Don’t deny it… we’ve all had a bout of it… we’ve all felt ourselves wanting to push the ‘cunt’ button on the keyboard this week when someone says something that disagrees with us… we’ve all slagged a player off unnecessarily at some point… we’ve all screamed doom at least once this week!
Don’t worry about it though… you’ve just had a bout of I.W.S…
I.W.S caught on camera for the first time.
International Week Syndrome.
Symptoms:
Irrational doom mongering, unfairly picking on players, only having two terms to describe a players ability (Good or shit), sensitivity to anything Gallas, Eboue or Ade say, shedding tear when you heard Thierry bagged two because you started reminiscing about the good times, sniping at your fellow Grover, kicking a small cat on your way to work… so on and so forth.
Cause:
Prolonged boredom due to international week.
It’s similar to office syndrome. You know what I mean, you’re in an office full of ugly people… but those ugly people keep on looking better and better… then at the office social you have two beers and BANG… you wake up in bed next to Mary… the beast from accounts! How did you get there… how did it happen?
It’s the same as I.W.S… except more angry…Monday starts with no news… then it gets to Wednesday and there is still no news then it gets to Thursday and it’s time to start over analysing every player in the squad… By Friday you are blaming Randall for Arsenal not winning the Premiership last season and calling for the resignation of Pat Rice!
Here is a an example that is not too far from a convo that I witnessed…
Commenter 1: ‘Oh isn’t Ade marvellous scoring 4 goals against Rhodesia’
Commenter 2: ‘Shame he can’t do it for his club’
Commenter 1: ‘Did you know he has the most assists in the prem?’
Commenter 2: ‘That tells you a lot, what sort of striker has more assists than goals?!’
Commenter 1: ‘He is a cunt… off with his head!’
It’s not rational thought, it’s I.W.S at it’s worst!
I can’t deny it, I’ve been there this week as well! The lingering memory of Sunderland has only made this particular bout of I.W.S worse…
Don’t worry though Grovers… I have the cure!
Positive thoughts.
Ok, here we go… some points to brighten up you day!
- Cesc reckons everything to do with Arsenal is double flipping ace with a cherry on top.
- We are 4th in league… and we have it all to play for!
- Robin Van Persie is not injured… we hope.
- I have made 3 points already… that is more than Spurs have at the bottom of the table.
- Adebayor scored 4 goals so he should be on form.
- Gallas is injured so JD has a chance to shine!
- We’ve got Aaron Ramsey la laaa la la!
- Diaby is fit, Nasri is fit and Cesc is fit despite a broken nose!
- Everton have been poor thus far!
- PROPER FOOTBALL STARTS TOMORROW!
I hope that has gone some way to brightening up your Friday and I hope you’ve shaken off the I.W.S!
Why not crack open an early morning Peroni to break in the day… if your boss asks what you are doing, tell them the team at Le Grove said it was ok!
Happy Friday Grovers… roll on Saturday!
1st
2nd
2nd
podium?
That’s more like it……….and all y’all haters can keep doing your thing!!!
oops 3rd… podium at least
great post.
Happy Birthday to me,Happy birthday to me
Pedro….good one mate……….
You shouldn’t admit to the thing with mary from accounts pedro!
We’re back…. Rightly diagnosed Pedro. I had more mood swings than an eight month old pregnant woman on her period
morning all, good post pedro … nice positive vibes.
diaby to start 2mo?
Happy Bday Kelsey… have a sweet ass day
Her bubbly personality just got the better of me…
Happy Birthday Kelsey!
hbd kelsey
Morning all,
Spot on post!
The last 10days have been painful!
Roll on Saturday!!
Happy birthday Kelsey.
Have a good one Kelsey!!!
I watched famous fans on atv last night and it was that doctor who did the human body series (cant remember his name) he managed to get in a word like vicissitude (can’t remember that either but he said we were unlucky) on the blackboard behind him they’d written e=mc2 and underneath it said Arsenal rule london spuds are cunt (made up the last bit) it was really quite funny
Happy birthday Kelsy
btw pedro how was mary from accounts, apparently the ugly ones try harder (according to my mate ugly dave)
odub ramsey was the only highlight of the last 10 days
so does that mean most of you are more technically accurate when your bored ?
It’s Lord Robert Winstone I think.
..and Mary must’ve been amazing and probably even made breakfast in the morning.
True GM!
The boy was outstanding in both U21 matches…
I however think we need to be worried
Because Craig Bellamy has offered to be his mentor!!!! WTF!!!
Anyone else but that bag o shit!
keyser that’s his name seems a nice bloke, I didn’t know he was agooner
ethan it just means that we are doomed!!! All of us…. The whole lot. The funniest part of it all was when we all went medical and debated which was worse smoking or drinking. All right thats it about that……..
Franchise – a pregnant woman with a period – good one !
Pedro – I.W.S. – even better; when you think of our players you get I.B.S. – thinking in terms of everything being shit.
odub
mabye he needs to know how to beat up women
It is interesting that we always seem to suffer the most with injuries over the international break.
Sagna being out is a blow, who is going to play right back – Eboue? Can Walcott play after the international week?
No major problems with Gallas being out – lets just hope that JD gets over his concussion so he can prove me and many other fans right – that he should be starting at the moment.
If not – Silvestre gets his chance.
To be honest guys… Mary wasn’t even interested… I just pretended to nail her so you’d think I was cool
Think Silvestre will partner JD in the middle and Toure moving right…..
I might be wrong but I think for once our injury crisis would be a plus rather than a minus…… (probably given too much detail here if its not a plus what else could it be????)
Franchise
i think smoking must be worse !?!
at least drinking changes your mental state ! – too enjoyable !
mind you i s’pose it all depends what your smokin
Franschise – It could be a ‘=’
it could be a nuetral franchise
does mary from accounts look better or worse than ugly betty ??
also does she have charisma ? charisma goes along way
*Franchise
Morning All and a Happy birthday to you Kelsey
Since its friday:
A young couple wanted to join the church, the pastor told them, ‘We have a special requirement for new member couples. You must abstain from sex for one whole month.’
The couple agreed, but after two-and-a-half weeks returned to the Church.
When the Pastor ushered them into his office, the wife was crying and the husband was obviously very depressed. ‘You are back so soon… Is there a problem?’ the pastor inquired.
‘We are terribly ashamed to admit that we did not manage to abstain from sex for the required month.’ The young man replied sadly.
The pastor asked him what happened.
‘Well, the first week was difficult… However, we managed to abstain through sheer willpower.
The second week was terrible, but with the use of prayer, we managed to abstain. However, the third week was unbearable.
We tried cold showers, Prayers, reading from the Bible…anything to keep our minds off Carnal Thoughts.
Until one afternoon my wife reached for a can of paint and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and I just had my way with her right then and there.
It was lustful, loud, passionate sex. It lasted for over an hour and when we were done we were both drenched in sweat,’ admitted the man, shamefacedly.
The pastor lowered his head and said sternly, ‘You understand this means you will not be welcome in our church.’
‘We know.’ said the young man, hanging his head, ‘We’re not welcome at Homebase either.’
GM,
He’d be getting a top class education if he goes to Bellamy for that. Thuggery101 would also be on the agenda!
I can see we are all in the mood. Hopefully the ‘guys’ are. We want a convincing win tomorrow with loads of goals. Anything less would probably trigger I.W.S complications
Ethan, are you saying Charisma makes up the three way with Mary and does most of the work ?
Er excuse me, there are some ladies on here you know………….;)
Funny postPedro, just whats needed to brighten our day, along with the glorious sunshine..
Bac, Willy and Nik out for Saturday and Tuesday – thats not so good, Bac is the one that worries me, will AW play Eboue there – I hope so, or maybe Tweety Pie?
Traore has said somewhere that he may have to leave Arsenal, obviously old Egg Head has had a word at Pompey,,,,
And kelsey, Many Happy Returns, hope you have plenty of beers later
AW must tell Rambo not to hang out with Prof. Bell-end, since when was he a role model let alone a good mentor.
Morning all,
Happy Birthday Kelsey!
I thought JD was injured? If he isn’t, I think you’re right Iceman, Toure will play as right back, Wenger didn’t play Eboue right back all last season when Sagna was injured so I don’t see him changing his mind!!
Ethan,
She is better than Ugly Betty… a bit moody though.
Here is her FB profile pic…
Link
Rico, Tweety Pie??
Lawrenson has predicted a 2 – 0 win to us, I suppose that means we wld be lucky to get a draw!
happy birthday Kelsey, enjoy ur day
congrats iceman u got it today
Pedro she is a Bombshell mate, well done
atleast the chavs got plenty of injuries to
you’re lucky i went out this morning
the reason wenger didn’t play eboue at RB last cson was cos he played in RM mostly with Adebayor as the lone striker. I think he wld play RB. If u remember once this season Sagna was havin a nightmare of a game (not really) and Le Prof took him off and brought in Eboue
Inside – Silvestre = Tweety Pie
Let me get a joke in early.
This credit crunch is a catastophe for me, its worse than divorce, I’ve lost half my money but i’ve still got the fkn wife!
Me too didee, hence so late, but we will be back
Pedro – who gave you that picture, I didnt give my consent…..
talk about punchline Pierre… that was spot on. Im still laughing
is that accounts laydee Robert Huth’s sister?
thats a whole lotta lovin right there
Back on form………..Cheers didee
she could feed a 3rd world country for a week
I hope you’re right Franchise, Eboue is a better RB than Toure
she better have charisma … i bet you she has a tonne of it
a metric tonne
If you say so rico
JD busted his head so Silvestre will probably start the game
Re: Armand Traore, has he not noticed the path Bentley’s career has taken. And being so early in the season why the hell does he have to come and say something so stupid?
true sparrow. Toure is not very comfortable with the ball too play ne where other than at CB
hey pedro wheres the poll ?
we want more polls !
1 per day
even if there just blatantly useless !
theres nothing like a consensus !
BRING ON THE TRUMPETS!
i think traore would play with us. he’s looked good at pompey and with our injury/sales record he’ll be playing every week
I’m with u on this one InsideA…. Ive got one for you pedro for the poll
Who would keep possesion better over 90mins?
The Arsenal team 03/04
or
The Arsenal team 07/08
Morning Campers, it’s F-F-F-F-F-Fridayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy……………….
Wayne Rooney’s new haircut was the result of a misunderstanding.
Apparently, Playboy offered Colleen £1m if she had her cunt shaved!!!
ethan.. typical aint it… give us the power to vote then snatch it away again just a day later!!!
dennis BOOM BOOM !…
yes tom its like the thai government
LOLOLOLOLOL DDM I am falling over my chair
Another
Which ‘could have been an Arsenal player’ would u rather see in DM?
Carrick
or
Mr Set the Record Straight a,k.a JJ a.k.a Jermaine JenASS
ddm… top class mate
inside… this team would keep possession better but still loose 3-1!!
Ok… what do we want to poll today?
WeyyyHeyyy How are you rico you old biffa??
I’ve got one…
2 secs
Ive got two for u Pedro
NEW POLL!
I think the first one would recieve split votes
1st to Vote yipee
Pedro that is probably one of the best posts i have read and i really enjoyed reading it. The I.W.S idea is spot on and you hit the nail on the head with the picture.
Pedro – You stole my bird you bastard, you are worse than that fecker Nasri….
fran
so you said midfielder ?!
I think thats coming regardless !….
we need a clinical striker ! a world beater !
every other top 4 club has one ! but us !
Danny Karbassiyon is a legend, fact! Lol
I was on his facebook the other day, and yes its him..he’s not that big some one would set up a fake account for him!
Anyway, I just thought it was great how he was commenting on the Arsenal youth players and checking how they were progressing; he also has some good pics of him and Senderos when he first arrived. Truly one of the good men in football and its great to see Arsenal have helped him start a new career and he is paying them back with some good work
Oh and on a lighter note, has anyone seen Senderos’ gf! Talk about an injustice!!
Sorry Ethan!
DDM, there is so much of her I am sure you and Pedro can share
inside – Sloppy Seconds????
A blonde gets a job as a teacher.
She notices a boy in the field standing alone, while all the
other kids are running around having fun.
She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him.
‘You ok?’ she says.
‘Yes.’ he says.
‘You can go and play with the other kids you know.’ she says.
‘It’s best I stay here.’he says. ‘
‘Why?’ says the blonde.
The boy says: ‘Because, I’m the soddin’ goalkeeper
Thanks for your good wishes guys
We’ve got one clinical striker already Ethan, Van Persie he spends more time at the clinic than ne other striker in the world
when eddies back he’s the clincal striker we need
midfielder or defender tho!??!!
I’m soooooooo sorry……..
Little Sally came home from school and with a smile on her face and told her mother.
“Frank Brown showed me his willy today!”
Before the mother could flip a cookie, Sally went on to say, “It reminded me of a peanut”
Relaxing a little, with a hidden smile, Sally’s Mum asked, “Really small was it?”
Sally replied, “No…salty!”
DDM, not really, she’s a two man job
top of the morning dirty den……..
DDM- keep ‘em coming mate
I think we have broken all records we now have more injured than actual first team players,and that’s after 7 games.Apparently a third specialist has been called in to evaluate rosicky’s injury,the more they operate the worse his condition gets.
I just hope cesc and djorou don’t go for the same ball in the air tomorrow.
wheres that bad boy chary gone……
20mill…………Buffon!!
Dennis – Quality mate still chucklin’
Prediction 3 – 0 Arsenal Theooooo 1st scorer
How are women and tornadoes alike?
They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.
Check this one out:
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young
mothers and their small children.
“You all have obsessions,” he observed.
To the first mother, he said, “You are obsessed with eating. You’ve
even named your daughter Candy.”
He turned to the second Mom. “Your obsession is money. Again, it
manifests itself in your child’s name, Penny.”
He turned to the third mom. “Your obsession is alcohol. Again, it
manifests itself in your child’s name, Brandy.”
At this point, the fourth mother got up, took her little boy by the
hand and whispered, “Come on, Dick, let’s go.”
Dirty Den!! Moi??
Ooooerrrrrrrrrrrr……….
An airplane takes off from the airport. The Captain is Jewish and the First Officer is Chinese. It’s the first time they’ve flown together and it’s obvious, by the silence, that they don’t get along.
After thirty minutes, the Jewish Captain mutters: “I don’t like Chinese.”
The First Officer replies: “Oooooh, no like Chinese? Why dat?”
“Your people bombed Pearl Harbor. That’s why I don’t like Chinese.”
“Nooooo, noooo, Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah. That Japanese, not Chinese.”
“Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese… it doesn’t matter, you’re all alike.”
Another thirty minutes of silence. Finally, the First Officer says: “No like Jew.”
“Why not? Why don’t you like Jews?”
“Jews sink Titanic.”
“The Jews didn’t sink the Titanic. It was an iceberg.”
“Iceberg, Goldberg, no mattah … all da same.”
inside – that’s me put off me morning porridge!!
haha, some great jokes already… I look forward to the afternoon jokes more… people bring out their A Grade material after a few beers!
DDM, Mary is so big, we could be sharing her and we wouldn’t even know!
Have you all voted?
You do know we have the technology to efficiently log your vote, right?
Cheers Kenny!
Is Nasri fit by the way? I just guessed he was!
A young woman goes into the doctor’s office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red “H” on her chest. “How did you get that mark on your chest?” asks the doctor. “Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he’s so proud of it that he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love,” she replies.
A couple of days later, another young woman comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue “Y” on her chest. “How did you get that mark on your chest?” asks the doctor. “Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he’s so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love,” she replies.
A couple of days later, another young woman comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green “M” on her chest. “Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?” asks the doctor.
“No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin. Why do you ask?”
DDM – sorry about that, but weren’t you having peanuts?
Pedro – I agree, and to that end, it may not surprise you to know that i have been living (rent free) withing her folds of fat underneath her left boobage!!
Hi Pedro, sorry I haven’t been on it’s all been a bit manic lately and the international week bores the fuck out of me. Anyway happy days are back and was wondering if you boys are all still meeting up before the game tomorrow?
Gallas, Bendtner and Sagna out for tomorrow and probably midweek CL as well.
At least with no Gallas we might not concide at a corner tomorrow.
Eboue to start at right back?
that picture was just darn revolting Pedro!
Rumours have started about January – Juve are going to ‘Bid Big’ for Ade……
So that means we can go ‘Bid Big’ for Villa
I’m truly fearful of asking, but peanuts???? Please say it has nothing to do with my first joke????
pedro
I just got back and looked at your mary picture. I’m scarred for life
Steve, we certainly are! I appreciate it’s probably been busy times for you!
Chris is over from Ireland, Bud will be there, Geoff will be on his 3rd day of boozing and I will be there!
DDM-Odub, will you be attending? Oh, and anyone else who fancies having a few beers before the game!
Team tomorrow then??
Almunia
Eboue Kolo JD Clichy
Theo Diaby Cesc Nasri
Ade Robin
Silvestre, Ramsey, Song, LJ, Vela Denilson, Fabianski
that picture is evil. how could she wear those socks with that dress?
rico – behave!
Pedro,
I’ll be there for about 1.30ish. Plan on getting absolutely a few bottles of the black stuff in my system before k/off!
its a nice friday morning so far, lets hope we will be feeling the same tomorrow evening
So GM, it appears you have made the mistake of putting scarred instead of jealous…
I understand those feelings…
Odub, I’m going to give the extra strong stuff a crack tomorrow… I like Guinness… extra strong should be extra better, right? (Excuse my English!)
i’m off to work
see you all later
Well, it looks like most of you want a midfielder!
Selection wise I think we could see Song/Djourou in the middle of defense and Toure at RB.
The passmaestro will probably be in the midfield with Cesc, Denilson and Theo, although I;d rather have Nasri than Denilson.
Upfront – Adebayor and RVP as per usual.
Have a good one GM.
I think we’re going to spank them big time tomorrow!
Pedro,
It goes down smoother than the normal stuff as well! Just pace yourself my young friend!!
The positivity on here this morning is amazing!! All the doom and gloom’s gone all of a sudden!
It’s amazing how much the mood changes once there’s a game to look forward to.
I think Robo Head will get a game tomorrow and the PassMaestro at RB. Being a home game we have to go for a creative midfield so I think we should play Theo-Diaby-Cesc-Nasri, unless AW wants to give Theo a rest and play denilson
I’m hitting the Peroni, none of that foreign guiness stuff:)
ethans famous 1 liners !
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving isn’t for you.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Remember half the people you know are below average.
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
Nothing is foolproof to a talented fool.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
I intend to live forever – so far so good.
Borrow money from a pessimist – they don’t expect it back.
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.
The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
Two wrongs are only the beginning.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Change is inevitable except from vending machines.
Get a new car for your spouse – it’ll be a great trade!
Plan to be spontaneous – tomorrow.
If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
If the speed of light is 186,000 miles/sec., what’s the speed of darkness?
Why are there 5 syllables in the word “monosyllabic”?
Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he’ll believe you.
Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
2 that are Arsenal specific !
Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
The sooner you fall behind the more time you’ll have to catch up.
That’s I.W.S for you Odub… it feels like it will never end, then the haze is lifted and everything is rosy again!
I got it real bad this week… I don’t think I get it when we go into the week with a win… but sitting on a 1-1 draw for 2 weeks does your head in!
Steve, I am going to mix it up tomorrow… head first into a filthy well deserved hangover!
Oh, I forgot about fish head – then it’ll be him instead of Djourou in my selection.
song and djourou at CB?? please no!!!!toure and silvestre/djourou, song on the bench (if hes lucky)
Pedro – It looks like i will be drinking Columbian rum at Che Geuvara before the game on Saturday…….
Come on Steve…cross to the dark side!!
Tomorrow
Almunia
Eboue Toure Silvestre Clichy
Walcott Diaby Fab Nasri
Ade RVP
3-1 Arsenal (RVP,Nasri,Cesc) with some twunt nicking a cheap goal for the scousers.
AT – it wasn’t my choice to have Song at CB- it was m yguess at what Wenger would choose. Anyway I think it’ll be fish head and Djourou at the back.
I’m going with Toure at RB tomorrow, as AW (apparently) will never play Eboue there again!!
so who is he gonna play in the CB position then?
odub
i concur on your lineup… maybe not diaby .. but the rest looks predictable ..
even ade with RVP .. he should be rested but on the back of 4 goals , good old predictable wenger will be feeling more optimistic than the Average arsenal blogger !
insidealbania
Silvester the cat ..
i think he has no choice but to play eboue there DDM !
johan and silverstre would be a gamble ..
i think toure needs to be a CD to add balance …
it can either go
toure – johan – mikel -gael
or
eboue – toure – silverstre – clichy .
but eboue has missed 1 whole game in a row !
the pass master will not be denied !
odub
diaby for denilson !
Ethan if it was down to me I’d go with Vela instead of Ade, and Denilson with Diaby to give Cesc a rest, apart from that we havent got that many options to be honest!!!
All we need is another injury and we be proper fudged!!
Think happy thoughts, Think happy thoughts!!!
I thought JD was injured as well?
Injury list I’m aware of
Sagna,Gallas,JD, and maybe Cesc (broken nose)
chary, fair enough… i think with song he’s gotta be one or the other now.. CB or DM.
he might play djourou at RB… he did when clichys went off at bolton
odub… he had concussion but might be fit, i think he’s ok
According to Arsecom, Odub, it’s Gallas, Bendtner and Sagna who are absent from the squad. This was as of yesterday.