this scandal screwing over our season.
Our kids beat the spuds kids in the quarter finals of the FA Youth cup at Shite Hart lane last night, we were by far the better side and they scored against the run of play but resilience and talented young players overcame the dark side of football to beat them 3-1 in normal time, well done those kids, fantastic display and what talent on show, how does Song get in our side when we have real exceptional talent in the squad? It’s beyond me that’s for sure, oh I forgot, some of the are English. Just kidding!
Arsene welcomes back Eduardo and Theo this weekend, Fabianski will be in goal but I expect a strong side, the boss says the best way to beat Roma is to beat Burnley, that winning games, wins games, he will not be repeating the mistakes of last year when we fielded a weakened side against the Mancs in the FA cup at Old Trafford, that result affected our confidence and the season collapsed.
So a win on Sunday should set the confidence soaring and that means a win on Wednesday and into the quarter finals against Liverpool and vengeance for last year and the cheating ref.
At least we’ll get to see Arshavin on Sunday and at least he’ll get a rest midweek, I so wish we had bought him in the summer, he’s fitted in straight away instead of taking the usual first season bedding in period and he wouldn’t be cup tied.
Still at the business end of the season which is coming up fast, we’ll have all of our long term injured players back and that should help push us over the line, in theory we could end end winning the Champions league and the FA Cup and finish second in the premiership, so if that happened we wouldn’t see the season as a disaster would we? And it could happen, imagine that!
And not forgetting we could also win the FA Youth cup, so that would be an unprecedented treble, no one has ever done that have they?
Have a great day Grovers, we have something to celebrate today, we beat the spuds on their own shitty little patch and we did it in style, good going kids, go all the way and win us a trophy!
Our first in 4 years and believe me, it would be very welcome.
P.S. Le Exchange is out of tickets so drop me a mail if you have spares and I’ll ensure they go to a gooner for trade… I’d also like to point you in the direction of our mailing list in the side bar (We promise to only share your data with viagra and porn sites)… finally, we’ve got a twitter thingy… it’s mega fun because everyone else is doing it! Remember to check out all the new stuff in the side bar ——–>
IF you herd this before sorry but made me laugh anyway,
Q What do you call Jade goody in a wedding dress?
A a shuttle cock..
R57
DDM…Nice one..
He has now recorded 10 wins without defeat….Does this statement relate to Arsenal’s remaining games with all our stars coming back soon…..
Yo, i’m about 12 years into my relationship now, and i’ve started to have erection difficulties. My girlfriend and i have different ideas as to what the problem is, she bought me some Viagra, i’ve bought the fat cow a treadmill………
Yo, did anyone read this peice from ANR this morning?
http://www.arsenalnewsreview.co.uk/index.php?mact=News,cntnt01,detail,0&cntnt01articleid=1208&cntnt01origid=30&cntnt01returnid=42
Paddy calls Easyjet to book a flight
the operator asks”how many people travelling
with you”Paddy replies”i dont know.its your
fuckin plane”
r57 hahaha
DDM
just dont tell your wife
haha, I think that guy talks garbage sometimes.
He’ll play again, just like the rest of the crappers will.
ddm that peice was copy pasted on to here
Oh, and this piece from yesterday;
http://www.arsenalnewsreview.co.uk/index.php?mact=News,cntnt01,detail,0&cntnt01articleid=1207&cntnt01origid=30&cntnt01returnid=42
I swear that Myles fucking Palmer wants everyone to think he’s got the inside track at Arsenal, when all he is, is a fucking self-opinionated journo, just one rung higher up on the evolutionary ladder than Football Agents, Estate Agents, and Bankers!
DDM you watch your mouth journos ain’t evolved
Ethan, hello mate, long time no jibber jabber….
It’s ok mate, she’s a Crystal Palace supporter and wouldn’t be seen dead reading anything Arse (!) related…………
Good point Nick, many apologies to all our evolved friends!!
DDM….you nasty sod…..did laugh tho.
Nick….pissed my pants at the shuttlecock one. People around me started asking what’s so funny…..obviously cant tell them
DDM,
Myles article:
Ok, so I was right, I hate being right, but I was right… so right, I can’t believe it.
How did I know we’d draw with Fulham? Do I have magical powers or is Myles just the most forward thinking journo in football?
Book Jam was great. I have a book.
Pedro, you fucking part-timer, where you been, and where’s Geoff?? Shoddy, very shoddy indeed……
Ten things men know about women……….
1.They have a vaginal opening.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.Oh and tits!
DDM, they are slaving me at work… no blogging for me.
You’ve been missing my jokes right?
Armed police have surrounded a factory in Merseyside after a man was seen acting suspiciously.
One witness claimed the guy looked like he was working.
Two dwarfs pull 2 girls & take them home
1st dwarf cant get it up & to make things
worse all nite he can hear 2nd dwarf saying
“here i come again..1 2 3 uuh…
next morning 1st dwarf says to 2nd
“how embarrising i couldn’t even get a hard on”
2nd dwarf says”you think thats bad i couldn’t
even get on the fuckin bed”
According to the news, Michael Jackson is about to release some new dates.
I’ll bet their parents will be relieved to have them back.
Pedro – We’ve talked about this haven’t we, now stop trying to be funny, it’s not working!
So when you say the FA Youth Cup would be our first trophy in four years, I’m assuming 235 million trophies by the women’s team doesn’t count?
Pedro come on back to work.
DDM
yes im not so convinced by all this positive blogging energy currently ,its like turning to religion when your life is almost over
my silence is golden.
im still holding judgment until i see some positivity on the pitch that doesn’t involve beating championship teams , then i might have something to HORRARRR ! about !
PS : more championships teams this weekend ..
ho hum .. wenger better not field a weak team and lose or ill open a can of whoop ass ..
i hate getting out of cup draws no matter how big or small
CHAMONEEEEEEEEEEEE BITCHES !
even at the second half of the remaining matches villa matches are bit tricky….bolton away, west (under zola have potential to ge some thing) plus boro fighting relegation
Erichero what we have a woman’s team?
A young Chinese couple gets married. She’s a virgin. Truth be told, he is a virgin too, but she doesn’t know
that. On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses in the darkness.
He climbs into bed next to her and tries to be reassuring. My darring,’ he whispers, ‘I know dis you firss time and you berry flighten.
I promise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting – juss anyting you want. You
juss ask. Whatchu want?’ he says, trying to sound experienced and worldly, which he hopes will impress her.
A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for her request. She eventually shyly whispers back, ‘I want to try
someting I have hear about from odda girls… Numbaa 69.’ More thoughtful silence, this time from him. Eventually, in a puzzled tone he asks her….
You want…… Garlic Chicken wif snow peas?
DDM, very funny
just been done by the police apparently comic relief is not an excuse for wrapping your cock in a beano and wanking !!!
Drunk man walks into a bar
He shouts across the bar to a group of lads
“i shagged your mother”The lads ignore him
He shouts again “Up the arse as well”
They still ignore him.
He shouts a 3rd time “She sucked my knob too
One of the lads stands up and shouts back
“Go home dad you’re pissed”
I hope you’re not sulking now Pedro….
where is everyone?
lunch?
Phaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarppppppppppp!
DDM i just done that it smelt like a glade freshener had three different smells wow
Maybe that should have just been shared between me an the bods in the office soz
I would say it smelt more like baby sick with a smattering of 10 day old, off milk……..
Just my luck — judging by the itching and the rash, I think I’m allergic to prostitutes.
DDM obviously a fellow father to know just how rank that is
Duke THERE MUST BE AN EPIDIMIC ME AS WELL
Totally out of order DDM, I’m too upset to raise a yellow card…
Erichero… women can’t play football, everyone knows that!
A man with a winking problem is applying for a position as a sales representative for a large firm. The interviewer looks over his papers and says, “This is phenomenal. You’ve graduated from the best schools; your recommendations are wonderful, and your experience is unparalleled. Normally, we’d hire you without a second thought. However, a sales representative has a highly visible position, and we’re afraid that your constant winking will scare off potential customers. I’m sorry…we can’t hire you.”
“But wait,” he said. “If I take two aspirin, I’ll stop winking!”
“Really? Great! Show me!”
So the applicant reaches into his jacket pocket and begins pulling out all sorts of condoms: red condoms, blue condoms, ribbed condoms, flavored condoms; finally, at the bottom, he finds a packet of aspirin. He tears it open, swallows the pills, and stops winking.
“Well,” said the interviewer, “that’s all well and good, but this is a respectable company, and we will not have our employees womanizing all over the country!”
“Womanizing? What do you mean? I’m a happily married man!”
“Well then, how do you explain all these condoms?”
“Oh, that,” he sighed. “Have you ever walked into a pharmacy, winking, and asked for aspirin?”
ethan – i too refuse to be drawn into this wave of ‘we’re great again’ cobblers! Give the fans a top four finish AND The FA Cup, and then you might be able to consider this season a success, the only problem with that happening will be the continued inclusion of planks like Song and Eboue in the team…….
DUKE
You ARE sulking Pedro, foreshame on you, you old tart….
How come when I print my own money to get out of a financial crisis its called forgery and I get 10 years inside, yet when the Bank Of England do it it’s called a strategy?
Pedro to be fair i thought the jackson one was quite good
Carlsberg don’t do kids, but if they did, they’d probably get reported.
ha ha
Should children witness child birth? Good question. Here’s your answer.
Due to a power outage, only one paramedic
responded to the call. The house was very dark so the
paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a
flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he
helped deliver the baby.
Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked.
Heidi pushed and pushed and after a little while, Connor was
born. The paramedic lifted hi m by his little feet and
spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry.
The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked
The wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought about what she had
just witnessed.
Kathleen quickly responded, ‘He shouldn’t have crawled in
there in the first place……spank him again!’
whatever…
Pedro – I am here, and what was it you were saying about women and football……
You fucking brown-nose nick!
How do you stop a dog humping your leg?
Pick it up and suck its dick
Pedro – Ner Ner Ne Ner Ner………
Ouch
GOOD on Clichy i know the press twist shit but statements like that even they cant spin maybe the other fuckers should take note and adebayaor can fuck off and take song and that other cock with him. Sorry had to get that off my chest im not reading anything else other then this site for the rest of the day.
DDM im on a yellow from yesterday so thought id best get in there!!
nick since it’s all u will be reading, here is something to lighten you up. Clichy is a legend and that cunt who played his position before is not worthy to be pissed on by Clichy.
Just a tip to the coppers who’ve arrested Ashley Cole. When he asks for his one phone call, make sure he puts the reciever back.
Duke nice one
Cristiano Ronaldo parking in a disabled spot.
Well we all knew he was fucking Special.
So, so dissapointing nick, bowing and scraping to the establishment, where’s your pride, where’s your cojones……
riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiico
Mr Menace – how the devil are you?
haha! Cheers Nick, DDM is just a hater…
Rico, I was only kidding! I love women’s football late on a Saturday night when no one’s at home!
I’m off to the pub!
Hey DDM, last go…
I was up in court today for having two Wives.
The Judge said it was big of me.
Go to the pub Pedro
Just bought my epileptic friend a strobe light for his birthday… he’s going to have a fit when he sees it!
Rico… don’t be bitter… just because I’m funnier than your cyber lover… haha!
Laters!
Pedro…..two wives joke was shite……
Like the strobe light one tho…….
where is Irish and QoS…….
Pedro, Pedro, Pedro………….
pedro they were shite i cant defend you if you post shite like that get him DDm
I’m ticketyboo rico, yourself madam??
Wardo irish is making her way into the big smoke and maybe qos has had the bambino
Four nuns die and go to heaven. St.Peter asks the first nun “have you had contact with a penis?”
She says “i once touched one with my finger”
St.Peter says “dip your finger in Holy Water”
The next nun says “i’ve fondled one”
St.Peter says “put your hand in Holy Water”
Suddenly there’s a commotion, a nun has pushed her way to the front of the queue.
St.Peter asks “what’s up, what’s all the commotion?”
“well” says the nun “if i’m gonna gargle that Holy Water i want to do it before Sister Anne sticks her arse in it!!!!”
No too bad thanks dennis, looking forward to Sunday
DDM FUCKING FUNNY
My girlfriend said I’ve got the biggest cock she’d ever seen,
That’s one of the benefits of going out with a 10 year old.
Ouch (again)
DUKE YOU FUCKING SICK PUPPY
I try nick
Man walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm.
His wife is lying in bed reading.
Man says, “This is the pig I have sex with when you’ve got a headache.”
Wife replies, “I think you’ll find that is a sheep.”
Man replies, “I think you’ll find I was talking to the sheep.”
Duke a bit below the belt there mate
After a recent investigation into the 9/11 attacks, the Americans found it wasn’t Muslim terrorists who attacked the Twin Towers. It was two Irish builders fitting a door on the 44th floor. The door wouldn’t fit so Mick told Paddy to fetch a plane and take a bit off the top……
DDM the old ones are the good ones
I was checking into a hotel the other week. At the counter, a guy in front of me said curtly to the receptionist, “I hope the porn channel is disabled.”
Unbelievable what some people are into.
Scientists have discovered a direct link between the genetic make up of both shrimps and women….
Their heads are full of shit but the pink bits taste lovely !!
The lesbians next door gave me a rolex for my birthday.
Very nice but I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch !!
Q: What is the medical term for the fatty tissue surrounding the clitoris ???
A: The wife !
Spooky, talking of shrimps………
In the shark-infested waters of the Caribbean, two prawns called Justin and Christian are discussing the pressures of being a preyed-upon prawn. “I hate being a prawn,” says Justin. “I wish I were a shark.” Suddenly, a mysterious cod appears. “Your wish is granted,” he says. Instantly, Justin becomes a shark. Horrified, Christian swims away, afraid his former friend might eat him. As time passes, Christian continues to avoid Justin, leaving the shrimp-turned-maneater lonely and frustrated. So when he bumps into the cod again, he begs the mysterious fish to change him back. Lo and behold, Justin is turned back into a prawn. With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes, he swims back to the reef to seek out Christian. As he approaches, he shouts out: “It’s me, Justin, your old friend. I’ve changed… I’ve found Cod. I’m a prawn again, Christian”……….badabing!
Three nuns are painting the inside of a church and become hot and sweetie in their habits so mother superior suggests they take their clothes off, the other two say in a disapproving way what if some one sees us she said its fine Ive locked the door so they agree 15 mins later there’s a bang on the door mother superior runs to the door and asks in a panicked voice who it was a gruff mans voice comes back and says its the blind man from last week,so with relief she opens the door the man stumbles in and says great tits ladies now where do you wont these blinds.
Double G
BBC are honouring Wendy Richards in a remake of….
‘Are you being Preserved’
Statistically… 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.
A feck! I missed joke day!!! Whats a shit day this is turning out to be!!
DDM how do you get a IT graduate off your front porch?
That’s right pay him for the pizza
Mary was asleep in bed when Bill came crashing through the door at 3am waking her up.
He was stumbling up the stairs with not much luck.
‘What are you doing’ Mary asked.
‘Tryin to get thish gallon of beer up the shtairsh’ replied Bill.
‘Why don’t you just leave it down there?’
Bill replied ‘Cosh I dranked it’
Front Porch!!!! Jesus, what part of town are you from fella???
the best part, sarf lundin
Will was trying to teach his young son the evils of alcohol. He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whisky. The worm in the water lived, while the one in the whisky curled up and died.
‘All right, son’, asked Will, ‘what does that show you?’
‘Well, Dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol, you will not have worms.’
Mick Flaherty had supped more than enough Guinness and had stumbled out of Quinn’s bar and into the Sunday afternoon air.
As his drunken eyes squinted to adjust to the light, an ambulance went by at great speed. Blue lights flashing and siren blaring, it roared up the street with Mick in full flight running after it.
A hundred yards, 200, 300, almost a quarter of a mile he tracked it until suddenly, lungs and legs giving out, he fell into the gutter.
Then with his very last ounce of breath he roared: “You can keep your fecking ice cream!”
nick – What part o’ Sarfffff London has a porch??
mick was driving down a country lane when he saw paddy rowing a boat in a field of hay mick stopped shouted out its thick cnuts like you that give us Irish a bad name if i could swim id come over there and kick ya fecking ass
ddm ahahhaha nice i like
my house all wight
well more a mobile home with a veranda but ya get me point
Aha! Hiding from the authorities are you
how do you know?
where is your residence located fine sir?
Why is rave like rap?
They are both more enjoyable with an e.
Duke where do get em’
friday is joke day, they come around
Paddy’s chat up lines:
1. Did ya fart? ‘Cos ya just blew me away!
2. Are your parents retarded? ‘Cos your special!
3. My love for you is like diarrohea. I just cant hold it in!
4. Is there a mirror in your knickers? ‘Cos I can see myself in them!
5. Your body reminds me of a spanner. Ever time I think of you my nuts tighten up!
6. You might not be the best looking girl in here, but beauty is only a light switch away!
Paddy & his wife are lying in bed & the neighbours dog is barking like mad in the garden. Paddy says ‘To hell with this!’ & storms off.
He comes back upstairs 5 mins later & his wife asks ‘What did you do?’
Paddy replies ‘I’ve put the dog in our garden, lets see how they like it!’
Mick & Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery. Mick say ‘Crikey! There’s a bloke here who was 152!’
Paddy says ‘What’s his name?’
Mick replies ‘Miles from London!’
Once upon a time it used to be N1, but then i entangled with a wench, and now it’s fecking Bromley!
A Muslim was sitting next to Paddy on a plane. Paddy ordered a whiskey. The stewardess asked the Muslim if he’d like a drink.
He replied in disgust ‘I’d rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips!’
Paddy handed his drink back & said ‘Me too, I didn’t know we had a choice!’
snap
What part of bromley i live in downham
I find it so posh the people in downham all think there better then you ya know with their escort convertibles and reebok classics some of em can even spell ive meet two that even had jobs flash cnuts
Paddy & Mick go to London to donate sperm. It was a disaster! Paddy missed the tube & Mick came on the bus!!
Downham, Jesus ‘H’ Christ you do have a caravan then ha ha ha!!
Bromley North, half way up the hill between Bromley and Shortlands…..
nick the the dozen whores one is classic
Fucking hell they wernt that bad,DDM only pulling your pisser not really from downham know bromley well used to work there
The wife says it’s time I lost some weight, so she bought me a pedometer. I have to wear it on my wrist and, with every step I take, it records the slight vibration and can tell how many miles I have walked in one day.
It’s great, I’ve been sat on the couch all day, watching “loose women”. It says I’ve walked 12 miles.
bromley road?
Most of the millwall players live round there
does anyone feel sorry for Cashley Cunt??
why would people feel sorry for him?!
his absolute prick have you seen the song for him on you tube to the tune of stars in their eyes its quality and sums him up
what a weird question to ask around here…
would put a link up but I’m shite, check it out
An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a barstool and orders some coffee.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, ‘Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?’
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
‘Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I’m a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?’
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters,
‘No… not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.’
Almost, carry on through Bromley Road and into Beckenham Lane, and i’m off one of the left hand turnings half way up the hill, and yes there are a fair few pikie footballers in my neck o’ the woods, usually from Millwall, Crystal Palace etc….
A blond walked into a computer shop and said to a member of staff “exuse me could I buy some curtains for my new computer please?” the man replied “you don’t need curtains on a computer”
the blonde said “well why do I have windows then.”
hahhahah
that was for the biker one, the windows one is poor
bollocks its a classic
old, predictable, and just poor
Just got back and read back. Women play football???
That’s just wrong.
Duke motion carried i was wrong
It was a joke of Pedro ‘quality’ very poooooooooer indeed!!
good man
and now give us a proper one
How was it out there Steve, moist??
When my wife screeched at me that I treated the house like a hotel, I called reception to complain about the maid’s attitude.
I would like to claim first prize for the day’s worst joke –
A man walks into a pub with a salmon under his arm, and asks the barman, “Do you do fishcakes?”
The barman shakes his head.
“Shame”, says the man, “It’s his birthday”….