Bottenham Shotshy, ha, ha, ha!

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Spurs for the Champions league

Spurs for the Champions league

This will be the year they break into the top four, well them, City, Villa and Newcastle under the great bottler Kevin Keegan, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

David ‘I love myself’ Bentley said with the great signings of Corluka, Bostock, Modric, Gomes and the Russian bloke, we can challenge for the Premiership and get into the champions league, and Ramos said after selling Keane and Berbatov ‘It’s not our fault, we need more time’ Yeah like another 10 years and a billionaire maybe!

I think the spuds were invented to give us gooners a laugh, last night was like going to the picture house and watching Happy Gilmore, it was side splittingly funny, thank you Spurs, you made my day, four games played and 8 points behind already.

Why don’t they sack Ramos and bring in Keegan, that would be even funnier, then build a new ground to equal the Grove, they would never fill it though would they?

Anyway onto us, the real force in North London, tomorrow we enter the champions league den against our nemesis side Kiev, we almost have a full squad to choose from with the exception of Rosicky, Diaby and Nasri, I hope they’ll be ready for the Bolton game, I think it would be a bit risky to throw Diaby on although I think this is the type of game that would suit him.

I expect the only change will be Silvestre on for Gallas and if Clichy is injured then Gallas will move into the left back slot.

Maybe Bendtner and Vela in for Theo and Eboue but I can’t see the point in too many changes, I would have Wilshere on the bench though, he could surprise a few people and he does like a tough game that boy.

So I predict that we will win this one by the odd goal, I would also think about Djourou in there somewhere, but Wenger won’t play Djourou with Silvestre, that would be a bit risky for a game so important.

I’m looking forward to this one though and getting off to a flyer would set us up nicely in the group and confidence will be high for the Bolton game at the weekend.

So it would be remiss of me not to thank Bottomham for giving us all a laugh in their top four season, well done you muppets!

Have a smug day Grovers, I feel a great week in progress and a win in the Ryder Cup will top it off.

333 Responses to “Bottenham Shotshy, ha, ha, ha!”

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  1. kelsey

    Lot of unrest at barca according to the spanish rags,yaya is unhappy henry is homesick so maybe one or both will come to us.

    By the way Bud,watch out for scams,big business in those islands,most of the footie shirts are scousers as here as well.

  2. Matt_afc

    Even SkySports are taking the piss out of the Spuds haha, this came from one of the reporters:

    ‘Whats the difference between Spurs and a toothpick? The toothpick has 2 points’

  3. Geoff

    I’m on my way to Gatwick again, Arsenal tomorrow, then Ryder cup action, then Arsenal, then Ryder cup action, what a prospect.

  4. TJ DA GOON

    Afternoon Grovers,

    Even the SSN reporter has jumped on the “Let’s all laugh at the Spudz” bandwagon. Reporting live from outside WHL he only does the classic toothpick joke, holding it up and asking the newsreaders back in the studio “Whats the difference between Spurs and this toothpick”, “I dont know”, comes the reply….”The toothpick has two points”. Ha!

    I didnt even know they were allowed to poke fun like that, what with having to be professional and all. The newsreaders back in the studio obviously found it funny but then went on to say how their boss wouldnt have liked it since he’s a Spud. Proves why SSN are so quick and desperate to portray how its all doom and gloom down at the Grove.

    Now for a couple of facts:

    Spuds have won only 5 (yes, five) league games in the whole of 2008. With the barcodes the only team in the EPL right now to have a worse record for the whole calendar year.

    We have had the most amount of shots on goal so far this season (65) followed by the Chavs (either 52 or 53)

    Oh, and before i forget:

    We’ve conceded less goals than anyone else so far (1)

  5. kelsey

    ttp://thegoonerforum.wordpress.com/2008/09/15/the-north-london-power-shiftthis-is-the-year-for-spurs/

    must read this and the picture that goes with it

  6. TJ DA GOON

    El Tel – Just to let you know mate. I didnt say Manuel is a better keeper than Cech last night on yesterdays article. I simply stated that he has been more consistent than Cech over the past year, certainly hasnt dropped as many clangers in that period. I even went on to say that i wouldnt swap Almunia for any other keeper in the league right now and as long as he keeps his form up, i will always feel that way no matter how great other keepers may perform. You even downplayed the great save he made against Rovers saying something like he made one decent save from 30 yards out that ANY keeper would have saved. Well that £9m Spuds clown Gomes had a 25 yarder to deal with from Ashley Young last night which should have been bread and butter stuff (and would have been for Manuel) but he made a right pig’s ear of it.

    Also, i aint getting carried away or anything but some people seem to be taking the BB result for granted. Saying they were poor opposition and all. Well that poor opposition will take some points against our rivals this year, i’m sure of it. I’d be happy going away to Colchester and getting a 4-0 win ffs. A win is a win. We should have buried WBA with the chances we created but had to settle for a 1-0 in the end. Still, i was frustrated in that game but happy that we got the most important thing, 3 points. I’m quietly confident from what i’ve seen from the past three games, we haven’t been this fluent in our play for 3 years now. I’ll reiterate (just my opinion grovers, even though the vast majority will disagree) we only have to play JD against the likes of Drogba, Barbie, Torres etc to keep them quiet, i think he’s class, (potentially one of the best defenders in the world, something AW said about two or three years ago), he’ll deal with them a lot better than Kolo or Billy will. Also, Denny needs to improve on his tackling abilities and we’ll be set providing we dont get any serious injuries. Forget that talk about how we need another midfielder in there. We have class in abundance and the current squad are all dancing to the same tune, something a high profile signing might fuck up completely (think about the barcodes being way clear of the Mancs with Shearer and Les Ferdinand banging in the goals left, right and centre and then that inept clown Keegan going out and buying Asprilla, effectively fucking up team morale, tactics and ultimately, their title chances). Most technical squad i ever remember seeing here plus now we have got rid of Shoooot the bad luck charm is gone.

  7. rico01

    TJ – I have to agree with you on two points – JD is a steady CB, who with a good run would become more and more confident, and I have always rated him higher then Senderos. Also, Almunia is a good goal keeper, the defence sometimes leave him stranded and then it makes him look vunerable. Play JD alongside Willy/Toure and I think our defence would be stronger.

  8. Geoff

    Dennis, I like that analogy, thanks!

    Rico no, after I went to Brookline (Country club) for the Ryder cup, I got into two altercations with two Americans that needed to learn some manners where golf was concerned, they were so badly behaved (not a few, all of them) I swore I would never go again, so I’m off to Spain to play golf by day and drink beer and watch the cup by night.

    I do it every year, it’s very theraputic!

  9. TJ DA GOON

    Rico – Exactly. It’s amazing what one slightly taller, slightly more physical CB can do for the team. I feel much better when he’s in there. I think ALL Grovers will agree that Kolo and Billy are too similar. Also, i was thinking about that 14-1. Not bad.

  10. kelsey

    TJ DA GOON,interesting post.I stated yesterday that Almunia looks more assured with each game and that save at Blackburn deserved more credit than it got.I won’t get into the arguement about Almunia and Cech,though Cech is not as good by his high standards since his injury.However Chelsea has a much stronger defence than ours and for that reason he may be less called upon during a game.
    A big statement to make that JD is potentially one of the best defenders in the world,I hope you are right,but potential is as it says potential.I agree that Denilson’s biggest let down is his tackling that’s wihy he is not a defensive midfielder.The fact is we are prone to serious injuries as you well know,the invinsibles were nearly injury free,and as many have said if all our best players were available at any given time,we would be a match for anyone.The fact is we are short of experience and if cesc gets suspended or injured or even one of our strikers we are suddenly understrength.Anyway that’s y opinion.

  11. Arsenal Tom

    14-1 is good… and if our form continues they will soon slash it… well worth a fiver!!! plus i think wenger will do a bit of shopping in the jan sales… nothign crazy but a couple of quiet ones like he did with diaby and adebayor

  12. rico01

    Squad named

    Manuel ALMUNIA (GK)
    3 Bacary SAGNA
    4 Cesc FABREGAS
    5 Kolo TOURE
    10 William GALLAS (c)
    11 Robin VAN PERSIE
    12 Carlos VELA
    14 Theo WALCOTT
    15 DENILSON
    16 Aaron RAMSEY
    17 Alex SONG
    19 Jack WILSHERE
    20 Johan DJOUROU
    21 Lukasz FABIANSKI (GK)
    22 Gael CLICHY
    25 Emmanuel ADEBAYOR
    26 Nicklas BENDTNER
    27 Emmanuel EBOUE

  13. Arsenal Tom

    thats pathetic… they were onyl saying the other say it wouldnt be overturned beacuse he was sent off for ‘serious foul play’ beacuse it was such a cynical tackle… what a bunch of gutless cunts the fa & prem league are these days

  14. Geoff

    They surrounded the ref and he gets it overturned, it’s all corrupt in my book, that dirty Russian cunt own the FA and all his disgusting little players do what the fuck they want, I hate the chavs more than I hat the spuds and Mancs combined.

    One rule for them…

  15. TJ DA GOON

    gunner8 – Haha

    Kelsey – Thats all it comes down to mate. Who’s got the most luck with injuries through the course of the season. Last year the Mancs had greaseball fit all season as well as Ferdinand and Vidic (their three top performers). If any of them had missed a chunk of games they would have won fuck all. My mate (Manc fan) even admits, like Fergie did, that had it not been for injuries to key players at crucial times, we would have won the league. The Chavs had an interrupted season last year too so they faltered like us but Carrick is out for 4 to 6 weeks, Hargreaves is fucked, and greaseball aint gonna reach the levels he reached last year. Let’s see how great they’ll be this year shall we.

    P.S. John Terry just won his appeal. No ban at all.

  16. insidealbania

    I agree with your Geoff, I have been telling my mates that I hate Chelsea much more than Manure but they cant understand why. As for the spuds, they are a joke. I hope Putin or the new guy wack off Roman, then we’ll see what they can do

  17. rico01

    Geoff, was that in 1999, when the Septics ran on in front of Jose (cant spell his surname) – then showered everyone in fizzy stuff, rude bastards!!

    Enjoy Spain, and the sport, should be a great weekend – and Euro to bring the cup home – AGAIN :)

  18. TJ DA GOON

    Geoff – I’m with you on that one. I hate the Chavs more than ANYONE. Most hated foreign side, without doubt is Real Madrid. Every summer, without fail, they try to unsettle one of our top players. I loved it when Cesc shitted on them in the summer!

  19. gunner8

    Eboue fit, suprise, suprise

    The Full Arsenal Squad:

    ——————ALMUNIA
    SAGNA—TOURE—GALLAS—CLICHY
    EBOUE-FABREGAS-DENILSON-VELA
    ——VAN PERSIE-ADEBAYOR

    Bench
    FABIANSKI
    DJOUROU
    SONG
    RAMSEY
    WALCOTT
    WILSHERE
    BENDTNER

    I am pretty sure that is the team AW will pick with the exception of Walcott instead of Vela
    I would like to see however this;

    ————————ALMUNIA
    SAGNA—DJOUROU—GALLAS—CLICHY
    WALCOTT-FABREGAS-TOURE-VELA
    ——VAN PERSIE-BENDTNER

    Bench
    FABIANSKI
    EBOUE
    SONG
    DENILSON
    RAMSEY
    WILSHERE
    ADEBAYOR

  20. rico01

    Its funny – I hate Manure only when they play us, when they play Pool and The Russians, I always want them to win – The team I dislike 365 days each and every year is ‘Pool, and the Russians are not far behind.

    Eboue – oh Eboue – oh how I laugh ;)

  21. ReVELAtion

    @ doublegunner @ 9.35am…

    Musical chairs when ashely dies
    musical statues when ashley dies
    the conga when ashley dies
    big box, small box when ashley dies

  22. Geoff

    So as I suspected, no Rosicky and no Diaby, Rosicky was supposed to be back in September, so he has until Bolton and Diaby… what the fuck is that bloke made of? I watched his last game, fuck all happened to him, he wasn’t even subbed, I like him, but with his record, he has to go with Rosicky.

    Have they no pride? they should both give their salaries to charity, Diaby only made it half way through pre season!

  23. TJ DA GOON

    Amongst other news:

    We’re after a 14 year old American kid who has been dubbed the new Freddy Adu (now i dont know if thats a good thing or a bad thing, lol). What i love about the Young Guns article is it states he joined an under 9s team who had never won a game before. After he joined them, they never lost again. Hahahahaha.

    Also, Yaya has yet to start for Barca so far this season so we might be in for him in January. Add that to the Veloso and M’bia rumours and make of it what you will.

  24. ReVELAtion

    to the ting tings : ” that’s not my name”

    They call me Song
    They call me Ade
    maybe denilson
    gael clichy?

    It’s eb-ou-e, it’s e-bo-ue, it’s eb-ou-e, it’s e–bou–eee

    i play at right back
    but i play right wing
    bacary sagnaaaaa?
    always the same

    It’s e-bo-ue, it’s eb-ou-e, it’s e-bo-ue, it’s e—bou–eee

  25. Arsenal Tom

    m’bia said he wants to play for man utd over us or even real madrid, so hes a scum bag. veloso seems hugely over rated… cant get in the portugal 1st team, and lisbon got beat at home by bolton i think!! i mentioned a jan swoop for yaya earlier so lets hope so!

  26. kelsey

    Geoff,i am off now to benavista Bowls club in El paraiso,to take part in the costa del sol summer championships,don’t laugh 264 entries from 28 to 79 years old.see you later :)

  27. Geoff

    Who the fuck is M’bia anyway, way too short, and although Velosa can’t get in the Portugal side YaYa can’t get in the Barca side, I don’t think we need any of them.

    I remember when that Nigerian midfielder told the Mancs to fuck off and he wanted to sign for the Chavs.

    John Obi Mikel was his name, they said at the time he was the best young player in the world, he can’t even get in the Chavs team right now, so I don’t believe any of the shit I read about these players.

  28. TJ DA GOON

    Rico – My old man is a a big Manyoo fan so as a kid i had a soft spot for them. I used to hate seeing him upset whenever they lost. He was hurt but not as hurt as he was when, as a 5 year old, after many unscrupilous efforts on his behalf to make me one of them (what with the toddler replica Manscum pj’s) i turned to him and said something like “No dad, i like Arsenal, they are the best”. Broke his Mancscum heart. The older i have got the more i have witnessed how bloody arrogant their fans really are. Now i hate my dad. Hahahaha. Just kidding, but the Chavs (or the Russians, how you put it), they’re something else. Hate doesnt begin to describe what i feel for them. I’m East London, born and raised, but i swear before the russian bought them you wouldn’t see one Chav shirt around here, now they’re increasing every day. I’d even seen BB, Southampton, Citeh and Villa shirts round here before there were any fooking Chav shirts. It’s ridiculous. Lol.

  29. goonermichael

    Apparently if tery had been sent off for a professional foul it would have been harder to overturn. The ref said it was serious foul play to make it easier to overturn,

  30. Pedro

    Eboue is fit I see? Now there is a surprise… two fingers up to all the people who slagged me off for suspecting Eboue feigned injury to avoid criticism! ;-)

  31. Pedro

    True… it seems to be a skill many of our weaker players have.

    Remember Big Phil last year when he tweaked his knee ligaments? Back in 3 days…

    Rosciky… out for two weeks… back in 9 months.

  32. TJ DA GOON

    Geoff – I know………i know!

    I’m looking forward to watching the reserves live on ATV at 6.30pm then i’m flicking over to watch Barca-Sporting to conduct my very own scouting report on Miguel Veloso.

    Til later Grovers

  33. rico01

    I do find it funny, we have just shut one transfer window door, and its 3 and a half months until the next one. The stupid Paps are already suggesting who we will buy in January – just goes to show they know NOWT ;)

    I wont believe anything they write – unless of course they say that AW is definately going to buy

    David Villa :)

  34. rico01

    Pedro – he wasnt injured, it has always been his childhood dream to be carried off on a stretcher. He never thought it would happen as he believed he had so much pace he would never get tackled – Saturday, he just seized the moment and fulfilled his dream….

    Eboue – Living The Dream ;)

  35. rico01

    dennis – i did you bad boy, you know we have covered chocolate :) !!

    I remember the advert and the alternative which the boys would sing at school…… ;)

  36. choy

    haha rico seriously you’re taking this david villa thing a bit too far!!! :lol:

    i think half the grovers thought he was coming home!!

  37. dennisdamenace

    c1966 – Cheers, i’ve just had the error of my ways pointde out by the office girlies, it was admittedly a schoolboy error of the highest countenance!!

  38. charybdis1966

    Dennis I have fond memories of FoF because of that rory Bremner Neil Kinnock sketch. But then I would know about chocolate -having started that particular debate the other wek. Remember – Marathon not snickers ?

  39. gazzap

    If I rugby tackled a player anywhere on the pitch I would bloody well expect to be sent off. I cant believe they have let that cheating wanker chav off. what a bunch of hypocritical cunts the FA are. I thought they said they can only overturn red cards if its case of mistaken identity or somesuch?? or does that apply only to Arsenal players?

  40. dennisdamenace

    That slanty-eyed fucking throwback only got off with it coz he’s the England Captain, fucking xenophobic bastards……….

  41. rico01

    dennis – you should know better than to challenge a girlie on chocolate, its our comfort food ;)

    i really think the next three months are our most important – yawn i hear you all go….

    Diaby
    Rosicky
    Dudu
    even RvP

    All may struggle with fitness (more than now i mean)

    Nikers
    Denilson

    The judge head on me is still not convinced on either

    Come January – some of the abobe may be sold?

    Then………….. Villa, Alonso, and who know else may be bought…… :) :) :)

    Ok, I am probably wrong, but who knows???

  42. rico01

    chary – sneeeeekers instead of trainers ;)

    dennis – behave, i meant spot on for me being fair minded, not what you think ;)

    Got to go fetch the better half – catch you all later

    be good dennis :)

  43. ethangunner

    Yes errr thank you for that dennis – rico , i thought id just entered a XXX chat site !
    ok back too arsenal !

    http://www.arsenal.com/news/news-archive/chandions-league-squad-for-wednesday-s-game

    The Full Arsenal Squad:

    1 Manuel ALMUNIA (GK)
    3 Bacary SAGNA
    4 Cesc FABREGAS
    5 Kolo TOURE
    10 William GALLAS (c)
    11 Robin VAN PERSIE
    12 Carlos VELA
    14 Theo WALCOTT
    15 DENILSON
    16 Aaron RAMSEY
    17 Alex SONG
    19 Jack WILSHERE
    20 Johan DJOUROU
    21 Lukasz FABIANSKI (GK)
    22 Gael CLICHY
    25 Emmanuel ADEBAYOR
    26 Nicklas BENDTNER
    27 Emmanuel EBOUE

  44. ethangunner

    if nasri stays out any longer you can add him to the list also !

    the invincible stretcher man is back ! Hows that ?
    he looked like he died on the pitch 3 days ago !

  45. Pierre

    there are supposed to be 8 academy players in the champs league squad, but thats in the 25, this is the match list of 18, ie 11 on the pitch and 7 on the bench.

  46. ethangunner

    i dont think so tom !
    1 , its too far away(january ) .. and

    2ndly if silverstre is talking like that can you imagine the way toure is feeling ..
    or where he is playing ? if silverstre has obviously been promised to partner gallas .
    Im sure DM will be toure .. it was his position prior to wenger making him a CD !
    also you have ……..

    denilson – eboue – diaby all wanting to play .. sure we have options now . but are they really quality options ?

    options like essien etc..
    time will tell ..

  47. patthegooner

    Hi Guys

    Just back in from the states, Managed to catch the Arsenal game on a weblink. Not sure if it is their ADSL speeds out there or what but the quality on the link was superb. I was watching it full screen on a laptop and it was like MOTD.

    Great week though, I should disapear more often and I am top ten in the Fantasy League.

    So what happened to Appiah in my absence, was it complete bollocks

  48. Big Raddy

    Evening All.

    It is still all smiles here in CPH. Thank you so much Tottenham.

    More of the same tonight please. A humbling for those luck Scouse swine. Even the Bindippers must admit they are the luckiest team iin World football.

    And an injury or two for the Chavs would be nice. Or is that mean? :evil:

  49. Pedro

    When I first read that headline, i thought it said,

    Wenger changed my Wife.

    Nothing much going on in the world of Arsenal?

    It’s awfully quiet when we’re winning!

  50. Big Raddy

    Choy. Are you worried?

    It sure is quiet here.

    Pedro, any idea what happened to Mike the Neighbour or Steve? Not seen them around recently.

  51. patthegooner

    It is quiet Pedro

    Looking forward to Kiev tomorrow, I will take a draw but it would be nice to put that bogey team to the sword, and then finish it off with thumping Bolton on Saturday.

  52. Pedro

    Mike the neighbour is banned… by his wife!

    Geoff is in Spain, so he’ll get a speaking to regarding the matter!

    Steve has gone awol in the last week? I am guessing either the knock on effects of the crashing economy have meant he is working overtime… or IT have stuck Le Grove on the black list at his office!

  53. rico01

    Ah – tomorrow -

    I reckon 3-1 or 3-2 – but in reverse, we will win, and Almunia will show all the doubters just how good he is :)

  54. paul

    Gus Caeser commentating for ATV reserves v pompey.Funny to hear him offering the defence advice.Obviously never watched a video of his playing days.

  55. Maryland Gunner

    Rico . . . Almunia is a great keeper. We need to keep clean sheets this season. We had the lowest goals allowed when we won the league in ’02 and in ’04.

    I think Wednesday’s game will be a great show of Arsenal’s capabilities this season. Theo to start?

  56. Stu

    So……cana scored against ‘Pool. Its a shame we didnt get him. Ah well.

    Fabianski to start tomorrow night and JD hopefully but I dont know who I would drop. As much as i “dislike” Gallas I would say toure but oly because i have not seen Kolo play with JD.

    In a lighter note has anyone read the story on Bendtner?

  57. patthegooner

    Hey Maryland

    Sorry did not get in touch whilst I was out there, it was a very busy week

    Bethesda is a great night out, I am definately going back there

  58. Big Raddy

    What a player Stevie G is. Just scored an absolute beauty, then takes a pen. twice and scores both times.

    The man is the best English player of his generation.

  59. patthegooner

    I am sure some of the guys will be around, I will have to get up to the S&B soon myself.

    (Although despite recent results, I am still not spending any money on Arsenal, we are still one injury to cesc away from big problems) Good to watch at the moment though

  60. Paulinho

    Gus Ceaser is terrible. I don’t know why Arse TV have got him. He watches f-all football and barely any Arsenal matches. He didn’t even know about the Gallas incident at Brum last season, and yet they’ve got the guy on fans forum, passing questions on to his fellow pundit.

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