Coq-au-vin signs up! Factual round-up for the moaners…

by & filed under Uncategorized.

OK Grovers, my hot tip of yesterday didn’t come to fruition …yet.

Don’t give up on it regardless of what you read in the red tops, if he was going to Liverpool, I would have thought he would be gone by now.

Still as a way of making up for the sin of speculation, today I will give the two angry commenters of yesterday what they want, a factual post, with no speculation in it.

We’ll see if you like it and if it’s a success I will do it with more regularity and be like Arsenal.com and some of the other blogs, it’s your call Grovers, so here it is.

Arsenal signed a French 17 year old called Coquelin and thinks he will be good, Lyon and Nantes were also after him.

Aaron Ramsey could be the answer to our central midfield woes, even though he is only 17, Wenger thinks he can do the job this season.

We haven’t bought Gareth Barry, Miguel Veloso or Xabi Alonso.

We won’t be buying a center back as Arsene Wenger believes we’re okay in that area, so no Richards, Lescott, Kompany or Zapata.

Arsene Wenger doesn’t want to KILL the youngsters by bringing in new and established stars, so we won’t be bringing in new and established stars. Killing Gilberto and Pires was okay though as they had reached 30 years of age and when you get to that age you smell like wet newspaper and it upsets the kids.

Arsenal will have sold more players than we bought, like last year so we will again have a budget surplus.

Season tickets unfortunately have gone up due to market forces and the cost of the new stadium we moved to in order to compete with the big boys, so hard luck, and please keep spending.

Robin Van Persie is injured again, but we are renegotiating his contract to keep him at the Emirates, so please don’t worry and keep them crossed he can manage 3 consecutive pre-season games.

I didn’t mention Rosicky though as by the time he’s fit he’ll be 30 and we’ll sell him.

One question that was asked but no answer was forthcoming was …if we can lose Hleb and Flamini and not replace them, why did we have them in the first place?

Please don’t forget to buy the new away kit as soon as possible, continue to hate Usmanov and Dein but you can like Kroenke, he signed the lock down and will now do what he’s told.

We owe everything to Arsene Wenger, we were a small club before he arrived and don’t forget, we are Emirates cup and Amsterdam trophy holders and we are determined to keep them in our otherwise empty silverware cabinet.

I hope you all found this informative and respectful, I hope you enjoy watching the game on Setanta sports or Arsenal TV today, we could win if our teams parents allow them out to play today, are they allowed competitive football at 17? I don’t know what the rule is!

None of this was meant to sound sarcastic by the way, I am only reporting the facts. Okay, okay, the Rosicky one was down to me, the rest was straight out of Arsenal.com

Have a great day Grovers, tomorrow the season begins and we will have a school report, sorry I meant a match report!

443 Responses to “Coq-au-vin signs up! Factual round-up for the moaners…”

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  1. GMR

    Geoff, I think the reference to number 2′s is because he thinks they’re shit!! lol

    Geoff, don’t forget the London masters are on later.

    There is no confirmation that Vela is out, but he certainly wasn’t there when I watched sky & it does seem Coquelin has replaced him.

  2. GMR

    Insidealbania, you aren’t allowed to post those links as it can have serious consequences for Geoff & Pedro!! Thats why I didn’t post it!!

  3. Geoff

    Ramsey and Lansbury Wide midfield, Theo and Bendtner up front and Nordveit center back, looks good so far.

  4. Evo in Oz

    Evening all, great post Geoff, solid gold son!

    just got home from the pub, the dog is eating his dry biscuits and ive logged onto the ATVO so im prepared!

  5. Evo in Oz

    pumped for the kick off. setanta OZ have shafted me, so its ATVO to the rescue. i have the golden shark on the bring it home channel!

  6. rico01

    I quite like the look af Ramsey.. – Denilson can not be our DM next season, he is not strong enough IMHO

  7. GMR

    Nordtveit is shit. he is nowhere near ready for first team action. About 5 more years on loan & in the reserves should do it!!

  8. Jimbo

    Wenger is clearly completely out of ideas at Arsenal – I cannot wait until the day he leaves, because until he does, we’re fucked as a club.

    What’s going on in the Barnet fixture? On holiday, and my laptop has a shit connection.

  9. rico01

    Maybe AW has put Hoyte in the middle telling him to prove himself – if he cant stand big against Barnet (no disrespect) then he can not be considered even as a backup defender. Maybe AW will see this and sell him to Villa -

  10. Jimbo

    Wenger’s having a laugh – he has completely dropped the ball over the last five years, and we’ve allowed him to use Arsenal as his personal toy.

    He’s a cancer, and needs to be cut out of the club, along with his toff chums in the boardroom.

  11. ed atom

    Wouldn’t you hate it , if you were a waiter, waiting on Arsene wenger? The guy is so tight fisted, you are duck fucked (to steal a line from EVO) if you are expecting a tip from the trifty Arsenal coach who hates to spend. A frustrated Arsenal fan.

  12. Jimbo

    It is harsh, but it’s been true for years. He went exactly the same way when he was in france – disappeared up off his own arse, and killed the club he was managing because it just became a big ego trip.

    The man’s lost control – he’s no longer doing what’s best for the club, he’s only interested in his pet projects.

    How’s the barnet fixture, anyone?

  13. GunnersUnitedFC

    Aren’t these the young kids Wenger doesn’t want to kill. They look killed already. Ramsey looks quality though. Good buy.

  14. patthegooner

    Fuck that was awful

    i know it was the 1st 45 mins of pre-season but I tell you what we are lacking

    EXPERIENCE

    Ramsey is the one shining light of 45 shit mins of Arsenal History

  15. holidays!

    why on earth was vela left out?! i wanted to see him play, ramsey is the best arsenal man on the pitch by miles

  16. patthegooner

    Seriously if denilson is our replacement for Flamini, Gilberto and Diarra, then we are doomed,

    I honestly would not begrudge Cesc coming back into training and saying actually boss I think i will leave

  17. GMR

    Seriously watching that dross has depressed me more than I was already. These players are going to have to make up our first team squad & its pathetic.

    You’d expect players that want to prove themselves would really fight even though its only a friendly, the only one I’ve seen anything from is Ramsey, the rest have been awful.

    We’ll have even more kids on in the 2nd half & probably look even worse. I really am so fed up.

  18. Geoff

    Evo it’s THE OPEN! Bendtner was nowhere, Denilson is shocking, I’m sorry I sign up to Setanta.

    Get the fucking cheque book out Wenger.

  19. stevie

    Ramsey is gona be awesome for us. What the hell is Bendtner doing?? Denilson is no way the answer in the centre. Hopefully we will play better in the second half.

  20. rico01

    I am just hoping that AW can see what we all do, this group of players are poor – The balls into Thoe and Nik are NIL

    The midfield are not winning anything and are not making the game flow, Ramsey is a grafter and doing ok.

    Even Sagna and Clichy look as if they wished they weren’t playing this game and I cant blame them. Traore looks not bad, but not good enough for the first team… yet

    The new French dish on show now then…. Vela is there……Get your boots on boy ;)

  21. Gelbs

    Think some people are being very harsh. I mean, it isn’t like it is our first team almost playing is it?

    Oh, hang on a minute…….

  22. holidays!

    why has mannone come on? he’s worse than almunia. i don’t want to accept loss already, and i’ll try not to…
    UP THE GUNNERS!!!! COME ON YOU OLD PEA BRAINS!

  23. rico01

    Still shite, but at least the players are fighting back for the ball….. the ball they lost in the first place!!

  24. rico01

    ‘AW would have learned a few things about his players this afternoon…..’ says the commentator..

    Yes, they are all S……………………….. :)

  25. rico01

    How typical Arsenal is this game, since the break, lots of posession and not a lot of end product

    Guess the reserves really do play the AFC way

  26. Gunnar

    After that goal – in the very fist friendly of the new season, after 4 days of training – I’m convinced Arsenal will win everything this season. Before we scored it was obvious to me that Wenger has no idea what he’s doing.

    Get my drift guys?

  27. brendon gunner

    watching the game now, at least its a draw.
    and i really am excited about wilshere!
    ramsey was good too.

  28. Geoff

    I like Baraziite and Wilshere, but how the fuck can the commentator think Simpson is 17, when the stupid arse works for Arsenal TV, muppet.

  29. rico01

    Geoff – he is also probably responsible for updating the website – and the last time he did that Simpson probably was 17!! :)

  30. ReVELAtion

    Guys what’s the score and who are the scorers (if any)? At work and can’t have a live stream whilst on a break…

    Good post geoff! By the looks of things people aren’t to happy with what they are seeing?

    Broke the news bout vela being left out after i got back last night/early morning…

  31. rico01

    Sadly, Randall reminds me of David Bentley when he was with us…

    Bit cocky and laid back on the pitch. Must worker harder boy, you are not made yet!!

  32. choy

    michael.. wilshere looked good…

    thats about it i gues.. everybody else was laid back.. defence was crappy as always.. didn’t see the first half though!!!

  33. ReVELAtion

    van den berg has had his contract cancelled, same as gilbert i think… randall will be another that goes on loan

  34. ReVELAtion

    Yeah, untill we return from austria only then can we get a better idea of who’ll be involved in the first team..

  35. patthegooner

    well that was hard work watching that

    the only shining lights were Ramsey and Wilshire and maybe Barazite

    I will easily forget that game, hopefully we get some more spin from Arsene Wenger MP now about if or not he is going to buy some adults for the 1st team

  36. GMR

    I’d rather see Simpson in the first team ahead of Ade. He was voted league 1 player of the season last year at Millwall & he looks quite a beast.

    Wilshere is absolute quality & whilst Barazite didn’t have his best half ever you can see the quality. In the first half Ramsey was quality, but all those apart there wasn’t a lot to be excited about.

    I don’t see why a million was wasted on Coquelin when he didn’t look even as good as the defenders we already have. If you’re going to sign these kids then buy the best ones, not ones that weren’t even offered a contract at the club they was with!!

  37. craig

    Thought coquellin looked quality…far from finished article but he was everywhere…could be interesting!

  38. SIMON MCAHON

    WE HAVE BITCH SLAP TO LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING YET
    GMR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    cant wait”"”"”"”"”".

  39. GMR

    Wilshere should already be a contender for a first team place, of course he’s too young for a whole season but Rooney was playing at 16 & the kid has really talent!!

  40. Jimbo

    Wenger can fuck right off and manage the youth team. I’m with Gelbs, the guy’s clueless. He has no interest in managing at Premiership standard any more, his gig is with the kids. Get rid of him now.

  41. Gunnar

    Pat, GMR – what the hell are you guys on?

    How can you possibly make a single assertion on the strength of the very first friendly of the new season, after a no more than few days of training. Arsenal fans are losing their minds, I swear.

    I know it’s boring to simply wait and see what happens, but I’m afraid that’s all you can do. I hope i haven’t offended you guys, but I just can’t believe what I’m reading on this blog today.

  42. Geoff

    Agreed GMR Coq au Vin I think is a midfielder but seem to play at right back, not impressed.

    Good for the future but not for now for christs sake!

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