Don’t deny it… we’ve all had a bout of it… we’ve all felt ourselves wanting to push the ‘cunt’ button on the keyboard this week when someone says something that disagrees with us… we’ve all slagged a player off unnecessarily at some point… we’ve all screamed doom at least once this week!
Don’t worry about it though… you’ve just had a bout of I.W.S…
I.W.S caught on camera for the first time.
International Week Syndrome.
Symptoms:
Irrational doom mongering, unfairly picking on players, only having two terms to describe a players ability (Good or shit), sensitivity to anything Gallas, Eboue or Ade say, shedding tear when you heard Thierry bagged two because you started reminiscing about the good times, sniping at your fellow Grover, kicking a small cat on your way to work… so on and so forth.
Cause:
Prolonged boredom due to international week.
It’s similar to office syndrome. You know what I mean, you’re in an office full of ugly people… but those ugly people keep on looking better and better… then at the office social you have two beers and BANG… you wake up in bed next to Mary… the beast from accounts! How did you get there… how did it happen?
It’s the same as I.W.S… except more angry…Monday starts with no news… then it gets to Wednesday and there is still no news then it gets to Thursday and it’s time to start over analysing every player in the squad… By Friday you are blaming Randall for Arsenal not winning the Premiership last season and calling for the resignation of Pat Rice!
Here is a an example that is not too far from a convo that I witnessed…
Commenter 1: ‘Oh isn’t Ade marvellous scoring 4 goals against Rhodesia’
Commenter 2: ‘Shame he can’t do it for his club’
Commenter 1: ‘Did you know he has the most assists in the prem?’
Commenter 2: ‘That tells you a lot, what sort of striker has more assists than goals?!’
Commenter 1: ‘He is a cunt… off with his head!’
It’s not rational thought, it’s I.W.S at it’s worst!
I can’t deny it, I’ve been there this week as well! The lingering memory of Sunderland has only made this particular bout of I.W.S worse…
Don’t worry though Grovers… I have the cure!
Positive thoughts.
Ok, here we go… some points to brighten up you day!
- Cesc reckons everything to do with Arsenal is double flipping ace with a cherry on top.
- We are 4th in league… and we have it all to play for!
- Robin Van Persie is not injured… we hope.
- I have made 3 points already… that is more than Spurs have at the bottom of the table.
- Adebayor scored 4 goals so he should be on form.
- Gallas is injured so JD has a chance to shine!
- We’ve got Aaron Ramsey la laaa la la!
- Diaby is fit, Nasri is fit and Cesc is fit despite a broken nose!
- Everton have been poor thus far!
- PROPER FOOTBALL STARTS TOMORROW!
I hope that has gone some way to brightening up your Friday and I hope you’ve shaken off the I.W.S!
Why not crack open an early morning Peroni to break in the day… if your boss asks what you are doing, tell them the team at Le Grove said it was ok!
Happy Friday Grovers… roll on Saturday!
[polldaddy poll=1007804]
gee if johan is injured eboue will definitely get his old job back ..
the back 4 thru injury picks itself eboue – toure – silverstre – clichy .
yes id give vela a run ! the lads done nothing wrong ..
he could be that spark needed ..
RVP vela has always been my favored line up ..
i think that partnership could flourish !
and if we haven’t got the results by 60-70 minute mark on comes ade ..
id like to see ramsey on for denilson too , but we all know wenger has his favorites .
and over all i dont think much will change any time soon !
we have to basically be almost in a ‘obvious form slump’ before wenger will go away from
his favorites !
i expect RVP and ade to be upfront AGAIN … ho hum ….
DDM lets have a bet. if toure plays as RB tomorrow I would take 4 days off le-grove, no blogs nothin. And if he doesn’t, well whats good for the goose is good for the gander
Are u taking my bet?
‘And if he doesn’t, well whats good for the goose is good for the gander ‘ meaning you DDM take 4 days off le-grove, no blogging. I had to spell it out to seal a potential loophole
eboue has to be right back,but in any case whoever we think will play,le boss will do the opposite,like song will play with toure,diaby on the bench with ramsey.i don’t think vela will feature(jet lag)Arsehole and RVP up front,denilson with fab,nasri and theo on the wings,hopefuly 4=4=2
Tom – JD at RB is a good shout, dennis has a snout who says AW wont play Eboue as RB anymore –
JD Toure Silvestre Clichy
Theo Diaby Cesc Nasri
Rvp Ade or Vela
Now that wouldnt be too bad, would it ??
guys brb
i keep losing my guitar pedro
I hate life, I hate death and everything in between just doesn’t interest me.
– Chris Rapier
Now there is a man who has had I.W.S for too long… definitely a Gooner.
Chary, I wouldnt believe anything on arse.com!
Up to date news is not their forte!
We may of course get a big surprise -
Bischoff may come in alongside Cesc………………………. OR even Coquelin
Pedro – more likely he was a Spud
Kelsey, have you started on the champagne early?
JD is a contender for the Rosicklist chairman… he is always injured. Perhaps that is why he doesn’t get too many chances?
wenger has never started a long term injured person in his starting line up since TH14 ..
i think if diaby does play any part it will be from the bench !
even RVP he eased him back in slowly ..
What is it with all these diaby lovers ..? it seems the longer your injured at arsenal the bigger legend you become, as no one remembers the way you used to play
?
or how crap defensively you were ?
yet alone how much worse you’ve might of became since being injured !?
rosicky must be a Biblical legend then
He is Ethan!
I don’t really rate Rosicky that highly… he has some nice touches and a half decent shot he rarely uses… some people talk about him like he’ll change our season!
I preferred Hleb.
happy birthday kelsey.. have a wonderful year ahead!!!
afternoon all ye grovers… its FRIDAYyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
vela will not start.. he’s had to travel half way around the world remember?
Really Pedro?
I ‘d have a fit Rosicky over Pleb anyday mate!
Ok seeing as he’ll never be fit…you might have a point.
Yeah Odub – Arse.com always has that caveat, of being out of date or untrustworthy and full of irrelevant stuff, Wenger:”I don’t know what to do to save the UEFA Cup” FFS.
rosicknote over pleb anyday!
hypothetically that is!
I don’t think he is a bad player, I just don’t think we have seen him play anywhere near the level we know he can play.
If he was on form, he’d be better than Hleb… but I haven’t seen that yet.
Maybe a year of watching Bobby Pires videos has given him a new edge.
Who would you have in the team… Nasri or Rosicky?
rosicky pedro.. i think you’ve forgotten how good that man really is
he was always getting us goals to seal the game up!.. and he has a fierce shot!
lady goes to gynacologist for examination, she’s laid on the table, legs akimbo, he’s down at the business end. “before I examine you, I’ll have to numb it first, that ok” he says, “sure ” she replies. He bends over, puts his tongue on her and goes “Numnumnumnum”
Havent seen enough of Nasri to be able to make that decision comfortably.
I will say this about Rosicky though. He had a good world cup just after we signed him, and scored an absolute belter for the czechs. He also won us an FA cup game at Anfield 2 years ago with 2 top strikes….
So I’d say he’s a class act when he’s fit…which is a grand total of 4 games in 3 years!!
Filth Pierre!
Don’t get me wrong Choy… anything is better than Eboue, but I’ve never bee hugely impressed by the Czech. He doesn’t score enough goals and he doesn’t stand out like a wide man should do.
He would be a welcome addition to a 4-5-1 though… just sitting behind the Striker.
“Numnumnumnum”
hahahah!!
Juande Ramos wanted to be a gynacologist but failed the exam, thats why he manages the spuds, so he can still look at c*nts 24/7
Franchise, you have a bet my friend.
good things this would be interesting
Pierre – like the Friday humour mate!
somewhat surprised the kids got a bigger vote than the striker…for 20mil you’d think the striker is the only option? can anyone think of a midfielder we’d buy for 20mil?
Does God miss Liam Brady so much that he decided to make LJW????
Yesterday while looking up some actual legends on youtube , I typed Liam Bradys name in the search box and in the related clip section there was a clip for Jack Wilshere. We can all dream, right?
Pedro….i’d like to get up close and personal with Mary, she looks like my type of girl
Pulled this deaf & dumb bird down the pub the other night, took her home and banged her every way you can think of. Started to feel really guilty about it so i broke all her fingers so she could’nt tell anyone!!! Come on its Friday
I’m almost a big a fan of Rosicky than I am of Hleb!
But Alex takes it on a photo finish!
i think that if cesc doesnt play, wenger will play nasri with denilson in the middle and eboue will remain on the wings.( cam is nasri’s favoured position)
bloggers where u at? its been 5 comments since i last commented about 1hr 6mins ago
good night then
geezers….hows it going?
i voted for defender!
Franchise – I think they’re all at the pub since it’s Friday lunchtime.
Franchise, its Friday lunchtime here, everybody is in the pub
I voted for a midfielder…….
Maybe if we got a quality midfielder we wouldn’t have to suffer Eboue, Song et al in midfield anymore. And, Cesc might get some assistance/backup in the middle of the park…….
i concur
Great pub lunch!! vino galore!! Ha ha!! I can take on the world now! 10-0 to the arse tomorrow!!
How we all doing folks?!!
Joke time!! (I know I might have posted this before(and it’s long), but it’s a classic)
A businessman was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort with an extremely healthy sex drive, so he thought he’d buy her a little something to keep her occupied while he was gone.
He went to a store that sold sex toys and started looking around. He thought about a life-sized sex doll, but that was too close to another man for him. He was browsing through the dildos, looking for something special to please his wife, and started talking to the old man behind the counter.
He explained his situation. The old man said, “Well, I don’t really know of anything that will do the trick. We have vibrating dildos, special attachments, and so on, but I don’t know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks, except—” and he stopped.
“Except what?” the man asked.
“Nothing, nothing.”
“C’mon, tell me! I need something!”
“Well, sir, I don’t usually mention this, but there is The Voodoo Penis.”
“So what’s up with this Voodoo Penis?” he asked.
The old man reached under the counter, and pulled out a very old wooden box, carved with strange symbols and erotic images. He opened it, and there lay an ordinary-looking dildo. The businessman laughed, and said “Big damn deal.It looks like every other dildo in this shop!”
The old man replied, “But you haven’t seen what it’ll do yet.”
He pointed to a door and said “Voodoo Penis, the door.”
The Voodoo Penis miraculously rose out of its box, darted over to the door, and started pounding the keyhole. The whole door shook wildly with the vibrations, so much so that a crack began to form down the middle. Before the door split, the old man said “Voodoo Penis, return to box!” The Voodoo Penis stopped, levitated back to the box and lay there quiescent once more.
“I’ll take it!” said the businessman.
The old man resisted, saying it wasn’t for sale, but finally surrendered to $738 in cash and an imitation Rolex. The guy took it home to his wife, told her it was a special dildo and that to use it, all she had to do was say “Voodoo Penis, my crotch.”
He left for his trip satisfied that things would be fine while he was gone. After he’d been gone a few days, the wife was unbearably horny. She thought of several people who would willingly satisfy her, but then she remembered the Voodoo Penis.
She undressed, opened the box and said “Voodoo Penis, my crotch!” The Voodoo Penis shot to her crotch and started pumping. It was absolutely incredible, like nothing she’d ever experienced before. After three mind-shattering orgasms, she became very exhausted and decided she’d had enough.
She tried to pull it out, but it was stuck in her, still thrusting. She tried and tried to get it out, but nothing worked. Her husband had forgotten to tell her how to shut it off. Worried, she decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help.
She put her clothes on, got in the car and started to drive, quivering with every thrust of the dildo. On the way, another incredible intense orgasm made her swerve all over the road. A police officer saw this and immediately pulled her over. He asked for her license, and then asked how much she’d had to drink.
Gasping and twitching, she explained, “I haven’t had anything to drink, officer. You see, I’ve got this Voodoo Penis thing stuck in my crotch and it won’t stop screwing me!”
The officer looked at her for a second, shook his head and in an arrogant voice replied, “Yeah, right… Voodoo Penis, my ass!”
The rest is history.
i see. unfortunately i dont wk close to ne pubs
Odub – Yellow card son…..
go odub go.
It’s only 9:30 am here …. too early for me to take lunch
How dare you DDM!! that is a top joke.
Step outside sir!
Voodoo Penis Ade
DDM, you are such a joke snob!
Voodoo Penis MOTD
A blonde decides to do something wild she hasn’t done before, so she sets out to rent her first X-rated adult video. She goes to the video shop and, after looking around for a while, selects a title that sounds very stimulating.
She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape in the VCR. To her disappointment, there’s nothing but static on the screen, so she calls the video shop to complain.
Blonde: “I just rented an adult movie from you and there’s nothing on the tape, but static.”
Shop assistant: “Sorry about, that. We’ve had problems with some of those tapes. Which title did you rent?”
Blonde says “It’s called ‘Head Cleaner.”
Don’t worry Franchise – I do work near a few pubs and I’m in an office full of ugly and/or fat people(a few like Pedro’s Mary)so I don’t get to celebrate Poet’s day in the traditional manner either. And we do have a lot of mingers here(all with a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp).
Pedro – I can’t help having standards!!!!
chary – bulldog chewing a wasp, priceless!
Chary – for an alternative sir, try ‘a face like a blind cobblers thumb’………
Dennis – that’s the majority of my co workers ! (If the cobbler uses a sledgehammer).
DDM how bout a face like a bag of crabs
a face on fire being put out with a spade
DDM u r in trouble. Djorou has been ruled out so its definitely gonna be
clichy-silvestre-tour-eboue
http://www.arsenal.com/news/news-archive/fabregas-and-van-persie-fit-to-face-everton
right so fabregas and rvp fit. djouru not, and wenger says he will rest theo.
so our team should look like this.
———–almunia———–
????–toure—silvetsre–clichy
eboue—cesc—denilson—nasri
—-RVP—–ADE——
My personal view: possible lineup that AW will use for tomorrow would be…
ALMUNIA
JD TOURE SILVESTRE CLICHY
EBOUE CESC DENILSON NASRI
ADE RVP
SUBS: FABIANSKY, DIABY, JW, RAMSEY, SONG, VELA, WALCOTT
i cant see eboue playing at right back when wenger is going to rest theo
JD isnt fit vandejie
is that so??? so i will replace JD with eboue and walcott will make a start.
So looks like young Kerrea Gilbert will get a game…if he’s not out on loan?
If AW is gonna rest Theo then we will see PassMaestro in midfield, and possibly song as right back. So we shouldn’t get our hopes too high for tomorrow then.
kenny…i think walcott will start instead…our squad very thin right now…
I still reckon Wenger will play Toure at RB and have Fish head and Song in the middle.
Still Pass Maestro, Cesc, Denilson and Nasri in the middle.
His front 2 are obvious. They are his favourites/undroppables.
insidealbania…possibly also song will get a start at at CB position and toure for RB….
if it helps im definitely not drinking a cup of tea. a bit late in the day for one of those.
heineken all the way!
well its unfortunate that bendtner is out injured but we will probably get to see a bit more of Carlos Vela on sat
I think its gonna be
————Alum————–
Eboue–Toure–Silvestre–Clichy
Denilson–Diaby–Cesc–Nasri
——Ade—–VP————–
depending how the game goes I see him taking off Diaby at about 60/70mins. Denilson moves into midfield and Walcott comes in at RW
so we’re now looking at
Almunia
Toure Song Silvestre Clichy
Eboue Denilson Cesc Nasri
RVP Ade
?
so guys…how about chance to win this game?
i will go for 2-1.
Vela wont be playing because he played in Mexico and AW will say he is too tired, which is bull. When will he ever get a chance in that case. Wenger wont play him when Vp and Ade are playin like shit so when will Vela ever get a start. Same goes for Bendtner.
Pedro
Is mary available?she could be our holdin midfielder
odub are u promoting drinking during lunch time?? u should be ashamed of urself!!!
Vela will just have to wait but he’ll get his chance like dudu did.
Odub I think Wenger wld be weary of throwing two ‘new’ faces at CB against an everton side that are quite a threat in the air…. though no cahill (and others) the’ve still got other players that wld be a threat in the air
Wenger resting Theo? Surely, he did not read my post on here…could he? did he? nah
Anywayz, I think its the right decision to rest Theo – he looked jaded on wed – perhaps save him for the last 20 mins if needed.
Poor JD, this could have been a good opportunity to get a run in the team esp as injuries at arsenal tends to take longer than predicted. I wldn’t be surprised if Gallas doesn’t return in the next 2months, I remember Diaby was initially said to be out for 2 weeks!!!
If it was up to me i’ld play :
Fabianski
Eboue Toure Song/Fish Clichy
LJW Cesc Diaby Nasri
RvP Ade
But i’ld play JD and Nik if they were fit but what can you do like!
Stu the main reason why Ade and VP look shit is cos the midfield has been average. Its even affecting our full backs especially sagna
by the way, i just read the post, that is a fucking corker knackers! good stuff! back to my heineken now!
True, the lack of a quality DM potentially affects the whole team performance.
A DM prevents long shots against the ‘keeper, protects the CBs, allows the fullbacks to go forward by covering them and gives his central partner to roam more than usual.
Damn Wenger and his ignorance, aargh!!!
hopefully silvestre is the ‘experienced’ one that we are looking for.
GM
It’s dying culture that has to be promoted! What would life be like without the liquid pub lunch?!!!
Franchise,
AW has been known to make some baffling tactical decisions, last game case in point.
Also if he’s resting Theo, I cant see Eboue playing RB, which only leaves kolo, hence those 2 at CB.
Sorry meant Arsenal Tom! Who I am sure had a skin full at lunch time anyways!!
Odub u might be right… but I think Eboue as a RB would probably give us as much going forward as he would in RM. The same cannot be said about Toure in RB which winvariably means that we would have a very unstable back 4 that wld offer us nothing going forward. I might be wrong too….. lets wait and see
odub… i only drink t lunch cos i think it will make u like me more!!
4 peronis baby! bring on home time!!
eboue, toure, silvestre, clichy
theo, fab, diaby, nasty nas
ade, rvp/vela
3-0
fuck u moyes
Resting Theo is not a luxury we can afford right now. He’s how old? 19?
I just want to get down to Fins Park, have a skin full, go to the grove and watch a decent game of football that will end with us winning by a hatful!
I live in hope….
my money is on denilson starting cos he’s probably one of the only players in our first 11 that wasn’t involved in the International break
the others being nas, fishface and song (the latter two not even starters)
————–Almunia—————
Eboue —Toure —–Silves —-Clichy
Theo——Cesc—- Denilson—Nasri
——–RVP———Ade————-
Subs …. Diaby for Denilson , Vela for RVP
I think diaby starts… he might not be fit enough but what he cant make up in fitness he would make up in presence and penetration. That fellaini guy is a monster and if we go with denilson and cesc in midfield they might get annihilated
i see denilson on the right, cesc and diaby in the middle and nasri on the left…. denilson would cut in mostly and eboue would overlap giving us the necessary width
fuck me that was a long dinner hour! coors light on special! will nasri deffo play tomorrow?
i think nasri wld play. to give the midfield more invention
Pierre, I would think that Nasri would start. We don’t have a ton of “seasoned” midfielders, plus he is not injured.
I don’t think that Diaby will start. That is not how Arsene works. If you have been out for that long, he will bring you on as a sub. He won’t risk Diaby getting “more injured” unless we are out of players, and then he will simply put Kolo in at midfield.
Ah yes, the Kolo midfield games . . . something to be cherished (note the sarcasm in my post).
re my comment 3.42pm Cesc and Denilson (being to lightweight) might get annihilated
Arsenal Tom, I don’t think that Silvestre will start. He was brought on as Clichy’s replacement. He can play other slots . . . yes . . . but the reality is that we need some size. Johan will get the nod.
Fran, I don’t think that they are lightweight’s rather they are not really big. But then again, how many teams have a Viera sized midfielder. Not many. We are one of the few with a big midfielder in Diaby.
maryland…. Djourou is ruled out
Cahill not playing is def a bonus, other than that Yak’s off form and the whole team’s been shyte this season…
3-1 arsenal!
maryland… johan is out mate
unless u want song in ther wits gonna be silvestre. plus silvestre said in his interview that he’s gonna play more as a CB than LB
Anichebe, Castillo (who?),Yobo and Jagielka (maybe) all missing
Everton from
Howard, Nash, Turner, Hibbert, Neville, Baines, Lescott, Jagielka, Valente, Osman, Arteta, Pienaar, Fellaini, Yakubu, Vaughan, Saha, Rodwell, Baxter.
Say it ain’t so. Dammit Johan. This was your big chance.
Maryland several teams have massive guys in their midfields It has actually become a trend to have a monster u can stick in midfield.
ManU have Carrick, Oshea, Fletcher they all look lightweigt but the all 6 footers
Pompey have Bouba Diop
Chelsea have Mikel 6ft+, Essien is not that tall but he is stocky and rugged
Everton have fellaini
Man City have Fernandez
Barca have Yaya and Keita
Madrid have the other Mali dude
AT, that is good to know about Silvestre and the role that he wants to play. I wouldn’t want him to play as our “last line of defense.” That would keep me from sleeping well tonight.
Fran, duly noted. The reality is, that most team’s “starting” 11 don’t include big midfielders. At least not consistently. It’s not the “prototype. I should know, I sometimes slot into the midfield for my pub team, and I am 6′ 5″. Most teams freak out when they see me playing up front. Causes lots of problems . . . and I’m not that good.
Where u get into trouble is against teams with massive industrious midfielders who just sit back for ur team to attack. they are really hard to break down.
Pro Evo 2009 27 quid in asda at 12.10 am this morning!!!
Cheers Franchise!
I don’t think Diaby will start as Wenger is so predictable with his treatment of players coming back from injury – he’ll stick them on when he does his 75 minute substitutions.
Wenger has no flexibility in his approach – if he either does a substitution(not injury or red card enforced) or starts a returning(from injury) player I will be very surprised.
He’s become very predictable in his approach/strategy.
Odub good things im picking mine tonight its reserved. Cant wait to get home my thumb’s gonna bleed tonight
see u guys l8r
See you later Franchise!
I had a go for 10 minutes at around 1am Franchise! Looks the nuts!
I’m straight back on it when I get in!!!!!
My brother has been playing FIFA like a loon since he bought it… I can’t remember playing a good version since fifa 95 on the megadrive!
Pedro
I bought Fifa 08 and pro evo 08…only played the fifa twice. Hadnt played fifa since about 98 and wont again.
The graphice on this new pro evo is awesome, plus the game play and ball movement is the best it’s ever been.
I bet AW plays 4-5-fucking-1 again!!
Have a good one folks I’m offski!!
COME ON THE ARSE!!!!!
I’ll see if I can persuade the brother to get it… I fear he is a one game man though!
Have a good one Odub, catch you tomorrow!
DDM, I hope not at home!
4-5-1 would not be such a bad idea if the midfield three are Fab-Nas-Denilson/Song, Vela can play wide left and RvP wide right (they can both interchange). With the players we have, I would argue that we can adequately play both 442 and 451.
Nasri and Vela did not start both matches in Ukraine and Sunderland.
vela won’t play!! he just came back from north america!
Odub . . . FIFA ’09. I love it already. My wife has had to do a family intervention twice now. It is addictive . . . like jelly donuts.
ladies and gents.. please also do not forget to update your fantasy teams!
a lot of people are quoting 3 nil or 3 something considering we barely can scrape a team together!
Id like to think we can have one of those special games and just blitz them .. but in all honesty if we win by 1 goal ill be happy …and a little bit surprised !
I’d take one nil… any victory will do tomorrow.
Jelly donuts eh?
i wouldn’t mind if we win by an own goal!
I love Jelly Donuts . . . I am not supposed to be eating heavy sugar foods . . . but hey, I can dream can’t I?
Ethan, you make a great point. I think you will see some nice goals from our front duo, and even a goal from Theo. Mummm . . . that sounds tasty.
hey chary are u going tommorrow? let me know ill burn that fifth gear with dirk on it for you,
pedro well done on you your assitance to day its is very much appreciated
i hope to see many of u tommorrow if poss at the S&B
NEW POST!
See you tomorrow Chris, I look forward to meeting you!
AW should in Jan go to Serbia and pick up a Vidic like defender who is not afraid to head and attack the ball. He should also pick a midfielder in the mould of the beast Gattuso